2010 February — We are THAT Family

My Kids Are Funnier Than Yours

9:00 pm Bykristen

I’m not a bumper sticker kind-of-mom.

But I think I’d put the title of this post on my minivan bumper. Because I’m wild and crazy like that. And also, I have pride.

My kids put the fun in funny.

Just recently:

We were eating pizza at the Sam’s Club cafe (which is a stretch of the word cafe, since there are 4 picnic tables and a soda dispenser), when my toddler noticed two kids at another table sitting by themselves. (Yes, we eat out at Sam’s. This is often a highlight of our week: $9.54 for all five us to eat fresh, hot pizza).

So, she says in the loudest voice possible (she wasn’t shouting, the child just talks LOUD (mental note-schedule hearing test)), “Momma, where are those kid’s parents?” and she points, of course. Just in case anyone was in doubt who the said abandoned children were.

Before I could shush her or even respond, she yells her own answer:

“They are probably dead.”

It’s too bad. Sam’s was the nice restaurant on our list.

[I think she's entered the talking about "death" phase a bit early. Ever since our pet rabbit Marshmallow died, it's been in her vocabulary. The other night it was cold and we decided for the first time to roast marshmallows....she piped up, confused and a little afraid, "But I thought Marshmallow died???" I'll need to remember that story for the family counselor.]

Just thinking about leaving my kids Tuesday for another country, makes me weepy—so, today, I’m pushing those thoughts away and I’m asking you to tell me something funny your kids have said!

Ready. Set. Go.

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Stuff I Want You to Know:

10:00 am Bykristen

Help Haiti Live - Feb 27

You can watch it online at 7:30 PM Central at Help Haiti Live!

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Tickets for The Relevant Conference are going on sale on Monday at midnight! And the first 50 tickets are at a special early-bird rate! I’ll be there…I hope you will be too!

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This Link Deserves It’s Own Post

7:00 am Bykristen

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JR-Dy68VDSs]

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Do Hard Things

7:00 am Bykristen

I grew up watching Little House on the Prairie.

Half Pint was my friend. I cried when Mary went blind and fell in love with Almanzo like the rest of the world.

I didn’t bat an eye watching my TV heroines sleep in a one room cabin, wear their one good “Sunday dress” to every church service, wedding and special occasion. Life was hard on the prairie, days were long, work was consistent, and distractions were few.

I know life isn’t a television show. It’s not divided into 30 minute feel-good segments, all wrapped up with a tidy moral at the end. But there are some wonderful lessons we can all learn, not only from this wholesome show, but from the period in which it was set.

It was a time in our country when children lived under great expectations. There was early childhood and then there was adulthood. Teenagers were often newly married with land and babes of their own, working under tremendous responsibility.

I don’t remember any Little House on the Prairie episodes about “Laura’s challenging tween years” or “How much allowance should Mary get for making her bed?”

Now, I’m personally thankful for modern times and certainly don’t want to go back to the ways of yore (I love the word yore, don’t you?). But in reading Do Hard Things, a book written by two teenage brothers, who have rebelled against the low expectations of today’s culture, it’s pointed out that with money, technology and a shift in work ethic, we’ve made things easy for our kids.

We don’t expect hard things from them.

Instead of expecting greatness, we do something worse, we reward our 10 year old for picking up dirty clothes off the floor and our 7 year old for cleaning his plate. I’m not pointing fingers here, we’ve done it too, but in reading this life-changing book, I realized this has to stop in our home.

My kids don’t need an allowance for being a part of the family. They don’t need a reward for putting away their own laundry (that I usually fold!) They need to be challenged to greatness, pushed away from laziness and mediocrity. Our society expects our kids to do the minimum, filling their minds with low expectations.

We need to expect them to do hard things.

They don’t have to wait until they are out of college to witness of Christ to a friend or turn a certain age to raise money for the poor. They don’t have to expect comfort and ease and be okay with the status quo. They don’t have to be like everyone else.

Doing hard things is, well, it’s hard. It’s gut-wrenchingly hard to share your marriage testimony for the world (and your neighbors) to read. It’s scary-hard to squeeze another $38 out of your budget to rescue a child from poverty. These things are hard, but they are good.

I want my children to know that not only did we expect hard things of them, we did them ourselves.

When I announced I was going to Kenya, I received a comment from a stranger. Another Mom, just trying to make her mark on the world. She and her little girl were touched by a photograph of hungry street children in Kenya gnawing on the leg bone of a cow.

They could have just felt bad, even whispered a prayer. But they did more. They have done something hard. They created a company called Mom and Me Baking, a great little cookie bakeshop that profits the hungry in Kenya. In just the first two months of business, this mom and daughter duo fed 150 African people for a week!!

Are you expecting hard things from your children? Aiding them to make a difference and fanning the flame in their young hearts? (If so, PLEASE tell me all about it in the comments!)

In a few days, I’ll be doing something out of my comfort zone (and also have I mentioned, terrifying for me?) I will be asking you to join me as I travel to Kenya.

I will push you out of your comfort zone as you read along, exposing you to uncomfortable pictures and heartbreaking stories from Africa’s largest slum, a place without electricity or running water. A place where a million people survive and put their own sewage in a plastic bag and throw it out the door. A slum that is littered with thousands of plastic bags–

I’m asking you, today, to open your heart……

to get ready to do something hard. For Him.

[This book is written for teens. But we decided not to wait to share it with our 10 and 7 year old. As we read it aloud, we did so with their age in mind and edited out a few parts.]

I’d love to hear about your choice to do something hard in your life….tell me about it in my community and you’ll be entered to win three dozen cookies from Mom and Me Baking!! (this little giveaway is happening in my Blog Frog Community, not on my blog).

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Happy Birthday Swag Bucks

9:00 am Bykristen

Y’all know I’m a big fan (BIG FAN!) of the Swag Bucks program. I’ve been amazed at how many Swag Bucks I’ve earned by simply having readers (and real life friends, family) sign up under my referral code.

Let’s just say I have enough to buy a new house.

Kidding. Just thought I’d soften the blow before I tell you that I have enough Swag Bucks to pay for Christmas 2010. Seriously.

Swag Bucks is celebrating their birthday today and the launch of Swag Bucks 3.0 and they are hoping those of you who have been holding out will join in by entering this special code: THATFAMILY

Click right here to sign up and enter the code.

The code below will be active from Feb 25th starting at 6am (PST) and will extend to Thursday March 4th at 6am. The code is case sensitive. This is only available for new registrants.

Instead of earning the normal three Swag Bucks, you’ll earn SIX.

Just like that!

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He Said/She Said (7): Warning Signs

7:00 am Bykristen

Thank you for joining us in this very heavy topic for the last two months. It hasn’t been easy for us to write it or for you to read it. As we begin to wrap it up in the next few weeks, it’s our prayer that in the least, this series will open up some good discussion with you and your spouse.

He Said/She Said (1): Intro

He Said/She Said (2): Lust and Marriage

He Said/She Said (3): Confessions

He Said/She Said (4): Prayer

He Said/She Said (5): Resources

He Said/She Said (6): Healing

She Said:

I’m going to be perfectly candid with you, I didn’t recognize the warning signs of lust and pornography that bound my hubby off and on in the first ten years of our marriage. I didn’t think my hubby was capable of being so terribly human. I thought we were above such a disgusting sin. I was wrong.

Looking back and knowing what I know now, there were some red flags. The last four years of our marriage, the transformation and deep level of intimacy we’ve experienced is proof enough. Sure, we had moments in those first years of marriage, but we didn’t live in the profound place of knowing each other in the soul’s lowest and highest moments, as we do now.

Once, I remember standing in the store watching my hubby’s eyes follow another woman. I remember being hurt and even making an accusation and picking a fight right there in the store. I clearly showed my hubby that I was furious with him and had a complete lack of understanding of man’s most natural temptation. I’m sure he buried his secret even deeper that day.

Whether or not you’ve walked this road, I want to encourage you in one thing: Don’t be afraid to ask your spouse if he struggles with lust, especially if you are suspicious. Suspicion only damages your relationship. Keep the line of communication open.

If your spouse is open with you, that is a good sign. If they are defensive or angry, you need to talk it out.

I gave my hubby an iPhone for our anniversary, his first phone that easily accessed the Internet. I wasn’t worried about him giving into temptation. I truly trusted him. But then we started this series and in order to answer and empathize with heart-wrenching emails and even phone calls, I had to go back to four years ago and to the place where my heart was broken in two.

I woke up one day and I just felt insecure. Rather than build a case against my husband or make a false accusation or hurt him, I simply asked my hubby if he would put a safety program on his phone.

He did so immediately and without hesitation. He said, “I want to do everything I can to be accountable and to make you feel secure.” And then he thanked me for suggesting it.

This man has been free for four long years. He wasn’t defensive, critical or even irritated. He was thankful. And that says it all.

He Said: DISCLAIMER: This “He Said” is mostly for women. I want to caution everyone about the intentions of this particular vlog. I do not advocate that wives or girlfriends go snooping around trying to “catch” your husband or boyfriend doing something wrong. If you are partnered with a Godly man just set down and have an honest conversation with them about lust and pornography and your concerns. Your goal is to have the most intimate, honest relationship possible. The “warning” signs that I talk about are for marriages where there may be a trust issue, or your significant other has been unfaithful in the past, or is unwilling to open up about this topic. I also want you to know that my heart is for you to have an incredible, intimate, Godly marriage!

Click here to watch.

We will be resume with the last post in this series week after next, Rebuilding Trust.

P.S. My hubby has lost TWENTY pounds since his first vlog! Just wanted to brag on him.

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WFMW: Traveling Without My Family

7:00 am Bykristen

Please mark your calendars for the temporary move of WFMW for the next two week’s (March 3 & 10) . While I’m in Kenya with Compassion Bloggers, Shannon of Rocks in My Dryer, will be welcoming you all back to her place as she hosts WFMW for two weeks! There will NOT be a special theme for March 3, link any tip you’d like!

As most of you know, I’m heading to Africa in six days (or 126 hours, 14 minutes, 9 seconds to be exact).

Not that I’m a nervous counter or anything.

I’m nervous about the 30-something hours I’ll be spending in airports and airplanes. I’m a bit worried my queasy stomach will rebel with all the unaccustomed smells and travel. Not to mention, seeing the unfathomable hardships of a third world country will surely change me forever.

But spending 10 days away from my hubby and kids is what I’m preparing for today. That’s a long time. I know I will be extremely busy and with the time change on different continents and all, it might make daily contact with my loves difficult.

So. In order to help them not miss me as much (read between the lines–me missing them like crazy), I have done some pre-trip preparation to stay connected. Whether you travel for a weekend or a month, being away from your kids can tough, so I hope these tips help you sometime:

I have small journals for my two older kids. I’ve written them a note and tucked away pictures for each day that I’m gone. I’ve included little memories, scripture, and even jokes. I also tucked a $5 bill in the back, so their Dad can take them for a treat.
For my toddler, I bought a book at Hallmark called “All the Ways I Love You.” It’s a recordable storybook with my voice reading to her. There’s even space to record a little love message.
My hubby is completely capable, but just to ease his burden, I’m leaving him with a stocked pantry and some pre-made meals in the freezer. Since he’ll be juggling all my duties plus his own with the help of his mother and mine, I’ve left detailed instructions for each day.
I also have a family gift for my kids and hubby to open halfway thru my trip (some fun music, books).
Skype-While I was a Blissdom, I found an empty hallway and tested Skype out with my family. I think this little bit of technology is going to make a huge difference!

Do you have any ideas to add to this list? I’d love to read them!Thank you for joining me for WFMW! {You can read the guidelines here.}Have a Works-For-Me Wednesday tip you’d like to share? I’d love for you to join us!

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Bel Kai Designs {Giveaway}

7:00 am Bykristen

*UPDATED with Winner* Thanks everyone for entering! Congrats to random winner Celeste!

Just when I think I’ve seen a sampling of all the beautiful jewelry out there, I find a place like Bel Kai Designs.

I love this unique, personalized jewelry. It’s meaningful and elegant. Just look:

Bel Kai Designs sent me the Spring Cluster Necklace to review. It’s absolutely lovely! I’m wearing it today in utter protest of the forecasted snow in my part of the deep South:

Image of Spring Cluster Necklace

Go visit and tell me your favorite! Bel Kai Designs is offering one lucky reader a $50 gift certificate!

This giveaway will end on Thursday.

Bel Kai Designs is supporting Compassion International with this giveaway.

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Bedtime Theater Winner #1

7:24 pm Bykristen

I love giving away fun stuff! If you don’t see your name below….stay tuned…..

Because I’m giving away TWO MORE of these amazing gift packages from Goodnight’s Bedtime Theater valued at $175 in the next couple of months!

Congrats to Michelle of I Don’t Believe in Grammar!!!

Make sure you check out the Bedtime Theater Iggy’s Next Adventure contest! Help write the next chapter in Iggy’s great adventure and you could win a $2500 trip for your own family adventure!

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How [NOT] to Kill a Bug

7:00 am Bykristen

I am not scared of bugs.

I am also not a fan.

I don’t harbor ill will towards the multi-legged creatures, I just don’t want to live with them.

My problem is not in the killing of a bug, it’s in the crunch. I simply cannot stand to hear (or feel) the crunching under my shoe. It makes me shudder. [Shuddering now just typing the word].

So. On Saturday, my hubby went across town to pick up our camera from a repair shop and that’s when the biggest, baddest, CRUNCHIEST water bug decided to come out of hiding. I’m not kidding, it was the size of mouse.

In moments like these, my seven year old son likes to be the man of the house. I called him in to do the job and when he saw the massive creature, he started screaming like a girl. And I know girl screams.

My toddler and oldest daughter joined in (the screaming), while I randomly yelled and waved my arms around, “kill it! kill it!”

The man of the house grabbed the broom and whacked it a few times. I think the bug liked it and said “a little to the left.” Every time it moved, more screaming ensued.

It ran under the washing machine and I grabbed my camera because such Saturday entertainment must be digitally recorded.

Here’s the trap my kids set up:

According to my kids: The broom was placed to block the way of said giant bug. It could also be used to sweep it into Abe Lincoln’s top hat. My toddler went and got Febreeze from the kitchen which she deemed “bug spray.” I tried to convince them to get shoes on to crunch it, but they take after their mother [shudder].

So, they waited.

Here’s what I captured when the bug came out:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVt374ZgUlE]

Oh, and my toddler got so excited she aimed the Febreeze and squirted herself right in the eye. Maybe her mother should put down the Flip video camera.

Of course, the bug ran back under the washing machine and is still mocking us……

And probably waiting for it’s next surprise appearance when my hubby leaves for work in the morning.

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Filed UnderThose kids, Uncategorized 96 Comments

12:01 am Bykristen

I Don’t Want My Children to Be Happy- Every parent needs to read this.

This baby needs a MIRACLE-will you stop what you’re doing and pray for her today?

Quest for Compassion-this is such a great online game for kids that teaches them about global poverty and how to have a compassionate heart for the poor. My kids fight for a turn to play!

Pick a Brick Lego Necklaces-my kid’s Etsy shop

The necklace that everyone asks me about

Women at Risk- eye-opening information on women in the US being trafficked.

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DIFO Project #3 World’s Largest NERF Party

7:00 am Bykristen

(DIFO Project #2 is still going on, there is still time to cut out shapes with your kids for African Sunday School classes! This needs to be sent to me by the end of February).

I am thrilled to be a part of next month’s (March) do-it-for-others project! Several months ago, I received an email from a mom. She had stumbled upon an old post about my son’s Nerf birthday party.

She was in the early stages of planning a party of her own, but not a birthday party. I learned that her 7 year old son, Mason, had been fighting cancer since he was 2 years old, five long years. He is just finishing his last round of oral chemotherapy and he wanted to celebrate this huge accomplishment with his family, friends and town. (You can read this beautiful post by Mason’s mother to learn more about this amazing boy).

His dream is to have The World’s Largest Nerf party. Mason’s mom asked me if I had any ideas. Why, yes, yes, I do. Because I know some amazing people, my blog readers love doing stuff for others!

Thru the power of Twitter, I found a Nerf representative and she hooked them up for their local Nerf party on March 20:

Mason’s mom has worked so hard on making the local party a success. But in order to make it THE WORLD’S LARGEST PARTY, we need YOUR help.

On Friday, March 19, I’m going to be hosting a linky party in Mighty Mason’s honor for you to link up pictures/post about your own family/friends NERF PARTY. You can just include your own family or get friends and neighbors to join you in a battle.

Not only will you help make one special little boy’s DREAM come true, all the participants in the MARCH 19th LINKY will be entered to win some VERY COOL Nerf products!

This can be as simple as a Nerf battle between your kids or a big party for the neighborhood!

(Ages 8 years & up/Approximate Retail Price: $39.99/Available: Fall 09)

Gear up and go with the new NERF DART TAG FURYFIRE 2-Player Set. Complete with two new rapid-fire FURYFIRE blasters featuring auto-advance barrels that hold ten darts, two redesigned scoring vests, two sets of VISION GEAR eyewear and 20 DART TAG DARTS, the NERF DART TAG FURYFIRE 2-Player Set inspires engaging, energetic team play.

NERF DART TAG CAPTURE THE FLAG Set

(Ages 8 years & up/Approximate Retail Price: $34.99/Available: Fall 09)

You’ll have to use your stealth and speed to win NERF’s adrenaline-pumping twist on capture the flag. Complete with two redesigned scoring vests, two STORMFIRE blasters, six DART TAG DARTS and a new Electronic Flag, the NERF DART TAG CAPTURE THE FLAG Set offers an advanced way to enjoy classic DART TAG action.

If you don’t have a blog, I’d still love for you to participate! Just email me a picture of your party and I’ll post it on my blog!

You can also send Mason a Congratulations card to this address:

Mighty Mason

7334 S Shawnee St

Aurora, CO 80016

Let’s unite on March 19th RIGHT HERE for a Nerf Linky party to make this a very special event for Mason!

Please leave a comment if you’ll be able to take a few pictures/write a post to link up/ to help Mason celebrate.

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Encouraging Our Children to Face Fear {Giant Giveaway}

1:00 pm Bykristen

I’m not sure if it’s genetic or some parental accident, but both my older kids (and I expect my preschooler to follow) have gone through separation anxiety.

And I’m not just talking about the kind that babies experience when Mommy tries to drop them off at the church nursery. Because there’s that. But also a season of extreme fear-fear of being left (like while I’m at the mailbox in the front yard), being forgotten (accidentally leaving them somewhere), or just simply never coming back.

I like to think they just really like us.

But I know this fear is very real, nearly paralyzing. As a parent, I cannot imagine doing any of the above. I’ve assured, convinced, promised and reminded. For my oldest, this terrible time was healed with the exchange of special necklaces-two halves that equaled a whole. Whenever we were going to be apart, we would both wear them. My girl would touch her necklace and instantly be reminded that it was a promise. I would return.

Although my son is in the middle of this season, he is facing his fear head on. He knows with his head that we will be there and he’s learning it with his heart. He is being very brave and even wants to go to summer church camp. He’s tackling his fears.

I’m so proud of my children. They are learning to conquer their fears, one at a time.

This is one of life’s difficult lessons. There are so many on the road to growing up. I’d like to introduce you to a new resource that is there to help during those bumpy times: Bedtime Theater.

Tell me something your kids (or you) are trying to overcome (or have) and you’ll be entered to win this:

2GB Silver iPod Shuffle
Logitech Speakers
$25 iTunes Gift Card
Brookstone Cuddle Blanket
Patagonia Bag

A prize package worth approximately $175

Click here to read more about Bedtime Theater Iggy’s Next Adventure contest! Help write the next chapter in Iggy’s great adventure and you could win a $2500 trip for your own family adventure!

Goodnights offers trusted resources including the NightLite Panel discussion boards and information.

Disclaimer: I have partnered with GoodNites®Sleep Pants for the Bedtime Theater program. I have been compensated for my time commitment to the program, which includes developing the Iggy’s Next Adventure story, sharing the program information with my readers, tweeting my blog entry and judging the Iggy’s Next Adventure contest entries. However, my opinions are entirely my own and I have not been paid to publish positive sentiments towards the GoodNites® products.

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He Said/She Said (6): To Every Woman Who Walks This Road

7:00 am Bykristen

He Said/She Said (1): Intro

He Said/She Said (2): Lust and Marriage

He Said/She Said (3): Confessions

He Said/She Said (4): Prayer

He Said/She Said (5): Resources

She Said:

Four years ago: During random arguments in the first ten years of marriage, whenever my hubby would toss out “maybe we should go to marriage counseling,” it would make me furious! We argued over silly things, just like everyone else. I hated the thought of going to a professional, especially since we were pastors and people came to us!

It’s called pride, in case you were wondering. And I had it bad. Little did I know that his desire for marital counseling was one of many cries for help from my spouse.

The morning after his confession, I was desperate for a counselor. Our marriage was a disaster, I was a hysterical mess and my hubby was racked with guilt (he did feel better about confessing, but I picked up the giant load he laid down and put it on my back).

I’ll never forget our first session. I was there so the counselor could fix my husband. He listened to my hubby tell his story, while I sat on the couch, wearing my mask of grief, hot, silent tears soaking my hands and lap.

I wanted to bury my head. I’ve never experienced more shame and embarrassment than in that first session, listening to my husband, the love of my life, vocalize his sin struggle with a stranger. Beside humiliation, I felt something worse: guilt.

He gave my hubby some practical tips in “bouncing his eyes” and building a house to put all the harmful images in (see last week’s vlog).

And then he turned to me. I couldn’t even speak. He waited and waited. He leaned in, put his hand on my arm, “tell me” he coaxed.

The raw pain of the last few days poured out of me. I sputtered and hiccuped and blew snot bubbles. I spoke of my ignorance, my shame, of guilt and regret. I spoke of love for the man, weeping silently beside me, of hope and healing and freedom. I dreamed of a future.

I’ll never forget what he said to me, “Your husband is a good man. He just needs tools to fight this enemy. He has just scratched the surface of this dark vast world. He will be victorious. He has sinned, but he is forgiven. But now, I want to talk about you.”

I remember thinking, “What, me? No, please help him, please, we can’t leave without you fixing him….”

He touched my chin, like my father would do and looked deeply into my eyes, “Kristen, this is not your fault. You are not responsible.”

I sobbed. “But I’m so naive…I could have helped him.”

“You are exactly what God created you to be: beautifully naive, unscarred by the filth of the world, innocent, pure. Do not apologize for this. Can you help your husband? Yes, you can. But first, you have to stop blaming yourself.”

I can’t tell you how this helped me. I couldn’t possibly help my husband until I stopped blaming myself. Next week…how you can help your spouse.

He Said:

Click here to watch.

Thank y’all so much for your outpouring of love and support to my hubby and I . We are strengthened by your emails, comments and love. Please keep praying for marriages that are struggling.

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WFMW: Tips for Raising Strong-Willed Children

7:00 am Bykristen

Please mark your calendars for the March 3 & 10 temporary move of WFMW. While I’m in Kenya with Compassion Bloggers, Shannon of Rocks in My Dryer will be welcoming you all back to her place as she hosts WFMW for two weeks! There will NOT be a special theme for March 3, link any tip you’d like!

I think God must really love me.

Because He gave me not one, but two strong-willed children to cherish and raise.

(Not sure if your child is strong-willed? Take this quick learning test).

Having determined won’t-take-no-for-an-answer children is a blessing. You know those leaders in your life that you admire, or the amazing strong friend you respect and turn to in crisis? Odds are, they were strong-willed children too.

But sometimes even blessings can be complicated.

Here are some tips that are working (mostly) for us from various resources such as The Strong-Willed Child by James Dobson and this helpful article from Christianity Today:

1. Add the word “ok?” at the end of a request. So, instead of saying “Go clean your room!”, Say, “Go clean your room, ok?”

Wow, this has made an enormous difference for us. Strong-willed kids like to have control. And even though your request is non-negotiable, it is heard as a choice. If they say, “but I’m thirsty,” respond with, “Get a drink and then clean your room. Ok?”

2. Rephrase your requests. If your child needs to make their bed. Instead of saying “Go make your bed!” Ask “Have you made your bed yet?”

3. Don’t yell or nag. (The good Lord knows, I’m working on this one.)

4. Have a keyword. I’ll be honest, sometimes our discussions get out-of-hand with our oldest. She is a strong beautiful girl, but she knows what she wants and sometimes it’s much different that what I want. Instead of battling head-on in that heated moment, we’re trying out a keyword. Whenever I say “dolphin” it’s time to step away. She can go to her room and we can talk about the subject later. (I haven’t used this yet, but we do have a keyword. I thought about picking a fight to try it, but thought better of it).

5. This is the most important: Choose your relationship over getting your way. God really spoke to me about this. Sometimes I’m so determined to see obedience (over small things) that I harp and nag and hurt my relationship. I’m learning to offer grace, just like God offers me.

Thank you for joining me for WFMW! {You can read the guidelines here.}

Have a Works-For-Me Wednesday tip you’d like to share? I’d love for you to join us! Please note that the links will close on Thursday, in order to keep away the spammers!
Was your link deleted? Click here.

(This post appeared in my January edition of The Family Room (my parenting newsletter).

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My Valentine’s Gift (Announcement)

7:00 am Bykristen

I think I’ve made it clear that I’m married to an amazing guy. Not only is he the bravest man I know, he’s a quiet artist. He delights our kids with his unbelievable Play-Doh sculptures and pencil portraits and occasionally keeps himself awake in church sketching our pastor. (I never said he was perfect).

He has an eye for color and loves making things with his hands.

With a bit of copper, a dab of silver and more love than I deserve, he made this necklace for me for Valentine’s Day–a big surprise:

The word Upendo in Swahili means love.

He made this sculpted African copper necklace in honor of my upcoming trip to Kenya.

We also hope in the future to sell these gorgeous handcrafted necklaces to help pay for…….

our future adoption.

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Things I Say in A Day

7:00 am Bykristen

It feels weird to hear my mother’s words coming out of my own mouth.

I think they call it payback. (This might make my mother very happy).

There called Momisms, you know, things moms say.

And these are just a few of the things I say in a day:

Don’t make me come up there (my children’s rooms are upstairs, while mine is down and although I like to pretend they are clean, I randomly yell this up the stairs. The sound I hear is similar to a small herd of elephants).

Because I’m your mother that’s why (well, I am).

This is why we can’t have nice things (it’s a surprise to get thru a day without hearing glass shatter in my house. Yet, I’m still shocked when things break. Clearly, I am slow.)

Be careful or you’ll put an eye out (considering we spent the morning of my son’s 7th birthday at the ER because he poked a remote control antenna into his eyeball, I think I’m allowed to use this expression without judgement).

There are dozens and dozens of momisms. I get them all, have said most of them and meant every word.

But there are other things I say on a regular basis that should probably be added to The Official List:

“Do not spit.”

“Why are you naked?”

“No, you can’t play a game on my iPhone”

“We do not spit.”

“Please don’t bark like a dog in my ear.”

“Take the fight outside. Don’t come back in unless you can get along or you’re bleeding.”

“If you spit again…”

What do you say everyday?

p.s. I’m giving away FIVE $5 Dollar Dinner Mom’s Cookbooks! Make sure you enter, it ends tomorrow!

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I Love Love

12:01 am Bykristen

My niece tucked the toddler into bed and the rest of us snuck away on a double date to the elementary school dance.

Most favorite moments:

My hubby had a surprise gift planned for each of us: wedgies.

Man, I’m blessed.

Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all.

xoxo

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Go spread some love and be a part of something good: Help Haiti Live, a benefit concert for earthquake relief sponsored by Compassion in two locations: Los Angeles and Nashville on Feb. 27. You must go see the list of performers!

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12:01 am Bykristen

An amazing birth story- one of the most beautiful things I’ve read (Honest, powerful)

Vote for Bake at 350′s cake- my neighbor is a supah-stah! Please vote for Take a Bow!

Create a Family Tree on a the wall-love this!

Tater Tots & Jello-my new favorite craft blog. Wow.

Send a card of encouragement- to a precious baby with a malignant brain tumor

Don’t forget to enter to win a $5 Dollar Dinner Cookbook-I’m giving away FIVE this weekend!

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$5 Dollar Dinners Cookbook {Giveaway}

3:00 pm Bykristen

**UPDATED with WINNERS**

Congrats to Mel of Mel’s Coffee Break, Lori of Building our Nest, Rose of Adventures in Savings, Sarah of Tired Mommy Tales and Andrea of Moody Mama Says!

$5 won’t buy one meal at a fast food restaurant, much less feed a family.

(It will buy 3.5 cups of sweet tea. Just sayin’).

I think that’s why Erin’s blog and book, The $5 Dollar Moms Cookbook is so amazing.She sent me a copy and I’ve been cooking out of it for weeks. Not only are the meals easy and g00d, THEY ARE CHEAP. Come to think of it, those are my three favorite requirements in life, too (easy, good and cheap!)

Not only are the hundreds of recipes, there were awesome grocery shopping, coupon-using, and bulk-buying tips. This is truly a great kitchen resource!

Cookbookcover The $5 Dinner Mom Cookbook

Here’s one of her recipes I love:

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Ingredients 1/4 cup olive oil ($.40) 1/2 tsp salt and pepper, each 3 large garlic cloves, crushed ($.15) 1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved (from the garden) Handful of green beans, cut in tiny pieces (from the garden) Handful of basil (from the garden) 1 lb. angel hair pasta ($.82) On sale last week…although we only about about 1/2 of the pasta…saved the rest for lunch tomorrow! 2 split breast chickens, deboned ($2.55) Bought for $1.89/lb with $1 off coupon! 2 tsp olive oil ($.05) Salt/Pepper 2 broccoli heads ($.79)

1. In large skillet, add 1/4 cup olive oil salt, pepper, crushed garlic, halved cherry tomatoes, itty bitty green beans, and chopped basil. Saute over medium heat for 8-10 minutes, or until skins start to peel away from tomatoes. 2. In large saucepan, cook angel hair pasta according to package instructions, while veggies are sizzling! Drain. Add to skillet with vegetables. (I only used about half of the pasta…half filled up my largest skillet…and we were still stuffed!) 3. Cut chicken breasts portion from the bones of the split chicken breasts, and cut into 1/2 inch wide strips. Save bones and use to make stock…soup season isn’t too far off! Saute in 2 tsp olive oil with salt and pepper for 6-8 minutes, or until chicken is no longer pink in the middle. Mix in with the pasta and veggies or serve on the side. 4. Steam broccoli in stovetop steamer or in the microwave, covered with plastic wrap. 5. Serve Angel Hair with Cherry Tomatoes, Chicken with Steamed Broccoli.

Cost $4.76

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I had the privilege of being on a panel with Erin at Blissdom last weekend. She is genuine and sweet and a Mom just like most of us.

Today, she’s giving away FIVE of her $5 Dinner Cookbooks!!

Please visit her site, check out her book and leave a comment if you’d like to win!

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He Wants More Than Love

12:01 am Bykristen

“Is it true?” I asked in a hushed whisper?

He nodded his head yes.

I closed my eyes and tried to wrap my brain around this thought: My husband wants respect more than love.

We were on a long drive, the kids busy in the backseat, he and I, listening into shared ear buds, a book on CD.

He turned the words off and turned to me. “I know you love me, but I don’t always know you respect me.”

His words were gentle, his eyes warm. His beseeching, a sweet hug. But the words-they were like a knife. They cut deep because they were true.

[Continue reading my revelation over at (in)Courage]

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He Said/She Said (5): Resources

7:00 am Bykristen

He Said/She Said (1): Intro

He Said/She Said (2): Lust and Marriage

He Said/She Said (3): Confessions

He Said/She Said (4): Prayer

She Said:

Just hours after my hubby’s confession, I knew he needed help. We needed help. We had each other. We had God, but we were desperate for tools to fight the sin of pornography.

I watched my best friend break into two as he described the years he’d silently fought for victory, counting off the days he’d remained pure with scratch marks in a secret notebook, only to rip out the page and start over when he failed. Again and again.

We immediately found a counselor who dealt with these issues through Focus on the Family’s site. We had to pay out-of-network fees, but we were desperate and money seemed so unimportant. This was our marriage!

We bought every book resource we could find (there were only about 4 or 5 at the time). I threw out every People magazine and catalog in the house because I learned even advertisements can trip a man up. I bought Internet safety software, turned the TV off and we focused our lives on conquering this. The counselor taught my hubby what to do with the images already burned into his mind (video below) and then he spent hours counseling me (I’ll share in a later post how he helped me).

It was God’s grace and practical tools that helped my hubby walk in complete freedom and helped heal the deep wound in my heart. For weeks now, we’ve been answering countless emails and doing our best. But the bottom line is -we aren’t counselors…but we want nothing more than to lead you to some powerful tools.

He Said:

Click here to watch video.

Resources:

The Damage of Pornography:

The Stages of Pornography (article)

Pornography Lies (article)

Porn Nation(book)

Please read the first comment on this post by The Diaper Diaries from someone in the porn industry.

I Need Freedom from Pornography:

SexAddict.com (TONS of resources-excellent site)

Focus on the Family

Breaking Free From The Trap of Pornography (article)

Women needing freedom from porn (articles)

Porn to Purity

Freedom Everyday

For Him (books):

Every Man’s Battle

Sex, Men and God: A Godly Man’s Roadmap to Sexual Success

The Game Plan: The Men’s 30-Day Strategy for Attaining Sexual Integrity

Think Before You Look

The Dirty Little Secret: Uncovering the Truth Behind Porn

When Good Men Are Tempted

For Her (books):

Every Woman’s Battle(book)
For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men (book)
I Surrender All: Rebuilding a Marriage Broken by Pornography (book)

When the Other Woman is Online

Helping Your Hubby (article)

Partners: Healing From His Addiction (book)

Help for Wives of Sex Addicts

Support Group for Women-who husbands struggle with pornography

Marriage:

Pure Intimacy-websites/resources from Focus on the Family

When Should I Leave? (article)

How do I handle his/her Denial or Refusal to Get Help? (article)

My Wife has a CyberSex Problem (articles)

Your Marriage & Pornography-Christian author Sheila Wray Gregoire has several good articles

Children and Teens:

Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle(book)
Every Young Man’s Battle (book)

Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman’s Battle(book)

Every Young Woman’s Battle (book)

What to do if your Child Views Pornography (articles)

Prevent the Sexualization of Your Daughter (article)

When Children View Pornography (article)

Setting Captives Free

Counseling:

Database of counselors (zip code) recommended by Focus on the Family

Heart to Heart-counseling

Social Networking Safety Resources for your computers/phones:

YouDiligence™

Bsecure™ Family Protection
Free Bsecure Mobile™ iPhone & iPod Touch Internet Filtering
Covenant Eyes® Accountability and Filtering
Safe Eyes® Internet Parental Control
Safe Eyes Mobile™ iPhone & iPod Touch Internet Filtering
ClearPlay®
Mpower
TiVo® KidZone
Family Values Cinema

If we left out a good resource, would you let us know so we can add it to this post? Also, feel free to ask questions any time.

(disclaimer: many of the books listed are Amazon affiliate links)

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Filed UnderHe Said She Said, Uncategorized 43 Comments

Winners & Such

8:17 pm Bykristen

*Shey*[b] winners are Aunt Honey’s World and Austin Antics!! Congrats!

If you didn’t win and would like to stop camera strap nudity in its tracks, *Shey* [b] is offering my readers a 10% discount! Just enter the code THATFAMILY.

Also, I’ve been enjoying the conversations in my BlogFrog Community lately. I decided to giveaway some Integrity Music and announced the 8 random winners here.

I’ve got some more great stuff to giveaway, so participate! (But not because you want stuff. Mr. Random Number Generator can sniff out a bad motive every time).

Signup for my newsletter!

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WFMW: Eggshell Tip

7:00 am Bykristen

I’m not exactly known ’round these parts for being a baker extraordinaire.

Shocking, I know.

I do have a reputation with a certain neighbor for loving cookies and paying my children IN CASH MONEY for their Star Wars-shaped cookie treat, but that doesn’t exactly count.

I come from fine cooking stock. My mom is a mean cake-baker. And my mother-in-law lives in the country without Internet or a WalMart and fills her day cooking, gardening and baking. So, you could say she’s an expert.

On our last visit, I was fumbling my way around her kitchen (I usually just set the table and help clean up), and my daughter begged to crack the eggs. She did great on the first two, but before I could brag, the third egg was not as fortunate. We both looked into the batter and gulped at all the tiny white eggshell pieces.

I started telling a story (which I do in moments like these, a gene passed along from my father) about how I spent 25 minutes once fishing for one tiny bit of shell.

My mother-in-law took a piece from my daughter’s hand and gently placed it in the batter, near the loose eggshell pieces and they were magically drawn to the piece in her hand. “I’m not sure why, but the small pieces are drawn, almost magnetically to the large piece,” she explained as she picked up every piece in about 20 seconds flat.

I totally knew that little trick.

I just forgot.

(I also dashed to my purse and WROTE THAT LITTLE FACT DOWN. For you, of course).

Thank you for joining me for WFMW! {You can read the guidelines here.}

Have a Works-For-Me Wednesday tip you’d like to share? I’d love for you to join us! Please note that the links will close on Thursday, in order to keep away the spammers!

Was your link deleted? Click here.

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Get your free Mcklinky here…

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Shey[B] Custom Camera Straps {Giveaway}

7:00 am Bykristen

I gave my hubby a Nikon D50 three years ago for Christmas.

It’s really his camera. Really.

But I’m sort of the camera manager.

*Shey*[B] sent me a beautiful custom camera strap to review. “It matches my office!” I exclaimed as I slipped the strap on.

And that’s how you become the secondhand owner of a Nikon D50.

It’s so girly and feminine and I take much better pictures (!) with it.

My hubby taking a picture of me, taking a picture:

She sent me The Valentine:

I also love the…..

Image of French Girlie VERY LIMITED EDITION

For $5, you can add a pocket for your lens cap or buy one one these so your man can use his camera:

*Shey*[B] is offering TWO $25 gift certificates today!

Tell me what you like and you’ll be entered to win.

This giveaway ends soon.

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Every Winter Needs a Craft Center

6:59 am Bykristen

For my last Campbell’s post, I’ve been thinking about God and art.

(This ain’t Theology 101, just me and my thoughts).

I think God gives each child a creative spirit.

My kids love to create. They don’t need fancy art sets or drawing tables. Give them a papersack, an egg carton and pipe cleaner and they will create a dinosaur robot, a silly caterpillar or both.

During this winter activity series, one word continued to show up in the comments: crafts.

Imaginations soar with an encouraged creative outlet and what better way to pass those long endless winter days, then with a project?

We’ve always had a small spot for markers, paints and paper (and it’s usually a giant mess!) I decided to clean out my old antique hutch that I moved out of my dining room, put dishes away that I rarely use and create an art center for my kids.

Each drawer is filled with kid-friendly items. Markers and paints are in the drawers out of my toddler’s reach:

Winter + Art= Hours of fun and fulfillment!

How to make paper fairy wings:

Cut paper into fun shapes

Tape onto back

Hop around the room like a fairy!

Instead of tossing empty food containers or pitching leftover pieces, we collect them, save them for the imagination.

Challenge: Let art take over a small (or BIG!) part of your home.

This post is sponsored by Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup who wants you to know that 32 feet of fresh egg noodles go into every can. For lots of fresh ideas about how to keep your kids entertained and the chance to win $500, check out Wintery Weather Fun at DivineCaroline.

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My Upside Down World

7:00 am Bykristen

Before bed the other night, we were reading a chapter of Do Hard Things to our 10 and 7 year old. (I’ll be sharing more about this book in the months to come). I was encouraging my kids to do hard things and shared this story with them:

I was a nerd in high school.

Not the classic geek with taped glasses and a pocket protector, but a misfit, nonetheless.

I was a Christian, carried my Bible most days and even wore a rhinestone pin on my clothes that spelled the name Jesus.

And that combination pretty much clinched me a spot at a lunch table on the other side of the room from the popular kids. I also had very few dates.

I didn’t feel sorry for myself though. Actually, most days I was proud to be different.

I was on the school newspaper and developed a love for graphic design (this was in the early 90′s). I had a dream of making a Christian t-shirt to wear to school. I came up with a design after school hours on the computer. My idea: an upside down world that said, “I want to turn the world upside down for Jesus.”

I wanted to do something hard.

My daughter couldn’t believe I never had that shirt made. It just wasn’t an easy thing back then. I wasn’t sure she’d gotten the point of my story.

I hadn’t thought about that young girl in a long time. I went to bed feeling discouraged that I couldn’t even get caught up on laundry or get my toddler to eat her dinner, much less change the world.

Well, something amazing happened this past week:

I got my shirt!!

My unbelievable hubby created it online and surprised me with it.

Y’all, I cried when I read the front:

(it says “I want to turn the world upside down for Jesus.”

-Kristen, Age 14

and I sobbed when I read the back:

(We are THAT family. com Kenya March 4-10)

I haven’t even gone to Africa yet and my life is being turned upside down.

It’s a new, uncomfortable place –

That feels right.

What is your childhood dream? Are you living it?

And how about that hubby of mine???

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Filed UnderCompassion, Uncategorized 75 Comments

Blisterdom

7:55 am Bykristen

Hi y’all.

I’m on my way home from Blissdom and just wanted to to recap this awesome weekend with a few highlights:

I did not faint or throw up the entire weekend. ‘nough said.
I only took three pictures. One was of my flat friend Amanda and a Food Network Super-stah:
I met my sweet roommate Muthering Heights who brought me a GALLON of Chick Fil A Sweet Tea. It’s so good to be understood.
Meeting with most of the girls from (in)Courage BLESSED me. Love them all!
I saw HARRY CONNICK JR kiss a piece of paper and enjoy it! (Tidymom, you are so famous).
I met with a book editor (maybe I’ll have some news to share-you’ll be the first to know).
The first full day exhausted me. Seriously. Never been so tired. I actually overslept until 9:24 in the A.M., just an hour before I was to speak. (But just between us, it was beautiful sleep in which I entered the REM, so I have no regrets).
I actually enjoyed speaking on the panel (Sharon, the NY publicist, little old me, Alicia, an author and The Today Show Producer and Erin from $5 Dollar Dinners and Simple Mom-not pictured):
My blog came to life when I met dozens and dozens of readers and other bloggers, the true highlight of such a special conference!
Not so much a highlight, but I just wanted y’all to know that there can be a hotel that is TOO big. My Lordy. It took FIFTEEN minutes to walk back to my room. Which leads me to me final point:
I am giving away these shoes!