It’s Almost Summer and I Have Anxiety Zones

This week it hit 95 degrees. Yes, you read that correctly. 95, as in 5 away from 100.
It was hot.
My kids started their annual campaign to go swimming. Of course, the community pools aren’t open yet. Like that matters. They just started talking about it, planning, dreaming . . . it is the way God created them.
I find this amusing.

God created babies to grow in the tummies of Mommies. These babies love water. These Mommies have to squeeze their tummies into swimming attire to accompany their babies. In the water. Can you see the sick cycle?

Oh, yes, my friends, our God has a sense of humor. HE does.
I love this time of the year. It makes me feel frisky. But not enough to get half-naked on purpose
Nope, I just don’t see that desire in this post-baby body.
And so, call the prayer chain, please, because I started to bathing suit shop. Three-way mirrors and all.
I have one word for you: D-E-S-P-A-I-R. (Guess where all that winter sweet tea went?)
It was so discouraging, I turned to the internet and decided to shop online.  Because, the three-way mirrors can’t mock me there.
And I found a friend at Land’s End dot com. I saw words like, “anxiety zones, petite plus, tummy control, all over control” and I felt safe. Secure. At home.
Land’s End introduced me to this amazing lady.
Her name is Virtual Model. And she is helpful, indeed.
You can enter your, um, personal data and your virtual body appears. Land’s End is kind enough to pick out swimsuits that will look nice on your virtual-ness. Not one bikini appeared in my choices. They are nice that way.
Before I entered my actual, rather depressing, measurements, I decided to enhance my figure. I just made a few small changes to my height, weight, age, and lips. Oh, and I grew my hair out. Because I could.
Here is the pretend me:
I’m pretty hot, huh?
And yes, the bikini popped up in my virtual closet, so I decided to live a little.
Back to reality, ’cause I really do need a swimsuit for all that swimming my kids plan to do in a couple of weeks.
Here’s my virtual body. I’m going with black (that’s pretty much all the choices I was given because it’s slimming). But, I think it will work.
So, go on, and try it. It is almost summer, you know!

Virtual swimsuit shopping works for me.  Visit Works for Me Wednesday to see what works for everyone else.

And, I have an amazing giveaway going on right now.  Click here, leave a comment and you’ll have a chance to win a gorgeous custom charm bracelet valued at $60!
*Update*  To use Land’s End’s Virtual Model, Pick a suit and click try it on to get to the virtual model.


Boo Mama’s Kick in the Pants

BooMamaBeforeAfter

I’ve been wanting to redo my bedroom, well, pretty much since the last time I redid my bedroom.

Because 12 years is a long time to have the same decor.  
Oh, I kid.
11 years is a long time to have the same decor.
Anyhoo, Boo Mama, the HGTV loving woman that she is, has encouraged her internets to get busy with a little before/after project.
So, I have a little over a month to:
1. Get me some new furniture (which works out nice since I’ve been saving for just that).
2. Give all my old decor to Goodwill.
3. Add new bedding and hang up some of my old flea market finds.
Whew!  I’d better get busy!
See ya on July 25th!

I love ETSY – Awesome Giveaway!

*Update* Congratulations Storm!
I fall in love easily.   It was a bit of a problem as a teen.  
Until I met my hubby.
And then it seemed to be a good trait, for both of us.
It has proved to be a challenge when it comes to shopping.

I just discovered Etsy a couple of months ago.  I know.  Where have I been?

It was love at first click.
But I found it to be a bit overwhelming.
Until I found the pounce button.  Pounce divides the beautiful homemade Etsy products into two categories:  Just sold and Undiscovered.   And oh, when I have a spare minute or two.  I just pounce away.  
As Mother’s Day approached a few weeks ago, I was in a bit of a panic about my Mother’s gift.  (My mother-in-law got this beautiful bracelet and a biscuit cutter, remember?)  But my Mom?  Not so easy.  
I had one advantage to this huge shopping challenge:  she is a collector.
And so, I pounced. A lot.
I found this: Summerpoet Studio. She is a talented jewelry artist.  Her specialty?  Altered charm bracelets.  I found this enchanting bracelet of antique photos of girls and their dolls.  My mom is an avid doll collector.  
You cannot imagine my delight.  I bought it.  And then I clicked thru every bracelet SummerPoet had for sale.  Simply.  Amazing.  These pieces are so creative and if you need a gift?  The perfect solution.  She does beautiful custom work too.
Like this:  my Mother’s Day gift (thanks to my sweet hubby and kids).  She captured the glory of my kids in the blue bonnets:
And, she’d like to create a beautiful bracelet for one of my readers!  Oh, yes, it’s true!  Go over and visit Summerpoet Studio at Etsy.  Come back here, leave a comment (only one, please) about which bracelet you’d choose or the winner can send her photos and have a custom Mom’s bracelet made, like mine.
So, go now, I’ll wait here for you (because I’ve memorized everything in that store).  I can’t wait for you to see these amazing and creative works of art!
This giveaway will conclude at 10 pm Wednesday CST. The winner of this $60 bracelet will be announced soon after.

My Dear Google Searchers

(Google records who comes to your blog and how they find it thru the search engine. The results are often hilarious. *Update*  Read Shannon’s explanation for how to do this here.  It’s easy and fun and she explains it much better than I can!)  

Hello, sweet Google searchers.  I have been meaning to address you for weeks.   I’ve been watching you on my sight reader and I must say you have misunderstood me.  Because for some unknown reason, I have become an expert in these areas:

1.  Mopping the floor.  Now much to your surprise, I do not mop my floor often and I simply do not deserve the accolades as a proficient floor mopper.  The floor. Is. Sticky. Right. Now.  (That’s because the toddler is watching juice drip from her the cup she is shaking).  Many people have discovered this blog ‘o mine, by googling “overflowing the toilet to mop the bathroom floor.”  And while I have never actually tried this or blogged about it, I think it is an excellent idea and I may just have try it. Thank you.

2.  80′s Hair pictures. Well.  Who knew so many of you cared about the hair style of the 1980′s.  Apparently, I wasn’t the only victim of home perms resulting in afros.  I am sorry for your pain. We meet for therapy every Thursday.  Please join us.  We care.  And I’m sorry to the souls out there who found me by googling, “mother takes son for first perm pictures” and “forced perm”,  I feel your pain.  I really do
3. THAT family. I think we all fit into certain stereotypes.  I’ve learned that not only are we THAT family, we are also, “a style family” (thank you, truly), “a perming family” (you know how to wound), an “esl family” (I’ve learned much from Dora the Explorer), and a “real cruel family.” (Yes, some days.) And my favorite, “a godly family.” Not so many days, but we try.
 4.  Squirrels.  Yes, come here for your squirrel counseling.  We have a plethora of ideas on controlling their population, including, but not limited too, scaring them into accidental drowning. Oh, and by the way, you know who you are, No, I haven’t tried to “fry a squirrel.” Yet.
5.  Miscellaneous.  And finally, to those of you who were searching for answers and inadvertently found me, I hope you found peace with your a. profound itch  b. reckless driving  c. hairy arms  d. strangling each other  e.  being vomited on.
Oh, and to the soul out there in the blogosphere waiting with baited breath for this answer:
No, my hubby is not my twin.

The End.
P.S.  Come back for an awesome giveaway tomorrow!!