My Life is a Theme Night

So next week is Family Camp.

I have low expectations, for several reasons: 1. We can only go up from there;  2. We will be spending a considerable amount of time out-of-doors with the nearest major medical center miles away; and 3. We are THAT family.
Enough said about that.
Even with low expectations, we are excited about getting away and making memories.  
Every night there is a theme.  Families are to dress accordingly.  Fun, right? 
Well.  After scouring Party City, I decided we needed to do more in-depth shopping for our 60′s outfits and Fiesta wear.  
In the parking lot of the Goodwill store, I explained to my kids that we were looking for Mexican dresses (you know the touristy kind with the embroidered flowers?) and Mexican dress shirts (the kind waiters wear at my favorite restaurant).
Now, let me start by saying, I love second-hand stores.  I have found some great treasures in my day and while in Bible college, most of my clothes came from Salvation Army.  It’s in my blood and I can sniff out a great find.
My kids?  Oh, they did plenty of sniffing.  As soon as we walked in the store they gasped and covered their noses, bemoaning the smell of used items.  
I gave them the evil eye.  Like this?
Oh, did I scare you?  Good.  I do apologize.
And then my daughter said loudly, “Where are the Mexican clothes?”
Every eye was on us, including several Hispanic shoppers.
For Pete’s sake.
I whispered, “It’s a Fiesta!  We’re looking for Fiesta wear!”
We made our way around the store and my son exclaimed loudly and hurried us to the pre-worn lingerie and underwear department, saying, “I found outfits for ‘sexy night!’”
Uh, that would be sixties night.
At Family Camp. 
Because I’m pretty sure they aren’t bringing sexy back this year.
About that time, I realized our toddler was hiding behind a clothes rack and I stepped over a child’s nasty diaper laying in the middle of the aisle.
Yuck. Exactly what kind of mother . . .  uh, hang on.

Yeah. I checked under my toddler’s sun dress and stopped judging that poor mother immediately.  Because she looked strangely like me.
We scooped up the diaper and the baby, paid for our maracas and flower-print shirts and left a bewildered audience at The Goodwill Store.
Like we really need a theme.
The Talent Show
Yes, there is a talent show at Family Camp.  We have wracked our brain and decided we don’t have a family talent. (Because, no dear daughter and son, people do not want to hear us make funny noises with our hand cupped under our arms).  But we must participate, according to my kids. Or family camp won’t be any fun. No. Fun. At all.
Food for the Soul:
Proverbs 29:23, “A man’s pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor.”

Comments

  1. 1

    says

    Oh my, I had to laugh at the smell part. My dear daughter can sniff out a yucky smell. We have had to catch her before anything comes out of her mouth. Her phrase is, with hand over nose, “what’s that smeeeell?” I’ve got to agree though, goodwill stores do have a certain aroma.

  2. 2

    says

    I really hope the gum was the lesser of the evils. Btw~what kind of church talent show is this,YUCK!?!

    Goodluck finding more “fiesta clothes” if I’d know sooner I could have sent you a whole slew of’em as we’ve got a whole townfull (of thrift shops) to choose from here.Love THAT family kids for giving you something more to post on make sure you tell’em job well done! LOL!

  3. 7

    says

    I gleefully voted before I read that there are tricks to two of the skits! Ha ha ha ha ha!

    Thrift stores definitely have a certain… smell. LOL! You poor momma. I always feel that when I’m at the store, every eye is on us, judging us. The diaper bit was the most funny! I think I about fell out of my chair!!!

  4. 8

    Marcy - The Glamorous Life! says

    I couldn’t vote.
    They all grossed me out.
    Come on, google ‘camp skits’ there has to be something less gross! I mean I know you are THAT family and all…but I say go against the grain this time!

    Oh and by the way you are SO bringing Sexy back.

  5. 12

    Nancy says

    This is hilarious! My daughter has worked the past 3 years at a family camp. In fact, Fiesta Night was one of their themes last year. I don’t think they’ve ever had a sexy night though ;) Can’t wait to hear all about the week!

  6. 13

    Sara says

    They all got the same reaction out of me: “eeew!” So, I’m thinking that they would all be great! Your family camp sounds just like the one that several people from our church are going to next week! (Gull Lake, MI)
    Have a great time!

  7. 15

    says

    Ugh! I’m cringing about the skit ideas. But, as always, I’m laughing. With you, not at you. I love that comment by your son in Goodwill about sexy night. Sounds like my oldest. I left you something on my blog today, so go check it out when you get a minute. Have a great day!

  8. 16

    says

    That is so funny!! I love the diaper incident and then the “Mexican clothing”…Wow, too funny. I just LOVE it! : )

    Btw..I tried to vote but my crazy computer beeped at me when I tried to click vote. So, just to tell you add one to that bubblegum thing. Cuz chewing it up after all that is a talent!

    I hope ya’ll have loads of fun!

    I can’t wait to hear stories..

  9. 17

    says

    Ok, I am grossed out. I can’t even vote for any of that. Good luck my dear friend, I hope you live through all of that week!!!!

  10. 20

    says

    I know exactly which skit you’re talking about, and it’s so overdone. Check this site. Some of them were cute, and easy. Do you remember the one with the hypochondriac who gets every disease/twitch/itch that anyone who enters the Doctor’s waiting room has? Then when a pregnant woman finally comes in he goes running out in horror? That’s always a good one, especially with kids!

  11. 21

    says

    Poor woman! Something so simple…

    Hmmm…skits…skits…let’s see…having the girls dress up like boys and the boys like girls is always funny. And from there you could do some sort of goofy song – I think *funny* is your talent!

  12. 22

    says

    Why *do* thrift stores smell like that?? My kids do the same thing when we go in one. I love them though (thrift stores I mean….I love my kids too though…heh-heh)

    I want to go to family camp! That sounds so fun.

    ♥ Melissa~
    Pink Paper Peppermints

    PS Thanks for your sweet comment on my blog. I do have a shop but it is in sad need of an update right now which I am working on.

  13. 23

    Wendy M says

    “The Magic Enlarger”
    Child(ren) behind a sheet, you add the drama, I’ll be breif. Minimal supplies, maximum funny.

    Explain that you have created a magic enlarging machine. ooo-ahhhh

    Have a person from the audience throw over a roll of TP (kids throw back a roll of paper towels).

    Person throws over a hand towel (kids throw back a beach towel).

    Person can throw over hand change (kids throw dollar bill).

    Person spits (whisper for the person to pretend) over the sheet (kids toss the contents of a bucket of water).

    Courtesy of Girl Scout Camp.

  14. 25

    Anonymous says

    Love your blog. I too have “that family!” My husband (a seminary student) is always telling my 5 and 3 year old – STOP I don’t want to be “that family!” Great to read about normal family life and be able to laugh about it!

  15. 26

    says

    Eating cereal for lunch, I almost spit out the O’s on the computer when I read the “where are the mexican clothes” statement. Oh they things they say, without any idea! Can’t wait for the pictures and can’t wait to hear the skit!

  16. 29

    says

    We have never done a Family Camp at our church. That’s a great idea. Right now we are just trying to wrap up a fantastic week of VBS! I. Need. Sleep.

    BTW – which night is “Sexy Night”? Is there a skit for that! heehee:)

  17. 30

    says

    Family Camp with Theme Night sounds like so much fun. I’d suggest it but that would mean we’d have to participate.

    I love me a good thrift store. Really. Thankfully we’ve never dropped a diaper in one. haha

  18. 32

    says

    Hi! I am new to blogging and love to read your blog. Let’s see…skits…the only skits I can think of have been from my MOPS (mothers of preschoolers)group. So,unless everyone in your family suddenly wants to be a mom for a skit, that won’t work! Have fun at camp! By the way, I think I read something the other day in one of your posts about ever doing a Texas bloggers get together. Count me in if you do! Take care, Julie

  19. 35

    says

    I wish I had been in that Goodwill Store when you were shopping. You had me laughing SO HARD at that one! It reminds me of the time that my husband went out to a restaurant with our neighbor (keep in mind, we live in the country, in the South), and kept talking about “rednecks” and “hillbillies”.

  20. 36

    says

    …we are THAT fam too :)

    “Becuase I’m pretty sure they aren’t bringing sexy back this year” made me laugh out loud!!

    I don’t know if I could handle theme nights and talent shows…you are more woman than I ;) HAVE FUN!

  21. 39

    says

    I was crying from laughing so hard while reading your post that I almost wet my pants!

    Maybe they should have “sexy night” at Family Camp. (Isn’t that how families get started in the first place?)

    And while I’ve never had my daughter take her diaper off in public (she’s tried unsuccessfully at home), I wouldn’t put it past her.

    You are an AMAZING writer Kristen — and so hilarious. Thank you! I truly haven’t laughed like that in a long, long time.

  22. 40

    says

    That’s one of your best posts my dear. Laughing my head off! You are hilarious and so honest that it makes me feel like me and my brood would fit right in next door to you!

    Best o’ luck at family camp.

    I’m sure you’ll manage to bring back sexy, anyway!

  23. 42

    says

    My creativity ends when I close my laptop up for the evening. And I am not capable of coming up with my own skit. So my apologies.

    I just have to tell you for the millionth time, that you are TOO funny and I am laughing my head off over this post. Thank you!

  24. 43

    says

    I can’t wait for the posts after family camp! If your family is as hilarious as you are (and I know they must be), your skit will be a hit…video please!

  25. 44

    says

    For many years, when I was a kid, my family went to Family Camp in Virginia. It was a BLAST! We had talent shows as well. This was years ago but we did the California Raisins dance wearing trash bags, told “funny” jokes and sang songs.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>