A Crime Investigation

I heart garage sales.
I’m mad about estate sales too.
Thrift stores make my heart all-a- flutter.  The smell of ‘must and old’ make me giddy.  As a teen, I used to shop in second hand stores, for my clothes, because I wanted too.
And, I don’t even consider this a problem.
The town I live in is too good for garage sales.  The people around here don’t need old things that have been used, heaven forbid.  
They are rich.  
Even if I was rich, I would still long for the grime of a good sale.
They do have an annual flea market.  It’s their compromise to help people in less fortunate places, to come and glean from our fine things.
Well.  I go.  Of course.  Just the other day, as a matter of fact.
I found some great stuff.  I’m actually on home decor probation, so I shopped for my kids.
As I combed the sale, I looked for something I could take home that would be fun.
And boy, did I find it:  A complete (new in the box, to boot) CSI Crime Investigation Kit, complete with finger printing. Retail Value $99.00  I got it for $8 bucks.
My kids were over the moon.  And, I was pretty sure I was the best mom e-ver.
They were occupied for hours, you know creating crimes and then solving them.  It was a hoot.
I enjoyed it until they brought this out.
Oh yes, this kit came with a special light that detects liquid or bodily fluids, as my daughter stated.  
I know.  Just typing that made me shiver.

They donned their plastic gloves and protective eye gear and went to work.
ON MY HOUSE.
This is what I heard, over and over, “Oooooh!  Gross.  Look at that.”
“Oh, what til you see this!  That is disgusting.”
It went on and on.  And then it dawned on me:  They are not pretending.
Surely that toy light is not detecting something in my house?
And then I heard this, “She really needs to clean this house.”
I jumped up and did some of my own investigating.
I found my two punks in their bathroom hovering over ‘evidence.’
“Alright, alright, let me see,”  I said and grabbed the light.
“GAAASSSP!”  I shone the light onto the wall and exposed pee pee in a sprinkled pattern.  
I held it over the commode and yep, you guessed it, little illuminated dots.
“See, we told you,” they said in unison.  ”You really outta do something about this,” my daughter demanded.
I handed her the light and returned a few minutes later with an array of cleaning supplies.
“This is a true investigation.  Clues are pointing to you.”  I handed them a rag and said, “Since you’ve got your rubber gloves on, it’s time to clean up this crime scene.”
Not so much the best mom e-ver anymore from the look on my kids faces, but their bathroom glistened.  
At least until someone had to potty again.

Comments

  1. says

    Very nice work……Now they know how to clean their own potty!
    One more thing you can cross off your list!
    Not only are you the best mommy, you are the smartest mommy.

  2. Rhonda says

    Too funny! Cause and effect. Where was that kit when my boys were 3 and 7? Oh yeah, that was before DNA evidence, ha!

  3. says

    ha ha ha ha ha, I’m rolling on the floor laughing. I love CSI but would never allow them in my house, lol. That is just funny. But on the up side they’ve learned how to clean the potty, lol.

  4. says

    LOL!! too funny.. lets hope that the doll didn’t get the light! That light would only re-ignite my already borderline Germaphobia!

  5. says

    My house would glow from top to bottom!

    I love second-hand bargains too! I bought my wedding dress for $70 from an ‘op shop’. It was lovely thinking of the history that might have been…

  6. says

    Great way to get the kids to clean the bathroom! I don’t know if I’d want one of those shining around in my bathroom…but it does sound like I fun game.

  7. says

    If someone bought my kids that kit a REAL crime would be committed and I would be doing the crime. I am sure my bathroom has those very same markings on the wall… Yuck! But thats the beauty of life with boys, Remember snips and snails and puppy dog tails as well as pee pee.

  8. says

    I need one of those!! 4 boys and they all consider aiming optional! If they could see the pee maybe I could get them to actually clean it up! Great story.

  9. says

    Yeah… I think you ought to put that game in your next garage sale! :-) At the very least, you should seriously consider “losing” it.

  10. says

    Take the fingerprint powder away from kids. The field kit and the fingerprint kit were pulled from the shelves due to asbestos contamination. The rest of the kit should be fine. The light is the important part anyway, right. Clean bathrooms!

    Found this out when I was searching for where I can buy the kit.

  11. says

    Oh I LOVE it!!! With two smaller boys (5 1/2), the pee thing is a MAJOR problem! Smart thinking to get THEM to clean it! LOL! Love it! I need that kit…

    Oh and I enjoy thrift stores, garage sales, flea markets – love them all! Someone’s junk could be my treasure! :)

  12. says

    My son has one of those kits, and it made me see all kinds of things!! Not fun at all. I spent three days scrubbing walls and floors after that toy came into our house.

    I heart garage sales too. The season is coming quick, and I can’t wait!! My kids clothes are 90% from sales, and they don’t care. I get the best deals. My favorite is the neighborhood sales. We have one that is over 300 houses…yes 300!! I have to prep for that one. Oh such fun!!

  13. says

    Ok, so I wanted to get one of those things for my daughter who loves, loves, loves CSI. After that I think I opt out of getting that for her. I have enough trouble keeping things clean without her finding stuff I can’t even see. :)

  14. says

    LOL – that is too funny. I need one of those lights to show my 8 year old that he really does miss the toilet 9 out of 10 times.

  15. says

    Mkay, I WANT THAT KIT! I KNOW it would completely gross me out, but it’s so totally cool and disturbing all at once — who could resist that combo?? I’d be scouring the house for DAYS. Which I guess would NOT be so cool.

  16. says

    Hmmm…is it too late to undo potty training and go back to diapers? LOL

    Uhm..yeah..I can see why that was offer to sale..think the mommy had one too many breakdowns after being re-investigated after cleaning?? LOL

  17. says

    Hmmmm….don’t NEED one of those around here..the NOSE knows…I swear the boys around here, young and old…would send that thing OFF THE CHARTS with the misses in the bathroom….really..
    Next neighborhood garage sale…I’ll make a mental note…no CSI kits!

    just plain FUNNEEEEEEEE!
    but hey, the bathroom is CLEAN…**Sparkly** clean…on second thought…I NEED one of those…I think I’ll just leave it on the back of the toilet…let VISITORS even give it a try!!
    hmmmm…:)

  18. says

    Oh no!!!

    That just reminds me of those 20/20 investigative reports where they shine the light on your sink, kitchen sponge and fridge door and all kinds of nasties show up.

    Also, I have a pee thing, so I don’t think I could take seeing it so illuminated. I’m already cleaning stray splatter several times a day.

    Deb
    sandiegomomma.com

  19. says

    I will remember to stay away from any CSI kits at garage sales! And don’t bring that to my house, your kids would have a lot of data to search! I will live in denial. I have to or I will go crazy.

  20. says

    I’ll tell ya what the crime is here – bad aim!! You should be puttin’ those kids in potty jail! LOL!!

    I am a garage sale fanatic too. LOVE THEM!

  21. says

    Yet another thing my kids WILL NOT be getting anytime soon…the Little Imp is bossy enough as it is. I can just hear all sorts of interesting commentary from her with a CSI kit. It would especially be encouraged by her Grandpa who is a sheriff!!!

    I had to laugh though as I read your kids’ comments, it reminded me of those two little British ladies from the show; “How Clean Is Your House.”

    On the garage sale note….I CANNOT wait for Memorial Day weekend….we should all be plenty thawed out by then, here in Maine, to have some wicked-great sales!

  22. says

    Aren’t you the clever mommy! You handled that so well! I think I want one of those kits. I’m so anal about my house. I really need to know where I need to clean more! LOL

  23. says

    Honey. Listen to me. Listen. Very. Carefully.

    Don’t ever, ever, EVER take that light thing to a hotel with you.

    You won’t get a wink of the sleep you paid good money for.

    I’d have just turned the light on left it at that.

    “Pee stains on the wall? I don’t see them.”

    And locked the door on it until my house cleaner came on Friday.

    GUH-ROSS!

  24. says

    OMGosh…that is hysterical. We should be neighbors. I mean it. Really I do.
    I am ROTL right now…my kids are running up the stairs at break neck speed to see what I am howling about. They thought I was crying. I was laughing so hard I started choking.

  25. says

    Awesome find, but Oh My Gosh, it actually shows that stuff? Ew. But I s’pose it IS good for when you want to see how well they cleaned. Or you cleaned. Or hubby cleaned. Or maybe you should just “lose” that part of the kit and go on in ignorant bliss…

  26. says

    Sitters. Gotta make those boys be sitters… ;0) (whoamI kidding… they STILL miss even when they sit!)

    Great post – I’m enjoying your blog… Makes my own life seem more “funny” (maybe?)

    Bless you and yours!

  27. says

    I remember using floating cheerios on the toilet bowl, and telling my son to sink them by aiming at them! HA! It worked, for a while, until it wasn’t fun anymore…

  28. says

    That is the last thing I want in my house! With a husband who doesn’t always have the greatest aim, a 2 year old, and 2 cats, I really don’t want to know what’s invisible here!

  29. alison says

    I LOVE it!! Especially how the kids are oblivious as to how the body fluids got there.

    As I tell my kids–mom doesn’t pee all over the floor.

  30. says

    Oh, that is HYSTERICAL! Funniest thing I’ve read in awhile. Lovely story telling. I’m a thrift shop addict, too so I was loving where the story was going! I’ve handed my young nephews scrub brushes before after they were so cavalier in their aim in my guest bathroom! ~Michele

  31. says

    Holy cow, this is SUCH a great post!!! I actually saw you under the link-y on 5M4M – so glad I just happened to check it out, cause this entry is so PERFECT for the entry (I think anyway!) Now I’m going to have to take time one of these days & look at all your previous posts – looks like you have too much awesome stuff for me to just now really becoming a fan! Oh, well – at least now that I’m ‘stalking’ you with bloglines, I won’t miss any future posts. Again – just loved this one! Much love to you and yours, take care and God Bless!

    PS – Hope you’re feeling much much better, and that the AC got fixed so that you can rest comfortably. My thoughts, love, and prayers with you.

  32. says

    I love thrift stores also. We have a really nice children’s re-sale shop in my town that I go to frequently. At the end of the season the owner has a bag sale… All you can fit in shopping a bag for $5. Your CSI post was hilarious… So glad I don’t have one of those things in my house…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>