(To all those wordless viewers, please forgive the um, words. I tried. I did.)
As I’m sure you’ve surmised if you’ve read my blog at all, it is chocked full of parenting tips.
This is not easy, people.
It takes a considerable amount of research to bring you such helpful hints. I mean wouldn’t you rather me accidentally glue my baby’s lips with Super Glue, so I can tell you how to unglue them? Or perform The Heimlich Maneuver on 2/3 of my children in the same month as a life saving example?
I’m here to serve you.
So, here’s my latest ‘WHAT NOT TO DO’ PARENTING TIP:
My toddler is in what I call the Patio stage. If a public place does not have a patio, we do not go. She’s a bundle of energy and truly prefers disobedience over obedience in most instances.
Yeah. I’d appreciate the prayer.
The other day she kept pulling rocks from the fireplace. I guess they were tasty, because she enjoyed munching on them-
I kept telling her no, redirecting, tapping her little hand. So, she got the hint and moved to this:
I changed her filthy clothes, before 9 a.m. mind you, and she started doing this:
So, I did what all good parents would do. I mean, she’s my third child. I’m experienced.
I gave her this, as a distraction.
It worked. She played with my cell phone for an eternity in toddler time- 4 minutes.
And then she went back to pulling rocks out of the fireplace, eating dirt and hanging precariously from the chair.
I’m all about being consistent: consistently screaming NO! Stop! Get down, NOW! And then I started an audible countdown to nap time.
Here’s the tip: DO NOT GIVE YOUR CHILD A CELL PHONE AS A DISTRACTION. E-ver.
Yeah, cause in the middle of all that great parenting, she called the Pastor of our church. On his day off. Seriously. His family got to hear me in my finest moment.
I’m thinking there won’t be any offers to teach a parenting class at church any time soon.
Just a hunch.
For more great tips that actually don’t work, check out WFMW and for some great photos that don’t have words, visit 5 Minutes for Mom.
HI! I'm Kristen. I'm here to encourage you as a wife and mom and remind you there's a little bit of THAT family in all of us. I write books, run Mercy House and try to remember I am third (God first, others second). I'm glad you're here.