On Being Me

If you saw me walking down the sidewalk, you wouldn’t look twice.

If you saw me at Target, you wouldn’t notice me.  (You might notice my kids because they are eating unpaid for goldfish crackers). 
But me? No. I probably wouldn’t even make eye contact with you.
I’m just an average mom. I blend in the crowd.
And I like it that way.
Because I am an introvert.
You won’t see me guffaw or cackle in a crowd.
I will probably never own a bullhorn.
Many readers assume I’m the life of the party.
Um, no.
I have to talk myself into attending the party.
Sometimes hours pass in a day and I talk to no one, unless email counts.
I am physically drained by crowds, although I have rare moments when I crave them.
And I re-energize when I’m alone.  
I think that’s why being THAT family is not always a barrel of  fun for me.
And it may also be why I love writing about it so much. 
Now, I’m not shy.  I do love one-on-one and small groups. 
And I have a handful of true blue friends that see the blog and the mom as one in the same.
But in this virtual world, where we meet everyday, I am free. Even outrageous! 
I can be extroverted me.  The part few people see.
One day I might get up the nerve to attend a blogging conference, but you probably won’t even know I’m there.
And if you ever run into me at Target, help me clean up the 142 goldfish crackers my toddler spilt, k? Because I am probably very embarrassed. 
What about you? Are you one in the same on your blog and in real life? Or do you feel uninhibited in the virtual world? 

Tell me in the comments (a) total introvert in blogworld and in real life. Right now, you’re saying stop looking at me (b) Real life introvert, but loosey goosey on your blog (c) bullhorn carrier in both worlds (d)lurker in blogworld, known for loud guffawing in real life

Food for the Soul:
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Comments

  1. says

    Hmmm, I don’t know which category to put myself in, but I’m shy around people I don’t know, but get pretty crazy when I’m in my comfort zone. People usually call me outgoing and comment on how confidant and strong I am, although I see myself as more of a behind the scenes type of person. I’m the oft upstaged, mousy looking, sibling of a gorgeous blonde bombshell.

    I wish I could be *slightly* more real on my blog, but I can’t because *certain* people read it. Othen than that, I’m pretty much an open book in both worlds, assuming people are interested in reading.

    Do I fit into a category? Am I getting on your nerves yet?

  2. says

    I’m: (b) Real life introvert, but loosey goosey on the blog

    I think many of my blogging friends are the same way.

    I’ll write about anything, but can go through a whole party without saying a word!

  3. says

    I always test one point or percent between introvert and extrovert,and I think I am the same on my blog. I have times of being bold and out there, yet I must stay reserved because I know certain people are reading. It’s the same in real life. I do prefer smaller groups over giant crowds in person. i am known for being, um, blatant and saying what I think, and other times being silent….I think there needs to be a new category :)

  4. says

    I’m a strange mix, but C definitely fits the bill. I get anxious in real life situations where I don’t know anyone, but by the time 5 minutes has passed, I know half the room.

    And my blog? It’s me – 100%. I just write it and throw it out there. I don’t worry too much about every entry being the “perfect” blog. I yam what I yam!

  5. says

    I'm a little shy on my blog still..ya know I have certain readers…uh, Mom & Dad! I'm a real cut up in person though. Hopefully I'm getting more real on my blog….check it out..do I sound stuffy?

  6. says

    I think we are A LOT alike. I too am an introvert but can deal well with deep, one-on-one relationships and small groups. I get worn out by people…even my medium sized family. I so need my alone time to re-energize. I love blogging because its a controlled, one at a time interaction. And there’s no competition. In a big group of women, I tend to be the quiet one and not force my way in the conversation. It’s not in me. But in the blog world, its just me. I wouldn’t say Im different on my blog…maybe just more willing to be myself. Blogging is great for introverts!

  7. says

    I am also an introvert. I need alone time to function well. But I also love people and being around people. I just can’t do it all the time. I hope I am the same on my blog as in real life…I think I am. Blogging gives me a voice I don’t always have. It helps me process thoughts and say things that might otherwise be left unsaid.

  8. says

    I think I’m (b). The way you described yourself sounds almost exactly like me! Scary – LOL! And I would probably be a little more loose on my blog except that I want to keep hubby happy (for example, he is too embarrassed for me to show “before” pics) and some subjects are off limits because I know who is reading my blog.

    I think the extrovertedness (spellcheck is trying to tell me that’s not a word, but I am not listening) is why I like blogging so much.

    Maybe we can be wallflowers together at a conference sometime. :)

  9. says

    Hmmm…I don’t know if I’m really an introvert or not. I think maybe a little. I don’t think I come across that way on my blog, though. I AM a little bit of an anxious person. I know that doesn’t come across.

    But I am definitely one of those behind the scenes types. I like to blend, too!

    Oh, and if you see ME at Target, you’ll know it. I’m the one with the loud redheaded baby girl. You can’t miss me. No matter how much I shush her…

  10. says

    I’m a B.

    You described me almost to a “T” and I hate it. I love being alone and not being noticed, but having three toddlers on public outings – yeah that isn’t gonna happen.

    I’m not so much loosey goosey on cyberspace, but I definitely am much more open. Yet still reserved.

    I’d love to be able to feel comfortable in my own skin no matter where I am.

  11. says

    I’d have to say what you get is what you read or hear both virtual and real life.
    One of the many compliments that others in real life say is “you say what you feel and I know where I stand with you..therefore I trust you” and this has helped to make me, me.

    However it sure is nice for me to be able to first think about what I want to say and then edit and edit again and again if need be.
    That’s what I love love love about the blog side of things.

    If only I could handle the opinions and conversations in real life with and edit button, buuutttt noooo I tend to eat my “inserted foot” before this happens, quite often.

    O’well what doesn’t kill us, teaches us!

    Have a great day Kristen and FYI…were I to see you in a crowd I would notice you and I would run up and hug you because I think your really THAT cool and I’m a fan of yours introvert or not!

  12. says

    Strangely enough, I don’t fit in any of the categories. I was an extreme extrovert with great self-confidence up until I entered college. At that point, I realized that I was an outcast, not from the big city, not part of the ‘in’ crowd and slowly since then I’ve turned toward the introverted nature.

    I know most people don’t change in their lifetime but it is true, I’m a 80/20 gal now, 80% introvert, 20% extrovert. I”m not even outgoing loud and excited with my own family. I’m a shut-mouth learn from others type now.

    As for my blog, I’d call it 50/50. It depends on the topic. If it is education or depression/anxiety talk, I’m about as extroverted as they come, the rest of the time, I try to lay low I comment often but compared to the 100 or 125 blogs I try to read, my 20 or 30 comments a day don’t seem like much.

    So, there go, in a nutshell, I’m one mixed up lady.

  13. says

    I loved this question.

    There are those of us who read blogs, but do not have blogs, and will never have blogs. (Not being snobbish, just realistic.)

    And, us readers, have always wondered this. Are bloggers living in a virtual world? How does their family feel about being exposed to the world? Are they afraid of real stalkers? (I pray that never happens.) How do they come up with anything mildly interesting everyday?

    Sorry for the long post, but I do want to send a great big thank you to all of you who do blog….you certainly brighten my day.

    Sincerely from shy…. but the person who knows the entire life story of the person in front of them at the supermarket….
    Helen

  14. says

    I would have to say I am in between in both worlds! There are times when I am as extrovert as they come (probably on the verge of obnoxious, but at least I can admit it) and other times I am the one who needs some alone time too. I am slowly learning to speak up more on my blog so that others know they aren’t alone, then I’m reminded my family reads my blog and I back down again. I am really encouraged by your blog by the way!

  15. says

    B. I’m an extreme introvert in real life, but I do alright in crowds, I think, because I’ve moved so much (18 times in 34 years). I do, however, fall apart after a time and MUST go home to my cave.

    And yes, that is why parenting the Tongginator can feel so embarrassing to me.

  16. says

    I could’ve written your post today, except if my 16 year-old eats unpaid for crackers, she’s on her own when they arrest her. And I had several people tell me at She Speaks that I’m way more subdued in real life than on the blog. They thought I’d enter the room with a lampshade on my head.

  17. says

    I could have written this post myself, so I guess I am definitely a b…I think, I have already forgotten the choices. However, I could not have included the part about the goldfish crackers. Because I would NEVER let my kids open something I hadn’t paid for. Because THAT might draw attention to me as well and that would be HORRIBLE! Truly, I am probably more honest and more myself on my blog. For some reason, it just seems so much easier, safer, etc. than “real life” at least if people are staring, or looking at me like I am crazy, I don’t know it!

  18. says

    (c) bullhorn carrier in both worlds
    I am very outgoing and not shy. I think that is seen in real life and in my blog. I would hope I am the same in both worlds.

  19. says

    Ok so I don’t know how I missed “C”…that’s me! I was distracted talking to my hubby in Iraq! LOL So much for doing two things at once! LOL I’m a total “C” person for the most part!

  20. says

    I am me… in real life and online. Too many words pour forth in both worlds – I’m one of those “can’t say ‘hi’ in less than 20 minutes” kinda gals. I’m not shy but I need alone time regularly to “recharge.”

  21. says

    You described me perfectly. My kids are extroverts though. I loathe parties. Absolutely loathe them. I love being alone, and that’s how I recharge.

    I think that’s why blogging is so perfect for me too, but I keep my privacy on my blog as well.

  22. says

    I am definitely (b) Real life introvert, but loosey goosey on your blog. Like you, I’m not one to want to be noticed. I love one-on-one and small groups, but don’t dare ask me to stand up in front of a whole group of people. =) I love my blog, because I do feel a litle freer there.

  23. says

    I’m a b-c – I definitely let it all out on the blog but in life I can keep my mouth shut, sometimes! Sometimes I am a bit crazy (usually the later at night, the crazier I get). But I can also keep it pretty cool, and not draw too much attention to myself.

  24. says

    Definitely a “b”. I am shy around others, especially in crowds where I don’t know anyone and really dislike huge amounts of attention.
    On my blog I feel more freedom cuz no one is staring right at me!

  25. says

    I’m an extrovert in real life, but I am a bit more reserved on my blog. I share some of the silliness and even embarrassing things that happen around here, but I still guard my words. Mostly because of the wide range of people in my life (and my husband’s life….even professional life) who read it.

  26. says

    I’m an introvert. A HUGE homebody.

    Once I get to a party, normally I’m very comfortable as long as I know other people there who like me. Often times I don’t want to leave.

    I despise going to the store because in our town with my husband’s job I can’t get away with not making eye contact.

  27. says

    Given the choices, I’d have to say D best describes me. I don’t lurk too much on blogs, but I am definitely hesitant about what I post on my blog. Either I don’t want to risk hurting someone’s feelings by what I write, or I don’t think that I am the best person to discuss the subject. In real life, I have no problem freely expressing my many opinions on nearly every subject.

  28. says

    I guess I am careful in both. I am a strange mix of that girl who wants to blend in… and the mother of 5 kids who are not only eating the unpaid goldfish, they are throwing them at eachother. So I can’t care too much. Blogging is just a strange place to be and I haven’t figured it all out yet. Interesting question though.

  29. says

    Oh, I am not sure. I am pretty outgoing when I want to be. If I don’t know alot of people in a crowd, you would not know I am there. I don’t purposely seek attention. If I am comfortable in a situation, then I could get a little out there. So it depends on the people and situations. I feel pretty comfortable on my blog with all of you, but I do worry sometimes about if I will turn people away because I am a goofball. :)

  30. says

    I consider myself an introvert in real life, in the sense that being with people drains me. Yes, I can take charge and do silly things and even be a leader, but I come home desperate for some down time to just read my blogs. I HATE talking on the phone. I’m not big on small talk or parties. But, in both worlds, I strive to be real. You will notice me at the store, b/c chances are my kids are singing at the top of their lungs while dressed in super capes. I let them b/c I applaud their individual spirits and I guess truth be told I don’t care about the stares. Ummmm so I guess to answer your question. yes…all of the above?!?!

  31. says

    I used to love being in a crowd but I didn’t want to be the center of attention. I prefer to just be along for the ride. I am also a mom who allows her daughter to eat Goldfish before getting to the counter. I do this to keep the peace and stay under the radar from others as well. I don’t know why but screaming kids sure do get mom’s a lot of looks. Hee hee hee

  32. says

    Most definitely B. I'm definitely an introvert in real life, but I don't think you can tell that in the virtual world – I'm out there blogging & commenting & twittering & facebooking just like everyone else.

  33. says

    C
    I am known as being 'social'. I am know as being a 'people person'…

    BUT you want the TRUTH?
    I have total complete social anxiety. I struggle to be social. I struggle to be the people person. But I force myself. I make myself. I always have. I have been known to sit in my car for hours before entering a party. I cover all of this up with…>FUNNY. I learned early on, that funny is what people really want. So funny is what I give them. it acts as a buffer to protect THE REAL ME underneath.

    Okay this is so depressing.
    And FYI…I would totally notice you in Target. But I would ignore you. Cuz I am not really social!

  34. says

    You will find this very hard to believe about me, but I do NOT like crowds, do NOT like being around other people and have to push myself to go to events. In my job I HAD to be outgoing, I had to take control of situations and that was fine. But now I have gained weight, and have lost ALL my confidence. It would make it almost impossible to go to a conference for I don’t like what I have let myself become. Isn’t that sad? But on the blog you all see what I want you to see. for the most part I am pretty open, but like so many others I can’t write about everything for I don’t know for sure what family members read my blog and when. Makes it hard to be truly open unless you don’t care what they think….and I am a middle child so I DO CARE what they think….I have to keep the peace with everyone!

    Maybe we could have a conference with blindfolds!!!???

  35. says

    I’d say (B), except I’m not sure about the loosey goosey thing… =) I love to be around people, I more like to “watch” people. Not as in being a stalker, but as in I like to see how people interact with each other, hear what they talk about, etc. I also like to talk to people who are close to me, but I can be very, very shy in new situations. On my blog tho- I can write about anything, I love commenting on other’s blogs… If I could just write or type things to say to people, like, all of the time in one-on-one situations, I think I might concider it. Although, being in my house with kids all day long, I can be a chatter-box when hubby gets home. So yeah, B. =)

  36. says

    You sound exactly like me. I’m quiet and unassuming. But, I have a sarcastic side and try to be more of an extrover in my blog life. I do a fair amount of lurking in the blogosphere and am a heck of a people watcher in the outside world.

  37. says

    I always need an “other” answer on these things. I am genetically an introvert, but function as an extrovert in the right settings–especially at writer’s conferences and such.

    On my blog, I thing I’m pretty much the same as I am in person. The difference is that in person it might take me a while to share the kinds of thoughts I share on my blog, mostly because I’ve found that in my real life there aren’t a lot of people that I get to spend face-time with these days that ‘get it.’ I feel a little freer in blogland because I figure the people who visit me there are the people I would share those things with if we had the opportunity to sit down with a cuppa something and chat.

  38. says

    It’s funny because I speak for a living, in front of large groups even, but I’d much rather be alone or in small groups. Large crowds, where I have to Perpetually Perky, can drain me.

    I love speaking and sharing what God’s given me, but I like relaxing in front of my computer and letting it all hang out, too! I’m more introverted than people think, and I think my internet persona is extraverted, too. But then I have my bubble bath with chocolate and all is right with the world again.

    Visit To Love, Honor and Vacuum today!

  39. says

    i’m pretty straight-up on my bog, but that’s because i know i’m the only person that reads it…. and my husband if i bug him about it :)

  40. says

    Oh my goodness – we’re like the same person! I feel much more free to say the things I’m thinking on my blog… I absolutely wouldn’t say them in person!

    I’ve always been like that though – I can communicate MUCH better through writing than through words. My husband and I even have to argue through email because it’s the only way I can… if we were to do it in person – my mind goes completely blank. Okay – that’s a whole other topic… but boil it all down and I’m much more extroverted online. (feel free to check me out whenever you have time!)

  41. says

    I am shy in real life. I am getting better though. I force myself to take my kids to places like story time at the library and it has helped open me up. I am surprised now that I think about it that I say whatever I want on my blog and I am not worried like I am in person.

  42. says

    I am without a doubt your carbon copy, right down to the goldfish at Target. I thought I was the only one who used Goldfish crackers to pacify my children while I try to shop uninterrupted. And I must say it works like a charm.
    I am quite introverted and I like it that way. I have my handful of close friends where I can let loose and who really know the real me but I dont like letting people in to much. Unless it is through my blog. I dont have the humor factor but I like to think people get the.. “ME TOO” moments when they are reading.

  43. says

    I am quite introverted as well. I would like to be more outgoing though, both in life and on my blog, but I’m always worried that I’d offend people. I admire people who can say what they think and feel and don’t care what people think!

  44. says

    I’m in between C and D. I’d like to start a blog, but right now being a mom to two under four, a wife, a middle school teacher, a student taking online classes, a church volunteer, and several other things, I just don’t have time to start one and do it well. Otherwise I’m a guffawer… :D

  45. says

    I’m definitely a bull horn totin’ gal in real life and on my blog. However, I used to be painfully shy. In school… elementary right through college… I didn’t speak to anyone. I was often mistook for being “stuck up.” However, after marrying my husband {17 years ago}, he gave the confidence I was lacking. Since then I have become quite the outgoing person. :)

  46. says

    WOW! Look at all these comments!~I am totally and completely me within my blog. Friends or family who read it regognize me within my writings. I try to write the way that I would tell it in real life. I find, however, stereotypes are so much less in the blog world. Unfortuneately in real life people make assumptions that could prevent friendships that otherwise could have been great. I’m not an introvert, but I’m a reader of people. I love to laugh and make others laugh but I wouldn’t say that I’m loud. I’m somewhere in the middle, on and off “screen”:)

  47. says

    I’m pretty hard to get to know IRL- but I’m a little more losey gosey on my blog, but not as much as I’d like to be. I have so much fun with those I’m close too, I often wonder why I can’t be like that more often.

    I do love blogging though. Even though I’m not as clever with my writing as I’d like to be, it still gives me an outlet that I like.

    Having fun on Twitter too!
    ~Tidymom

  48. says

    Group B, for sure! Everything you described about yourself is me, too. Except I don’t have girlfriends and don’t “get out”. Now I’m not some psycho sitting in a trailer somewhere or a mole in a hole! I just prefer the quieter life as opposed to being in the middle of everything. Less drama this way!

  49. says

    99.9% of the time I’m in group A! Once in awhile I’ll fall into Group B, but normally once I realize what I just did I retreat again LOL I love being by myself!

  50. says

    I cackle. Loud.

    And scream-laugh sometimes.

    I think that I am pretty much the same on my blog as i am in real life. I like to think that I am “balanced” in my personality (party intro-part extrovert)but maybe it is just a full blown case of identity crisis!

    Who knows!

  51. says

    Wow, look at you with this hot topic! Of course you are going to a blogging conference! :-) That is where I hope to meet you some day!

    Fun topic, I remember talking with you about this on Twitter one time. I am the same everywhere, blog or real life, or so my friends have told me. I think I am pretty balanced between extrovert and introvert…I am more of an extrovert, but I love being alone and don’t feel I have to be around people all the time. I am happy to be alone. In a crowd I don’t feel I need to be the center of attention. I like to be around people but not too much in focus.

    :-) I would be embarrassed about the Goldfish crackers too.

    Happy night,
    Melissa

  52. says

    Hmmm…great question!

    I have to say as I read your description of yourself I would say we’re pretty similar in our outward personalities. I honestly don’t care if my phone rings in a day. I do love my once a week girl’s night out with my close friends.

    I guess I am on a journey to be tranparent. To be the same person all the time. I think in many ways my blog helps me do that. There are a lot of people reading my blog who are getting a much better peek into the real me.

    If I saw you in Target, I’d probably be too busy telling my 19 month old houdini to sit down. I might look up, hoping you didn’t notice me pull his legs back through the holes in the cart and buckle him for the 47th time and think “wow, she’s got no control”. If between keeping him in the cart and convincing my 3 year old that he really doesn’t need that princess crown or that Diego bag I caught your eye, I’d just smile at the goldfish trailing behind you and know that on some level we were in the same place!

  53. says

    Hey there! I haven’t popped through my reader to comment for a while, but this is such a good question that I wanted to answer.

    I think I’m “C”; in fact, I think I hold back a little bit on my blog from how, um….animated I can be in real life. Or maybe opinionated would be a good description.

    Whatever — all I know is when I blog, I’m always very aware of leaving a www footprint and I don’t want to leave one that hurts or offends anyone, particularly those close to me.

    So I’d decribe myself as a “c” with bloggy caution!

    And I’m afraid I might not be able to help you at Target; you see, I’d be the woman in the checkout line who’s desperately trying to pay while her toddler screams and thrashes in the cart. Good times!

    ;)

  54. says

    I would totally notice you in the real world. I do a double take every time I see your picture.

    No, I’m not a stalker, but you are a dead ringer for one of my closest friends..right down to the hair style. It’s kinda creepy. It’s like Carrie started a blog in Texas, but no it’s Kristen!

    I would say I am B, real life introvert, loosey goosey on the blog. I am married to a very social guy, so I have the introvert role by default.

  55. says

    I’m halfway from a to b… breaking out of my shell in the bloggy world :) It takes me awhile to warm up – it doesn’t matter whether it’s real or virtual. Most real life encounters or events happen to quickly for anyone to see past the introvert.

  56. says

    I am just like you, Kristen. I am pretty close to world’s most serious introvert. I hate crowds. Really, I deplore them. I need a lot of time to refresh myself in quiet, by myself. It’s taken me a long time to become accustomed to my husband being part of that quiet time, too. That was a transition for me, for sure!

    Online, though, I can totally come out of my shell. I don’t know what the difference is, but I know exactly what to say and how to say it, and I am a really gregarious and friendly girl. I can’t explain it at all, but I’m much more comfortable in this setting.

    I’ve heard that a lot of successful internet entrepreneurs are just like us, so we’re in good company.

  57. says

    I am most certainly a bullhorn carrier in both worlds! I love people and hate being alone! I don’t mind being noticed and I would most certainly come and help you clean up your cracker mess and I would probably notice you were embarrassed and try and make you feel better while talking your leg off!

  58. says

    I’m closest to C because I am very similar in real life and on my blog. I love to share, I am very optimistic and family/family life is the most important thing to me. I am loyal to my friends in bothe places. The only difference would be those moments that I am down- everyone has them- you don’t see on my blog. That keeps with real life too though because I’m very private -except with my immediate family. :)

  59. says

    Think I am pretty much the same both places. Rather extoverted, giver of way too much information. I like to think of myself as funny and sometimes the life of the party. I know I talk too much in real life so the only difference is that at some point I end my blog posts and comments. Usually after blathering on for far too long. As in now :)

  60. says

    I’m (c). Kinda! I’m quiet in real life, usually, except in my ‘comfort zone’ group. I love being at home. I usually have to be talked into going somewhere social, even though I have a good time when I get there. But I can say anything on my blog.

  61. says

    Hi,
    I’m so glad I stopped by your blog for a visit. I’ve seen your name out there in the blogosphere for a while.

    When I read this post, I thought it was me! I often think I’m the only person who sees the world like I do. I even tend more toward A than B. I have a blog but am pretty reserved there too. Although people have told me I seem like a different person on my blog…definitely freer. Oh, the joys of being introverted!

    I’ll be back for a visit. :-)

  62. says

    I'm definitely an introvert but like one-on-ones. I can be extroverted if the situation calls for it but not for long. Pretty soon you'll be looking around wondering where I went. I'm probably in the bathroom hiding & trying to get a minute to just breathe. I crave alone time but also can easily spend time with friends. I'm not a big group person & in fact, did NOT enjoy my wedding reception for that very reason. ;-)

  63. says

    Your description of yourself is me to the tee. I love the idea that you do not have to be shy to be in introvert. One on one or in a small group I am fine but bigger than that am I am quiet. I also have trouble being neighborly.. although I am always very nice to them. Maybe we are afraid if we get too friendly for fear they will invade our personal space where we go to recharge. I have had neighbors like than in the past and it is annoying on every level.

    Like you, I feel much more free to be the real me on my blog.

  64. says

    I can totally relate to your post….I never considered myself as an introvert…I just thought I was shy, but I just recently realized that I am not shy at least that is what my husband says, but until then half of me still believes I am shy. I just feel odd being in large crowds. It is not that I don’t want to engage into to conversations with others…I just have a hard time getting the words out…my mind is running a thousand mph, but I become mute and frozen.

    I really enjoyed reading your post…I heard about you while searching for a good sugar cookie recipe on Bake at 350.

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