30 Day Challenge for Wives {Giveaway}

*Updated with Winners* Congrats to Kat and reader (no blog) Jessica! Everyone else, take advantage of this great discount:

P.S. If you want to just shop, use this code:  U28WATF15

It’s good for 15% off any order and is valid thru MAY 31st.

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Every time I write about marriage, I get emails. Confessionals, prayer requests, heartbreaking stories and testimonies of second chances.

People are still reading our marriage testimony series daily and I could write a book about it. Maybe I will someday.

My marriage is far from being perfect. Some days we don’t even tip the scales to a good marriage. But we are committed for life and have no plans to stop trying and fighting for the marriage we really want.

I’m a better mom, daughter, person when my marriage is doing well.

Unknown to my hubby, I’ve decided to take the 30 Day Challenge because I have the ability to have a better marriage. We are living in a stressful environment right now and I tend to snap and bite his head off more in the tension. So, I definitely need it.

What is the 30 Day Challenge? …for the next 30 days:
* You can’t say anything negative about your husband …to your husband…or to anyone else, about your husband.
* Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband…to your husband…and to someone else, about your husband!

Day One:
“The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Prov. 31:11-12

To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for “choosing you” above all other women? He found you attractive as a person, and appreciated you. Though many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that you are glad God led you together, and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner.

One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a “wake up call” that he’ll never forget-a big “I love you” and an “I’m so glad I’m your wife!”

You can read ideas and encouragement for all thirty days here.

I love to partner with Union28 because they truly get the importance of encouragement in marriage. As a fun incentive, everyone who takes the challenge and leaves a comment on today’s post, will be entered to win one of two of these adorable heart tees from Union28 (fitted and non) and also this beautiful marriage worship CD!

P.S. If you want to just shop, use this code:  U28WATF15

It’s good for 15% off any order and is valid thru MAY 31st.

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Related posts:

How to Really Have the Marriage You Want

How to Really Fight for Your Marriage

Are you in? I hope so. And remember, the victory is in the trying.

Comments

  1. 1

    says

    That is a hard challenge. I love my husband, but do say negative comments to him a lot. This challenge will bring awareness to my words that I haphazardly speak. He doesn’t deserve the negativity.

  2. 2

    Doris says

    I’m in! We have a son with special needs & some days can be tough, we’ve made it 6, almost 7 years & the past 4 parenting a kiddo with special needs! Where the divorce rate is 80%!

    • 2.1

      Jai says

      Praying for you and your family Doris. Hubby and I too have been parenting a special needs son who is now 14. This is year #8 for us and we keep hearing docs, nurses and staff say they are surprised we are STILL together. Wow, I had NO idea. The grace of God ….

  3. 3

    Rachel says

    Sounds like a really tough challenge! I agree with Beth! And just like Beth, it is easy to slip so quickly. I’ll give it a try though. How many ‘redos’ or ‘oops’ are allowed so I don’t get down if I fail the first week… Or few days…?!

  4. 4

    Jai says

    Kristen,

    I am ALL in! I just finished apologizing to hubby tonight before I hopped on twitter. My tone was NOT the best yesterday and unfortunately carried over into today. Thank God for second, third, fourth, etc., chances.

    Thank you for this DARE … as I said earlier, I am ALL in.

  5. 7

    Jamie says

    I think my husband is fabulous, but I do sometimes find myself saying an awful lot of negative things about him to other people, which I’m sure does not convey how wonderful I think he is, or how happy I am to be married to him. I think this challenge is such a wonderful idea. I’ve even passed it along to my mom for her to use toward my dad. It’ll be interesting to see the positive impact this will have on our relationships with our husbands!

  6. 8

    Amy says

    Your timing is impeccable!!Today is our 8 year anniversary. I started the day by snapping at him about why he was letting the baby cry. Hmmm… stellar, I know. We had a lovely dinner tonight (just us which doesn’t happen often enough) and I was reminded about how lucky I am. I don’t tell him that often enough. Thanks for the reminder, encouragement, and words of hope. Just told my husband I am lucky to be his wife!

  7. 11

    Megan G. says

    Ooooh! Neat idea! I am up for the challenge. We’re doing great right now (God is good!), but we have a stressful month coming up, so the timing is perfect.

    Thanks!

  8. 13

    Jamie says

    What a wonderful challenge! I plan to participate, and I’ve passed it along. It will be exciting to see the positive impact this will have on our relationships with our husbands!

  9. 18

    says

    I’m in. I am reaching 16 years with my husband married for 15. We also work along side each other so we spend slot of time together. Every told us that workingtogether would destroy us. It made us stronger. Yet sometimes I forget to tell him how much I love and admire him especially when I’m cross at his sometimes childish ways. I welcome this challenge remind me how lucky I am and hopefully help me to make him feel cherished x

  10. 19

    says

    This should be interesting. We’re in what we are kindly calling a state of flux. Frayed tempers, the works. But I’m definitely willing to give it a try.

  11. 21

    Carolyn Sasek says

    Great timing! We’re going through many challenges right now, and although I can be my hubby’s biggest fan, I know that I have my moments when I can be a better wife and helpmate. Thanks for the encouragement to refocus through this challenge. ~ Blessings to you and yours…
    –c–

  12. 22

    Stacy says

    I need this right now. I’ve been in a kidn of funk and need to focus on something outside of myself! Thank you so much. I look forward to the next 30 days.

  13. 25

    Jacquie Olsen says

    I love this challenge, Kristen, and look forward to the next 30 days of learning to better love my husband. He is so good to me that I love being intentional serving, respecting and appreciating him. My husband rocks! Ok, bring on the challenge. :)

  14. 27

    says

    Oh, I am so in! We’ve been married for three years (dated for two and a half before that) and now are new parents to our adorable baby boy. Learning to be parents together is tough sometimes, even though I’d never do this without him, much less with anyone else. Furthermore, we’re moving at the end of this month, so the potential for tension is high, especially with the lack of sleep! :~) I love this challenge to love on my husband through my words.

  15. 28

    says

    Oh I’m so in!!!! <3 This is probably just what I need right now to spark our lives anew even though things aren't bad there is always something we can work on right? :)

  16. 29

    Misty says

    Oh how I need this…I went to bed crying last night after reading Chapter 9 (I think) of your book. I have a little guy that apologizes quite often and I know those apologizes are mostly for my actions and not his. I made a list of words , 54 so far, that I think I am going to print off and make a border on all the walls of our house. Words like, be kind, take time, speak softly, love unconditionally, breathe, respect, joy is in the journey (sorry I stole that one from your book too). I am hoping these words help me to be a better Mom. When I was done with my list though I realized I need these just as much for my husband. So yes I will take your dare, thank you very much.

  17. 32

    Hannah Sparks says

    I love this challenge! The ladies in our Bible study group at church have a pact to always stop one another when speaking bad/not portraying their husband in a good light in forms of gossip. Love the idea of the challenge! Count me in! Don’t enter me in the t-shirt contest though, I already have one and love it. It was part of my Valentine’s present to my husband, haha. He got the “My Wife Rocks” one!

  18. 33

    says

    I’ll take the challenge. This is something that I’ve been trying to work on lately, so this will help me. Thanking him for choosing me…..man, that’s going to be hard. I often wonder why in the world he chose me. There are many times throughout my day that I feel so unworthy and inadequate. I’m part way through Staci Eldredge’s book ‘Captivating’ and that is something she touches on. It’s been really hard to work through.

  19. 34

    Linsay says

    I am up for the challenge, even though we are moving in the next month so it is going to be HARD WORK! And I just erased a sentence because I would have failed the challenge had I typed it…wow this is going to be tough.

  20. 35

    says

    This is exactly what I needed to start. It’s been stressful here too and I’ve been known to bite off someone’s head without reason. I’m so glad to have something to keep me focused on what and why I love my husband!

  21. 38

    Shelly Jerrett says

    This is a fabulous challenge, and I would love to be an inspiration to others around me as I choose to say positive things to andabout my husband. It seems like I am alone at times amongst my friends with so much turmoil, this will be an amazing testimony!! Thanks so munch!! -

  22. 39

    K... says

    Followed a link from a friend to your blog. I am excited/nervous to try to make it through this challenge. (Especially since it’s from Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I have a hard time hearing the truths she points out. lol!)

    My husband pointed out to me today that I constantly play Devil’s Advocate with him. (I’m a person who is afraid to admit her faults and I have not yet admitted that he’s right.) My excuse is that I like to look at all angles of a situation. He sees the positives, I look at (and verbally communicate) the positives and the negatives so that we are not caught by surprise. This will be a very tough challenge for me because I have a hard time letting my guard down for anyone, and doing some of these challenges will be a gigantic vulnerability for me.

  23. 40

    Melanie says

    Hi! Thanks so much for the encouragement! I am taking the 30 day challenge and am excited to see what God’s going to do with it! :-)

  24. 41

    says

    Hi,
    I’m a newlywed whose husband will be leaving for Afghanistan within the week. This will be a great way to pass the first month of his deployment! Thanks :)

  25. 43

    says

    I’m in! I feel like I am always letting my hubs know he needs to take it up a notch with us, our marriage, our kids, chores around the house,etc. . I think I need to take it up a notch and zip it for a while. Gleen from the challange…thank you.

  26. 44

    says

    I am in!! God has something up his sleeve- he has brought marraiges to my heart and mind lately everyday, if not more often!! I can’t say this challange will be easy, but I think it will be easier for me now than it would have been even 1 year ago!! Thanks Kristen for passing this along!!

  27. 45

    says

    Hi,
    I tried to post this comment, but it didn’t load. Sorry if it ends up showing up twice. I’m a newlywed whose husband will leave for Afghanistan within the week. I’m thinking this is the perfect little challenge to get me through the first month of deployment.
    Thanks!

  28. 47

    says

    SO I went to sleep praying last light.. that since the move, our almost 21 year marriage is strained.. there are moods that my husband has that I do not appreciate nor understand, but then maybe he does not either…there is stress and tension. Rebuilding my business has a few stumbling blocks.. mainly to do with money.. and our marriage is suffering for it.. I prayed that God would give me strengthand encouragment for that man.. and show me where I need to serve him more.. and then this morning.. Here you are with ways! Bless you Kristen!

  29. 48

    says

    count me in, but this is going to be hard. i too am negative and can always find faults, even in myself. this will probably be very good for me.

  30. 50

    Kayla says

    I’m in, for sure! I love practical advice with tips on putting it to get use. And having it in a 30-day, almost devotional challenge form… awesome! Already contacted my husband to tell him how much I appreciate him!

  31. 51

    says

    I am taking the challenge! Love him, tell him so all the time. One of the comments said something about all she gives him is the leftovers. I get that. I do that. She’s a smart cookie to know how to word it, and, Kristen, you’re a smart cookie to always be sharing your awesomeness with us. :)

  32. 52

    Amy says

    I am so in. This is something I have been working on anyway, to make sure that everything I say is thought through BEFORE I say it. This is great! :)

  33. 53

    says

    I am definitely in. This is the second time I have heard about this 30-Day challenge and I ignored it the first time. I don’t think this time is a coincidence.

  34. 57

    Sara Z. says

    I have been working on this for the past several months. It has been easier to refrain from making negative comments directly to my husband than it has been to keep from saying negative things about him to others. I still have a lot of work to do.

  35. 59

    says

    I’m definitely in!!! Also, thinking about how complaining (about other people) doesn’t help my husband, and so I’m throwing *others* in, too! I don’t want to be an annoying wife who only talks about others instead of affirming those around me, including my groom!

  36. 60

    Holli K says

    I’m in! We’re doing great right now, but I know that just when you think things are going great, the devil is prowling, watching for an in….

  37. 61

    says

    Thank you for this post. I need to verbally let my husbad know how much I appreciate him more often. I look forward to the 30 day challenge.

  38. 62

    says

    I’m always up for a good challenge! Satan is trying everything he can at every moment to tear up a marriage and we need to fight everyday for our marriage………I feel like we’re in a great place right now but it can be at the time when you feel comfortable that things start to unravel. Thanks for this challenge!

  39. 63

    tina goins says

    Perfect timing Kristin. I have been struggling with this issue lately and this is a great starting point for me to start turning things around. I have a great man, but do not always show him that I truely believe that. This will give me an extra reminder each day of what I am wanting to achieve…the marriage that God has planned for us.

  40. 64

    SandyW says

    This is going to be a tough one, but I’m in! I know that I speak negatively to and about him a lot and I really shouldn’t. Thanks for the challenge!

  41. 66

    Jonett says

    I am in! I try to do this often, but thirty days straight will be a challenge. I agree that marriage is work, but we are in for life!

  42. 67

    Heather S says

    Count me in! I have two My Husband Rocks tees and they are such a boost for my hubby when he sees me wearing them! We’ve been blessed with 12 years of marriage and while it is by no means perfect, we have a strong marriage. we are committed to one another for life and he’s my best friend. I should treat him even better than I do and this challenge will help me keep my tongue in check. Love it!

  43. 69

    says

    I’m in! What a great idea! My husband is away on a business trip so I think I will send him a sweet email right now to let him know that I’m thinking about him and praying for him!

  44. 70

    Christie says

    I don’t wanna, but this is the 3rd or 4th blog post I’ve read about talking nicely to my husband, and I’ve said some not too nice things lately, so I HAVE to do this.

  45. 73

    Tiffany C says

    This will be a great challenge for me. My husband and I are a great team but with a 15 month old running around and another one on the way, I tend to take my frustration and stress out on him. I need to be careful to lift him up so that we both don’t go downhill! Thanks for the challenge!

  46. 74

    says

    I’m definitely in. If I really think about it, I don’t think I say too many negative things to my husband, but at the same time, I don’t think I say too many positive things to him either. I guess just getting too caught up in stuff! Good challenge!

  47. 75

    Monica Kinney says

    I’m all in!!! I especially needed this this week. How true to remember that we were led this direction and he CHOSE me, as I chose him. There was something there that we both saw … just need to be reminded of it every now and then! Thanks for the reminder!!

  48. 78

    vickie says

    I’m in … we’re going through a very difficult time right now so your post comes as a God moment

  49. 79

    Tracy says

    Im in! A little nervous but excited to see how God uses this challenge in my life and excited to see how many other women are going to be doing it too!!

  50. 80

    Debbie says

    I just got your book on my Kindle and can’t stop reading it. I have even shared some with my husband and we can both relate to meal time battles and tears. I will be taking a new approach tonight and will decide to enjoy the chaos. I am taking the challenge. I am starting now. My husband works so hard in a job he does not like, but he does it everyday because of his 4 kids and me. I will build him up from this day forward. Thank you for the challenge and your insightful words.

  51. 81

    says

    I am so excited about this challenge! It will certainly be difficult because as much as I truly love my husband, I have a habit of snapping at him much too often. I always apologize afterward, but usually the damage has been done. I need to bite my tongue as well as change my attitude. This will be well worth the effort. I pray that this challenge will extend beyond thirty days for me and permeate my life forever. This simple idea, of not being negative toward or about ones husband, definitely has marriage-transforming potential.

  52. 82

    Kalyn says

    This is a great challenge, and one that will simply change my perspective on the hard days. Thank you for this!

  53. 85

    debbie says

    Nice idea, but I already ruined day one!
    I do not know how to hold my tongue. God help me! ‘Cause I can’t do it on my own…

  54. 87

    says

    I tend to say negative things to my husband or I just act crabby towards him! Especially lately when he has been so busy and hardly home! I do love him and wish I could hold in my meanness! Thanks for the challenge!

  55. 88

    says

    What an awesome and difficult challenge. I know I’ve taken my husband for granted more so lately than ever, which is rather heartbreaking. Count me in on the challenge!

  56. 89

    says

    I accept your challenge! We’re going through a stressful time of sport injuries that take a very long time (over a year) to heal. After hearing I can’t for so long, it’s hard to know when I need to be supportive and relent and when I should push.

  57. 90

    says

    I accept! My husband and I have been married for going on 29 years and speaking words of encouragement has consistenly been my greatest challenge.

  58. 91

    Amy C. says

    I’m in ! We are celebrating 14 years of marriage this summer, and while our marriage is far from perfect we both are committed to each other and our family.

  59. 93

    Katy P says

    I’m in! We’re in a major transition right now – selling our house and moving cross-country for my husband’s job in FOUR WEEKS and it is SO easy to take the tension out on each other.

  60. 94

    Carole says

    I have a wonderful husband, but with a new baby and a three-year-old stresses are high. I’m in – I want to make this a time that we get closer instead of letting the lack of sleep and new responsibilities push us apart.

  61. 96

    says

    I’m definitely in!!! I have been convicted lately (in a good way), that I tend to treat my husband as more of a second child than a HUSBAND! I crave words of affirmation, yet I don’t give it to him like I should. I am looking forward to this challenge and seeing where it takes us!

  62. 97

    says

    I’m in, but wow, what a difficult challenge. I would blog about it, but my husband reads my blog! The hard part of this – my husband takes many of my comments and requests as criticism. I’m not sure I can change that, but I can remove the actual criticism. I think.

    As part of this, I will have to pick up more of the load at home. My husband gets angry very easily when stressed, and takes it out on the kids. A large part of that is the burden I have put on him. I know that this probably isn’t the “right” way to start out this challenge, but this will be the hardest part of holding my tongue. Anyone have some good advice on how to stay positive if this happens during the 30 days?

  63. 98

    Jessica says

    I’m in. Although, I am sure this is going to be a very tough challenge! I have a tendency to speak harshly rather than lovingly, even if I don’t mean too.

  64. 99

    Amber Byrd says

    What perfect timing! My husband and I are just shy of two years married, we have a three month old, and my husbaand is really struggling with feeling unmotivated at work. We are right now at a point where we are vulnerable to some subtle but effective attacks from Satan. It has gotten too easy to take my husband and our great relationship for granted. We have allowed our realationship to plateau, and if we are not careful, it will start sliding. I think this challenge will be the perfect motivation to get us moving forward with intentional growth in our marriage again. I am very excited for the next thirty days! Thank you, Kristen!

  65. 100

    says

    I am in – hestiantly so. I would love for this challenge to spill over beyond 30 days!
    Not sure I say too much negative but this will sure make me aware when I do!!

    Thanks for the challenge and your transparency with sharing your marriage with all of us!

    Blessings!
    Janelle
    http://www.usmajcole.blogspot.com

  66. 101

    Melissa says

    I’m in! Thankfully I have a wonderful husband and marriage, so hopefully it won’t be too challenging! Good luck to all the wives out there taking this on.

  67. 104

    julie says

    We just found out my husband is not going to be deployed to the middle east. Most people see this asa a wonderful thing, but it is also a dissapointment to my dear husband. (It is hard to be left behind when the guys he’s trained with/taken care are going). Hubby could use some extra encouragement right now, so I’m going to take the challenge!

  68. 107

    says

    I am in. Love a challenge that helps focus on better my marriage and my relationship with my husband. I think because we are closest to our husbands it can be so easy to fall into giving him some of our worst. Yea for lifting up our husbands with our words!

  69. 108

    Lauren says

    Let’s do it! Perfect timing hubby will be back from the field so its a great time to start this challenge, prayers it transforms me!

  70. 112

    says

    Love this!!! Count me in ;)

    Several years ago, I made a praiseworthy deeds journal for my husband. Daily I wrote an entry giving him props for all the little things he did that day that can at times go unnoticed. Everything from doing the dishes to wrestling with the kids. He loved when I presented the journal to him as a gift several months later. I got the priceless gift of perspective.

    Thanks for the challenge!!!

  71. 113

    Susan says

    I did not think about doing this challenge. I did not think I needed it. Then I went to lunch with some friends today. I stopped myself on more than one occasion from saying something. Not necessarily bad but not good either. Thanks for the reminder. I have now accepted the challenge.

  72. 114

    says

    I need to do this. I used to be pretty good about not saying negative things about my hubby when I was with friends, but recently, I’ve been venting a lot about the negative. :( Thanks for making me aware of this challenge.

  73. 116

    MC says

    I’m all in….will be an absolute challenge due to all the craziness taking up our precious moments! Thanks for the challenge…it’s going to be an adventure. Thanks Kristen!

  74. 118

    says

    I linked to this on my blog and am going to repost from revive our hearts with the daily challenge as well. Hope you don’t mind. I’m linking to your post everytime.

  75. 119

    Mollianne says

    I’m in…but not for 30 days. I’m in for the rest of my life. Having lived through the heartbreak of a broken marraige and now basking in a healthy one, we both vowed not only the traditional vows, but also to learn from our past mistakes and to not repeat them. I am often humbled when people who work with my husband tell me that he always speaks of me in such glowing terms. He’s a colorblind, manly-man, not very sensitive rocket engineer and I adore him. I’m a girly-girl, paragraph-not-bullet-point, sometimes {okay, often} silly dreamer and he tells me daily that he loves and adores me. BTW…when I told him about your challenge, he said to thank you. Sometimes all the man bashing that goes on around us really gets to him.

  76. 123

    says

    I love this idea of encouragement & community. My marriage is the most important relationship on Earth, but I like most others, don’t always communicate that. It’s so easy to communicate disappointment or nagging when two little people swarm around and then “blah” on my hubby. I’m in! I’m going to send this to my close knit circle of friends too, so we can encourage one another to do it together:) thanks again!

  77. 124

    says

    This is coming at a good time. We’ve been married eleven years and have four kids. The youngest one is just five weeks old. I have to say, I am not the nicest person during late pregnancy and the early days with a baby. I’ve been thinking that I need to be more careful about my attitude towards my husband, so I’m definitely in on the challenge. Hopefully I will learn to be more careful about my interactions with my husband. I so want to be encouraging to him!

  78. 129

    Lori Harris says

    I love my husband and need to speak encouraging words to him more often! Thanks for the challenge! His love language is encouraging words!

  79. 132

    says

    I am up for the challenge! I need to do a better job of not being grouchy (I am 32 weeks preggo and very testy at times to him) and rather building my husband up, esteeming him.

  80. 136

    Shelly says

    I’m in Kristen. This is a challenge indeed, especially with my best friend. We have seen each other in the down and dirty, nitty- gritty of life with lots of home educated children and often vent in safety with each other. You know what though? My hubby needs me to have his back…for the next 30 days, doing that will extend to my tongue!
    Thanks for the push!

  81. 139

    says

    Today I opened my email to read this post.
    I read this part.
    How do you greet your husband each morning?
    I said, i can’t .Because he is at war. I’m that lady.So what do I do. I pray. Or I try to stop long enough .I turn and remember him. I thank God for him but for the distance.As Being away reminds me everyday why I love him so.
    If I got to say one thing today, the way he hugs us like the end was near.

    I will do the challenge. It might make me cry but i’ll do it .By the end of this challenge, there will be 20 days left to his duty.

  82. 141

    says

    sign me up, sister. giveaway or no giveaway, my husband deserves this of me and not just 31 days. thank you for encouraging other wives to step up to the plate. love you.

  83. 144

    says

    I’m in! I’ve done this before and it has been wonderful. I love finding new ways to encourage my husband, and it is amazing to see him rise to the challenge too. The more I esteem him, the more he wants to walk in a manner worthy of his calling. It’s amazing. The reason we got married was because we thought we could glorify God more together than we could separately. Thanks for the reminder to walk out this calling! P.S. I love the apparel on Union 28!

  84. 145

    Amber says

    This is a great challenge and I’m all in! I’m currently in my second marriage to a wonderful man who I am so lucky to share my life with. Thank you God for never giving up on us and for second chances.

  85. 148

    says

    Someone else gave me this challenge once, and I read through part of it. I NEED TO DO IT!!! Thanks for the kick I needed. I’m in.

  86. 149

    Sylvia says

    Thanks for the encouragement! I’m married to the most amazing man…but sometimes I forget to tell him. So I will make it a priority for at least the next 30 days to let him know what he means to me and how blessed I am to have him. Thanks Kristen for all you do to support marriages!

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