Either My Bladder Has Fallen or That was Really Funny

My hubby can say two words and send me into a fit of giggles.

“Brother Davis.”
It’s not so much the words, it’s the way he says it,
In “Sister Lizzie’s” voice.
We met Sister Lizzie during the first two years of our marriage where we worked as Youth Pastors in our first church staff position. 
She was one of the many senior citizens in our church and she loved testimony night. She was married to Charles (we think, it could have been her brother. I’m serious). She would vie for the microphone and once claimed, it wasn’t easily surrendered. 
Two occasions stand out in my memory. She always started off in her unmistakeable voice,
“Brother Davis, I just wanna praise the Lord tonight. I want to thank God because my sister has been stuck in bed at my house. I been trying to help her, but it’s so hard. She’s driving me crazy. I greased up her legs and rubbed them down with Vaseline and she slipped right out of the bed! I just wanna thank the Lord because now she’s in the hospital and she’s out of my house.”
I have to say “Sister Lizzie’s” testimonies were a highlight of our time in that little Arkansas church. And that is saying a lot. It wasn’t an easy job, but every time we saw her reach for the microphone nearly every Sunday night, my new hubby would give me a secret smile. 
You just never knew what she was going to say.
And that’s what made it so good!
“Brother Davis, I just want to thank the Lord. I’ve been so clogged up and constipated. My insides are all wound up. I prayed and I prayed and He heard my pleas. I got diarrhea from the Lord!”
Oh, yes, she did.
And dear Brother Davis nearly broke his neck trying to get the microphone away from here.
The other night my hubby got started in his “Sister Lizzie” voice. He must have known I needed to laugh.
But I should have gone to the bathroom first.
{What makes you laugh? Even when you don’t want to…I won’t ask about your bladder!}

Comments

  1. says

    When my husband looks at me and says, “It’s because of our special bond.”

    Back in the day (i.e. before children who could understand words) I watched Days of Our Lives. He happened to be home one weekday between 1:00 and 2:00. The only part of the show he saw was John giving Marlena the raised eyebrow and breathlessly saying, “It’s because of our special bond.” He had just read Marlena’s mind or something.

    I still can’t believe I used to watch that garbage!!!

  2. Judith says

    Hubs just has to hum “Greensleeves” and I laugh.
    Back when we were first married, the choir director at our church wrote a piece for the choir to sing on Good Friday of the Seven Last Words of Christ. Solemn stuff, except that he set them to a jazzy version of the tune “Greensleeves” (hum “What Child is this” with a polka beat and you’ve got the tune).
    Hubs and I found it hilarious — but manners dictate that you cannot laugh out loud and roll around on the floor at Good Friday worship. At least not at our church!
    Now, all he has to do to crack me up is hum Greensleeves and I’m a goner. (No mention of bladders here)

  3. says

    That is too funny!! I have had 5 kids, so bladder issues… well… you can understand. But that would be so funny!! I would love to hear a testimony like that!! :)

  4. says

    Oh Gosh–that was so funny! I dread testimony night because of the dramatic ones that you can never understand because of the crying (please don’t think I’m awful but you know they are just hogging the limelight!) If we only had a Sister Lizzie to liven things up!

  5. says

    My daughter is my downfall… she can do hilarious imitations of every extended family member including all of their “quirks.” And, somehow she always know how to do one just as I’ve taken a drink of something or need to use the bathroom. Bladders… sheesh.

    Blessings!

  6. says

    Oh Man- I love those people who are good for a laugh. WE had a woman in our church break out in a Mozart song for her testimony!! So off tune!! I couldn’t look at her and a lot of people had to leave b/c they couldn’t control their laughter!!!

  7. says

    Oh how funny!!! My Dad pastors a church (he has pastored my whole life) We had this old lady that used to stand up during prayer requests and ask for prayers for people in her soap opera’s she watched (I think she thought it was real) she would go into great detail so and so got kidnapped we need to pray for her safe return! I would get into so much trouble I would just about die laughing and my Dad would say “Missy come sit on the front row” I would have to get up and move most of the time still laughing!

  8. says

    That’s hilarious!!!
    Without a doubt, my kids are my biggest source of laughter. Both of them say the funniest things. In fact, probably half my blog is built around the funny things they say. My sis-in-law who lives with us (she’s 19) also makes me laugh. If it’s late at night, all we have to do is make eye contact and we’ll both laugh about nothing at all until we’re crying and hurting from the laughter. She’s good for me.

  9. says

    My husband is the official obsessive compulsive in our house, but I take over when it comes to making the bed. I like it the way I like it and that’s it, but my husband thinks it is hilarious to “help” me make the bed. He rearranges everything to purposely irritate my neurosis and I cannot help but laugh, to the point of tears. I start to hyperventilate and I throw myself across the bed to make him stop. I don’t know why this makes me laugh. It should make me mad, but there ya go.

  10. says

    That’s hilarious!! My family and I have secret ‘words’ that we can say to send each other into fits of giggles……also church related! Being part of a pastor’s family isn’t without its rewards, right?!

  11. says

    So funny. I can totally relate, as this is bringing back memories from about 10 years ago. We were attending a small church and every week they would have prayer requests. One week, a girl raised her hand and said her cat was in heat and so they gave the cat Midol and they weren’t sure if the cat was going to be ok. hahahahahahahaha I thought I would fall out of my seat that day. We heard all kinds of crazy requests at that church. The people were pretty country. Nothing wrong with being country, but you never knew what they would say. Oh, and just remembered another. One time a man at that church got up to give a praise report and he was cussing in his praise report. lol He was a new believer and struggling. The Lord’s grace is sufficient for us all.

  12. BlueCastle says

    oh that is hilarious! Just yesterday, my husband had me laughing – hysterically – during church. It was really hard trying to be quiet. I love those moments in marriage. :)

  13. says

    Laughing post kids is always a risk, isn’t it! I love the things that come out of my kids mouths before they think….

    Like this morning, my 6 yr old was looking at our wedding photo and said “That must have been a long time ago because Dad didn’t have a bald spot yet…” (17 years, in case you are wondering….)

  14. says

    Oh my…that’s too funny.

    There’s a woman who’s now famous for her phone call on the Ellen show. Ellen called her and she had the sweetest old lady voice ever and said THE most random things. My favorite “Well…I love Jesus but I drink a little” in her croaky and careful way. Hilarious.

    Now I can’t stop…
    There’s a woman at our church who shouts through the whole sermon. She’s an older lady and is a little…off. All the Praise the Lords would be fine except she says them LOUDLY at the worst of times. Like when the Pastor shared of a long-time member’s death and Helen shouted, “Praise the LOOORD! Preach it!” I always get the giggles.

  15. says

    That is hilarious!! I can’t believe she actually said those things!! HAHAHA!!!

    My hubby does pretty good about keeping me in stitches. I would list them here but no one would get it…hahahahahahaha….

  16. Beth S. says

    My kids make me laugh daily, especially my 5-yr old son. He’s funny because he isn’t even trying to be funny! Instead of saying “excuse me” he says “excuse MEAT!” Cracks us up every time. He doesn’t even know he’s saying it wrong! Hahaha! My little sis and I can get laughing ridiculously hard at any given time…usually over something our Mom says (our poor Mom is so patient with us). Gotta love those moments (except for the bladder)! Love your Sister Lizzie stories…please tell us more!

  17. says

    Oh yes, my husband makes me laugh…usually when I don’t want to.

    I REALLY don’t want to encourage him, because it’s usually not funny to anyone else…except that I can’t help it – he gets me every time!

    Guess that means we are still a perfect match, right?

  18. says

    Ha! If you hadn’t said the name I would be concerned that you were talking about my granny! Seriously!!! Yes, I’m in Arkansas. I’m just relieved you didn’t say “sister Charlene”. Good Lord, I can’t believe there is another one.

  19. says

    MY SISTERS AND I ARE 3 IDIOTS! WE LOVED OUR DAD SOOOO MUCH! HE WAS ADORABLY FUNNY, WHEN HE DIED, WE WERE AT THE FUNERAL HOME GOING DOWN A HALL OF RED FLOCKED WALL PAPER, GOLD ACCENTS, VERY GAUDY… ALL WE COULD DO IS LAUGH AND SAY THINGS LIKE, “DO YOU KNOW WHAT DADDY WOULD THINK OF THIS PLACE?” EVERYTHING REMINDED US OF WHAT DADDY WOULD SAY OR DO HERE AND THERE! AND WE EITHER CRIED OR LAUGHED THE WHOLE TIME LIKE A BUNCH OF NUTTS! I GUESS IT WAS GOOD TO HAVE GREAT MEMORIES OF HIM IN THAT WAY! BUT WHEN YOU MEET A VERY FUNNY PERSON WHO DOESN’T MEAN TO BE FUNNY, IT’S SOMEHOW FUNNIER!
    I JUST THANK THE LORD FOR US HAVING SUCH A DEAR FATHER THAT WAS STILL MAKING US LAUGH EVEN AFTER HE WAS IN HEAVEN! :) :) :)HUMOR IS A GIFT FROM THE LORD!!!

  20. says

    “Did she just have a stroke?”

    Every time – makes me DIE laughing!

    My BFF and I were taking masters courses together . . . we had to leave work early to drive 1 1/2 hours to Denver 3 nights a week. We were known on occasion to grab a beer at the pub before class if we got there early. One of our professors was, ummm, different. She would be talking and talking and then totally change subjects and talk about something totally different. On one particular night, we were at a table with 6 other people in class. She was lecturing and suddently stopped talking mid-sentence . . . we waitied . . . and waited . . . and waited . . . seriously, like 30 seconds, which is a LONG time when there’s not supposed to be a break. T turns to me and whispers (rather loudly) “Did she just have a stroke?” OMG the whole table just LOST it. Professor Judy had no clue . . . she just started talking in the middle of her sentence like nothing had ever happened. The entire table had to leave the room for a break when Judy asked us what was so funny. We STILL laugh our behinds off when we mention that!

  21. says

    Oh my goodness! We know one of these people. Her name is Sue. And, bless her heart, she’s cross-eyed and has a very distinct voice. (Can one person have a dialect?) Anyway, when she wants to ask for prayer for herself or someone she knows, she always starts with my husband’s name. “Sammy…” you just never know what’s gonna follow, but we have had people leave the prayer line in fits of giggles before…even older men. One of the musician’s got the look down and would often look at my husband with crossed eyes while he preached. The first time he did it, he mimicked her voice too and I’m pretty sure my husband nearly had one of those bathroom experiences.

  22. says

    Oh my!

    My hubby can always make me laugh, and its always over something stupid. A few days ago we had an argument going (a playful one – we were laughing the entire time and could barely see cuz we had such tears in our eyes) as to whether someone could get disability payments if they lost a pinkie finger in an accident.

    Yes, its that sort of absolutle stupidity that makes us both double over in laughter and keeps us lovin’ each other! (For the record, I was on the side of missing pinkie NOT being a valid disability. He was FOR it being a disability – his proof? “Can you open a JAR without a pinkie?” My comeback: “WHAT KIND OF JOB REQUIRES THAT YOU OPEN JARS?!?” Him: “A jar tester.”)

  23. says

    My five year old son had me cackling just last night. He can be really silly and know he’s silly but keep a totally straight face. Another thing that gets me every time is when my mom-in-law gets giggling. She literally has to come up for air and even then she just can’t stop laughing and everyone around her can’t help but laugh with her.

  24. says

    Reminds of the lady who leads (and yes, I said leads) the prayer group @ our church…let’s just say sometimes we get details on why she’s mad @ her hubby or kids or how she wanted to kill somebody…I mean confession is good for the soul, but do you have to tell all of us? Sometimes I truly have to turn my head to keep from busting a gut…

  25. says

    I love that. We had a guy like that at our little Arkansas church, too. His name was Everett. You’ve never seen someone get so excited to tell you that somebody had died.

  26. says

    I go to church with PJs til noon. I have never in my life heard so many colon references as when the same lady requests prayer for friends/family. For some reason every single one involves the colon. “They went up one end and down the other testing and found kidney stones. Thank God for Kidney Stones!” No lie, folks.

  27. says

    that is hilarious!!! what makes laugh is my husband doing his special dance to the opening of American Idol. Right after Ryan Seacrest opens up the show with “This is American Idol!” and the music starts, he leaps up from his chair and flies around the room, sometimes cabbage patching, sometimes running manning, sometimes some combination of both (there was a new “giant” move with big stomping feet involved last week). he’s been doing this for years and it makes me piddle with laughter. i think it may have sent me into labor with my first child…

  28. says

    LOL — that is too funny!

    One thing that made me laugh and laugh at a recent church meeting was that one of our priests (he’s only 28) brought in a self-inflating whoopie cushion that my kids and I had left in his office. Every time I tried to talk for a while, he would do it. I couldn’t quit laughing.

  29. says

    We had a sister lizzie in the church I attended as a kid. Her name was alice. She came to church with her sister (both very old). Sometimes she wore her teeth and sometimes she didn’t. She loved the testimony time and it was usually very looong and way too personal. =) Great story!

  30. Anonymous says

    I don’t tell everyone this, but I have inappropriate laughter. I cannot keep from laughing at the most awful moments.. even tho I am not laughing at what is happening. The minute I tell myself I CANNOT laugh, I am lost.

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