I get a fair amount of email. I don’t ever want to get to the place where I can’t answer it and so I make the effort to respond to each one.
Every once in awhile, I get one that knocks my socks off. It may be so encouraging that I want to tattoo it on my thigh. But since that would be very painful, I just stick it in a special email folder. Occasionally, I get emails so heartbreaking, I stop what I’m doing and pray for the person on the other end. And on a rare occasion, I get a mean email that points out all my faults. I have a special folder for those too. I call it my delete file.
But it’s rare that I get an email I simply don’t know how to answer.
I received the following from a college student and with her permission, I asked it I could share it with you.
It not only knocked my socks off, made me cry and ended up in my special email folder, it drove me to my knees. Because I want to be the person that *Hope thinks I am. Actually, I want to be more like her:
Hi!
I’m Hope, I’m 21 years old and will be a senior in college. My mom found your blog and she shared it with me and to say it has helped me dig deeper in my relationship with Christ would be the understatement of the century. My mom and I are so different but we both love your blog. We joke its one of the only things we have in common. I love the deep stuff. My mom is wonderful but I know sometimes she thinks my passion for serving others is a phase. She thinks when I volunteer at the homeless shelter, I’m going to catch a disease. When she sees my cry because I feel the pain of God’s people, she thinks I’m on my period. Frankly, shes so happy I read your blog because I think she knows what a wonderful role model you are for me. She loves to donate money to organizations as long as she doesnt have to be hands on.
I know that I don’t have the life experience you have, I’m single, no kids, no REAL responsibilities yet but when I read about how your heart has been changed since your trip to Africa, I cant help but cry and realize you are putting my thoughts and feelings into words. I come from a family and a hometown of people who all love God, everyone I know goes to church, and its become acceptable to “shield” our eyes from any pain or discomfort we see. After the earthquake in Haiti, I heard “sweetie change the channel this is depressing!” “I’m tired of seeing those kids on TV, change it back to MTV, I want something happy!”. When I wanted my group of girlfriends to come bring a meal to the homeless shelter I heard “its depressing, it makes me sad, God wants me to be happy! its the summer!” and “its not a good night, dancing with the stars comes on I might not be back in time and my DVR is filled up!” There is no judgement here its just I feel like a weirdo because I relish anytime I can be with the people hurting. I want to give them hope. I want them to know they arent forgotten. This is where YOU come in. When I read your blog, its like a breath of fresh air. Youve somehow managed to let me see what HE has been trying to show me all along–that its okay to embrace the sadness of the world. Its okay for me to cry WITH the mothers who cannot put food on their table. Its okay for me to feel so disgusted with all of my material possessions that I go on binge clean ups where I sit and weep with all the crap I have allowed to try to “fill” this void in me over the years. Your words have helped me realize HE is the only thing that will fill me up. When my friends/family see me becoming distraught with all of the “stuff” my family has I often hear “you are so UNGRATEFUL, you should be happy that your mom and dad have bought you all those cute clothes, and that EVERY year you get a new wardrobe” “BE HAPPY! I wish I had all those cool gadgets” “Hope, those people are homeless because they arent following God, they keep messing up, your family is living right so be happy you have tons of stuff!” I’ll admit that last one was a little exaggerated but I sometimes feel like a fish out of water.
I struggle with balancing between being completely oblivious to the poverty and pain in the world around me, and on the other side wanting to sell everything and live in a tent.
When I walk down the street with shoes on my feet, food in my belly, the love of my family, the knowledge that I am forever one of God’s beloved and I see someone who is homeless. My first instinct is to take them home with me and fix them up. My dreams dont seem realistic. I want to take off my shoes and give them to the homeless woman. But even if I do that, there is another homeless woman I’ll see another day and I’ll want to give her shoes too. Do I have to pick and choose who I help when? I have often thought maybe I could quit college and use the tuition money for children in Africa. However, if I don’t get a college education, I won’t be able to fulfill my calling to work as a social worker. My question is, HOW DO YOU BALANCE NOT FEELING GUILTY EVERYTIME YOU ENJOY A MEAL WITH YOUR FAMILY KNOWING OTHERS ARE GOING TO BED HUNGRY? I know its not feasible for me to sell all of my things and live naked. Any advice would be wonderful.
I’m saving up to go to Africa (I’ve been once before). I have never felt closer to God than when I was holding hands with the people in the slums of Tanzania. It was hard to come back to my world. It was hard coming back to a house where my mom doesn’t go to the grocery store without wearing her pearl necklace. It was hard getting off a plane and getting back into my familys gas guzzling SUV and driving to our home where we would have a full refrigerator of food. When I got home I started sponsoring *Naomi with Compassion. Seeing you with the children in Kenya helped renew my faith in the compassion organization SO THANK YOU!
Id love your thoughts on living a blessed life (materially) WITH THE KNOWLEDGE that others don’t have food, clothing or any extras. I struggle with this guilt and even when I lay it at HIS feet I’m still searching for some direction.
I wrote about guilt the other day, it was spurred by this email and some comments I’d received. I told Hope that since returning from Africa, I truly struggle with every purchase I make. I’ve joked with my hubby saying “Thank God, I’m not a home decor blogger since I keep un-decorating my home.” I weigh every item-do we really need this? It’s been a painful process and I’m not sure where the balance is. In Radical
Pretty huge idea, huh?
What would you say to Hope?
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I would say, “Why isn’t it feasible to sell everything and live ‘naked’?”
Not truly naked, but just a lot more naked than our family, friends, and neighbors. I honestly believe that some of the guilt we feel is a very holy guilt. We need to realize how much abundance we are using for our simple pleasure rather than for our basic need.
I believe it’s time for those of us with tender hearts and kindred spirits to encourage each other to do the hard things and live like no one else is living, no matter how crazy we may seem. We need to live on as little as possible in order to give so that others may simply live.
As Wesley (and now Platt) have said (paraphrased), “This doesn’t mean get a bad job. This means get the very best job you can get….then live on as little as possible so you can give the rest away.”
Hope,
Don’t let any voice in your life be louder than God’s. If He’s leading you into a journey that seems crazy, simply ask him for confirmation, and then go for it, kiddo! Know, with all of you heart, that there are MANY of us who are doing the very same thing every single day. If you feel guilty right now, start living (today) in a manner that is guilt-free. Weigh your purchases. Consider your decisions. Filter everything through God’s heart in you.
Don’t be discouraged, dear sister.
You are not alone. You are not crazy.
You’re simply waking up. Enjoy the morning!
~L
Kristen,
It is so evident that the torch you carry for Jesus Christ is so bright and fulfilling, that your light is jumping off and helping light other peoples! It is so humbling and awesome!!! I dont think that God wants us to feel guilt for those that we can’t help, because He knows we can’t help them all. But, if we turn a completely blind eye, I feel that that is when we should feel guilty!!! I pray your torch continues to burn so brightly!!! Love your blog!!!
When Jesus looked on the crowds, he was moved with compassion for them. He worked to the point of exhaustion to meet their physical and spiritual needs (fed them, healed them, preached words of life to them). But that didn’t mean He felt guilty for eating His next meal. He knew His calling and feeding His body was necessary to fulfill that calling.
I would tell Hope that we can do no better than Jesus’ example. If you are blessed with food in your refrigerator, then PRAISE GOD FOR IT. I think we must be good stewards of the money, time, talents, and blessings we’ve been given. To me, that means not over-spending on luxury items but living simply, being content with just what we truly NEED. Then spend the rest (not just money, but time and talents as well) on others.
Praise God for such a soft heart for the poor and needy! That is a rare and beautiful blessing in itself.
Wow…Hope…well her parents name her accordingly! Guilt is a funny thing…we’ve talked about this before, right here on your blog…it’s a tool…I believe! But it is a PERSONAL tool that we should use to measure our-selves with and not as a tool to COMPARE what others do
It’s a lesson we learn as a parent…CONTROL is an illusion and we can only control how we react to what life gives us and the opportunities that come our way. Hope’s parents are doing the best they can and she should not feel like a “fish out of water” but rather as the koi fish in the pond that we all love to watch. I’m inspired that such a young soul has so much to share and I see her finding her way very soon…we all need to enjoy the journey and not worry about where we are heading. Thanks for sharing Kristen…I’m going to bed now and will sleep well knowing that young people, like Hope, are here for our futures (or I should say, for my grand-babies futures 
Fondly, Roberta
Girl, you rock on.
As far as the feeling guilty – I do not believe that we should feel guilty for the blessings that God has given us. But I do believe Luke 14:48, that from those who have been given much, much will be demanded.
Guilt is a wasted emotion sweet girl. It is also – I am only saying this because I call tell by your spiritual maturity that you can handle it – guilt is a narcissistic emotion. Guilt focuses on me me me. There, you want to cut it out now, don’t you? But wait there’s more. Not only is it all that, but it is straight from the lying mouth of the Accuser. Guilt NEVER comes from God. The Lord convicts us, but He never condemns. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1. One of the best verses you can ever memorize.)
To feel guilty about the gifts that God has given you is to question His sovereignty. He placed you in a loving, wealthy, American home, a home that every precious new baby should have but only a fraction of a percentage do. You are one of those who do. To God be the glory. Amen. That doesn’t make you ‘better’, of ‘luckier’, of course. It just means that God planned it that way for a reason.
Now. What to do with the benefits of His sovereignty?
I don’t have to tell you what to do. You already know. Use it to advance the Kingdom! Keep your eyes on Christ, asking Him for direction in every aspect of your life, praising Him that He has revealed the least of these to you, and pleading with Him to show you how you can use the resources He’s given you to best glorify Him. Then buckle your seatbelt, cause I believe you’re in for a wild God ride.
As you know, it probably won’t be in a BMW
Oh I loved this comment. My husband and I have been wrestling a lot with this very thing, and this was such a breath of fresh air to read. Especially Romans 8:1! Thank you Missy!!
My pleasure, Tiffany
First, I would ask Hope if I could adopt her
Second, I would tell her that I don’t know. I have struggled with the same thing all my life. All I know for sure is that God has me exactly where He wants me for reasons I may never know this side of heaven. He’s my all in all and I have to trust Him that He knows what He’s doing by living the life He’s given me.
So glad to know I’m not alone, even though God keeps sending me reminders.
I can relate. All too well.
Hope, you are not alone.
Thank you for sharing the email. I don’t know what the answer is.
I don’t know if I’ll ever find a balance in my life. Maybe some peace and assurance can come from knowing you are being obedient, following God’s word and living faithfully. Instead of being satisfied in that and to keep from becoming complacent you should always remember that the work will not ever be done until Christ returns.
You see the world differently than most of the people around you. You have a desire to change things. Remember there are so many things beyond your control, but if there is something within your control then you should change it. So many people get caught up in making their own little worlds run efficiently and they forget there’s a world full of suffering. There’s nothing wrong with taking care of the responsibilities in life (family, kids, job), but that’s where the difficulty comes in—not forgetting there’s a world in need out there. Maybe the balance is starting with the small things that are in your control and changing those and maybe those small changes can become big changes. We’ve all been created differently with different personalities, desires, gifts and talents. You are a special person with a lot of insight for your age. You show a desire to want to change the world and God can use that desire to bring glory to him. Thank you for allowing your email to be shared. It’s caused me to think about things in my own life and think about if they are pleasing to God.
These verses came to mind when I read your email.
Maybe you’re drawn to people who are living in need or in poverty because they are usually more receptive to the gospel. Matthew 19:24 Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.
I thought of this verse because most Americans don’t go to the harvest. We financially support those who labor in the field (and that’s okay). Some people desire to labor in the harvest and thank God for those who go. Luke 10:2 And he said to them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.
Just thought of this verse because when was the last time I gave everything? Something to think about. Luke 21: 1-5 Jesus looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the offering box, 2and he saw a poor widow put in two small copper coins. 3And he said, “Truly, I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them. 4For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.”
I’d say to Hope:
The world needs more people like you!
I believe with all my heart that God has placed all those feelings within her heart because He is calling her to a life that is vastly different from the one she is living in America. I believe God has annointed her with compassion, and I also believe that God is bigger than a college degree. If Hope is feeling pulled away from the life she knows, I would implore her to consider if God might be calling her, RIGHT NOW, to that life. Do not pass Go. Do not collect a college education. We are living in a society that worships the God of education (among other things), and I really encourage Hope to go to her knees and ask God what His plan is for her life, right now.
And finally, I’d tell Hope: I LOVE YOUR HEART! Don’t let that fire go out!
God has put a special call on Hopes life. Look at Mother Theresa or the dude from the book “City of Joy”. It takes a special person to be able to give up an ‘easy life’ in order to live a more difficult but rewarding life with people in poverty. I don’t think Hope should feel bad about having things because God has put her in her country with her family for a reason. Everything in moderation.
Kristen,
Check her letter; I think you left her real name in there.
Hope* I believe that if you truly believe in Christ, you will be willing to sell all and follow Him. You will be willing to serve. It’s good to be hands on. It’s okay to fast for 24 hours, an donate the money you would have spent on food to helping those who are hungry.
It’s good to serve. Leaving the country to serve changes you. Serving around you changes you. If ye have desires to serve, ye are called to the work. . . .
Wow what a letter!
I can see where Hope is coming from, as I too sometimes feel bad about the extra’s I have.
I wouldn’t say “Guilty” as my parents – and her’s too – have worked hard to give me the things that they have and have done so because they believed they were doing the right thing. To condem them for doing so (which Hope doesn’t…. how did she get ot be so mature?!) would be wrong. What I need to do instead is get them to understand my way of thinking – even if they don’t agree!
Maybe she could live on less/with less and see if that heps her – but I’m glad she sees that she can maybe be of MORE help to those she wants to work with if she stays in college and gets her degree.
That said, sometime you just have to follow your heart and be done with it!
AM
To Hope (and Kristen) –
Just know you are SO not alone in sorting through piles of guilt! I was quite literally shackled by my guilt for many years and it took a few very tough things for God to break me free. You have new life in Christ, and it is a call to freedom. No pointing fingers or condemning stares for buying a new pair of jeans. Romans 8:1 ‘There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” All those ways we have been unloving or self-absorbed – they are PAID FOR.
So nail up that Condemnation-Guilt and get rid of it. Now the Action-Guilt, that is just good wisdom and perspective. Having touched ‘the least of these’ we cannot walk away unchanged. I think that is as it should be. If you give away your shoes to that one person, there is one less person in pain the next day. He may not give you enough shoes for everyone, but you are only one member in the Body. You do it because you love Jesus. He sees. Pray for discernment and give! Our family goes by a three-fold rule: 1)If there is a real need, 2)if I have something to meet that need and 3)if I feel called to – then we can be thrilled and privileged to GIVE.
Sounds like God is stirring your heart for our brothers and sisters living overseas in poverty, which is a huge cause for joy and praise from where I sit. We live in Congo. Yep. The needs here and the work to be done is staggering at times. We pray very very often for God to call people to Kingdom work. “The harvest is plenty, but the workers are few… so ask the Lord of the Harvest to send them.” I’m not saying everyone has to sell their belongings and become missionaries overseas, but do we labor in prayer? Do we give? Why are missions prayer meetings attended by so few? How is the Body across all nations going to care for those in need or in crisis?
It starts one ‘pair of shoes’ at a time.
Praying you will have the right shoes and be able to give them where He needs them to go.
I wrote about giving and guilt here: http://tenfootfamily.blogspot.com/2010/02/my-one-drop.html
And I’d be happy to correspond if you’d like that.
Hugs from Congo!
Kimberly
Since reading Radical by David Platt and watching you and Jennifer from MckMama chronicle your journey in Kenya, my life has been changed. We have changed the way we spend money, the way we view material possessions and the way we answer the call to serve “the least of these”. This takes many forms and looks different for everyone I believe.
I would say to Hope that God places us in time and place on purpose. She is blessed so that she can be a blessing. There is no guilt in that- God is not the author of guilt, only of conviction. Let go of the guilt and channel your conviction and desire to serve into tangible ways to do so. I thank God everyday that He chose to place me in the United States and with that privilege comes a greater responsibility to use the resources we are blessed with to bless others. Your heart for God is beautiful, Hope. Don’t let the people around you make you discouraged or doubt yourself and your calling (which is actually everyone’s calling but not everyone hears/acknowledges it)
Bless you Kristen for being so transparent and affecting hearts, including mine, with your journey!
Hi ladies!
You are SO not alone in sorting through piles of guilt! I was raised in a similar family in wealthy suburbia and never felt like I belonged there. I hope God is stirring you (both?) to Action, to move you in a different direction. Don’t let that guilt become shackles of condemnation. You didn’t ask for your nationality of privilege any more than the starving child asked for theirs. All the ways we have been unloving or self-absorbed (you have to admit, we ALL have fallen short here) those things are PAID FOR in Christ.
As only one person, you will not change the world single-handedly. That’s okay, because it isn’t really about US. God chose us to live right now where we are with a purpose. I think we are given privilege as an opportunity. An opportunity to pray/give/go in ways others will never know or see. Where do you start?
With one pair of shoes. If that’s what you have and that’s what you want to give. Don’t worry about the next person. That you cannot close your eyes to the suffering in our world means you see and care about what God sees and cares about. If you can help one person’s feet, that is one less person in pain. He is working GREATLY in your heart and I can’t wait to see where He takes you!
Grace and hugs from Congo,
K
Thank you for sharing this.
Our daughter had the same passion. We didn’t know what to do with it! We had never had a calling like that on our lives before. God was calling us to let her go during her junior and senior year summers to places that we couldn’t imagine going to. Now she’s married and just had a baby girl on Tuesday. She and her husband still plan on getting to the mission field. In the meantime they sponsor Compassion children and volunteer.
I would tell Hope’s mom to give Hope to God. Let Him use her as He will in order for her to be happy in Him. There is nothing better you could do than lay her at His feet. It’s so hard. Especially if you’ve not had that strong pull from the Lord. But God will make it easy if you just pray and ask Him to. Then sit back and be awed at the amazing work God will do in her life and in YOURS.
My parents have a ministry in the Philippines that they helped set up and visit for five weeks every year. When they get home it takes them so long to adjust to the excess that is here in the US. It makes them weep and causes them to question the material items they accumulate also. You can only control your own spending. So do what feels right and let the Lord sort it out for you. He’s faithful to answer your prayers for direction.
you can only control YOUR actions not your parents…so don’t feel guilty over theirs…Mothers get this direction all the time…you cannot care for you babes until you care for yourself…be fed. be clothed, be rested…and then you will have strength in spades to help others….
follow your heart….you have no family obligations like a husband or children…so if you want to work in the field..go for it…no regrets for later….write, write, write..you seem gifted with the word and wouldnt it be nice to be able to open eyes for others like our blog writter here does…
Breathe..direction is hard to find in live..if you have found your calling, you are blessed…social work can be very very frustrating, so talk to other social workers…..several of them…and learn…
be open to lessons that are all around you….and hug your mom..she worries about you….and likely won’t understand much of what your goals will be…but hug her anyhow…she loves you…and has raised you to be amazing…
My journey started when I read Crazy Love 2 years ago. Now I need to read Radical, it sounds like.
I really, REALLY struggle with this. We don’t live extravagant lives, we live on 1 income, drive old cars, try to pay off our debt, and we do give a fairly substantial amount. But, when I look around my house…and think of the children without clean water…it is gut wrenching. I sometimes find myself awake at night wondering what else we can do. We do go on mission trips when we can afford it, having been on 2 pretty big ones over the last 3 years…but it’s not enough for me. I worry about my kids being raised in America…with such wealth and materialism. I think most of us don’t realize how good we really have it. And that makes me sad. I get frustrated with our church (which I hate feeling this way!) when they are saving millions of dollars (with a lot of it sitting in an account somewhere) for a new sanctuary…that in all honesty, we really don’t need! I just don’t get it…and I don’t know what to do with all of my feelings, either. I would move my family to Africa tomorrow if my husband was on board with that. But, alas, he is not. 
So, I pray, I serve, I visit the homeless shelter, I pray some more. I know that if God has called my family elsewhere He will call my husband, too. So, I keep praying that He would make us one…and lead us where He would have us to be.
Kristen….Amen to you and Hope!
I wanted to share just a little from my current bible study:
“When we feel a tug of war ensuing in our hearts, we need to pay close attention; God is speaking…Colossians 3:15 says that the peace of God should rule our hearts, not our circumstances…When peace rules in our hearts we can confidently move forward regardless of what external circumstances look or feel like and regardless of what others say.”
I understand the feeling of unbalance…maybe we are not made to feel balanced? For if we were “balanced” would we continue to long for the peace, passion, love for others? I struggle constantly too….so many questions.
Please continue to share your wisdom and passion.
May your hearts be filled with much peace!
I am humbled beyond words as I read Hope’s letter. What an amazing heart God has given her…and in the midst of a culture that is so “me” centered and materially-driven! Wow…
God bless both of you for your willing, compassionte hearts. Thank you for sharing this.
I would say this… to both you and Kristen… there are some people with heart so big that God allows their vision to expand as well. You were given a gift of vision, but with that gift comes some pain and loneliness. Not everyone is like you, nor can you ask them to be.
You were also given a gift with words. *Hope, your email was brilliantly written. It may be your job to move people with those words. You probably won’t ever move them from where they are entirely to where you are. People all fall at different places on that spectrum. But by moving them even the slightest bit you can make an enormous difference in the lives of those your heart aches for.
So *Hope. Be a Kristen. Move people. We need to be moved.
I too am feeling big things on my heart that only the Lord can put there and am unsure what to do. Sometimes what he asks us puts us out of the “world’s” norm, but living for Jesus is what we are to do.
I would like to point out another blog to you as well…this girl is inspiring and doing what others would call crazy.
http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/
Wow. That’s a tough one. What an amazing girl to even be thinking about such things. Praying for wisdom for both her and you. Africa does change you that is for sure. I can’t forget.
Hope,
You have a heart that was planted in you by the God of all creation… Live from it. Do just as HE calls you to… Take off every pair of shoes you own… GIVE IT ALL AWAY… You will NEVER WANT!!
I’d write more, but I can’t stop crying… You ARE blessed… If I only had your heart, at your age…
Thank you God, for HOPE!
Kristin,
I would tell Hope that God does call us to take up our cross and follow Him. We are called to count EVERYTHING as LOSS so that we may gain Christ.
The American lifestyle is NOT the Gospel. Big houses, cars, endless shopping, credit cards, over indulging on food, etc…is not how Jesus Christ lived or called us to live. Her (and your) ever-present feeling of, “I have too much.” is the Holy Spirit inside of her because material things will never satisfy us…only Jesus Christ.
Lord, if only all Christians could live this way or even FEEL this way…maybe Christianity and Christ would have a better reputation. If we truly lived as Christ called us to.
Hope, you’re spot-on…your eyes have been opened to the TRUE Gospel. Jesus didn’t sit down with the rich…He ate with tax-collectors and sinners, the poor, and the hurting. Continue to seek God and if He tells you to give it all away, DO IT! Your treasure lies in Heaven…
I would say that she took the words straight from my heart and my life and put them on a computer screen. What a breath of fresh air to KNOW that there are others out there that feel just like I do. <3 Thank you for sharing this.
Wow… thanks for sharing. I have just started sponsoring a child from Compassion. I didn’t know anything about it until I saw your blog and God put it on my heart. Thanks for you blog.
I would tell her that we all struggle with balancing living in our society and the needs of the poor and persecuted. I fail daily but the important part is to TRY. I would tell her that I wish and hope and know that she will find a more supportive group of friends and that her example will slowly change her family’s heart. Good deeds are often small, but they matter.
Guilt is such a tricky thing, because we have to sort out if it is from God or Satan just using it to keep us running in circles. If guilt is from God it will move us to heart change, or character change if you will. It will cause us to work to be different in character and then action. If it is from the enemy it does not affect a heart change but rather a heaping of more guilt and condemnation. How this all looks in each situation I have no idea except that if we are on our knees before God He will show us. I too am feeling like we need to purge stuff because I simply want to simplify my life to have more time to be available to do what God has called me to do. I do, however think that we need to be careful and to thank God for our blessings and to use what he has given us to bless others. But more importantly what is our character like? That is Gods primary focus in each of our lives. What I mean is are we becoming more like Him? Holy as He is holy. No I am not suggesting that you or Hope lacks in character. I have never thought that. In fact my thoughts would be quite the contrary. Concerning the issue of overwhelm, I would suggest praying for God to show you each day who He wants you to minister to, if you are not already. While having a large vision is a great thing it can get over whelming at time. As my husband often asks” How would you eat and elephant? One bit at time”. I am sure you get the point I am trying to make. Again God is concerned more for their salvation than their circumstances. No I am not suggesting that we don’t help them by providing for their needs in some way.. I know that, that is showing them God here on earth and thus being a witness for Christ. What I am saying is don’t let the enemy distract you from ministering to those that God places in your life because the need is so great. L:et God worry about the size of it all. He will provide. It may look different than we think it should, but He will provide, guide and direct us to those He wants us to minister to and what He wants us to do. We just need to be seeking Him and obedient to His call.
Please know that I am not trying to come down on you or Hope I loving reading you blog. It challenges me to go deeper in my relationship with God and to look at my life to see what He wants to change in me. Thank you for being open, honest, and real with us.
Kim, well put. I realized in my response I didn’t mention anything about where guilt might come from and was just about to edit when I saw your post. You are very wise and I pray that your words are taken to heart.
Wow. What a powerful letter from someone so young. I too wish I could be more like her. My prayer is also that I raise my daughter to have such an awareness of others and calling to help them.
Kristen – What a powerful letter. I think she put into words what a lot of others think – especially regarding how you have touched so many lives. I cannot think of anyone better than you for a young woman to pattern her life around. You inspire me daily, and I am an “old” woman…
God pulls us all in our own path. We need to let him lead regardless of what others say. And tell Hope that whenever someone tells her that the person homeless in the streets with nothing to eat wasn’t living for God, then maybe Jesus wasn’t either. Because last time I read, he had no “home” to speak of. He ate the food that was given to him by people who allowed him to stay in their homes. If it weren’t for THOSE people, Jesus would be begging as well. And if it weren’t for Jesus being in the streets with the beggars and the sinners, then where would WE be? That’s what God lead him to do. Now I’m not saying she should beg in the streets, however, if she feels compelled by God to share HER wealth with them, then that’s what she has to do. I don’t think she’s weird at all. I think she’s not wrapped up in the what the material world tells her and rather is very in tuned to the real world around her.
“Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind…. For we have spent enough of our past lifetime in doing the will of the Gentiles—when we walked in lewdness, lusts, drunkenness, revelries, drinking parties, and abominable idolatries. In regard to these, they think it strange that you do not run with them in the same flood of dissipation, speaking evil of you.” 1 Peter 4:1-4
Because of this blog, our sunday school class is just going through Radical. And it’s eye opening. I’ve not felt guilty about having when others don’t, but I can feel God’s oh so gentle pull to follow Him more. I would say to Hope – God did not come to condemn you, but obviously He’s convicting you. Be grace filled for your family that doesn’t get it yet and be an awesome example. I will pray for you – for direction and peace.
Eph1: 17I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. 18I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19and his incomparably great power for us who believe…
HOPE! I want to be your friend! I am a year older than you and share SO many of those emotions! I’ve been to Africa several times (and am preparing to move to there in a month) and ever since my first trip, I have struggled to make sense of this world, of my life. I am so blessed and yet I have seen so much pain and suffering. I’ve spent hours praying that the Lord would help me make sense of my emotions so that I can be most effective for His kingdom. He has taught me so much about the body of Christ. He gives us all different passions in order to fulfill His great plan. He has given me the desire to GO. After lots of comments (even from other believers) about how crazy I must be, it is apparent that not everyone has this desire. But if we did, who would send us? and who would minister to the lost here in the states? He has blessed me so that I may bless others. The things I have been blessed with are not mine- they are simply tools He has given me temporary stewardship of. While I am not always a good steward, I desperately want to be! Guilt is a tool the enemy uses to keep us from being effective servants. His GRACE is sufficient. I’m praying for you, Hope.
@Missy: “Guilt is a narcissistic emotion.” Love that! I have put that on a post-it on my wall!
– and now my ‘ministry’ is being as good a Mama as I can be. Some days are tougher than others, but being a Christian is not the easiest path one can take…it is just the most rewarding (in the end).
@’Hope’: These ladies are all correct. I have done mission work as a highschooler in the Dominican Republic and that was one thing that really opened my eyes on the real world. Since then, life has happened and it took a different direction than I thought – because it is GOD’s plan, not mine
I would remind her that God creates gifts, talents and passions in EVERY single of His children and she is obviously very in tune with hers. She allowed God’s heart to break her own, which is a rare and very special gift. It not an easy one to shoulder, especially living in the society that we live in. I think personally that the US (assuming that is where she’s from) is the hardest country to learn what it means to truly live for God because it has become “normal” to seek after material possessions, self fulfillment and idol worship (such as money, another person like a boyfriend/girlfriend, stuff, etc). What I would encourage “Hope” to do is look up the organization called YWAM = Youth with a mission. It is the largest mission organization in the WORLD and young people just like her are called to GO out into the world and bring hope , tools for a better life and of course the love of God. They host a discipleship training school which is 5 months in duration – 3 months pure lecture and learning about the Bible, how to hear His voice, how to apply Biblical principles, etc etc (and soooo much more) and then the following 2 months are spent ON the mission field. It is life changing for all who attend and many go back to their “real lives” with a much deeper enriched perspective on the world and their own calling in how to reach it. Others, however, decide to stay on staff with YWAM in a particular country or location to continue to learn and grow and serve in the mission field. Whether to do it now or finish the last year of college…is going to have to be up to her. It is good to strive for our life’s goals and there is a time and season for everything. But if she is at the point of just going through the motions while her heart is in Africa or with those less fortunate, perhaps NOW is that time. God will open doors to complete her degree later if that is His calling. Hope that helps! The website is http://www.ywam.org
Ok I wrote a huge response and I don’t see it posted. In case I am missing it, I won’t re-say everything but I will re-give the website for YWAM, the world’s largest mission organization. I hope that “Hope” can check it out and perhaps that will shed some light on what her next step might be. http://www.ywam.org
Thank you for your blog. I have learned SO MUCH from reading it. I just wanted you to know your words have made such a difference in my life. May the Lord continue to bless you and your family.
Wow! No advice….Hope has received a lot of that in the comments so far. I really don’t think Hope needs advice. It sounds like she’s already listening to God and willing to follow where He leads…no matter what her friends & family think. Whatever she decides, I’m pretty sure she’ll change the world — one life at a time. Just like Kristen is doing. It’s an awesome domino effect! Nothing is more beautiful than seeing people on fire for God – making a difference wherever He has planted them. The “Kisses for Katie” blog also comes to mind. If these young women are our future, the world is in good hands!
I truly believe that Hope is among a growing number of Christians who feel so much like she does. I agree that she should not feel guilty – but feel blessed beyond measure for what God has provided her – but continue to seek out ways to help others with the great abundance of compassion she has.
It touches my heart when I see Christians – young or old – finally realizing God didn’t put us here to sit and take it all in, but to stand, walk, run…and seek those who need Him, need love, need help, need food. Serving Him, being more like Him, loving Him…all takes action.
All the Hope’s, Kristen’s, Connie’s and everyone else that puts feet to their love – brings joy to the Lord. Go for it, Hope. God bless you.
I would say to Hope, “Can I meet you? Can you and I figure out how to do something useful together? Because I feel the same way!”
I’ve never been to Africa or read “Radical” or “Crazy Love” or anything. But my heart is being convicted recently….
Kristen, what you quoted the other day about American’s not needing to feel “guilty” about their wealth but just stop being blind to how the rest of the world lives….. I think that’s true and a good point, but maybe some people are called to go beyond just not being ignorant anymore and ARE supposed to wrestle with “guilt” over the American Dream. but like someone else posted, it’s not bad satan-induced guilt but convinction from God that is changing your heart.
Hope is young and wants to help everybody and feels overwhelmed. That’s understandable, I feel the same way. You don’t have to give everyone your shoes today, because you can’t. But there is nothing wrong with giving away your shoes to a homeless woman if you feel like it. You can make a difference to HER right now, even if you can’t give shoes to everybody that day. Maybe tomorrow….. right?
Do what you can and let the “guilt” keep you on track instead of distract you.
Kristen, I teach a unit on community in my class where we cover poverty. I teach “Peter Singer’s Solution to End World Poverty” and it is an eye opener for students. We also do a “life auction” where everyone is given a random amount of money, some have a lot and some have very little. I put “items” up for sale that are both concrete (mansion, boat, ipad) and those that are abstract (true love, happiness, end world hunger). We conduct the auction and then we spend a lot of time talking. We talk about why they buy the concrete things first. We talk about how it felt to have $1 when others had hundreds of dollars and not be able to buy anything. And we talk about how at the end, when most everyone is out of money, they all put their money together to buy what’s left. They always do that…at the very end. Someone usually asks, “Why didn’t we do that at the beginning?” It’s interesting and gets them thinking. I would recommend reading that essay. Singer is a radical thinker and there are many ideas of his that cause controversy, but this particular essay puts forth that if we all just get the bare minimum to survive and give everything else to the poor, there would be no more poverty on the planet. Definitely encourages you to examine your own attitudes about poverty.
I love the letter, because it’s so honest and vulnerable. God can do so much with a heart like yours, Hope. I truly believe staying broken and pliable before Him is 90% of the battle. You can’t save the world. But you can make a difference, and He will guide you down the path that’s right for you at the right time.
I can’t endorse Missy’s comments strongly enough. I’m married to a man who grew up as a street rat orphan. To say he struggles with America’s excess is an understatement. But he’s grown to the point where he acknowledges that he has to push past the guilt and let it all become praise that God would save him and bless him as He did. Now the question is: How can we use our blessings to bless others? And that’s an individual calling.
By the way, Kristen, I know quite a few people who have reversed the tithing principle: They give 90% and live on 10%. That’s our goal.
WOW! That was such a powerful email.
I’m so moved that this young woman with so much insight is only 21 years old.
I’ve never been to Africa. But I’m grateful for your blog. I’m grateful that you share your stories. We need to be aware of what’s going on outside of “us four and no more”. I’m not sure I feel compelled or led by His Spirit at this time to make a trip. But I know that could one day change. The thing is, we need to be led by His Spirit. No, not wait for a rock to fall from the sky with a note, but sincerely seek Him.
His plans for us are not all the same. Some of us help send by way of finances. Others are called to be there hands on. Jesus said, “the poor you have with you always.” (see Matthew 26:11) At the same time he gave us His example to follow as well as His commands. Feeding the hungry ought to be the least of what we can do. And for each person, that may differ.
I believe what you are doing through your blog is causing us to allow the Spirit of the Living God to pierce our hearts and cause us to examine them. If we ask, he’ll surely answer. And be willing to do whatever it is that He would have us do.
So how to we balance doing our part and having compassion for a hurt, dying, starving world, yet, enjoy the blessings He daily loads us down with? Well, I suppose that’s a daily walk in His Spirit. Sometimes we stumble, sometimes we fall. But guilt, in and of itself, is not a motivator of His. His Spirit convicts. There is hope in conviction. The enemy brings condemnation and guilt. There’s no hope in condemnation.
But Kristen, regardless of where we all are individually with this, you are causing us to think about it. To not look away. So, keep it coming! That delete folder is never full enough.
*I had to add this. My three-year-old just walked in while I was typing this comment. She asked for a blueberry muffin. I told her she could get one out of the basket in the pantry and bring it to me to open. I opened it. Seconds later, insert gagging and spitting. She came back with a report that she did NOT like it. Right away I asked her if she threw it away (knowing full well she did). Her big eyes answered before her nod. This was an opportunity for me to talk with her about wasting food and explaining (as best I could on a three-year-old level) about other children in the world who are hungry. I’m amazed at the timing of this teachable moment..
I spent time in Ecuador 10 years ago as a newlywed, with my hubby and 20 others. We went into the dump, where people lived. Literally, they moved their houses made of cardboard higher and higher as the heap grew. One woman begged our pastor to take her infant son. It’s not likely that child made it to his 10th birthday.
I have never been the same.
But, I have not wasted time feeling guilty for being born in America, to relative wealth and privilege. Instead, I have been frugal, and spent time investing in peoples’ lives–here, there, in Mexico, in my church…one life is not more valuable than another.
I believe it is easier to have pity on those who live in the dump, or Africa, or wherever. And when we see the radiant faces, or the infected skin, of those in physical poverty, our hearts break. I have had to LEARN to have a broken heart for those in SPIRITUAL poverty as well. My neighbor, in the biblical sense.
Any chance I have to support foreign missions, I take. No question. I keep in touch with the missionaries in Ecuador, and each time we talk I am transported to that moment where I had to get off the bus at the dump and touch the dirtiest, stinkiest people I have ever loved.
But I am here. My husband is a pastor, here. My children are my ministry, here. So I do not covet being there. If God should move us there, Amen. May it be–I will go gladly. In fact, I pray someday we go. But as long as God has me here, I will be here and I will hurt for those in need here–whether their need is apparent or hidden. With the strength of the Lord I will meet both physical and spiritual needs here.
Pray fervently, asking God to make your path clear. Get trained in the Bible–you must be prepared to meet spiritual needs in addition to physical needs. Ask for wisdom from Godly people around you. Go in faith if you are called to. But as long as you are here, be here, and don’t waste the opportunity to have an impact on lives right here. Surrender your plans, and let the Lord lead…in the meantime, use your passion to be contagious and to spread His Kingdom.
That is how I would answer that email.
Hope, I can remember feeling something similar as a young lady. In my forties, now married and blessed with children, I can say my life has gone a very different path than I had thought I would walk. All I can say is that when you are walking in Faith, letting God direct your path,you will know intuitively, that our FATHER KNOWS what is in your heart, and what “plans I have for you”. You make a difference right where you are. As one famous “humanitarian” put it you start by helping people,”one at a time”. You’ve made a difference already, in opening peoples’ minds through this e-mail. Making people think. Don’t be discouraged, continue to follow your heart, and let God direct your path. Good luck and may our Lords’ Peace be with you.
Wow. I don’t know that I have any better advice to offer. I also scrutinize every item in my home, and everything I think about spending money on, with “Do we really need this?” But my focus is usually on saving and simplifying so that we can accomplish our own goals for our own family. Thank you for the reminder that I should be asking the questions with the intent of my heart being, “What would God want me to do with all He has blessed me with?”
I just want to encourage you, Hope, by saying that God is so pleased when the things that break His heart also break our hearts. It sounds like you have been placed in a community that needs a Godly reality check. The hard part is finding winsome ways to do that — ways that spark hope and longing for the things of God.
It may help you to remember that God is also the author of joy (to avoid getting stuck only seeing suffering), and that many who live in poverty have lives rich in love, and a deep appreciation for the love of Christ. He, after all, was homeless and poor Himself!
I hope you don’t have to feel so alone, and that God provides a like-minded person in your life. As you go about serving with joy, others will see it and be changed by it.
It is okay to be different than your community and family, to seek earnestly to know & serve God. There IS a lot of lukewarmness in the western world, and lukewarmness is something we should avoid as much as possible!
People have different experiences, so I will share mine with the caveat that some or none of it may apply.
I went through a radical, revival time about ten years ago. I began walking with God in a new way, giving more, serving more… all that good stuff. It was a tremendous time. But in retrospect, I made two major mistakes:
1) Letting the natural zeal of new discoveries and youthfulness in general carry me away. I ended up doing a lot of things “for God” in the flesh instead of in the Spirit. I led Bible studies and outreaches… and wasted a lot of time and hurt a lot of people in the process. God used many of those efforts in spite of me, but I wish I had had the patience, maturity, and wisdom to channel that zeal into waiting on the Spirit more often instead of always jumping forward in the flesh. It would have been so much better.
2) One way that I hurt a lot of people was pride. It is odd that you can be so zealous and earnest and yet so chock-full of pride…. it took years to recognize my arrogance. I despised older, more mature Christians because they weren’t as “active” as me. (*cough, cough* see point 1!) I despised my community for its excessive lifestyle. I couldn’t even get along with my mother or father.
Often there WERE serious issues, but my pride was an equally big issue. Sometimes we want to escape to xyz foreign country or at least live aloof from those around us, when God put us here precisely so that we could learn to live humbly and harmoniously in a “difficult” situation. I eventually went full-time to the mission field, and my zealous pride trampled a lot of people there, too. I hadn’t learned how to live peacefully with difficult people at home, and it was much, much harder on the field. Wish I had learned more about that back in the US of A!
Send your spiritual roots deep into Christ — here, and now — and try to avoid feeling like you have to go back to Africa to be close to Him. He is nearby everywhere. Mission trips are short — they bring have highs and lows, tons of emotions, and often force us to lean on God like we haven’t before. That’s why they impact us. But going back to that location long-term won’t have the same effect. (Eh, ask me how I know!) A few months or years in, all the spiritual issues you had at home begin to crop back up, only ten times worse.
Seek to daily & consistently know Christ. Develop a deep prayer life. Learn to live peacefully & lovingly with those you less spiritual than you (taking Christ as example). These are truly the prerequisites to changing the world and impacting people’s lives.
Three years ago the Lord brought me “home” from the mission field and began to teach me these things. It isn’t as glamorous as the foreign field. I change diapers and rock a baby all day — not doing Bible studies or outreaches or much of anything right now. He’s stripped away the activities of serving Him in order to teach me more about knowing Him.
So be encouraged. Where He has you right now may be training ground for the future. Embrace it and learn as much as you can of the “prerequisites”! You’ll be so glad you did.
I was directed to your blog through a friend and after reading only a few posts, I can say I clearly resonate with everything you say. I’ve done work in Mexico, Burma, Zambia, and a small bit of aide in Ethiopia. Having seen how the majority of the world lives certainly changes you.
For Hope, I would say just a couple of things:
1. With regards to the people who “don’t” get it: I had a very wise friend (who traveled w/ me on most of those trips) tell me that I have to remember “You can’t teach perspective.” It’s maddening. It’s frustrating. It’s so pathetic and sad that you can’t teach people to “get it.” But you can’t. All you can do is continue to call on people to follow Matthew 25 and do SOMETHING b/c that’s what we’re ALL called to. But when I hear comments as Hope described I simply remember, “You can’t teach perspective.”
2. With regards to living in the “here” and aching over the “there”: This same friend told me her way of coping with the difference is to remember that some of what we do here in the states is our culture and it’s okay. When she decorated an entire room for her baby girl (whom she was bringing home from Africa) she joked and would simply say, “This is America and we do this funny thing here like set aside an entire ROOM for a baby and spend lots of money decorating it.” She uses this to help keep her balanced. And she works tirelessly doing what she can “here” for those “there.” She and I are both in a phase of motherhood that does not allow us to pack up everything and head 1/2way around the world as we’d like. But…we are in a phase that allows us to teach our children and show them how to care for the least of these from here. It’s about straddling a fence and living w/ one foot in the “here” and one foot in the “there.” It’s a tough balance. As time passes and you gain wisdom and insight from God, it gets easier to keep one foot in each place. And there are times when you feel like you’re leaning a little more one way than the other…and that’s okay. The fact that it’s nearly impossible to find peace with the poverty you have now seen and know about…that’s a good thing. If you found peace with it and simply moved on…you’d be like so many else. Keep striving. Keep crying. Keep aching. And keep doing whatever it is God is calling you to do for the least of these.
Kristin and Hope,
(A first comment from a long-time lurker
)
I haven’t read through all the comments, so this may be repetitious.
You brought to mind a nurse I worked with – a good friend of mine. Shiela and her husband already lived frugally (debt-free) and very simply, but coming home after two years as missionaries in Africa she struggled with the same dichotomy. Her very simple lifestyle – by our standards – seemed an overwhelming abundance, and she felt guilty.
An older, wiser, missionary told her two words – abase, and abound. Abase yourself, and be willing to live humbly. Especially “in the field”, and to be able to bless others. But also, abound. Accept with thanksgiving the blessings God has given you (and your family).
That wasn’t intended (nor received) as an excuse to justify living a lavish life and turning a blind eye to others’ suffering.
However, we can become overly distracted by the (overwhelming) physical need and forget that what people really need is Jesus. They need the Gospel.
I know, there’s a fine line to walk. I don’t want to sit smugly, in my comfortable home, with my full refrigerator and closets, with a cold heart to the suffering. I want to help, and I believe it to be God’s will for all of us. For my family, we sponsor children and missionaries, we pray, and we go when we can. But I also don’t want to be so consumed by the peripheral problems (poverty, disease, abuse, etc.) that I miss the whole point.
Even if we could redistribute all the food, wealth, medicine, housing, and everything else equally, that alone wouldn’t bring a single person to Jesus. We all need salvation. We all need forgiveness. We all need hope.
So, maybe I’m not clearing anything up. Maybe I’m just muddying the waters further, because I don’t have a clear-cut answer for you. But I give you this – hold your “treasures” loosely. Enjoy the good things God has given you, but keep them peripheral. Yes, help the poor and suffering. If you want to give someone your shoes – give them! But keep your eyes on eternity. The shoes won’t bring her salvation, but they may help her hear you tell her the real Good News.
Jesus died and rose again to bring her much, much more than shoes.
Grace and peace,
Julie
This is such a great response and so true!
I don’t have time to read through the comments, so a variation of this might have been said, but at any rate, here are some of my thoughts. I believe everyone has a calling…for some it is strong and for others they have to search a little harder to figure it out, often through a series of trial and error. For some, there is indeed a calling to give up all their worldly posessions and serve people in need (Mother Teresa immediately comes to mind). I would tell Hope to finish her education and then use that knowledge to help people in whatever way she feels is using her calling to the fullest. Certainly people who virtually give up everything help a lot of those in need, but lets face it the vast majority of folks may want to help in some way, but aren’t going to go to that extreme. I think one way for people to help is to do what you are doing…educating about the need and ways to help and showing how just by simplifying your life a bit, you can help man more without really creating a hardship. The more people who see that, the more they may be willing to get creative in their own lives to find a way to help more. Its not an all or nothing thing (as in either you give up everything to serve others, or you keep the status quo & do nothing)…once more people realize that & their eyes are opened to how a little can go a long way, then more will likely begin to make the small changes that can make a big difference in the lives of others.
I nearly broke down as I read *Hope’s letter.
Story.of.my.life.
I traveled to Africa on vacation with my family almost 5 years ago and have been haunted by that trip every day since. It feels a bit like “survivor’s guilt” as I think about how much I have and how little those sweet children have. And I don’t know what to do about it. I didn’t want to come home to all of my stuff. It felt like too much. Still does. I consider every purchase I make and often hear much about my “frugalness” from family. They don’t seem to understand how tender my heart became after that trip.
I get it, *Hope. I really do.
Hope, you are testament and giving God glory every day! He wants you to notice those hurting people, He wants all of us to notice them, because He notices and loves them!! Go to college, get educated, and use your education to HELP those people that God has given you a passion for.
Wow..
I can completely relate to Hope. I knew something was different when I was in early elementary school. We got 3 pairof shoes per year. Sneakers and school shoes during school months and sandles in the summer. I had gotten my sandles early that year and gave them to a girl in my class who had old tattered and too small of shoes. I felt such deep compassion towards her. I got a huge spanking that day when I went home in her old shoes. BUT.. it was the start of much to come.
I don’t have the means to travel on missions trips but I can pray. I have raised one son who has no cares for worldly materials, but is waiting with his wife to find out what 3rd world country they will be heading towards next.
I have been blessed with another child who started serving in a nursing home at age 7. For the past 2 years or more she has been serving in a homeless shelter 1x per month. She is also bitten by the compassion bug.
NOT everyone has the ability to go overseas, Hope, but we are all called to pray and do what we can to live out Christ in the lives of others.
How beautiful for you that you have already learned that you are blessed with the spiritual gift of Mercy, that you already know that God is using and growing you in such dailiness of life.
I encourage you to find a good mentor and bible study to help direct you in the exciting paths of ministry that the Lord has for you.
Blessings to you
marky
Wow. Love the letter and so appreciate your tender heart towards the needy and forgotten. I showed it to my 14 year old daughter (who is praying about going on trip to Guatemala this year after years of waiting) and she said you shouldn’t listen to those who discourage you from what you feel God is calling you to do. You should only listen to God. As far as giving away everything, she said you can simplify your life without having to run around naked.
Do you think maybe you could be more useful if you got your education and then went overseas? Maybe you’re just not motivated to continue in school right now. Maybe you could do a one-year program and then come back home and get your education. By then you will surely see what great needs there are and how God can use your gifts with that education to back you up and be used even more. Those were my daughter’s thoughts…but understand she has been around missions all her life. Don’t think she’s not tempted with the American Dream..she is. We all are.
My thoughts…been to Zimbabwe and various poor countries. Understand your love and passion. When you mentioned helping one and then turning around to see so many others in need and confused about what to do, it reminded me of what I read recently in David Platt’s book Radical. He said that when we hear people say that they are only one person and there are so many needs and they decide just not to do anything–that is a lie straight from the pit of Hell. Ouch. That’s a pretty strong statement, but there is a lot of truth there. I know YOU are not one of those who will just not do anything, but if you can make a difference in one life, even just one, then it is worth it. Yes, there will always be great needs, even Jesus said we will always have the poor with us. But he did not ignore them. He made a difference one life at a time.
Pray. Seek God’s wisdom and direction and He will guide you. You will know what to do and will have peace in the process. Seek the counsel of a godly pastor who is not emotionally involved. Our families love us and want the best for us. Sometimes they just don’t see it though. Pray for them. Pray for God to open their eyes as well and then move forward with what God is calling you to do.
Love to you and God’s blessings on your sweet life.
Sweet girl, I get it. There are other people in this country, on this planet, that think and feel like you do. You have partially answered your own question. Balance. Sounds so easy, but oh so hard to do, much less do it consistently. What balance looks like for you is something between you and God. Nobody else can tell you what that will look like. I find it difficult to think about these things with my finite mind, because I know God is not limited in that way, and his answer for the balance and peace you are looking for may not be anything you had ever considered. Don’t be afraid to ask Him the hard questions. Ultimately, this is between God and you. Your family can’t give you the answers, and they won’t answer for your decisions in heaven, either. Wrestle it out with Him.
Praise God for tender and loving hearts! You will make a difference, a positive difference, for the Kingdom of God! May He bring you answers and peace in fulfilling your calling. Serve when given the chance, love always and pray constantly. Others will see this is you when you are being you. Don’t let the weak bring down the strong.
Hope I believe you are living out the compassion God calls us to have for the widows and orphans and the least of these. I highly recommend reading Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker and check out her website. In reference to your shoe comment God called her to be a barefooted church. I think you’ll find encouragement in her story.
Hope, you are not alone! It is so encouraging to know that another 21 year old is wrestling with the same things I am!
Kristen – I started reading your blog when you went to Kenya. THANK YOU for all you write. I’m often challenged and encouraged to love and serve God (and His people) more after reading your entries. Can I link to this post?
Hope you are right on. grab some biographies…Amy Carmichael. Sabina Wurmbrant, George Muller, Hudson Taylor. Look to them or encouragement and examples of ‘radical’ Christians. It has helped me greatly.