I’m not sure if it’s genetic or some parental accident, but both my older kids (and I expect my preschooler to follow) have gone through separation anxiety.
And I’m not just talking about the kind that babies experience when Mommy tries to drop them off at the church nursery. Because there’s that. But also a season of extreme fear-fear of being left (like while I’m at the mailbox in the front yard), being forgotten (accidentally leaving them somewhere), or just simply never coming back.
I like to think they just really like us.
But I know this fear is very real, nearly paralyzing. As a parent, I cannot imagine doing any of the above. I’ve assured, convinced, promised and reminded. For my oldest, this terrible time was healed with the exchange of special necklaces-two halves that equaled a whole. Whenever we were going to be apart, we would both wear them. My girl would touch her necklace and instantly be reminded that it was a promise. I would return.
Although my son is in the middle of this season, he is facing his fear head on. He knows with his head that we will be there and he’s learning it with his heart. He is being very brave and even wants to go to summer church camp. He’s tackling his fears.
I’m so proud of my children. They are learning to conquer their fears, one at a time.
This is one of life’s difficult lessons. There are so many on the road to growing up. I’d like to introduce you to a new resource that is there to help during those bumpy times: Bedtime Theater.
Tell me something your kids (or you) are trying to overcome (or have) and you’ll be entered to win this:
- 2GB Silver iPod Shuffle
- Logitech Speakers
- $25 iTunes Gift Card
- Brookstone Cuddle Blanket
- Patagonia Bag
A prize package worth approximately $175
Click here to read more about Bedtime Theater Iggy’s Next Adventure contest! Help write the next chapter in Iggy’s great adventure and you could win a $2500 trip for your own family adventure!
Goodnights offers trusted resources including the NightLite Panel discussion boards and information.
Disclaimer: I have partnered with GoodNites® Sleep Pants for the Bedtime Theater program. I have been compensated for my time commitment to the program, which includes developing the Iggy’s Next Adventure story, sharing the program information with my readers, tweeting my blog entry and judging the Iggy’s Next Adventure contest entries. However, my opinions are entirely my own and I have not been paid to publish positive sentiments towards the GoodNites® products.
One of my 7 year-old twins is afraid of Big Foot and any unknowned monsters coming to our house during a night, so he goes to bed with a foam sword in his bed and a Star Wars sword under his bed.
you mentioned a book awhile ago (just getting caught up…) called do hard things – is it the one by brett harris and his brother? what age group is it for?? just trying to figure out if it would be good for my 8 year old…thanks!
Right now I am the one trying to overcome the fear…the fear of sending my child to kindergarten next year! Yikes! She has been home with me for 4 years and while she is more than ready and willing to bounce right through the doors of the school, I am the one that is shaking in my boots.
Talk about separation anxiety!
MY kida are working in being more respectful with one another. They are great outside the home but can be pretty terrible to one another. We are hekping eachother to be more aware of it and doing nice things for one another.
Christina
httP://ohmommaok.blogspot.com
ohmommaok@yahoo.com
My 11 yr old has been dealing with a fear of failure, which has caused him to avoid trying new things. This year I suggest he choose one thing that did not come easily to him, and try to conquer it. He ended up choosing ice skating. We chose to make a small rink in our yard, to make it less embarrassing than trying on a public rink. He did it! He liked the feeling of conquering that one so much, he has now decided to try conquering bowling (which he quit after two balls in December, because they went in a gutter.)
My littlest one is currently scared of going to bed. She shares a room and we have a night light on every night that we don't turn off. I feel for her and am trying my best to make her feel better but keep our normal routine in hopes she gets over this herdle.
My children are trying to over come the fear of being homeless. We lost our home last year to foreclosure, since then we have moved to a new place but they still seem unable to settle in and feel comfortable.
tamben7996(at)aol(dot)com
I am so surprised to see all the anxiety out there! My 7 year old is being treated for anxiety. His biggest fear? Going to Sunday School! Makes me so sad for him…he's so afraid we won't find our way back together even though he KNOWS we'll be back for him!
Eight years ago my son and I were on our way to the local theater to see a movie when we were involved in a car accident. Although we were not seriously hurt, the other party was, and between the rescue vehicles and the helicopter that landed in the roadway for the other party, it was pretty traumatizing for my 7 year old son. And me? I never wanted to drive again. I had a crippling fear of driving, and my son had a crippling fear of going anywhere with anybody in a car. We went to counseling for a brief time, but it didn't help. I realized that my son would not get better if I didn't get better first, so I started relying on the Lord to help me take baby steps, starting with just sitting in my driveway in my new vehicle (the other one was totaled, and even having a new vehicle was not enough incentive to want to drive again). Then my son would sit in the vehicle with me. Then there were short forays out of our long driveway, then to the local store, then to the store a little farther away, and so on. My husband works out of town during the week 150 miles away, and our biggest victory over our fears has been that my son and I now drive that 150 miles to go stay with my husband whenever we feel like it. All thanks to the Lord (and baby steps!).
My three year old is desperately afraid of the BIG MOUSE…a.k.a: Chuckecheese. We are trying to help him overcome this
.
I have five children and all of them have had various fears and struggles over the years. The one I'll mention right now is a struggle for my 9yr old. Two years ago, our van caught fire in our driveway and nearly caught the whole house on fire. He has been extremely fearful of fire ever since. He doesn't want candles on his birthday cake. He doesn't want to participate in the Christmas eve candle lighting at church. On top of that, he is afraid to go to any part of the house alone. He's terrified that if we are in the family room and he's in the bathroom a fire could break out in between and we couldn't get to him. I thought we had made some great strides in this area, but lately it seems the fears have a grip on him again.
My two year old seems to be developing a fear of spiders (just starting to see them all over). Since I'm horribly afraid of spiders myself… (woke up as a child with one walking across my face) I'm still trying to figure out how to address it with her in a way that I can handle, too!
At our house, we are struggling with our fear over "what happens next" with Daddy out of a job for more than 4 months now. Lots of opportunities for talking about trusting God, though!
We're dealing with separation anxiety right now, but ours is the baby/nursery kind. It kills me to leave her crying!
believe it or not, my 13 year old is on her way to conquering (finally!) her fear of bedtime/separation. She has trouble falling asleep if we don't tuck her in and pray with her, and she knows where we are (like which floor of the house) etc.
She has made huge strides in this last year… which is good because she is already wanting to stay up later than me.
Thankful for God's work in her life…
My 9 year old daughter is afraid something will happen to me if she doesn't hug and kiss me goodbye everytime I go anywhere. I'm not really sure how to overcome it. I just make sure not to leave without saying goodbye first!
My 4 year old has overcome so many fears in his short life – he was diagnosed with (high-functioning) autism at 2 years old. We have overcome silly things like textures of food, to sleeping alone, and even bigger for him – going potty in the toilet! Right now we are working on my daughter's (seemingly crazy) fear of flowers! Good times at our house!
My 3yo has a hard time going to sleep in his bedroom because he is afraid that monsters will come out of the ceiling and kill him. I honestly have no clue where he came up with this, but we are trying our hardest to combat it – mainly so I can sleep on my own again LOL
i am trying to overcome the control issue. As a seminary students wife i am learning I am not in control!! I have to give it all to the Lord and know he will guide us and place us exactly where he wants us.
Thanks so much for your wonderful blog!
Sarah
My son, who will turn 10 next month is afraid to sleep by himself. He sleeps in my room and has for the majority of his life. We've painted his room to make it cool with a life size spiderman to protect him, we've changed bedding and bed position. I've slept on his floor in his room, I've slept with him, he's slept with us… and now I've given up and getting him out of my room ever and have now changed my large walk in closet to a small room for him with his own bed. Sound weird but it works.
My daughter is afraid of the dark. She absolutely has to have some kind of light on at night and then the light in the hallway has to be on to get to the bathroom. She would never leave her room without it being on.
I am always fighting, fighting, fighting my own social anxiety. One day at a time.
Noah is currently anxious about something, waking with night terrors so we're working on figuring that one out.
My 3 year old girl is very independent and very stubborn. Just a few months ago, we finally overcame the potty training issue, but it took many days, weeks and even months to get her to finally give up the diapers.
What stories! I'm getting teary reading through them! Here's mine: my 14-year-old daughter is currently making her way through freshman year in a brand new GIANT high school. We moved here before school started, and she started on the first day not knowing a soul. As if being the new kid in a school of three thousand kids isn't hard enough, she's been battling alopecia, and lost almost half of her hair over the summer. Can you even imagine being a 14-year-old girl in a new school, with no friends, and being…BALD? She's really done well, though – made lots of friends, and has such a cute, crazy colored, punky haircut now that her hair has grown in a bit. She's such a great kid!
My daughter is six and sucks her fingers. I'm wishing she would have liked the nuk because those are easier to take away!
I am trying to overcome my fear of my toddler never talking.
My adopted daughter is afraid of hunger, obviously from past experiences she endured. We are working on helping her identify her fears and expressing them (and trust, patience, meeting needs, etc too!)
My three year old has been dealing with anxiety/fear for a while now. She becomes anxious and fearful over just about anything – from Chuckie Cheese to library time to Daddy coming home from work.
We have been working really hard for over a year now on decreasing her anxiety about Daddy coming home from work by having treats "grow" in his pockets while he is at work. It has taken months but she is slowly working through it (with a little positive reinforcement).
My just-turned 6 year old daughter, Shelby, is trying to overcome her fear of the dark. Where does the fear of the dark come from anyway? It seems to happen to a lot of children! Anywho, my daughter announced to me this afternoon that she wanted to sleep without her nightlight tonight. I told her okay & that I was proud of her, but I, honestly, thought she'd give in come bedtime tonight. But, nope, she was still headstrong with it and she actually fell asleep without it. I am beyond proud of her. This is HUGE for her!
My son Adam went through terrible separation anxiety about a year ago–when he was…THIRTEEN! I never did come to completely understand what was going through his mind those few months, but he has some autistic tendencies, so who knows? He followed me around the house, so much that I kept tripping on him. I couldn't go to the mailbox either! He was old enough to be left at home alone, and he had done so for some time, but all of a sudden it terrified him. So whenever it was necessary for us to leave him, we had to find a sitter for our 13-year-old. Awkward. But people understood when I explained the situation.
Finally, FINALLY, we came upon a solution. He was allowed to play Wii the WHOLE TIME we were gone. (He is usually limited to one hour a day.) This excited him and thoroughly distracted him while we were gone, so it worked. We started with short amounts of time initially, and he was excited that he didn't cry once, and he only called my cell phone 4 or 5 times instead of every 2 minutes like he did before.
My whole life I have been halted by my own fear of being alone, helpless, and in harm's way. I work everyday to think through this fear and remind myself to believe I will be okay.
No kiddos for us yet… but i remember that as a kid, i was afraid of the dark. It took lots of prayer, a few night lights now and then and the assurance that my parents would come if I needed them to get over that fear. i still don't enjoy the dark, but I know that there is someone even bigger than me who protects me from above. There is no need to fear when my Father above is light in the midst of complete darkness!
~Emily N. from "too Blessed to Stress"
We're having bed time issues since my 2 oldest are learning to share a room to make space for their baby brother.
When Mr 5 was 3 years old, he often woke up scared and would "see" something in his room he termed "The yucky man". We taught him 2 scriptures and encouraged him to remember them whenever he felt scared the first was 1 John 4:18 "perfect love casts out all fear" the second 2 Timothy 1:7 "God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of peace, love and a sound mind". We also taught him his authority in Christ and he would say "In jesus name "GO AWAY" We found after about a month things settled and he stopped waking up scared.
I am working on overcoming my ability to not forgive. About a year and a half ago my best friend of 11 years made a choice that was so hurtful and traumatizing to me that I am still struggling with trusting female friends. I have had lots of conversations with God about at least providing forgiveness in my heart, but it is a very daunting task, and I'm not sure when it will happen. Keep me in your prayers!
I'm also getting married this summer and I'm working really hard to train myself to overcome my messy habits!
I am working on overcoming my ability to not forgive. About a year and a half ago my best friend of 11 years made a choice that was so hurtful and traumatizing to me that I am still struggling with trusting female friends. I have had lots of conversations with God about at least providing forgiveness in my heart, but it is a very daunting task, and I'm not sure when it will happen. Keep me in your prayers!
I'm also getting married this summer and I'm working really hard to train myself to overcome my messy habits!
I am working on overcoming my ability to not forgive. About a year and a half ago my best friend of 11 years made a choice that was so hurtful and traumatizing to me that I am still struggling with trusting female friends. I have had lots of conversations with God about at least providing forgiveness in my heart, but it is a very daunting task, and I'm not sure when it will happen. Keep me in your prayers!
I'm also getting married this summer and I'm working really hard to train myself to overcome my messy habits!
Hello there
I must admit, that I have white coat syndrome
I am afraid of the doctor. This started when I was pregnant with my oldest son, and had trouble with my BP. I would dread going, because if it was elevated, in the hospital I would go. It has carried on, and my son is now 19.
My daughter is afraid of heights. She pushes herself to overcome this, and has become much better about it
Thanks for the nice giveaway!
Dana
d09@goldingers.com
My youngest will not stay in his bed all night. He starts there, but somehow finds himself in someone else's bed or at least their floor by morning. We've prayed with him, tried to comfort him, given him options that might make him feel more in control. Nothing has helped. He says he has bad dreams and awakes afraid to be alone. Right now my military hubby is in Haiti so the little one is just sleeping with me. It's easier for all of us, but when Daddy comes back home in a few months Daddy is going to want his spot back. My older two went through this, but because they are close in age, they usually slipped into each other's rooms – not ours. This is hard. I'd love something to help us help him.
My oldest child was scared of P.E. Through a lot of observation on mine and the coaches part we were able to figure out why and then we just started over. We eased her into a normal p.e. class by having them do some classes outside, and having them play games that were less aggresive. The coach was wonderfully kind and they have a great relationship even now, 3 years later.
My 3yo has been going to daycare since she was 4 months old and has always been very happy there. A few months ago she started crying in the morning saying she didn't want to go to school. When it first started I wanted to just quit my job(which provides our health insurance so really can't do that!). Once we got there she usually still went right in and seemed fine and most days she would be so happy at the end of day she didn't want to come home. Over time the crying had decreased but still a couple times a week she will spend the morning in tears!Tough way to start the work day!
My eight-month-old isn't wildly clingy yet, but she definitely loves Momma best and I'm worried for when she is going to get that dreaded anxiety!
emilyslinger at juno dot com
I have a young 4 year old who is afraid to stop sucking her fingers- in her defense we moved twice in the last 2 years and a new baby is on the way…older sister (almost
has bad dreams and ends up on the floor in our room once every other week- we'd love to help her not be "afraid" of sleeping in her new room either
My four yr old is afraid of the doctor. One thing that really helped is when I had my second child. When "baby" had to go to the doctor, then she went along too, and got to be the big helper. Now when it is her turn for a checkup, she is better about dealing with it.
Funny how reading about little ones always takes me back. My daughter is 13 ("almost 14 Mom!") and she'll be heading to high school in the Fall. We already had her orientation there, and she's more than a little afraid of going to such a big school! We've talked a lot about taking God with her and making lots of new friends and getting involved with lots of new activities. Hopefully I'm helping her see it as a big new adventure!!
We, my son and I, are struggling to overcome our loneliness over my husband being gone all the time. Daddy is in the Navy and while he's not deployed yet, he works 13-14 hr days. Usually leaving before our son gets up and coming home after he's tucked in. We're waiting for our Hug a Hero doll to come in the mail…. until then one of dad's t-shirts stands in.
We have 8 so we've worked through a lot of different fears. Right now a big one is our 7 year old, whose older brothers are starting to graduate and go off to college. He doesn't want to sleep alone in a room and when they are gone in the evening (as older teens often are) it's fight to reassure him. We finally started letting our puppy sleep with him-though it's getting hilarious as the boxer grows and takes up more of the bed! Whatever works huh?
My oldest has trouble going to sleep at night. I think it is hard for her to let go and relax enough to drift off. We have always tried relaxation exercises and different ways that work for her, like music and stories.
My 5 year old is scared to go upstairs by himself. His room is up there and we have a loft and can see him from downstairs but he cries the whole way up the stairs. I'm just not sure what to do to try to help him
My sweet four year old still struggles with bed wetting. We are working on that. She has made it two nights dry this week! Yippy!
I'm only entering for the kid, Mason, you blogged above in your newest post. Should I win, I want him to get this. Our children have been relatively lucky (so far, knocking on wood) but Mason? Look at what HE'S overcome! So yeah, consider my entry an entry for him. Okay? Okay.
I am working on my guilt issues. I have a hard time accepting help, favors and sometimes gifts without being able to give back to that person in an equal or bigger way.
This looks like a great give away.
Shelly in Kansas City
shell_anna@msn.com
Our eight year old is full of worry. She stresses over small things that she should not worry about and has been this way since she was two years old. I am praying it goes away with time!
We are working on weaning our son from a pacifier. He is 17 month and would have it always if we let him. Now we only let him use it when he's going to bed or in emergencies when we need him temporarily quiet.
We're working on (my 4-year-old son) pooping on the potty. Lots of fun!
My six year old is working on channeling anger appropriately. She gets so mad when something doesn't go her way or hurts her feelings. Could be friends, her little sisters, or me. She is trying really hard to remember to speak calmly and not yell. But she is very frustrated by the enormity of her emotions and they often threaten to overwhelm her.
I'm reading these comments and I can relate to almost all of them! I am a (newish) stepmom to a 4 year year old, so I missed most of the "baby" years. I came into the picture when she was around 3. It's nice that there is a huge group of people I can now relate to as I start this new awesome journey! She's scared of lots of things and often times it takes a lot of coaxing to get her to do almost anything, but I am quickly learning that sometimes daddy's ways are "old" and tried and my ways can be a new fresh breath of change. We are THAT family too!
Thanks!
I have a 15 year old daughter who has struggled with depression her whole life, on and off. She recently ran away and attempted suicide. With the help of our church family, and our family who loves and cares for her, we are struggling to not only help her overcome her depression (counseling, meds, love), but we are also as a family trying to the fears that go along with loving someone who has tried to hurt themselves. She is an amazing girl who is already making great strides, and she is very brave to stick it out and go through this process with us! Thank you!
My son has issues when we drop him off in the nursery at church. He knows who his nursery workers are, and he gives them an evil look whenever he sees them (whether or not they're in the nursery). We're working on his "need to be attached to Mommy" fear.
ashleypichea at gmail dot com
I don't have kids, but trying to over come being such a picky eater and being such a push over having to help everyone at all times.
I have a 12yo daughter who is scared of everything; dark, change, storms, people, especially large crowds of people,and many other things. She has tourettes and we think she may have very high functioning autism. But she loves to sing and she loves to worship God, and she's been able to get up on stage in front of large crowds of people and sing her heart out with no fear at all. We are so proud of her.
My nine year old is afraid of being away from me for the night. No ideas on this one yet, except not making her. Am thinking we might try the necklace idea though…what a great idea!
My 7 year old is afraid she is going to die. (In her defense, there has been a LOT of death around us lately, and one of them was a girl her age.) She is working on talking to God when her tummy hurts (her symptom) and is doing so well. I am proud of her!
My 4 year old is afraid of sleeping in her bedroom. She is working so hard on it though! She just spent night #4 in her own room. Our cure? A children's worship CD that plays on repeat all night, and a promise of a special trip to Mickey D's with daddy for ever increasing intervals of sleeping in her own bed.
My five year old has struggled with an extreme fear of speaking to others outside of his family and public speaking every since he was very little. For awhile, he had a pretty good stutter going on when he did speak. We were able to work with him on that and over the last three years have slowly drawn him out of his shell. Usually, I think the public speaking wouldn't be a big deal at all for a five year old, but the children's class at our church has the kids take turns giving the prayers, scripture readings and short talks. Our children's class is very small so the opportunity comes up about every other month. He used to absolutely refuse to say a word when we would get up at first, but he can now get through a whole talk with help. His confidence has grown by leaps and bounds especially since we started homeschooling a few months ago.
When my son Brady was going through cancer treatment, he was terrified every day when I had to flush medication through his Broviac catheter (central line that came out of his chest). Little did he know that I was every bit as scared as he was. We both learned day by day that if we talked about every step, and if I let him help by holding one of the syringes or choosing which line to flush first, then both of our fears were eased. By the end of his treatment we came to love this time together, despite the circumstance.
My youngest really is afraid to use the bathroom at school. So, two days a week she holds it from 9-4. I think it is hurting me more!
Kennlaff@comcast.net
With our oldest son, we are working on biting the tips of his fingers. He mostly does it when he is anxious but it is starting to become an all-the-time habit.
Both of my kids have separation anxiety issues. I suppose it's not surprising, seeing that anxiety is one of my biggest battles. My 2-year-old daughter is finally to the place where I can leave her with friends and family for a little while and she's fine. My 1-year-old son is not there yet, but even he is now willing to let family and friends hold him as long as I'm right there.
It's a little thing, but my four year old is afraid of buzzers (for hair cutting). We haven't buzzed his hair in YEARS but he still draws pictures of them. We cut his hair with scissors but let him watch daddy trim his own hair with buzzers to show it is safe. No progress yet, but we're trying… B @ Frymanfour startchrldr@yahoo.com
Has ti be school drop-off! The book "The Kissing Hand" worked wonders as did sewing a charming inside the cover of the nap mat that only my child would see.
I struggle with technology. I feel inadequate and unable to do things on the computer and with other devices that I think others can do easily.
Melanie
We have had to overcome a lot of fears, and are constantly working on new ones. Probably the biggest one right now is the new church. My kids are nervous about new people, new friends, a new routine. It takes us out of our comfort zone.
Someone once told me that all mammals have deep issues with loss. I wonder if it's because of the nurturing required to raise a newborn, unlike other species which are almost self-sufficient at the get-go. I think separation is a form of loss, especially to young children who don't have a lot of experience with it. Also, I think the more they were nurtured, the more significant the separation is to them.
Just my 2cents (or 5 cents or 10 cents!)
My daughter is working on overcoming fears of telling people that something offends her…like she is praticing what she will tell a friend who uses the words shut up alot. Sounds simple but she is learning how to deal with life. I am so proud of her for standing up for herself!
I have one dd that has an incredible singing voice and a real talent with music and she is deathly afraid of singing in front of people. She has started singing for our families at Christmas time and is trying to slowly work up to singing for other people.
Another dd is struggling with frustration and anger. She is smart and strong-willed and battles daily to take her attitude captive and walk with Christ.
blessings,
renita
I have a fear of losing the puppie blanket my 1 year old is so attached to! We have a replacement but I am always double checking that "Puppies" is with us!
My daughter is afraid of toys that move — animatronic toys — but then, that might be perfectly normal for a toddler! (Some of the toys today can be so abrasive to little ones.)
I myself am working through the fear of germs. I've had it all my life — it only compounded when I had children.
My kids are teens now. The fear thing isn't there so much anymore.
Except maybe for me….
I face issues now that I didn't really think about very much when they were small.
They drive.
They're TEENAGERS!
They're only on loan to me.
I use 2 Tim 1:7 as my mantra
For God has not given me a spirit of fear…but a spirit of power, love and sound mind!
He is in control!
I'm trying to get over my fear of interviews…very difficult! Now I have started accepting interviews when I'm not even sure that I want the job to get more practice and increase my level of comfort.
My daughter is SO scared of going off to preschool that she
1. retreated on potty training and we're back to square 2 again. Though promises of a puppy for her upcoming birthday may bring her back around
2. she won;t ride her hobby horse she got for christmas because if she does then shes big enough to go to school
3. she won't pedal her 'big bike' because then it means shes a big girl and capable of playing on real riding toys
4. any mention of school sends her off screaming NO and that she isn't a big girl, usually after she has said with typical 3 yr old apolmb that she is a BIG girl and to let her do (whatever) it her self….
SIGH, i'm gonna hate the 3's I already know it and we have 6 months to get her used to the idea of preschool…..
My daughter is SO scared of going off to preschool that she
1. retreated on potty training and we're back to square 2 again. Though promises of a puppy for her upcoming birthday may bring her back around
2. she won;t ride her hobby horse she got for christmas because if she does then shes big enough to go to school
3. she won't pedal her 'big bike' because then it means shes a big girl and capable of playing on real riding toys
4. any mention of school sends her off screaming NO and that she isn't a big girl, usually after she has said with typical 3 yr old apolmb that she is a BIG girl and to let her do (whatever) it her self….
SIGH, i'm gonna hate the 3's I already know it and we have 6 months to get her used to the idea of preschool…..
My daughter is SO scared of going off to preschool that she
1. retreated on potty training and we're back to square 2 again. Though promises of a puppy for her upcoming birthday may bring her back around
2. she won;t ride her hobby horse she got for christmas because if she does then shes big enough to go to school
3. she won't pedal her 'big bike' because then it means shes a big girl and capable of playing on real riding toys
4. any mention of school sends her off screaming NO and that she isn't a big girl, usually after she has said with typical 3 yr old apolmb that she is a BIG girl and to let her do (whatever) it her self….
SIGH, i'm gonna hate the 3's I already know it and we have 6 months to get her used to the idea of preschool…..
I am not sure if this comment will qualify for entrance into your contest, but all I could think of when I read this is that sometimes as parents, we have to help our children reach within themselves to do the thing that scares them…and trust that it is ok
I remember an incident about 13 years ago or so when my oldest was on one of those McDonald's play structures and we had to go. He was too scared to slde down though, and I was way too big to come and get him…so he was STUCK…I could see this was a real fear, even though there was no danger involved (truly a case of False evidences, appearing real)…I was at the bottom of the slide and it wasn't that high. I spent SEVERAL moments though comforting him and encouraging him to trust me…it was safe. SOmetimes, though, fear has no reason…and this was the case…even though he could see me…he was still afraid. Well, he finally DID come down…but one thing that really sticks in my mind as I am thinking about this this morning…how many times am I that unreasoning child telling my Father, that I am too afraid to come down…even though…I KNOW…HE is THERE…
We are trying to overcome a LOT here. With my youngest, she can't sleep until after 11pm- no matter what I've tried. When she sleeps, it's so deep she can't wake up when she has to 'go' so she still wets the bed on occasion. She's 6 now and it's really getting worrisome. That's just two of the things… don't think this form is long enough for everything!
My 8 year old has battled social anxieties. We haven't fully conquered it but we have slowly made progress. He also struggled with wetting the bed at night and at age 7 we were told about bed wetting alarms. We started it on summer break and by the time he went back to school he wasn't wetting the bed. To some that's not a major thing–but to this little boy it changed his self confidence!
Here is a fear that I bet you haven't heard before. My 18yo son who is 6'3" 310# and bench presses 500# is afraid of… BUTTERFLIES! I have no clue why. He always has been. I think it is getting better but it is the weirdest fear I have heard of. LOL!
We are working on our fear of clons from the 4yr old. Our 3 yr old wants to have a clown at his Bday party next month and the 4 yr old and I are talking about ways he can honour his brother and work on getting over his fear.
Right now we are working on the fear of the church nursery. She was supposed to be going there since 18 months, but now she's 27 months and is barely starting to get used to it.
We always try and teach the kids to tackle their fears w/ prayer. Letting them know that God is bigger than any fear they many have
My 15yo ds has major anxiety attacks when having to do anything infront of anyne. It has created major issues in school..he walked out of class because he panicked over having to do a presentation. he is supposed to play for his teacher in band and says he can't get breathe (although he plays fine in the band or in his room with the door closed). It's very worrisome as to what it will be like for him as he is older.
My son has a fear of the dark. Each night when he goes to bed I have to leave one of his lights on. Since the light doesn't seem to keep him from getting to sleep and doesn't disturb anyone else I don't mind.
My Husband is in the military. When he deploys we deal with the extreme anxiety and fear from our son 13 that his dad won't come home. We have done everything we know how to ease his fears but some things a mom just can't fix. It breaks my heart to see my son in so much pain. It also makes me so proud that although he has this fear he says that "Dad is needed in these scary places and that I am so proud of what he does for our country.".
My 6 month old has just begun the infant separation anxiety stage… She will be laying in her pack-n-play, completely content in the living room while i am sitting on the floor beside her folding laundry, or just relaxing on the couch, and as soon as I get up to leave the room for just a moment, she automatically starts screaming and crying wondering what happened to her mommy… this is a brand new phase, so we are still learning how to adjust, but as of right now I am trying not to be the "helicopter mom" by running back in the room and picking her up to console her, but I just talk out loud in a steady calm voice letting her know that I am still close enough to hear her. or sometimes I sing a song out loud so she can still hear me… and then as soon as i step back into the room, she is smiling and laughing again.
As for me and my husband, we are working on overcoming my husband's addiction to pornography, and as of today, he hasn't looked at porn for 28 days. We will soon be celebrating a small victory of one month very soon. It is all thanks to Jesus, and to you and your husband's obedience to start your He said/She said series. Thank you.
My 3 year old is scared of monsters. No idea where she came up with this – we're pretty careful about what she watches and reads. Anyway, we talk about how they aren't real, about how mommy and daddy are near and about how Jesus is always with her. She's getting better but it is tough.
I don't have time to read all of the comments now but I plan too. I love practical ideas about how parents have helped their children overcome something. Your necklace idea is an awesome one!!
jennifer@beautifulcalling.ca
My 3 year old is paralyzed by the fear of spiders. We have only seen once since his fear began. My husband bought "spider spray" (compressed air) and that has made a huge difference. He has sprayed it everywhere – including the inside of the dryer.
I really enjoy your blog. I think I found it on blissfully domestic.
One of my own biggest fears is fire. I have such a phobia of fire that I can't even light a match. There was a period of time in my life when I tried and tried to overcome that, but wound up just living around and with this great fear.
It is something I am working on again. I want to understand why it is so deeply rooted and how I can let it go.
It is such a big fear that I tried to talk myself out of posting about it. I actually considered making up a fear so I wouldn't have to talk about it. Seems I have a lot of work ahead of me.
With 3 boys we are always trying to overcome something! Right now I'm trying to potty train my 3 year old and he knows exactly how to do it, he just refuses. I guess he's way too comfortable in diapers!
my grandson had a dog bite him when he was 3 and was so scared of dogs after that-my son bought a puppy and he now loves the dog and has over come that fear
tiramisu392 (at) yahoo.com
my kids only spent the night away other than with family once. they tried to stay with friends and ended up calling me and talking to me on the phone till the wee hours of morning. we have not tried it again. they are 10 and 12.
My 3yr old has severe asthma and celiac disease. Due to both he has spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals and dr offices. He is extremely afraid of anybody in a lab coat or scrubs. He even cried when he went with me to my dr appointment. We are trying to help him understand that all appointments (ie checkups) are not ouchies.
My 6 yo is terrified of the dark, making my 4 yo have to walk everywhere with him when it's dark. What's worse is that when he gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom or something, he has to turn every light on in the house that he can possibly get to. So frustrating!
My 3YO is having terrible tantrums. I know this is very common for his age, but he and I are really struggling with it since we are currently living with my parents (which the uncertainty of being here & wondering how much longer until we leave is definitely feeding his tantrums) and they tend of add an extra layer of difficulty to what is already a tense situation. Most of the time they don't interfere directly with the tantrum & subsequent discipline, but parenting him under my parents' watchful eyes– it's tough.
Brandi
My daughter was always terrified of people dressed up in costume, particularly Santa! One year in the months leading to Christmas we started playing Santa videos, coloring Santa pages, etc. By the time her Santa photo session came she was more familiar with him and that made for less tears.
As yappy as my girls can be, they both have issues with talking to doctors/dentists and other grown ups like that. Chatting at Walmart is okay to them. Telling the dentist that something hurt- well they just wont do it… they will suffer, and then cry in the car about it. (I used to do the same thing.. not sure why though). We've had talks about how all you have to do is speak up that they can help you, you just have to say something. They love the library, but if I direct them to go to the librarian themselves they kind of panic. Unless it's a social call they get nervous.
My kittle guy (Age 4) is now afraid of Death. He experienced a lot of deaths in our family when he was two…. and now there have been a rash of deaths in our friends' families. Last night he was cuddling up to go to sleep and whispered, "Mama, can you tell me my cold won't make me die tonight? Please. I don't want to die."
I wanted to cry listening to him say that.
I just give him lots of snuggles, do lots of talking, and read more and more about God…
My 3 yr old is definately in the midst of trying any kind of new enviornment. He is a creature of routine and habit. Any new sunday school room, playground, or kids and he's on me like velcro. It's hard to let them struggle and watch from the sidelines. What a great giveaway!!!
My son is trying to overcome fear of the dark. It is going to be a long process but we are trying to be patient. He is only 3 1/2 but his fear is almost crippling. It is getting better.
my daughter is worried about someone breaking into our house…of course, I tell her that they'd take one look at our furniture and realize we didn't own anything of worth, and find another house to break into!
I am trying to help my toddler overcome his fear of sleeping in his bed at night. He is waking a lot since we transitioned him to a "big boy" bed and crying.
My email is: aliciamarie112 at hotmail dot com
Thanks
We moved several states away with our 5 children last January. It was hard on all of us, but one of our 7 year olds had a really tough time. She is a triplet and they are now 8. Anyway, she was very anxious and would even become nauseous any time hubby and I had a date night or even when things were a little different at home. I think her anxiety stemmed from fear and worry from being so far from the only home she had ever known and away from all of her family. I understood. We prayed and prayed about it, cried together, and talked through it. She knew that she was going to be okay,b ut her emotions would sometimes take over. Thankfully she has not been anxious like that in quite some time. God is good! The triplets would be so excited if I won the Ipod! They've been begging for one!
Um, where to start? I have alot of fears myself, stemming from being molested as a child. (altho the Lord has greatly helped in alot of areas) My 6 yo has always had emotional problems, anxiety, and lots of fears as well. Some pertaining to health and all he's been thru and some just genetic I think. My 4 yo has her own fears altho they don't seem as severe as his most of the time. We've been really focusing lately on God not giving us a spirit of fear and how He's always with us…no matter what!
Tyra
(this is also a great giveaway for us because 6 yo still has trouble with bedwetting due to health issues)
Both of my kids have a hard time with men with long hair…maybe it's because daddy doesn't have much!(by the way, i love his balding head!)
God has helped me get over a fear of staying alone when my husband is out of town. When we lived in a safe neighborhood, God spoke to me one day and said, "If you can't trust me to protect me now when danger is not imminent, how will you trust me when it is." I thought, "How true!" Everything is just practice – learn to trust and not be afraid now. Somehow those thoughts – and reading God's promises when I am afraid – made me much more brave.
Shots and blood for my 6 year old daughter. I mean, literally, she HEARS the word blood and lets out a squeel….:(
I'm trying to get my going on 4 year old to consistently make it to the toilet through the night. He has the daytime part down.
Things I'm trying to overcome– very numerous list! I am working on not yelling at my children. Which has been very hard. I come from a long line of yellers. My dh sometimes refers to me as *old Yeller* not funny when I am in the middle of yelling! LOL!! I tend to be a loud person anyway, so even when *I* don't think I'm yelling- others do.
Wow – with 7 of us, I don't know if you have enough room.
Let's just say…we are working on it yet the biggest thing right now is…
Going to bed before 1:00 a.m. (this is not the children – it is the adults.)
We are trying to overcome the need for Goodnights.
My three youngest still wet at night. Though we know it is probably something that they can't fix it is still frustrating for us all.