I love my kids.
You love your kids.
It’s part of the whole parenting gig.
But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that what they need in order to feel loved, isn’t always what I give them.
On any given night, my son will press into my busyness, and ask a question that makes me stop in my tracks. “Want to snuggle?” It makes me stop because I always think, what if this is the last time he asks?
I could have spent the entire day doing things for him, but this is how he receives my love: time spent with him and affection.
I run my daughter to school early for Honor Choir, pay a hefty fee to rent her flute every month, buy her what she needs and sometimes what she wants, and I feel like all these things scream I LOVE YOU.
But she needs me to listen. She tells me of her locker jamming, the new science project, the girl who tries to steal answers from her in class.
It’s in these moments, my kids need me to engage to feel my depth of love for them.
- Discover how your children receive love best? It’s different for each and it unlocks the key to parenting, to really loving them well
- Engage-even in the most hectic days, I try to engage with my kids before the day is over. Make eye contact, hold their hand, touch them with assurance and listen
- Let some things go-their hair, clothes, rooms will never look like we want them to. Reserve the fight for the real battles.
This hangs in my kitchen, near the dinner table:
It’s a constant reminder to live in the moment: to say yes, to laugh more, to stop yelling and love them the most when they are unlovable.
How do you really love your kids?