My Dear Google Searchers

(Google records who comes to your blog and how they find it thru the search engine. The results are often hilarious. *Update*  Read Shannon’s explanation for how to do this here.  It’s easy and fun and she explains it much better than I can!)  

Hello, sweet Google searchers.  I have been meaning to address you for weeks.   I’ve been watching you on my sight reader and I must say you have misunderstood me.  Because for some unknown reason, I have become an expert in these areas:

1.  Mopping the floor.  Now much to your surprise, I do not mop my floor often and I simply do not deserve the accolades as a proficient floor mopper.  The floor. Is. Sticky. Right. Now.  (That’s because the toddler is watching juice drip from her the cup she is shaking).  Many people have discovered this blog ‘o mine, by googling “overflowing the toilet to mop the bathroom floor.”  And while I have never actually tried this or blogged about it, I think it is an excellent idea and I may just have try it. Thank you.

2.  80′s Hair pictures. Well.  Who knew so many of you cared about the hair style of the 1980′s.  Apparently, I wasn’t the only victim of home perms resulting in afros.  I am sorry for your pain. We meet for therapy every Thursday.  Please join us.  We care.  And I’m sorry to the souls out there who found me by googling, “mother takes son for first perm pictures” and “forced perm”,  I feel your pain.  I really do
3. THAT family. I think we all fit into certain stereotypes.  I’ve learned that not only are we THAT family, we are also, “a style family” (thank you, truly), “a perming family” (you know how to wound), an “esl family” (I’ve learned much from Dora the Explorer), and a “real cruel family.” (Yes, some days.) And my favorite, “a godly family.” Not so many days, but we try.
 4.  Squirrels.  Yes, come here for your squirrel counseling.  We have a plethora of ideas on controlling their population, including, but not limited too, scaring them into accidental drowning. Oh, and by the way, you know who you are, No, I haven’t tried to “fry a squirrel.” Yet.
5.  Miscellaneous.  And finally, to those of you who were searching for answers and inadvertently found me, I hope you found peace with your a. profound itch  b. reckless driving  c. hairy arms  d. strangling each other  e.  being vomited on.
Oh, and to the soul out there in the blogosphere waiting with baited breath for this answer:
No, my hubby is not my twin.

The End.
P.S.  Come back for an awesome giveaway tomorrow!!

Comments

  1. 2

    says

    Oh, this is such a good blogging idea! It is the weirdest thing that I write ooey, gushy stuff, and get people searching for how-to on housekeeping. I figure they need to stay and read my blog to gain balance. lol :)

  2. 9

    says

    Dawn from “Because I Said So” does this from time to time and I’ve been wanting to get around to doing this myself…the google searches are hilarious.

  3. 11

    says

    Ok, I have google reader, where do I go to see how people find me????? I just can’t figure this one out. I am sure its the most obvious thing I will ever do. I’m sure if it were a snake it would have bite me by now. :0(

  4. 16

    says

    That was great! It is so funny to see what people were looking for when they went to you site. I’ve had some good ones to that I’ll have to post some day. Who knew you’d be sought after as a mopping expert? Yea for google!!

  5. 18

    says

    Okay, so like Valarie, I’ve searched and searched to see how to find out how I’m found through Google. Help us, please!

  6. 22

    says

    I found your blog through MommyFest. Even though it’s over, I’m still loving reading the blogs and meeting other women.

    I’m laughing so hard. When my daughter was about 3ish, in preschool they sang a song “this is the way we sweep the floor” and my daughter said “what is sweeping?” she had no idea. ROFL. Talk about embarassing. Great blog.

  7. 30

    says

    I check the google search engine from time to time and some of the funniest things come up! Thank you for you kind words yesterday, I really needed them!

  8. 35

    says

    Well, since you sorta-ish put it out there:
    What IS your cure for profound itch?

    It sure would come in handy right about now. I’ve made peace with my hairy arms, so you don’t need to address that. :)

    Deb
    sandiegomomma.com

  9. 36

    says

    I see a few a few weird keyword searches to my blog on Stat Counter, but I need to check out the Google thing.

    Thanks for the link!

  10. 37

    freefun0616 says

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