He Said/She Said #1

I’m so happy to introduce you to our first He Said/She Said post!

Three times a month, my hubby and I will tackle tough issues and perspectives…me from a woman’s point of view and my hubby from a man’s.

We’re going to go easy today and just introduce each other. [Next week, we’re starting a multi-part series on Lust and Your Marriage]

You guys already know me pretty well, but I thought the best way to tell you about my hubby was for you to read the letter he gave me for my special box on our fifteenth anniversary a couple of weeks ago:

Dear Kristen,

2 young adults

1 college

1 plan – HIS plan

6 months from first date to wedding day

2000 dollars to our name

17 jobs – bank teller/teacher, youth/children’s pastor, sandwich deliverer, nutrisystem, ABQ youth/children’s pastor, church janitor, aventis, youth pastor, tutor, lawn mower, pds flunkie, forest, pds editor, blogger

7 houses – athens, benton, albuquerque, rio rancho, sunrise, sterling ridge, where we live today

9 cars – toyota, isuzu, mazda, villager, rabbit, chevy truck, saturn, volkswagon, pontiac

11 pets – navy, bear, bailey, snoopy, katie, zorro, zoee, alice, marshmallow, ike, sasha

1 adoption attempted

1 child we prayed for

1 child we needed

1 child lost

1 child we wanted

1 family complete

5 kidney stones

10 nieces and nephews

3 trips to national fine arts

4 dinner theaters

6 games of broomball

50,000 rehearsals, lock-ins, plays, prayer meetings, youth rallies, camps, puppet skits

750000 miles logged

2 pastors and 1 jerk

3 million decisions

1000 fights

1000 make ups

10000 kisses

6 trips to Disney

700 garage sales

200 antique stores

30 school programs

1000 car lines

1 horrible confession

1 act of forgiveness

1 cross for my sins

1 wife to woo again

1 broken man

1 marriage transformed by HIM

10,000 prayers

66 books of the bible

19 children’s birthdays

20 + trips to the emergency room

1 iweb program that spawned 1 blogger blog

1500 wake ups in the middle of the night

14 lost teeth

218 sick days

10 million blissful memories

50 hours of video tape

8039 photos snapped

9 visits from santa

1 commitment

1 incredible woman that i fall in love with everyday, over and over. 1 girl to laugh with, to love, to hold to share. 1 God that binds us together and keeps us focused when our vision blurs. 1 amazing life relationship that many yearn to experience. 15 years past.
an class=”Apple-style-span” style=”color:#000066;”>God willing many years to seize and live to the fullest.

I love you,

Your husband.

Amazing, huh? I can still taste the tears I shed from this letter.
You guys are in for a treat! He vlogged his:

Oh, yeah, but I cut him off a little because he started to tell you how I wake him up when I can’t sleep–
Tell us something about your spouse that inspires you in the comments!
Stay tuned for next week: He Said/She Said: Lust and Your Marriage


  1. 1


    Oooh, do I get to be first??!! That's incredible!

    My husband inspires me by being a man of integrity every single day. He absolutely does what he says he will do. His faithfulness to me and to our family inspires and astounds me. He blesses me every day.

    Thanks for this. You are one lucky woman! That letter is such a treasure.

  2. 2


    Oh my word I loved that vlog!! I'm way excited for your He Said/She Said series because It sounds like we've been through some similar problems. I just KNOW this series is going to minister to me in my marriage.

    Praying for God's protection over you as you step out in this, that the Enemy's schemes will be unsuccessful at thwarting what God desires to be done through your ministry! :)

  3. 4


    I think this is wonderful and I'm looking forward to seeing more as you share such personal things with us. I'm sure your honesty will touch many people on the way.

  4. 5


    This is a great idea. I always love learning from other couples about how they improve their marriages and work for each other. Can't wait to hear more.

  5. 6


    My husband inspires me every day by his faithfulness to our Lord, our family, and our well-being. He is a hard-working supportive man. I think he is a better person than me and I just try to be enough to deserve him.

    What a neat thing you both are doing here. . .I too have a passion for marriage and think being able to minister to others authentically like you are hoping to do here will have generational ramifications. We will celebrate our 15 years of marriage this summer (although we knew one another longer than 6 months. . .wow!) I will pray for you and your marriage and, as Mama Bird said, pray protection for you from the Enemy who is only here to steal, kill, and destroy.

  6. 8


    I'm really looking forward to He Said/She Said. Can't wait to feel more of your spirits and introduce you both to my husband. I'll just say here that he is wonderful!

  7. 10


    Hey! I'm in ABQ! I moved here almost 4 years ago from MI when I married my husband who's lived here his entire life. He is an extremely patient and humble person who has overcome much in his life.

  8. 11


    Okay…I have to say that I sooooo relate to your Hubby having to explain his voice multiple times a day! My voice is on the raspy side (used to be worse when I was a bit younger) and I used to have people ask me all the time if I had a cold or whatever! Drove me C-R-A-Z-Y!!! And, to boot, I was a receptionist, answering calls all day long (might explain why I had a raspy voice).

    Also, what an awesome letter to add to your box of treasures! Thanks for sharing it with us and this new adventure you are taking us on. I learn something from you each time I log on and am looking forward to learning even more!

  9. 13


    Amazing… appreciate your (and his) honesty. I think that too often the view that outsiders have of marriages are that 'they must not have problems like we have'. It is good when we can all admit that we are human, that we sin, that we make mistakes… and that we can rise above through his forgiveness.

    Looking forward to the rest of this series.

  10. 14


    I just wanted to thank you for this series that you are starting. As an unmarried woman (looking forward to marriage in a couple of years here) it is a blessing to be able to gather pearls of wisdom beforehand.God bless you and your husband!

  11. 15

    Rita says

    I love my husband (of seven years) because he is great at everything that I'm not good at (and vice versa). Our traits/skills/interests complement each others' perfectly.

    I sympathize with you about being a light sleeper. I don't think a vibrating alarm would work for me, because that would wake me up too! I wish you would do a series on how to sleep straight through the night.

  12. 18


    Great post. I know I will love this series that you guys have planned! Beautiful letter. Hilarious video! Looking forward to this series! Thanks for all you do!

  13. 19


    My husband inspires me by his goodness to others. He will literally give you his LAST shirt off his back. We battle with that sometimes(I think he gives too much of himself sometimes) but then I look and him and love that he is so giving. I wish I were more like him.

    I love this He said/She said and am so looking forward to hearing more and just know that this too will minister to my marriage.

  14. 21


    I'm going to be honest. Reading this series makes me anxious and uncomfortable. My husband and I are going through, recovering from, a season of hurt and distrust. Just the title of next weeks post brings tears to my eyes as it reopens all to fresh wounds. I'm going to read though! I know that only our precious Lord can mend my marriage and strengthen it to what He means for it to be.

    My husband's strong drive to provide for his family inspires me. He works long hours and a tough schedule to be a good provider.

  15. 23


    I'm a new reader~and I love your blog. Just wanted to say that first.

    I love the idea of the He Said/She Said. Very cool, and your husband seems like a great man.

    The thing that I love the most about my husband is the way he calms me down. I tend to get upset over small things, and he is always there to sooth my anxiety. He has talked me through anxiety attacks {I hate small spaces, big crowds and confrontations}, and I am very grateful to him. I love lots of other things, but this one that I mentioned is a biggie!

    God bless!

  16. 24


    Curt,my man of 25 years. I am still crazy about him. And yes, sometimes he drives me CRAZY! I really respect Curt. He is a honorable man with integrity and a deep commitment to our family and the Lord. He is a amazing Provider,Lover and my Best Friend.

  17. 26


    I am so looking forward to this! And that letter? Hope you plan on keeping this guy. Anyone who can write like that is worth putting up with!

    One thing I truly admire about my husband is the respect and love others have for him. A friend has described him as a "go to" guy–someone you go to because you know you can count on him. He is selfless and compassionate and caring. All the things I hope to be when I grow up.

  18. 28


    Yea, I'm very excited for this. I love my husband with everything that I am. He lifts me when I need it. He is my number 1 fan. I love that and I love your blog.

  19. 29


    I don't normally comment but I have been following your blog for a couple of years now.

    I am 26 and my husband and I have been married almost 3 years. We were high school sweethearts and dated for 6.5 years before getting married. After reading your recent post about the sin struggle your husband faced, I determined to ask my husband how he had been doing in this area (knowing that he had struggled when we were dating). That day a bombshell was dropped on me when he confessed to succumbing numerous times during our marriage.

    My husband and I love the Lord and I knew my husband is repentant and desires to submit his life in this area. We have been working through a lot of the aftermath over the last month but I can already see how God is blessing our marriage through being broken (like jacob wrestling with God).

    All that to say, I really wanted to thank you for being open with what God is doing in your life. I am so thankful that you are now going to do this series and I know it is going to be a huge blessing in our lives.

  20. 30


    this is amazing. wow. my husband is such a hard worker. such a good daddy. such an encourager–and he loves me well. it's not perfect, but it's such a blessing. xo

  21. 31


    I, also, share the 6 months from first date to wedding day. And the $2,000 to our names; the money my parents were able to give me for a wedding. Plus, a few others. We've been together over 14 yrs! It's been a wild ride, but I wouldn't want to live it with anyone else.
    My husband is the most giving, self-sacrificing person I know. He's inspired me to give even more. Even when we can't "afford" to give. He has a huge heart, and I love him for it. :)
    That letter would've made me shed lots of tears, too. :) Congrats to you, both, for sticking it out.

  22. 32


    What an awesome series! I'm looking forward to keeping up with the series and being inspired to be a better helpmeet to my hubby. What a beautiful letter he wrote! He really put his heart into it!

    My husband inspires me by standing for what is right, loving me in spite of my faults, and being a godly husband and father. He is presently deployed and stays true to keeping up with reading his Bible and communicating with us everyday.

  23. 33


    My friend sent me your blog. I believe my husband and I haev fought the same sin battles that you all have. I can't wait to see how the Lord uses you all to open up about marriage and the joys and sorrows that come with it.

    If anyone had told me what I would have faced a year and a half ago, I'm not sure that I would have travled this road. But now that I'm on it and am still climing out of a pot hole. I now that the only way is to travel it together, hand in hand with the Lord.

    BTW, my hubby inspires me by the faith he has shown walking with God to "conqure" his sin.

    Can't wait for your further posts.

  24. 35


    I'm so excited for this part of your blog! What a great intro! Something I love about my hubby is that he is my best friend as well as my husband. I think it makes a world of difference in our marriage!

  25. 36


    My husband is more selfless and supportive than I ever could have imagined. He followed me when I was accepted as an officer in the Air Force, moving across the country, and now that we have children, it is my turn to support him as he focuses on his career.

  26. 37


    Your husband must be amazing! Such sweet words.

    My husband inspires me every single day. He's serving our country in Iraq right now, leaving 6 young children at home. I know it must be incredibly difficult for him, because it is so hard for me and I'm not the one in a war zone. Somehow he is doing it with grace, encouraging me when I'm struggling, and keeping a positive attitude when life must seem unbearable at times. I could never do what he is doing.

  27. 38


    just beautiful… I love the way you two love each other and our Lord and how you strive to use your marriage and your lives to bring Him glory!

    now for my hubby… where do I start? He inspires me in so many ways, but this week I'd say he inspires me to be a better mom as I watch him be daddy to our kids.

  28. 39


    My husband inspires me in so many ways. He is a great father, a fabulous provider and a truly loving man. But more than anything else he sacrifices his time, his paycheck, and mostly his life (literally) everyday for you and me. He is a United States Airman. So the next time you are running through your prayer list remember him and all the other men and women who sacrifice for your freedoms everday.

  29. 40


    That was awesome!!!

    And just for the record, I, too, have a LITTLE bit of a raspy voice. Enough for people to always ask me if I have a cold! LOL I have one vlog on my blog if you care to hear, lol.

    Now, on to my hubby.
    I'm really glad you're asking this because I've really needed an outlet to brag on him lately!!
    He is so amazing. We just bought a new dishwasher and he has been keeping up on doing the dishes which has helped me out SO much! Yes, even though it's "my toy", he's enjoying the newness of it, too!
    Not only that, but he's just been a champ about helping out around here, even more so than usual! He becomes this "Super Dad" who can take it all on! Throws the kids in the tub and bathes them when it feels like such a chore to me at times!
    He's an extra hard worker and when he's not working, he's doing something at home or fixing someone else's car. He is such a hard working man, sometimes I don't appreciate him enough for that (sometimes I pout that he's always doing "something"). But I'd rather have him keep getting his hands dirty and busy, then being a couch potato any day!
    Thanks so much for this series. I'm not currently subscribed, but think I will so I don't miss anything :)

  30. 41


    Once I get done crying I might be able to tell you about my hubby! Your hubby appears to be a wonderful man and you are one lucky lady! :)

    My hubby inspires me by being such a hard worker. He will do whatever it takes to make sure that we are provided for financially so that I may stay home and take care of the home and family without having to bring in money for the bills. I don't do nearly as good of a job as he does.

  31. 42


    Thank you for the He Said/She Said post. I really appreciate your new blog idea! Funny you should ask about what inspires me about my husband.

    I'm in a Bible Study group and we're currently working on Beth Moore's, "Believing God" study. The question based on the Reflections of the Third Fifth of My Life (ages 21-30) was "Who had the most profound positive influence on your life during these years and how?"

    The answer is my husband for bringing calm into my adult years and also his financial wisdom (ex. paying off credit cards each month). I am his biggest fan!

  32. 43


    That probably is something that I need to do – look for the good qualities in my husband. Lately I've been seeing too many of the bad.

    First, I have to say that I'm amazed that you didn't comment through that entire video. It takes discipline to just sit and listen.

    My husband is very committed to God, our family, and to our marriage. He is willing to work hard. He tries to do what is right no matter what.

  33. 46


    Wow, I guess there are a few of us in ABQ/Rio Rancho!
    Thanks for posting about marriage – it seems there is always something good to learn from other couple's experiences.

  34. 47


    I loved both; what your husband wrote and the vlog… marriage is seasons… lots of them!
    I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 23 years… lots of ups and downs, but LOVE through out them all.
    Thanks so much for keeping it REAL :)

  35. 48

    Caroline says

    Just wanted to say, I laughed out loud about the dishwasher!! I was so frustrated about the "tips" I'd hear each time that we made a deal… he loads and I unload. If he waits too long then I load it up and he's not allowed to say a word. It's worked out quite well for us!

    I'm excited about the new direction of your blog and look forward to all the new things you have in the works.

  36. 49


    You guys are funny!
    My husband inspires me by faking to sleep at night or by becoming "overwhelmed" as soon as there is bottles to clean…Hahaha I mean come on, it's inspiring me to do the same!!!!! ;-P

    Nah, he's cool, he went from a spoiled 30 year old who never had a job to creative director of a multimedia company in a couple years and is very proud of it, i think he deserves applauses for that. Having kids changes ya!!

  37. 50


    I'm so excited for your He said/She Said series. I loved his letter!

    My husband inspires me because he is a man of integrity and is slow to anger. He is who he is no matter where he is – work, home, church. And he has put up with me and my not-so-slow-to-anger personality for 19 1/2 years. I love him!

  38. 53


    This is such a fantastic idea!! That letter is amazing, what a fantastic thing to do to demonstrate the depth of your marriage. Absolutely amazing.

    My husband looks to bring peace to those around them, wanting to help everyone to achieve their goals without hurting those around them. He inspires me every day with the love he has for me and for our two children.

    Looking forward to this series!

  39. 56


    I loved that vlog! Tell your husband I'm the same way with the dishwasher. I'll go behind everyone and rearrange how they've loaded it because they did it "wrong". :-)

    My husband inspires me every day by being a wonder father and faithful husband. He's such a good provider for us. And he's a man of great faith in the Lord. Who could ask for more?

  40. 57


    My husband is definitely an inspiration because he loves me unconditionally. I know that may sound cliche but it.is.the.truth. He forgives quickly and loves me even when I'm a brat. And, even when I do not have those two qualities down pat [yet]. I think God knew that when we paired us and I know that I am continually learning from his ability to love me through my human-ness. I'm so excited to get to read this series!

  41. 59


    One…well, I had to try my hardest to not SOB at that letter…wow!

    Two…I made you spaghetti & meatballs….I'm sorry! :)

    Three…my husband inspires me with his kindness. He is ALWAYS going out of his way to make MY day/life easier…filling up the gas tank, bringing home a Starbucks, doing the dishes, cleaning out the car. He shows his love for me in a million little ways every day. You know what? I don't do it enough.

    Four…I see you guys hitting the road for a He Said/She Said lecture series. Seriously, you'll be like the Dave Ramsey of marriage! ♥

  42. 60


    That letter was amazing. What a blessing a lifelong commitment is . . . even with heartaches along the way.
    My husband is one of the most generous and selfless people I know. He is accepting of people so readily and non-judgmental. He inspires me to be a more patient and kind person every day. I love him so much!

  43. 62


    Kristen, y'all, this is so so good. Thank you. Your story is ministry, and it's healing.

    One way Seth inspires me is that he genuinely wants me to be happy. He really loves me, and I know it, and it makes me think that he's cute. It's so good when you think your husband is cute.

    Yours is cute, too, by the way. Tell him no more of that old guy talk.

  44. 65


    I just found your series for the first time today! And I am excited to read through your posts!

    This isn't my biggest take-away from it, but I do have to say that I was so excited to hear your husband's voice – I have the same voice – well female version! Since I was a child people would ask me if I have a cold or have been crying – nope just raspy. I actually have acid reflux disease, and my vocal chords have holes in them. Does your husband have this? Anyway – sorry this is sooo off topic, but I was excited!

    Cannot wait to hear what you guys have to say – such a neat series!

  45. 66


    Hi Kristen,
    I've had these starred in my reader to go through when I have a moment (which is rare with littles! LOL).

    I just wanted to say I am looking forward to it and I really enjoy the honesty and realness that radiates from your blog!

  46. 69


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