In a Shocking Turn of Events, I’ve Become the Older Mom

In my 20′s I was one of those gals who looked 15. I was constantly mistaken for a teen (sometimes a teen mom). It was really annoying.

Gah, I miss those days.

Because y’all, that just doesn’t happen anymore.

Somehow in the last few years, I’ve gotten old. The lines on my face and the gray in my hair are clear indications, also the desire to plant fake flowers in my front yard, wear my glasses on a chain around my neck and drive 20 miles per hour everywhere.

Little things.

Let’s not speak of the house coat. (um, what is a that anyway?)

It’s strange being close to 40, having a preschooler and nearly a teen. I’m buying bras and baby dolls. The thing about being an older mom: People look to you for advice. I’m like, “Hey, read my book-you won’t find any advice, but it will give you insight into the gray hair and fake flowers.” Okay, maybe not the flowers.

I’m in a Mom’s Bible Study from my church. I joined because I wanted to get to know people and also [NEWSFLASH] I need help with mothering. I out-age everyone by probably ten years. They are so stylish and have such great skin…

It’s just weird being the older mom.

It gives me a strange hankering for some icy hot and prunes.

So, where are you in the mom journey?

By the way, I wouldn’t go back ten years for all the money in the world…..

I’m growing older gracefully (with the help of some hair color and tweezers).

Are you a young mom or are you older than dirt, too?


Comments

  1. 1

    says

    Several years ago, when the Tongginator was still in preschool, her teacher came out to tell me – in a rather tentative voice – all about a Funny Story the Tongginator shared with the entire class, which just so happened to include my age. It took me a minute to realize that I was supposed to be embarrassed about my Old Age. I laughed and told the teacher, “oh, well, it’s all perspective. In the China-adoption world, I’M the young mom. Here? Not so much.” Heh.

  2. 2

    says

    We are in the same spot. I bought training bras for the first time last week and have a three year old Napoleon ordering us all around. Last week, at the PTA meeting, I had pity for the “older” mom then I realized, when my youngest is the same age as my oldest, I will be older than the “older” mom.

    Great meeting you this weekend. I’ll be watching for that second book.

  3. 3

    says

    Older than dirt…close to 40 with a 4, 2 and 6 mos old….but with age comes wisdom, right? I may not have all the parenting down as I am new in the journey, but there was some maturing that came pre-children.

  4. 5

    says

    I honestly have no idea — and I’m not sure what that means, exactly!!

    I’m 36, been married 16 years. I have 14 and 12 year old boys, a 9 year old girl, and while that helps me begin to feel my age somewhat, we’re adopting a five year old girl, and that in itself is making me feel like we’re getting younger and older all at the same time.

    I am peppered with white hair, I make no effort to hide it — I have named every white hair after children (and the adoption process, LOLOL!)

  5. 6

    says

    Oh yeah I remember those days when I was still being “carded” after turning 30…BUT now those days are long gone and I’m anxiously awaiting becoming a grandmother! But I am so pleased that I will still be young enough to enjoy my grandbabies and NO I wouldn’t go back for anything. I’ve earned my wrinkles and gray hairs and look forward to rocking chairs on front/back porches, sticky fingers in my gray hair and sweet chubby checks, arms and legs to squeeze forever more ;)

  6. 8

    says

    I’m much closer to 40 than I am 30 and I’ve got a 7 and almost 11 yr old.

    I’m back in college and feel older than dirt sitting in classes w/19-20 yr olds who are so self-absorbed it scares me! I think I still look fairly young. When some of the kids in my classes find out that I’ve been married almost 13 years and have an almost 11 yr old, they’re shocked. Many can’t believe I’m in my 30′s…makes me feel great, but I’m certain they’re lying! ;)

  7. 9

    says

    I’m the young mom- I’m 21. If I ever go shopping with *my* kids (I have 2 so far) and my MIL, she is the one that gets baby questions (..She’s 43 and looks like she’s 35!). Last winter we went to a children boutique to buy my 2 yr old a snow suit, and when we asked where they were in the shop, the saleperson pointed the 12-15 year old suit! Then she saw the 2 year old, and was very confused.
    So I’m not near being the oldest mom still. We’ll see when it comes!

  8. 10

    says

    ..a fossil…. 53years old….Last year we graduated our youngest child from our 20year old homeschool. I miss lesson plans, our Bible time, family field trips… I am so very blessed by the men they have become ( 4 boys), but goodness working yourself out of a job is a bad way to retire!

  9. 11

    says

    I just got into the older Mom category too! My youngest just turned 4 and I just tossed the sippy cups! Woohoo!!!! I would not go back for anything. EVER. I love being an older mom with knowledge that “this too shall pass”. I even embrace my gray hair.
    I realized I was an older mom when a young married girl with no kids tried politely to say I was too old to understand what the younger wives needed. LOL! Despite her weird comment, I loved knowing that 15 years ago I would have thought the same thing and now I don’t care. I had a difficult not laughing right at her. Lovin’ the 30′s!

  10. 13

    says

    I turn 30 on wednesday. Today at church I stared down all the young moms. I wish things were still that high and bouncy but that’s another subject.

    The fake flowers cracked me up, very funny and why do they do that?

  11. 14

    says

    Oh my!!! The older mom??? Is that what this is??? Soon to be 42… I get it now. No wonder I am trying to figure out what to fill my day with. No more lesson plans. No more awesome school project. This can get pretty depressing pretty fast. This homeschool journey certainly happens in stages–and then all a sudden it is over. At least the academic part. I look in the mirror and there are the laugh lines and the gray hair–good grief–and I am forbidden by my family to color my hair. They think it is very distinguishing. You gotta love them. What an awesome journey!!! I think I’ll go and write a book. Hmmm.

  12. 15

    says

    I’m in the young mom camp at 25 with (almost) 2 kiddos. Among believers and friends from church I don’t feel like a minority, but among friends from high school, it feels a little lonely. I love my role and I love our family, but I do sometimes feel left behind (or gone on ahead?) of the mid 20s social scene.

    Namely, needing a babysitter in order to “hang out” has kind of cramped our style.

    • 15.1

      says

      :) I was there. Highlight of my twenties was a 6-month period when my struggling older sister had moved in with us – Drew and I would leave for sushi when she and the kids were asleep for the night. Now I am looking forward to the days soon coming when my kids will be old enough to stay home alone so we wont have to pay a babysitter to enjoy some time out.

    • 15.2

      Jessica Claire says

      I agree totally! I just turned 24 and have (almost) 2 children as well. Our son is 4 1/2 and our second will be here in two weeks :) My husband and I own two houses, a boat, and a few nice cars. We have no debt except one of our houses. I love my role as a mom/wife but we had nothing in common with my high school friends that we saw a few months ago at our 5 year reunion! Yes they had children them selves, but they have no goals to move out of their parents homes, further educate themselves, get a full time job, or get married. They were into partying, and drugs. I couldn’t believe how much our lives had changed in the last 5 years. I have found older moms to be my new best friends. They are over that crazy stage and a play date is fun for all of us! Not to say I wouldn’t enjoy hanging out with a younger crew, but I value my older mom friends a ton! So thanks to all the older moms out there who do take us younger moms under their wings. And to all of you young moms who read this…. Where are you at?!?! lol I am here in Michigan and would love to be able to meet some younger moms as well :)

  13. 16

    TracyDK says

    I’m an older new mom. My son is 2 and I was 33 when he was born. My Mom was a young mom. She was 16 when I was born. My Gramma was married at 15 and a mom by 16, and she had my Mom at 25. Her oldest and her youngest (5 living) were 10 years apart. So for my family, I’m a little long in the tooth to be starting a family. However, I will say that I was told that I wouldn’t have children without medical intervention. And I was on some pretty potent meds that by all rights should have caused a miscarriage. On top of me doing all the things that should have prevented pregnancy (and most likely miscarriage if I even DID get pregnant). And for me, if I ever doubted that there was a God, He showed Himself in this. My son is a true miracle. (at least in my eyes.) And oddly throughout my pregnancy with all of the supposed complications, I KNEW my son would be right as rain. And he is. :) I’ve truly been blessed.

    Sorry to have gotten off on a tangent. :) Sometimes I feel so ancient when I see moms of children my son’s age. They’ve all recently graduated from high school….and I’m old enough to be THEIR mom practically. But I had my teen years to be a teen. I had my 20s to go crazy and hit bottom and pull myself up. And I’m beyond grateful that I didn’t have to drag a child or children through any of that. :) I was allowed to spend my youth, so now I’m more settled, and more sure in myself and who I am, so I can devote more of me to my son and family. :)

    Oh and I really like pointing out to the young girls that I’m the poster child that abstinence is the ONLY way you can’t get pregnant.

  14. 17

    says

    Well first let me just say that you look amazing! And I totally get you! I am 41 (until July 24 at which time I shall be 42) with three daughters–20 (21 this July), 18 & 4 1/2. The oldest is married with a 15 month old son. Yes, I’m a grandmother. It’s anything but boring. Having my oldest at the age of 21 and youngest well, much later, has been amazing, exciting yet challenging. I was a know-it-all young mom who was also mistaken for being much younger, a teen mom, rather 23 with two kids. I had a tubal reversal to have the last daughter. Precious little miracle. With a strong will. So I’ve been knocked off my pedestal and am still looking for my rule book. Nothing like the four-year-old arguing with the married 20 year old on how she should raise her kid.

  15. 18

    says

    I used to be the young mom. I wasn’t even 24 when my first son was born. I still think I’m too young to have a 17 year old! But now I’m almost 41 and we are fostering (and most likely adopting) a 1 yr old (there’s also 2 more bio boys and another foster girl in there too). I’m pretty sure I’m the old mom now. Within in the last 2 weeks we’ve bought a car for our teen and diapers for the baby. Talk about weird!

  16. 19

    says

    I’m kind of new to the game. I have an almost-two-year-old and am expecting another one. And I just turned 30. Like, a couple days ago. So, I’m not a spring chicken, but not quite as old as dirt, yet.

    I will say that with a toddler and full-on pregnancy, when I saw fake flowers on someone’s porch today, I thought, “What a great idea!” Thus, I may be someone who jumps on the older bandwagon much earlier than some of my peers.

  17. 20

    says

    You’re too funny! I started out as a young mom 22 years ago. And like you I was mistaken for a teen mom a few times. Then when the older two were 13 and 10 1/2, the Lord decided to then give us the desire of our hearts…another baby. (I told my husband to be careful with his words. He kept saying we were too old to have any more children. I told him to remember Abraham and Sarah. The Lord may make him eat his words. We weren’t quite that old – ONLY 38 and 40.) So now we’re the old ones at the soccer field, the ones who get asked if our 9-year-old, Ethan, is our grandson. Since we are now grandparents (Nora is 8 months old) I keep waiting for someone to ask if she’s mine. They don’t….

    Now I’m the old mom in our homeschool group. How is that possible? Yet I’ve got 9 more years of homeschooling before I’ll be through, Lord willing.

    Oh, and hair color is my friend.

  18. 21

    Ivy says

    Old … definitely old. 40 years old with a 3 year-old preschooler, and three step-kids (all teens between 14 and 19) and hubby is only a couple of years older than I am.

    When I was younger, I told myself I would embrace the grays in my hair when I got them… Now I only want my hairdresser to know how many grays I truly have. But I also determined in my twenties that I would age gracefully, which I am convinced I am doing, pigment-less hairs notwithstanding.

  19. 22

    says

    I am 35, and my girls are 9, 7, 7. When I was in the hospital having my first, my nurse told me I didn’t look a day over 18. The lactation consultant that came to my room treated me like I was a teen mother who didn’t know anything. When I was 29, and my twins were babies, a Jehovah’s Witness came to my door passing out literature. He specifically rummaged through his bag to hand a pamphlet that I “would really be interested in” that was “all about preventing teen pregnancy.” It took me a minute to realize that he thought I was a teenager! Now, I still look young (Thank you Garnier Nutrisse and mom!), and it depends on who I’m with whether I’m the older mum or the younger mum. Many of our church friends are older than I am, but I have other friends a few years younger or much younger. So, I guess I’m kind of in the middle.

  20. 23

    says

    Too funny. I am a old mom too. I am 41 with boys who are 15, 12 and 8 and my youngest is a girl who is 6. When I had my first two I was in my twenties so I was that young hip mom. Now when I go to my daughters ballet lessons I almost feel like the grandma. All the moms look so young. I dont really mind I like that I have more confidence now.

  21. 24

    says

    ummm I am an older Mom.. 45, I hit at the end of last year.. But my girls are 6 ( almost 7) and 9. We are proof that God has a sense of humor. We were married 12 years before we had our first daughter..( not by lack of trying) and 18 months later was expecting the second. My husband will be 50 this year..I would say that they keep us young.. but really they just wear us out..and we never know whichsmall group or sunday school class to be in because the parents of kids our age, aer much younger.. but adults our age have kids who are adult or near adult.

    I love that we are better financial set.. and that we are more mature in our responses to things then we would have been in our twenties…

    Other wise.. I am just every mom with a mini van and too many activites…

  22. 25

    Julie says

    I was 40 when my first and only child was born. Fortunately, God surrounded me with lots of other moms in similar circumstances.

  23. 26

    Shara says

    People have always thought I am way younger than I am, and I used to hate it, too. I think as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to appreciate it more. What’s funny is that even though I look like I’m 25 (really I’m 36), my kids are nearly all out of high school. My oldest is 19 and engaged to be married next year, and my youngest is a freshman in high school. I may look young, but I’ve been mothering longer than a lot of my friends. :)

  24. 27

    says

    I am right there with you. I have a 12 year old on down to a 6 year old. All my kids are in school, we are rapidly (as in 2 months) hitting the teenage years. I have no baby to tote on my hip, no hand to hold as we cross the street, etc. Nice and sad at the same time. The gray is showing, the wrinkles are coming and I am sagging in places I didn’t know I could sag – and that even though I am only 4 lbs heavier than the day I got married. How exactly did that happen? I want to be stylish and hip and young and perky looking, but I am too tired, and busy and wanting to just be comfortable for any of that. I am officially an older mom. I am trying to accept it, but sometimes I want to go back. I see a clear division in our church – those still having babies and those of us whose kids are all growing up way too quickly. Life is interesting and I guess we just have to make the most of where we are at – gray, wrinkles and all.

  25. 29

    says

    Oh, I remember the day when I looked around and realized I was the “old mom” in our elementary school. It was weird, to say the least. But I’m with you, I wouldn’t go back. I’m so much more grounded now, and I realize so much more what I can and cannot do. I guess you call those limitations. :) It’s a good place to be, except I miss my college girl so much sometimes. :(

  26. 30

    says

    Oh my word- we are ever in the same boat!! My kids are 12, 10, 8, and 5. Both my hubbly and I are knocking on the door of 40, but like you- I wouldn’t go back 10 years for anything!! Where we are today is such a wonderful place and God never fails to show up and show out! Parenting? Well that’s another story. I will say that as I have two coming up fast on being teens ( my 12 year old son may as well be already), parenting has taken on a whole new meaning. Mothering 4 different kids in 4 different ways is overwhelming, but what a blessing! I have thrown out all expectations except what God expects and each day we start anew.

  27. 31

    says

    Getting older is awesome. Aging stinks. I, too, am almost 40. The years between 30 & 40 have not been good to my skin (it’s actually all the damage I did to them in the earlier years that has not been kind, but it’s showing up now.) When I look at a picture or in the mirror I expect to see my 25 year old face. I don’t. It’s still shocking. I absolutely would not go back but I am trying to figure out what I can do to gain back that youthful skin (at least a little.) I’m not talking surgery but if there is some magic cream somewhere, I’d like to know.

    I don’t even mind being the old mom, if I didn’t look it so much. Maybe I was spoiled because I had good skin and used to look younger than my age. No longer and I’m paying for it now.

  28. 32

    Leigh says

    Older than dirt here as well. 39 years young, with 4 ranging from 11 years old to 17 months old. Been thinking that maybe I’m now old and wise enough to teach a Preparation for Parenting class (Babywise) at our church! Trying to grow old gracefully though. But getting up and down off the floor when changing diapers and playing with puzzles and followed by a strand of groans…….
    BTW, was going to post this to you anyway. THANK YOU for introducing me to Josh Wilson! I bought his album off of itunes and play it ALLLLL the time. His words are just amazing.

  29. 33

    says

    I’ve always been the young mom but I think that’s changing! Yesterday one of the youth group leaders mistook my 12 year old nephew for my son…Im 27 and not even sure if that would have been possible! Four kids by my 25th birthday made me feel old (but I was always told I looked like I wasn’t even old enough for one kid). The tables are turning, I guess :)

  30. 34

    Joede says

    I am near 40 and planning the next stage of life (adulthood) for my special needs daughter who turned 18yo this month and hoping to finish potty training my 2yo soon.
    I laugh somedays to look at all my laugh has brought me and how much I have changed.
    On one end, I am the “young” mom when it comes to having my special needs daughter, at her age, but at the same time..I am the “experienced” mom with the 2yo. Lol!!
    Definitely a challenge…adulthood and diapers!

  31. 35

    says

    I guess I’m older than dirt too, Kristen, even though I do still get told I look like I’m in my 20′s. (Anyone who tells me that is my new BFF for the day!) I’m not even 40 yet and my oldest is starting college this fall, while my others are in 3rd and 1st grade. Crayons and dorm fridges – that’s what I’m buying.

    Can you pass the icy hot, please? :-)

  32. 36

    karen says

    I still FEEL young and I am sure I LOOK young….though I really can’t see the mirror clearly anymore! In spite of the fact that my boys are 23 (married), 20 and 16 I MUST still be ‘hip’.

    BUT, I was recently asked to speak to our church’s “Women of Wisdom” group. I was supposed to be one of the wise ones! :-) Oh well…..thankfully my husband is aging with me…..

  33. 37

    says

    I’m not the young mom but definitely not an old mom (younger than many but older than some too) … I was 26 when my daughter was born and hope to have more. I would have loved to have had kids sooner but timing did not work out.

  34. 38

    says

    Aww. . . I’m the opposite – everyone thought I was 25 when I was 15! Now I’m not too crazy about it but oh well! I’m now 27 and mom of a 3 and 2 year old. I think age is all relative to someone. I now have kids who grew up under my husband’s and I’s youth group who are having babies at the age of 18 and I have really bonded even more with them now then I ever did in youth group. One of my favorite quotes are “Someone is always following in your footsteps” by Ginger Plowman. It’s true!

  35. 39

    says

    oh, i hate it when i remember my age. i am a teacher, which makes me feel ageless – i mean my students are always 13….ut then i remember i have a teenager and an almost teenager and i’m over 40. an old mom. but usually i choose to forget it. i don’t FEEL that old. so i’m not!

  36. 40

    says

    Well, until this past week I thought I was a young mom. Apparently, I’ve just been kidding myself. I have a son, 17, and a daughter, 15. However, at a women’s ministry board meeting this past week, I realized that one of the other women (also a mother of toddlers) was 20 years (!!!) my junior… and at my ripe old age of 46 I am more than old enough to be her mama. She doesn’t even remember the “big hair days” of the ’80s ’cause she was born in 1985!!! Grrr!!!

    Going to buy a bottle of Geritol! Ha ha!

  37. 41

    Sam ES says

    Well. I’m a new mom, but my kids are 5 and 10. Weird, right?
    My husband and I are foster parents. I’m 25. When I go out with the 10 year old, people are confused. It doesn’t help that I look like I’m 16. And we’re definitely different races. But I love ‘em :)
    And, to make matters worse, I have a 4 year old adopted sister. My parents have 6 kids (soon to be 7 as they’re adopting another little girl). Growing up, I thought it was weird to have a big family. Who knew it would get weirder? Now we embrace the bizarre-ness of my family, they rock lots and lots. It’s just a bit crazy to explain sometimes ;)

  38. 42

    says

    Ok, you’re making me admit this—- I’m the old mom. I have a 12yr. old, 11yr. old, 9yr. old, 4yr. old, 2yr. old and 4mo. old. I look at the moms in the nursery with me as we watch our babies and can’t believe they’re old enough to have babies! (of course they are—just another fact that proves I’m the old mom—lol!)

  39. 43

    says

    I was always the young mom. Now I’m just confusing to most people. I don’t fit witht the mom’s my age because they have babies and toddlers. My babies are 10 and 7… and I am not yet 30. My head can’t really wrap itself around that weirdness, so I dont expect others to understand where I’m at either. Somedays I feel old, and others I feel like a child. But as for grey hairs, I’m all about em! I say let them shine. And yes, I have more than my fair share for a 29 year-old, so I can speak from experience ;)

  40. 44

    Amy says

    I’m in between I think? I’m 30…..and my kids are 7, 5, 4, 2, and 9 months. So I’m no quite to the point of feeling like the older mom…but I was the first of many of my friends to have kids, so I feel like I have been mom longest? Does that make sense?

  41. 45

    says

    Well, you know where *I* fall…..thank goodness for Miss Clairol. I may be an old mom, but no one asks my parenting advice. Hmm…

    I live in fear of taking my nephews out and having someone ask if they are my grandchildren. ;)

  42. 46

    says

    Older than dirt, I am. ~ bras & baby dolls, huh? I have sat, side by side with my oldest daughter, as we each nursed our babies. My children span 22 years. Talk about the odd one out! And I have learned that I don’t much of anything about mothering…..(or anything else ;-)

  43. 47

    says

    I was laughing to one of my fellow “older moms” the other day when I told her I was on my way to the park for a play date. She commented that she always forgets I still have a little one too. So, I’m in the same boat as you, but I am over 40-yikes! Playdates at the park and buying bras-it’s crazy!!! While the playdate stage is physically challenging at my age, the teen years are emotionally draining-I think that’s harder ; ) Pretty soon we will have the full range of hormones at our house when I hit menopause!!!! LOL

  44. 48

    says

    Well, I just bought my oldest daughter bras this weekend, while nursing our youngest. And why does everyone call me for mothering advice and tips? I always chalked it up to being a mother of eight. Maybe it is being a mother of the age 34. Didn’t think that was old yet, but maybe it is. My oldest child, a boy, is about to be 13 and is in junior high…

  45. 49

    says

    Count me in as older than dirt! =P I’m in my last year of being in my 30s with a 5 year old and 4 year old twins.
    No one guesses me for being in my late 30s. It’s the highlights covering the gray and constant tweezing, thank you very much!! Ha!

  46. 50

    says

    I’m in the middle too. I FEEL like an old mom. I’m going to be 30 this year and my boys are 6, 5, 3, and 1. I’m enjoying getting older though, and enjoying my kids getting a bit older. They are so high maintenance when they are all so little! Its exhausting!

  47. 51

    says

    I was so happy to turn 40 b/c I felt it lent some credibility to my bad skin and gray hair. My oldest is almost 11 and my youngest will be 3 in a couple of weeks. My best friend from high school…same age as me…. was complaining to me of her frustration with her daughter b/c she wouldn’t send in her college apps. At the same time I was frustrated with my daughter b/c she wouldn’t pee on the potty. I love being the older mom and try to seek and give advice with humility… I mean my kids haven’t gone through their teens yet. I know the hard stuff is yet to come.

  48. 53

    Kit says

    I’m not sure how to classify myself. I got started “early” (not THAT early, but seems so in today’s world) and now I am 30 and my oldest is about to turn 8. My youngest just turned 3. We are not sure we are finished having children, but we probably are. And it feels weird to have had all my kids before I even reached my late twenties. I look and am young still, but in a group of other moms my age I usually feel weird, because they are just starting out and still want to talk about poop, the never-ending sleep debate, and organic baby food. Meanwhile I am very tired of all the “mommy wars” and want to talk to someone about how to spiritually guide my 5 and 8 year olds who are really growing up now, past the easy parts of changing diapers and washing sippy cups (yes those early years are exhausting, but methinks things like waking at night, changing diapers, and cutting up food into bite-size pieces is actually the easier part of raising a person, lol)

  49. 54

    Michelle says

    I am a new mom with a 12 week old and have no idea what I am doing! I call my older mom friends at least once a week trying to figure this baby out!

    • 54.1

      Tasmanian says

      Congratulations! It is an exciting journey. Ask your good friends for their advice, then try what you feel comfortable with. I am still figuring my babies out (4.5 and 2.5) but it is the first 12 weeks that were the hardest – so you are on the downhill now. All the best.

  50. 55

    says

    I am an odd combination of both. Whenever we go out my husband I and I are the oldest couple. But we almost always have the youngest kids and we have been married the least amount of time. So I’m the old mom who is newest at motherhood.

    • 55.1

      Sheryl says

      I’m with you. My husband and I have been together less than 10 yrs and our oldest is 6 and the baby is 2. I am 40 and he is 42.

  51. 56

    says

    I too am on both ends. I have a 15 year old giant…and I am always trying to figure out what is going on with homework and driver’s ed. Then #4 and #5 are 3years and 18 mos old so I am still buying diapers and seeing MUCH younger parents at the playground.

    I try to focus on the fact that since I have a baby I must be young.
    I wouldn’t go back ten years ago for any amount of money either!

  52. 57

    says

    I guess, I am young, but I feel old. In my head I am always 17, but the age got away from me. I have some gray, and my 7 year old told me that I am not very fun…I don’t want to go back mentally but sometimes I miss the feeling of flying…I don’t get that as much as I have aged.

    On the other hand, I would never want to be young now. I would be out of my league!

  53. 58

    says

    I’ve been both, and neither garners too much respect. With two girls age 21 and 5, I like to tell curious people I started early and finished late. The oldest has often been mistaken for the youngest’s mama, but it almost broke me over the one time I was assumed to be grandma.

  54. 59

    says

    I have been the very young mom of 20, to the kind of young mom at 26 who still looked younger than what I was, and am currently looking at becoming the old mom at 38. I know I still look younger than what my age is, but I really wonder about the lack of energy I would have if we had one more. That’s another 18+ years of raising kids. Yeesh – what if I’m mistaken as the grandma at school!

  55. 60

    Sheryl says

    I was so happy to read all of the comments. I am one of only two people I know who have little ones at the age of 40 and she also has two much older teenagers.

  56. 61

    says

    So funny, Kristen!
    I’m a crusty old mom! My oldest is a college dude (soph) and my girls are in high school….a senior and a sophomore! I work at the same high school, so I see them often everyday. They do like to come visit me and have lunch in my classroom….but my coolness only runs so deep!
    They told me last week that I’m an embarrassment on Facebook! {CRUSH}
    I wanted to defend myself…but realized that to them, I am an old nerd mom! Why fight it?
    :)
    Don’t fret about your mom stage though….EVERYBODY knows, MOM’S RULE!!!!
    Oh and I’m 44!

  57. 62

    Tracy says

    I am 40 with a 14 year old and two step-kids aged 18 and 22. (I married an old man) LOL
    We are at the “we can finally start going out and doing things together because the kids are older but at the same time we are sad because we can finally start going out and doing things together because the kids are older” stage.

  58. 63

    Renee says

    In my oldest daughter’s(17) circle of friends I’m the young mom at age 40 (for a couple more weeks). I should hang out with them more often. But among my youngest child’s(9) friends I’m the old mom. With four kids I fall in both camps sometimes. But I certainly don’t feel old enough to have a daughter who is graduating and going off to college in the fall.

  59. 64

    says

    Older mom. Probably by 5 years or so.

    But my son is 14, so I am also at the age where young women who do not have good relationships with their mom, look to me as a mother figure (OHMYLOD WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN!). I remind them of the frailty of my age (ahahha).. (In other words, don’t be sayin stuff in front of me you wouldn’t tell your mom, ahem)

  60. 65

    Michelle says

    I have 4 kids, 1, 3, 4, 6 and I am 40… I am definitely the oldest in my group. So I have friends my age with teenagers, or friends 10 years younger with kiddos my age…

  61. 66

    says

    Well, since I’ve read all the comments I guess I’ll add that I’m the young mom!! LOL. Just because I have a 21 year old does NOT mean I am old…nor do the silver hairs that will not go where the rest of my hair goes or the saggy skin!! I still have a couple in diapers and one is not even close to potty training age…it is interesting to have a newborn while visiting your college age child, though. Oh…and, I’ve learned that the older I am and the more children I have (ten so far), the more I realize how little I know. :-)

  62. 67

    says

    I’m the old “young” mom. I’m 36, been married almost 16 yrs. but I have a 5 yr old, 16 mo. old and one on the way in a couple of weeks. People automatically think I’m younger because of the ages of my kids. Can’t say I mind it at all! :o)

  63. 68

    says

    I’ll be 40 this summer and it’s just really weird for me. I feel so young and yet like an old soul at the same time.I enjoy a lot of the same things as my 14 yr old daughter but when I think I’m being cool – she tells me I’m weird. HA HA I think I’m in transition….

  64. 69

    rhonda says

    I was at the thrift store getting some clothes for the kids (what? you don’t? you should!) and the cashier asked if I was in school. Feeling flattered, I said- No, but thanks for asking! Its been a while since I’ve been asked that!

    He said- oh they go to school at all ages now- it doesn’t matter how old you are. Duh-Oh!

    I slinked away…chastened…

  65. 70

    says

    Loved the post….unfortunately I know what a housecoat is–only because my grandmother gave me one to wear during my last pregnancy….it has disappeared.

    I’m in the younger mom category; I have a five year old, a three and a half year old, a twenty month old and a three week old…and I’m only 25….yeah, life is crazy and I’ll be grey before I’m thirty, but we love it…most days :-)
    Love your blog!

  66. 71

    Molly says

    At a PTO event on Friday, my son came up to me and said, “do you know that there are some grandmas who are 43?” I am 43 with two boys – age 7 and 5. I have always been the older mom, but it doesn’t really bother me because I had a great role model. My mom was 33 when she had the first of her five children in the 1960s! Now, she is the youngest 80 year old I know, still willing to get down on the floor with the grandchildren (although sometimes she needs a little help getting off the floor – ). I wish I had been able to start my family earlier, so that I could have had more bambinos, but I’m blessed to be able to enjoy the boys I’ve got.

  67. 72

    says

    I must be in the middle somewhere? I’m 32. My girls are 7, 5 & 5 1/2 months. On one hand, I’m disturbed to be considered an older mom-type person to college students. That is what slapped me in the face the most about turning 30. In my head I still considered myself to be closer to the life of the post-college kid than the life of their mother, but I know where they’d see me! On the other hand, a few weeks ago a woman in church was shocked (SHOCKED!) to find out as I held my baby that she was not my first. That my first was 7. Almost 8. And I said, “Well, I am 32 and I’ve been married for almost 13 years, so that shouldn’t be too out of the question.” WHAT? She thought I was a young teen mom. Right now. She thought I was in high school. At 32.

    So I don’t know where I am.

  68. 73

    says

    Oh, what fun to read the comments!

    I’m either in the middle or in denial; I’m not sure which. I’m 32 (4yo, 2 1/2yo and another due in May). Funny, my age seems to increase every year but I don’t feel any wiser.
    I don’t feel old, until I see all the stylish 20-something moms with their shoes, clothes, bags, hair…while I do have a few pair of shoes that do me proud – for every day I’m much more partial to running shoes, flip flops and pony tails.

  69. 75

    says

    I am an “old” mom. I had my kids when I was 34, 36, & 38. I am now 43. My mom was an “old” mom too – she had me at 28 – which was ancient in 1968!! Luckily, I live in a metropolitan area where LOTS of moms have kids later. I do not feel out of place at school or anywhere!

  70. 76

    Shelia says

    Hello from the other side of the hill! I went over last November. 40 isn’t too bad. I keep telling myself that anyway.

    I guess for me, it really depends on my point of reference if I am the old mom or young mom. I have a number of friends from High school who have kids in college, or have become grandparents. (Eek!). But I also have a number of friends in the same boat with kids similar ages. Toss in some friends who have younger children and loook to me as a “seasoned/experienced” mom.

    It’s all about the point of reference. I find I feel quite young when I go to any United Methodist Women event at church…where the average age of the women there is 75!

  71. 77

    says

    Oh shoot. That’s how I’m feeling lately too. I turned 40 this past summer. Young moms are starting to come to ME for wife & mother advice. If they only knew how I’m groping in the dark myself half the time. I’d like to hold off a little while longer on the fake flowers however. Please?

  72. 78

    says

    First of all, each time that I have seen you at a conference you look hip and adorable- NOT old lol. I am a young mom, who feels old. With MS and systemic lupus I feel much older than my 32 years. I was a teen mom and have adopted two children that I was too young to biologically parent. My kids are 19, 17, 14 and 13. It is so weird to have teenagers at my age but most of my friends are just older than me and in the same life stage.

  73. 79

    says

    When I had my oldest daughter, I joined a “mommy and me” class. I was one of the youngest there and I enjoyed everything immensely. By the time I had my 3rd daughter (11 years later) I was one of the”old” moms in class. I didn’t like it so much…

  74. 80

    says

    Transitioning from the young mom crowd into the older mom crew. About to hit 30 and I have a 4 year old and a 5 month old. Lots of gals who are barely in their 20′s are having their second and third! Interesting to be transitioning to that sort of ‘in between’ stage. I’ve still got a lot to learn, but younger moms now come to me for advise!

  75. 81

    Alicia says

    At Back to School Day, I was sitting with my youngest daughter at her little first grade desk, watching another (younger) mom juggle the baby carrier, a toddler, a preschooler, and her first grader and I realized that I used to be that mom. It feels like the time has passed so quickly but I have to say, I’m happy with where I am on the Mom Spectrum.

  76. 82

    Erica G says

    Okay, I’m not a mom, and in my getting-late-twenties. And not gonna lie, with every passing year I get a little like, ugh, I’m still not a mom. So this post gave me a happy little reminder that I’ve got lots of mom years left in me. :) Until then, I’ll continue my “aunt” role to friends and family (and okay like any other child I come into contact with) with fierce love.

    Btw, I’ve been reading your blog for a long time, and love it. In fact, you’ve really affirmed some big dreams I know God has for me regarding caring for orphans and adoption. Today is the first time I’ve ever actually commented… funny the way this post, seemingly “silly” in nature compared to some of the tougher issues here, hit me enough to get a comment. Being a mom is so on my heart lately. It’s not so scary to comment… :) I’ll try to join the discussion more often…

    • 82.1

      Karen says

      Hang in there Erica. Based on what I’ve read so far, I win the “older than dirt” prize by far, but I’m having a great life. I got married at the age of 40, and had my son at the age of 42. A few years later we adopted a beautiful baby daughter from Guatemala. She’s now turning 5, he’s 7 and I’m seeing 50 up ahead. The kids are the joy of my life, but it’s also nice to look back and see all I got to do while I was without kids. Hopefully God won’t make you wait as long as I did, but even if he does, never forget that He’s got a plan for you. Rest in it, and enjoy the ride!

      • 82.1.1

        Erica G says

        thank you for this encouragement! i so appreciate your kind words and the hope and excitement they offered me! thank you thank you thank you.

  77. 83

    Niki says

    I think about this a lot anymore. Seems I am in that in-between stage. I am not your average young mom becuse I just turned 30, but its not like I was a teen mom or anything. But most of the moms I meet with a kiddo my age (5 1/2) are much older. It’s tricky…

  78. 84

    Amy says

    Ok, if you are nearing 40 and you think you are older than dirt. I guess that makes me REALLY older than dirt! I’m almost 41. My youngest is 8 and I am older than most of her friends moms. But I don’t feel like it one bit!

  79. 85

    says

    Young and young! I’m 28 with a 10 month old and a 22 month old… My age makes me young, but having two kids less than a year apart makes me feel like an old woman! ;)

  80. 86

    Crystal says

    I am a 25-year-old who looks 18, has a 3-year-old and an infant. When I was 22 and pregnant with my first, the Costco cashier whispered to me, “Is he the father?” gesturing to my husband. Apparently, my wedding ring isn’t big enough! Everyone keeps telling me that looking so young is going to come in handy one day, but I’m pretty sure Jesus is gonna come back before that talent kicks in…

  81. 87

    says

    I am right there with you girl!! I am a 41 year old mom of six!! I have a 19 year old son in college, a sixteen year old son in high school, a fourteen year old daughter in high school, a six year old son in kindergarten, a three year old daughter in preschool and a seventeen month old daughter who is with me 24/7! When I was pregnant with my seventeen month old daughter, people would ask me all the time, “Is this your first”? So, then when I had to answer to say that she was number six…. all the questions came!! People tell me all the time that I look too young to have a nineteen year old…. I just tell them that still having babies have kept me young. Like you, I wouldn’t go back for anything!! I love every minute of it!! (:

  82. 88

    says

    To everyone, I seem like the young mom. When I take my kids to the doctor, I feel like the old mom. I’ll be 37 in May and my youngest will be 3 months next week. My husband and I don’t really look as old as we are, we were asked several time if this baby was our first. There were many wide eyes when we said it was our fifth. I get treated as if I am a young first time mom – especially when I told the nurse on the nurse hotline that I believed my son was already teething. She demanded that I bring him in for an appointment because “he can’t be teething.” After paying a co-pay and getting him examined, I was told he was perfect – just teething. But I noticed when I was there, that I easily had ten to twenty years on every other mother in the waiting room (we have a high prevalence of teen moms). I took my eldest (whom I didn’t birth but would’ve been 23 if I had) out for her first driving lesson. I think I aged another ten years overnight! So here I am, new mom and old mom, balancing first time drivers and first time rollers, hoping that the grey hairs I have will stop multiplying. But if they do, I hope they continue in their “bride-of-frankenstine” style because that would still make me the “cool” mom.

  83. 89

    says

    I am right there with you! I have a 14 year old, and 11 year old, a 15 month old and I am pregnant with number 4. I was 21 when I had my first and I will be almost 36 when I have this one.

    For the most part, I have never felt like I fit in with any of the parents of my kid’s friends. I am either WAY older or WAY younger.

    I am fortunate that I was pregnant at the same time as 4 other women at work. So, even though they are younger than I am, we are all in pretty much the same boat so we have a lot to talk about.

  84. 91

    says

    HaHa! So funny. I relate. I am 35, my husband is 40. We were 23 and 28 when we got married and had our first son right around our first anniversary. I used to be so paranoid of the teen pregnancy assumption that I would tell people my age when I introduced myself! I still get carded when out without kids, and someone recently thought my husband was 27. I love that we look young, but sometimes I feel we would be respected more if we looked older.

  85. 92

    says

    I’ve been both. I was 21 when I had my twins, who are now 21. (Easy math there for ya). My youngest now is 10. So not quite as dramatic as having say a 4 year old right now. I long wanted one more baby, but now when I see the new, young moms with all the gear and bags, and tantrums, I am ever so grateful for my 10 year old. I can help those women entering the pre-teen or older with daughters, and yet I seek help with the same thing for my son. It’s the best of both worlds.

  86. 93

    says

    Oh yeah, babe. Old mom, right here. I’ll be 40 this September and I have a 4 yr old, 2 yr old and a 3 month old.

    I love being an old mom. I finally realized I was one when someone asked me to mentor them in their dating relationship.

    Hey, at least I can rock the mom jeans with good reason–I’m old! :)

  87. 94

    says

    When my oldest (12 1/2 yr old son) was a toddler at story-time in the library, I felt so odd because all of other moms there were pushing 40 (and I was 26)- made me feel like a kid with a kid! Now, with also a 9 and 6 year old (and a 10 and 3 year old coming from Haiti) I feel like the old mom- my daughters’ friends are all so much younger than I am! (Turning 38 this year). I WISH i could embrace the gray hair- but as with the color, people take me for much younger than I am (family trait!) I don’t think I would stop! PLUS, although Hubby is 5 yrs older than I am, people think he is younger than my actual age, too… and he has NO GRAY HAIR. His father didn’t get any gray until he was over 65… so yeah… I’ll be coloring. :)

  88. 95

    says

    Ha! Kristen you crack me up. I certainly don’t think of you as an old mom. I think I’m considered a young mom (out in public people think I’m the babysitter -which is really annoying), but I feel so old. Mainly because I’m always tired and hurting somewhere. Is that supposed to happening already?

  89. 96

    says

    Well until you mentioned it, I still considered myself young, but now as I actually think about it, I guess I am the “wiser mom”. I will be 35 in May, three girls, 3, 6, and 9. I still myself as the 25 year old mom I started out as, but honestly, these years of experience and life and knowing myself better, well they have been the best! I thought I would feel old, or would be getting nervous about starting climb the age latter, but honestly I am so excited to not be that same young mom. I thought I had it all figured out, looking back, I had no idea and am so glad to be surrounded by woman of all ages, younger, older, all of us just doing this motherhood journey tothether, its the hardest job on earth!

  90. 97

    goldengirls59 says

    I am definitely the older mom and at times I feel bad for my kids but at the same time I feel I have so much more wisdom to give them now than I would have had if I was younger. I am 51 and have a 17, 16 and 13 year old. They keep me young and I have a close relationship with all of them. They come to me with their thoughts for which I am so thankful. We couldn’t do it without the Lord’s help.

  91. 98

    Kelli says

    Having had my first child at age 20, I was always the younger mom. Now that child is going on 16 y.o. and now also with a 10 y.o. and 8 y.o. I am no longer the young mom. I am the older “ma’am” with the wrinkles, gray hair, AND adult acne! When did that happen?? I am MUCH more patient now than I was back then, and am grateful for that at least!!

  92. 99

    says

    I’m not in the mom category at all yet, but I’ll definitely be the older mom the entire way- I’ll be 29 this year & my hubby and I are planning on waitin until he finishes his first degree in about 2 years to start having any littles. My friends are almost completely done having babies, and most of their ‘babies’ are already potty-trained. I just plan on my kids being the spoiled kids with lots of gifts & big people that love them, and a mom that needs to get her hair colored a little more often than their friend’s moms! :)

  93. 100

    says

    I’m going to have pretty big gaps between my kids, so I’ll experience every part of the spectrum like you have/are. I was 24 with my youngest and got, “you’re so YOUNG,” a lot. Then I was 28. No young or old comments, but I noticed that most of the moms on a message board for that birth month that I go to were younger than I was. For the next one, I’ll probably be 31 (if it is God’s will!), and my husband thinks he wants four kids, so I guess I’ll be solidly “mid thirties” by then, and the oldest mom in the PTA.

    I sort of like it that way! (Well…maybe that’s easy for me to say now, at barely thirty…)

  94. 101

    says

    I turn 33 on Saturday, but I’m often looked at as the “older” mom because I have 6 kids. And many of the women I see at church are either empty nesters or moms just starting their family. There’s only a handful of us “experienced” moms with kids still at home! Oh, and it doesn’t help that my hair has been turning gray like crazy this past year. Going to start coloring soon!

  95. 102

    says

    In our church group I guess I’m one of the young moms. (29)
    However, I am really excited about my thirties because I am hoping to make less stupid mistakes and be wiser. Definitely looking for ward to being an older mom.
    I also got carded last night when buying alcohol.

  96. 104

    Siebrie says

    I’m 39, and expecting my second one! The eldest is 2.5. My mum had me when she was 36; I had my eldest when I was 36, too. I don’t look my age, but definitely feel it when I have to chase my dd, or lie down on the floor with her to play.

    My sister had her first dd when she was 24, and all the other ladies in the Lamarze (sp?) class thought it was by accident :-) Ladies in the Netherlands have their first child when they are around 30, so I don’t feel particularly old, but my sis did feel particularly young!

  97. 105

    Ingrid says

    Hi! I am new to your blog. Courtney, from WWL, sent me over here. I read back several posts and just LOVE what you are writing about. We have a lot in common. I am almost 39, have 3 crazy children and my 13 years of marriage have been challenging. I LOVE Africa, went to Ethiopia in January and it moved me deeply! Can’t wait to read more of what you have in your head, heart and life! I do blog a little at 12knotheel.blogspot and reachinghiskids.blogspot. One is a little more focused on ministry and the other is just our life.

  98. 106

    says

    Awww don’t feel too bad. You are only 18 with 20 years of experience! My mom gave birth at 40. We are all grown now and my mom is the life of the party — no one thinks of her as “old” and she’s 69! The old saying you are only as young as you feel is true most of the time — as a mom I’m sure you probably have days were you feel like 100 : ) but most of the time you can be younger :)

  99. 107

    Emily Johnson says

    Kristen, you are way too funny! We don’t think you’re the “old”mom. I’m not too far behind you in age! And yes, I have crows feet galore on my face and in the last year or so I’ve suddenly aged decades. It’s no fun. I’m so glad you’ve joined us!!! We missed you yesterday!

  100. 108

    says

    Okay, I’m not where you are yet, but I can so relate to looking like the teenager in my 20′s. And in the last couple of years I’ve really started to notice the differences is in my face and it’s upsetting me a lot more than I thought it would! And it’s keenly related to mothering, that’s for sure. These four wild things have given me a very distinguished angry line between my eyes.

  101. 109

    Gigi says

    I’m an older mom – 48 with an almost 7 year old and a just turned 4 year old, but I love it! My peers are 10 to 20 years younger because I seem to hang out with the moms of my kids friends. I think we all share wisdom and vent when needed, and the only time I really feel my age is when I look in the mirror don’t see their (my friends) youthful looks in myself anymore. (Okay that, and the fact that I don’t have the body of a young mom anymore either.) I am just grateful to have the special blessings that my children are to me and thank my Heavenly Father for them every day!

    By the way, my sister is two years older than me and she has a 6 month old granddaughter! We were married 20 years apart! Good stuff!

  102. 110

    says

    I am the old as dirt mom for sure! At 40 I have a 13 year old, 11 year old, 3 year old, and a 1 year old. Becasue of the gap between the first two and the second two, many people think I have remarried. So I like to tell them that the last two are my second family from my first husband! God blesses us in so many ways and I am certainly blessed to be an older mother. I was feeling old until I had my son at 37. Then I felt ten years younger (on the inside, outside maybe not so much). Hair color is what makes the difference for me. I don’t mind the gray….it’s the weird color the rest of my hair has turned! And who’s body is that in the mirror??? Getting older is neat and weird all at the same time. :)

  103. 111

    Elizabeth says

    I loved reading all the comments. Fake flowers? Why didn’t I think of that!!!!!!!!!

    I’m 25 with a two year old and sometimes I feel super young, and sometimes I feel super old. I guess it just depends on who I am with at the time. I see most of my high-school friends still living at home and my college friends starting to get houses and I think here I am married more than five years with a house and a two year old. Then, I see all these teenage girls at the park with their “oops babies” and I definitely feel old to tell them that I’m a stay at home mom and everything. Then, I go to a playgroup with a bunch of friends who began their families in their late thirties and I know that my mom is 46 and I just feel really young. Its like hanging out with my mom’s friends almost–the generational differences in parenting practices are astounding between the two groups. So, I don’t know where I fit in. I haven’t been carded in months and someone carded me this week. I didn’t know if I should be annoyed or happy.

  104. 112

    says

    Oh my word. When you are staring down the barrel of 50, you will read this post and laugh yourself silly for considering yourself an “older mom.” Happy new year to you!

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