They Will Let Anyone Be a Mother These Days

Thank you for allowing me to repost a few of my favorite posts from my Archives on my old Mac blog.  This was originally posted in March.



I was wandering down my daily blogroll when I came to this post by Heather J over in Jirkaville.  It was riveting.  


I was un-bathed.  Pajama-clad (actually I lost my pj bottoms somewhere along the way of rushing my older kids out the door) so, I was half-naked. My priorities were in order:  I was reading other people’s business before I took care of my own.


My one year old sat in my lap while I worked on my laptop at the kitchen counter.   My baby likes to dig thru the drawer while I blog away. 


As I intently read, I was moved to tears by Heather’s post .  My daughter started squirming, so I sat her on the floor.  She had a plastic thingy in her hand.  At least that’s what I thought it was.

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4.5 seconds later, she started screaming.


I whipped around and IN-SLOW-MOTION-BECAUSE-I’M-A-SLOW-THINKER, I realized that the said plastic-thingy was SUPERGLUE.


Dripping.


With teethmarks.


I scooped her up and ran to the kitchen sink.


These words are FLASHING in my head:


YOU ARE NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO BE A MOTHER.  FIND AN ADULT IMMEDIATELY.


My daughter’s hands were covered in Superglue AND her lips were glued closed.


 


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Let me just pause and LET THAT SINK IN.


Baby.  Lips.  Glued.  FOR ETERNITY.  Jesus, help me.


I’m crying, she’s crying, I’m splashing water on both of us. Praying for help, begging for forgiveness. It did dawn on me in a surreal way, how perfectly still my child became.  She knew it was bad.  And I think she was hoping for another adult to arrive. 


The warm water and a little pressure helped part her crusty lips.  THANK GOD.


She didn’t ingest the glue and that seemed to be very good news.


I nearly passed out when I heard the key in the front door.


A host of heavenly angels ushered my dear hubby into the kitchen in search of something he’d forgotten.  He saw the superglue, our crusty, sticky hands and his baby’s lips and took over.


I googled, “Baby lips and super glue.” Which I’m sure helped Child Protective Services hone in on my whereabouts.


And I’m sure this was an internet first.


According to reliable resources, acetone is the enemy to superglue.  It’s the kryptonite to the Super mega adhesive.


Thank GOD, I paint my nails.


We dipped cotton into nail polish remover and scrubbed.  My one year old perfected her dirty look and my husband didn’t even ask how it happened.


Which now, I find disturbing.  He returns home to find his daughter’s life in mortal danger under my care and it doesn’t even surprise him.


We cleaned her up as much as possible.  


 


“I’ve got to get to work,” my husband said as he grabbed his jacket.


“What?  You can’t leave me.  I cannot be trusted.  It’s not even 8:30 a.m and I nearly wounded your baby,” I said as I grabbed his pant leg and held on for dear life.


He smiled at me.  And left.


I checked on that girl 432 times during her morning nap.  The entire time I couldn’t help to think about the wisdom of these words:  KEEP OUT OF THE REACH OF CHILDREN.


And, all I have to say is they will let anyone be a mother these days.


Get ready for a fun giveaway on Monday! Hint: Take a picture of yourself in your apron because the Apron Queen is visiting THAT family! Really-get your pictures ready!

Comments

  1. 1

    says

    It never ceases to amaze me the “trouble” that little ones can get into!

    I think it is a riot though that your hubs didn’t question what happend at all!

  2. 2

    Mrs. Querido says

    I LOVE this post! I’m glad everything worked out just fine. By the way, were the photos taken during the fiasco, or after…lol.

    And I so know the feeling of inadequacy somedays when it comes to be a mom… thanks for the reminder of Who is really in control of it all!

  3. 7

    says

    Oh – I can so see me doing this! Baby has poked holes in glue, but fortunately not superglue. And fortunately the glue so far has not been toxic.

    And then the guilt feelings afterwards – I CAN SO see me going through that! Which I think shows you are perfectly ready to be a REAL mom!

  4. 8

    Coffee Please! says

    LOL… made for an entertaining post even if it was at the expense of a 1 year old with lips glued shut. LOL.

    Thankfully superglue isn’t made like it used to be! The quality is pure crap compared to the superglue of the 70′s and 80′s… WHEW!

  5. 11

    says

    Oh my heart just aches for you. Tears in my eyes as I feel you must have had such pain in your heart and soul that day. It was an accident, yet it does not make us feel any beter. These stupid computers may be the death of us yet huh? Looking back I am sure you probably laughed, but still your nerves of steel must have wilted a little that day. What a beautiful little girl and brave momma. Have a wonderful weekend.

  6. 13

    says

    Oh… this totally could have happened to me. Totally.

    I’m working on a post to fit into your THAT Family Tree Society. Thanks for starting it. :)

  7. 14

    says

    Oh NO! So totally something that would happen around here!

    Please don’t beat yourself up. I know an adult who once opened the lid of the superglue with her teeth and glued her molars together. It could be worse! She had a looooong day at the dentist that day.

  8. 15

    says

    Oh thank you so much for sharing. That is something I have a fear of happening in our house. My boys never cease to amaze me the amount of trouble they can get into in such a short amount of time. We have pretty blue footprints on our black driveway. And my husband would have done the same thing.

  9. 16

    says

    Oh my! I can feel the panic because I’ve been there – not with superglue, but other things! So glad it worked out! And I’ll link to you in my next post that I’ve had stewing in my head for a week or 2! Perfect timing!

  10. 18

    says

    Gosh, you had to have been terrified. Thank God that host of angels brought your husband home. I happen to think, however, that you would have handled it just fine even if they hadn’t helped you out. You were well on your way with the warm water.

  11. 20

    says

    You discovered my secret for fixing everything! Nail polish remover works wonders on all sorts of things (like Windex from My big fat Greek Wedding). Keep it handy to get sharpie marker off hardwood floors and removing those obnoxious kid tattoos.

  12. 22

    says

    I absolutely love reading these stories! Your writing is fantastic, but the way you weave that into our human experience is just perfect.

    ~Luke

  13. 23

    says

    Reminds me of the time Elaina shot her daddy’s “Axe” body spray in her mouth and I had to call poison control… *SIGH* And I was STANDING RIGHT THERE!

  14. 26

    says

    “Which now, I find disturbing. He returns home to find his daughter’s life in mortal danger under my care and it doesn’t even surprise him.”

    LOL!!!

  15. 27

    Marcy - The Glamorous Life! says

    I don’t know- but just to try and make you feel a little better here is a tale for you…

    Once when I was a kid and acrylic nails and the new super glue were fairly new to the market. The bottle it came in was nearly identical to an eye drop bottle on the market (ooh I feel you cringe)…SOOOOOOO, my mother picked up the wrong bottle and put SUPER GLUE in her EYE. I was like 10 and my brother was 14. He did not have a drivers permit. So she screamed for him and said get my keys you have to drive me to the hospital. So off we went in our station wagon- and me in my bathing suit (I don’t know why) and my brother DRIVING (which was freaky and illegal)…and all the while my mom holding her eye and crying. Turns out it wasn’t all that bad. The doctor numbed her eye and (cringe here too) pulled the layer of super glue off her eye……

    Feel better? Good that is what friends are for. To come up with a story as bad as yours to make you feel normal. you are welcome.

  16. 29

    says

    I relinked a past post also…but I don’t think it’s a “That” family tree tribute..I’m still holding out for one that tops your own!

    LOL! ;D

    I love the new school pix and your dd socks are totally cool with that dress! Sweet!

  17. 31

    says

    My son managed to drink saline solution, rubbing alcohol and Pepto. Thankfully not all in the same day. I only had to call Poison Control for the last two.

    So far, mine is the only one to land her kid in the hospital. With real, live surgery. Maybe I’ll get a hall of shame mention or something.

  18. 32

    says

    OMG! My daughter tried to drink spray-n-wash once and I thought that was bad. I would have totally freaked. So glad that she is okay.

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