[Alternately titled: I Married a Stud]

I crawled into bed, weary from the day, pulling covers to my nose. My hubby kissed me and locked us safely in our home-the last I remember until the sun and small warm bodies wake me the next morning.

But the night was just beginning for my man. At the last minute he decided to go for an early morning ride and while prepping his bike, he cut his index finger–deeply. He needed 5-6 stitches.

Instead he muffled his pain.  Tried to stop the bleeding and quickly washed his finger, careful not to leave a blood-trail or make a mess. Next, he super-glued the wound closed. (!!) He took ibuprofen, wrapped it tightly, and crawled in bed, over an hour later than planned, never waking me.

This is what it feels like to be married to a stud.

I was shocked the next morning, considering my own pain tolerance.

I would have called him from the ambulance.

But my hubby didn’t want me to worry about him. He wanted to protect me, even in his own pain, he put me first.

I think one of the great answers to building a great marriage is simply, but profoundly, found in treating your spouse like you want to be treated, putting their needs in front of your own.

The greatest commandments are to love God and love others. Sometimes loving people outside the house is easier than loving the one that forgets an item on your list, leaves his clothes piled up high, and sometimes acts like your fourth child.

Tonight my hubby took over cooking my pot of soup while I finished up a couple of things. He veered from the recipe and added a can of green peas to the soup. I don’t like peas and I let him know it.

I acted like a complete baby, stomping out of the kitchen.

When I realized I was acting ridiculous, I found him with a spoon meticulously picking out peas! I felt terrible.

I acted like a brat. He responded with love.

He still doodles our names

I’ve been married nearly 17 years and I’m still learning how to have the marriage I really want. Here are some tangible steps:

1. You never arrive-marriage takes consistent, conscientious work! We never attain perfection or reach some plateau. Daily communication and a commitment to work hard are a must. Throw yourself into your marriage!
2. Work on changing yourself- We spend a lot of time blaming our spouse for the rough patches. If we focus on changing our impatience, our expectations, our control issues, our marriages will improve and spouses will too.
3. Serve-If you make a habit of putting his/her needs in front of your own, it will revolutionize your marriage.
4. Invite God in- If your spouse will pray with you, then pray together daily. Be quick to forgive, slow to anger.

By the way, the soup was delicious. Peas and all.

How do you really have the marriage you want? What would you add?

P.S. As I publish this, my hubby is at the ER, getting stitches. After two hours of profuse bleeding (from another finger injury), I begged him to go. Honey: you’re still a stud.

P.S.S. An accident-prone stud.