On this special day, where we pause to offer thanksgiving, there is one who sums up the words in my heart. If you aren’t already reading Ann VosKamp, A Holy Experience, you must. She is God’s mouthpiece to me on so many mornings. With her permission, I share her thoughts on being thankful. Truly life-changing.
The Real Joy Secret
I wake wanting to die.
Scarlet light bleeds over the horizon, another day aching in. I lie in bed. Pull covers up over my head. I’m withered dry and even the tears won’t fall: a heart drought. I lay listening to taunt of the names: Loser. Mess. Failure. Can I shrivel up invisible?
Mothers of six aren’t supposed to think this way. Not the happily-married, not the financially solvent.
Not the Christ-followers.
A year of mornings, I wake to the name calling, force feet to the floor anyways. I do pray.But self-hatred is a soul-eating disease and I’ve cut off parts off myself to survive.
I look in the mirror, into those eyes, and I know. It’s time for medication, some happiness from The Healer. Is that even a real possibility? My bones are brittle, dryness of the broken spirit; where on earth – in heaven — do I get some of that joy medicine?
I’m standing in the kitchen, a morning in early November, sky weeping too, colors of the world draining away with the rain, when Jesus hands me the word that He stabbed into the slimy underbelly of the enemy.
There’s a good medicine word.
To continue this beautiful poetic road, click here.
To my dearest readers and friends, may God abundantly bless your thankful heart.