In my past eleven years of parenting, there have been moments when I’ve been absolutely desperate for a nod of approval from a family member or a friend or both-you know one that says, “it’s going to be okay, you’re doing a good job.” Just that simple act can brighten a mom’s day when she feels inadequate, exhausted, and is currently wearing the lovely shade of spit-up.

I guarantee there’s a mom in your life right now–a daughter-in-law, a friend, new neighbor with a baby on her hip and one in her belly, or you’re own reflection in the mirror–who needs a nod today.

What Every Mom Needs

Honesty

• It’s okay, really. My kids argued constantly. You will survive this phase. This is normal.
• I had a picky eater also. Once for a week, she only ate marshmallows and glue.
• I lost my temper, too. That doesn’t make you a bad mother, only human (in need of chocolate).
• Don’t be so hard on yourself. Every mother gets a year or so behind on well child checkups (RIGHT??)

Not-Too-Much-Honesty

• No, that’s never happened to me. My baby slept 8 hours each night since birth and was perfect. Something must be wrong with you.
• It took me seven years to lose the baby fat, too. It might take you eight (pats flabby arm)
• My kids never acted that way in public.  Are you giving them red dye?
• What is wrong with your child? <——–Don’t ever say that to a Mom.

Every mom needs to know:

——————————THEY ARE NOT ALONE————————————

Every mom needs to feel:

————————–LOVED WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS————————-

Every mom needs to be told:

——————————-THEY ARE APPRECIATED——————————

Every mom needs to believe:

———————————THEY ARE ENOUGH——————————–

Every mom needs to remember:

———————HE IS ENOUGH, WHEN THEY AREN’T———————-

Are you a mom? What do you need today?

In one word, what do you need?

I thought I’d be less busy once I returned from Kenya.

Hysterical. Only not the laughing kind.

Considering this week was a fast and furious blur…..

I even asked for a wife. On Twitter.

I’m trying hard to balance it all, not lose sight of what’s most important and glorify God in all I do. I’m not doing so hot, but I’m trying.

I’ve had half a dozen people volunteer to help me with Mercy House stuff this past week and had my socks blessed off, so I’m learning the art of delegation and letting go. And being thankful.

In other news, 2/3 of my kids are heading to the Grandparent’s farm for the week. I can’t wait to count ticks when they get home.

Oh, and also, I’m dreading school. Summer is flying too fast and the Christmas decor at Hobby Lobby irritates me.

This is what I look like (in Africa) when I’ve washed my hair in the sink, let it air dry and bathed with a wet wipe:

The exciting part of the busy week was AAALLLL the orders from the Mercy Shop. Thank you! Thank you! I Skyped with our darling girls in Kenya and told them how much everyone loved their creations. (FYI: I got emotional seeing our new baby snuggled up to her momma).

So, before I make this post any more random, I’ll tell you the THREE winners from the Mercy Shop giveaway:

Congrats to random commenters: Amy @ Tiny Blessings , Deb Wilson, Renee

71	8	66

Do have a happy weekend y’all. xoxo

Would I do it again?

This is the question people keep asking.

Would I travel across the world with my three young children again?

Yes.

I’m not a big traveler. I have neck and back issues that make flying and driving uncomfortable, plus I’m really a big homebody and a scaredy-cat. So there’s that.  And traveling with kids is never easy.

But I will do it again.

Here’s why:

• Traveling is temporary. As long as flights and delays may be, you eventually get somewhere. It’s a necessary evil. Sometimes it’s disastrous with vomit and poop and no change of clothes, while other times it smooth. Either way, travel is not the destination.
• Opening their eyes. I’ve lived a sheltered life and have been narrow-minded at times. Exposing myself and now my family to the vastness of the world can only improve and expand their world view. I think it’s healthy to remove ourselves from comfort at times.
• Kids are resilient. The things that I thought would be the hardest for them–seeing extreme poverty, going without water for three days, adjusting to a foreign culture, etc. were actually taken in stride. I learned a lot from my kids: they accept things for the way they are and are naturally compassionate.
• Living is a risk. Many people questioned our decision to put our children at risk in a third world country. But if I trust God with my kids going to public school, riding in cars, living in America, isn’t He the same God I trust while we visit another country? I don’t hold their little lives in my hands, God does.
• Be flexible. When you travel 26 hours straight, sleeping and eating on an airplane, your body and mind are pushed to limits you didn’t know existed. My hubby and I constantly reminded each other that we needed super-sized patience and flexibility with our kids.
• A careful plan. I think it’s extremely important to have a calculated plan with contacts and people on the ground to guide your journey into another country. I don’t think we should take our kids into knowingly dangerous places. It’s vital to use wisdom when we’re considering traveling overseas.
• Kids will be kids. At one point on our trip, our youngest was having a full-blown meltdown. We were tucked away in our room, but the entire house could hear her. We were a little embarrassed and there was some tension between my hubby and I. But then he put it in perspective, “She would be doing the same thing at home if she didn’t get her way.” He was right. We disciplined her and moved on.
• It’s only money. It is very expensive to travel overseas as a family. There are travel vaccinations, costly flights, rentals, etc. I’ve always been very tight-fisted with money…even a hoarder, trying to save as much as I can. But then God showed me the way the rest of the world lives. It just seemed wrong that I was piling it up for me and mine, when my brothers and sisters in Christ didn’t have enough for one day. When we were leaving Kenya, one of the sweet girls in the maternity home said, “Will you all come back?” I told her how expensive it was and she said, “But you have enough faith for God to provide all of this for us, won’t he also provide for you to come again?” Yes, I believe He will.

What do you think? Will you ever (or have you) travel overseas with your kids?

They were busy collecting baby blankets, dolls and toy accessories upstairs. I could hear quiet whispering and giggling, even brother was involved.

I didn’t dare disturb them. It had been a long, hard week, recovering from our trip to Africa. Laundry piles scattered and sleep coming at all the wrong times.

Then I heard: “PUSH! You can do it.”

MY KIDS WERE PLAYING MATERNITY HOME. Again.

I couldn’t help but laugh and let them.

It’s a lot better then what they were playing the week before…..

[The Masai are the indigenous tribe in Kenya that I wrote about last year. This tribe is known throughout the world for their practices of female mutilation and polygamy, as well as the blood they drink from cows.]

(I think my son was remembering how old boys are when they get circumcised)

Masai dress in red plaid, make beautiful beadwork and can be spotted in most parts of Kenya.

My mom bought each of my kids a little Masai figurine (women for my girls and an old wise man for my son) at a market and they played…..

(My oldest is making my son kiss his second wife)

polygamy all day.

“I’m his favorite wife,” my four year old argued with her big sister….until I made them play something else.

See? So birthing babies upstairs is no big deal!

*updated: please not the time is 8pm CST

Tonight, I’m helping host a Together for Adoption House Conference in Houston with Jason Kovacs and my church, Woodlands Point.

This isn’t just for those who have or want to adopt. This is for the church. YOU.

You don’t want to miss this amazing hour that will be live-streamed. You can watch here. at 8pm CST.  I’m excited to have the opportunity to be interviewed about Mercy House!

So y’all probably know by now, I like to write honestly. I don’t want to paint a picture that my life is always wonderful, my kids and hubby are perfect, and my laundry is always done.

Let’s not speak of that last one again. Because I’m pretty sure my family will reach perfection way before I’m caught up on laundry!

Our trip to Kenya was amazing. Life-changing. But hardly without comedic relief and the usual THAT family moments. There were a few days and situations that were just plain difficult. The following list isn’t an excuse to complain and not in any certain order, it’s just reality and the rest of the story….

• Traveling 26 hours straight with kids is quite the adventure. For the most part, my kids did really well-better than I expected. But we also picked our battles. For example, when my son wanted coffee, I let him have it and when my hubby wanted wine….um, never mind. Even when my youngest insisted on stripping down to her undies, who was I to refuse?

• At some point, my little girl found the emergency evacuation instructions and was pretty ticked off that our plane didn’t have a slide or cool yellow cups to breathe in. It also turns out the throw-up bags make handy puppets.

• We took Malaria pills, which isn’t that big a deal. Except my youngest doesn’t swallow pills. I became an expert in crushing pills and mixing them in various foods. Turns out peanut butter (the messiest option, of course) was the only approved choice by my 4 year old. She calls it her “special snack” and I’m pretty sure we might have ruined her favorite food forever.
• When we were vaccinating our kids for the trip, the pediatrician said most kids aren’t harmed by strange diseases, but the number one cause of death in foreign countries was from traffic accidents. So, I proudly packed a car seat, only to discover the vehicle had no seat belts! I prayed every time we drove anywhere. My little girl LOVES transportation in Africa. I wonder why?
• One thing I don’t think I’ll ever get used to in Kenya is traffic. Oh my. There are some seriously crazy drivers and bumper to bumper traffic is the norm. In certain areas of town, you have to keep your windows closed and phones down because it’s common to get things stolen thru the windows.

• Of couse, my kids haven’t ever met a stranger, so while we sat in traffic (sometimes for an hour!), they would wave and make faces at the hundreds of people walking in the city. At one point, I heard someone yelling “mzungu” and they were pointing at my youngest blowing kisses at people. (“Mzungu” means “white person” and since my daughter has such white blond hair, she got a lot of attention, which she loved).
• Temper tantrums- oh yeah, baby, even in Kenya. We mainly saw the temper when we made our youngest release the “pets” she caught every day. But once I found out that carrying a frog in a jar is considered voodoo in Kenya, I had no choice. Ya know? Oh, and she may or may have not referred to the Mercy House day guard as her boyfriend. I have no words, really.

• One of the most challenging things was showering. By the end of the day, my kids were covered in red dirt. The water was mostly cold. Ice cold. But we found out what’s worse than ice cold water? And that would be no water. We went several days with just a trickle and bathed using wipes. My kids loved it.
• Vomit-it happened in someone else’s house. But you’re not surprised, are you?
• I didn’t freak out when my kids were filthy or even barefoot. But when my son was chased by a teeth-baring monkey and my daughter petted a kitty covered in ringworms, I might have perspired a little.

• On our way home, my son’s backpack was considered an international security issue. Turns out that you can’t have a slingshot. Who knew? It was confiscated and he was very relieved not to be arrested.
• I ran into someone who reads my blog on the long flight home and enjoyed getting to know her. Only she didn’t recognize me at first BECAUSE I HADN’T BATHED IN THREE DAYS.

And that’s just the beginning my friends…..

I just returned from a third world country riddled with extreme poverty- the kind that sucks your breath from your body and causes a physical reaction.

I’m filled with smells and sights and stories I’ll never forget- not just from strangers, but friends. Friends like Annette, who live and work at Mercy House. She’s not an employee, she’s a sister.

Annette making our favorite Kenyan food, Chipati

I love this woman: Her quiet demeanor, beautiful smile, and talent for cooking! But her deep love for Christ doesn’t hide the pain in her eyes. The pain of loving and losing, the pain of leaving her children in her sister’s care so she can provide for them.

She takes two days a week off to go and see them. I handed her a bag with candy and small gifts. “Take these to your children. I’m sorry you have to leave them each week,” I said feeling so guilty as I watched mine play in the dirt nearby. Her eyes spilled with gratitude. “Please don’t feel bad. With this job, I am providing them a good life. They are happy. I can pay their school fees and much more … they can eat now.”

They can eat now.

Those words haunt me. I can’t help but think of my children, bellies round, full, when she speaks of hers. We are both mothers-different, yet the same. I gave her a deep, long hug, understanding her sacrifice. Recognizing her thankfulness.

I watched her walk away, home, her steps light.

We have five full time employees at Mercy House, plus a part time driver. Every one of them support many relatives with their salaries. Every one of them come from humble backgrounds we cannot fathom. They have known pain and suffering that could fill pages in a book.

And yet they all share the same: gratitude.

When I returned from Africa last year, I was riddled with guilt. I spent the next six months purging my life. And another six months responding to what I saw.

Friday night, when I walked thru my front door and the comfort of my home in America, I felt the opposite of guilt.

I felt innocence.

I felt the pureness of obeying God. The beauty of seeing His house of mercy being built on the other side of the world. The enrichment that comes from deep relationship. I saw hope in Africa.

I left with gratitude.

And that’s why I don’t feel guilty.

P.S.

Good, amazing, news!!!! Our sweet residents accepted Jesus into their lives!

The power has been out for hours….cooking over a charcoal fire, cleaning by candlelight and going to bed early.

My kids think it’s a blast.

We are now getting a full taste of Africa.

Goodnight!

(2 minutes of computer battery left)

Laundry in Africa.

[My update for the day will have to wait. I'm doing laundry BY HAND for our family of five. Oy. Going to hug my 10 year old washing machine when I get home.]

Whew!

Yesterday and today were so full and although I can barely keep my eyes open, I’m excited to share about our experiences.

After a 2.5 hours African church service

(a MUST experience in your lifetime), we traveled to meet Maureen’s mom and brothers. It was such a personal experience for me after grieving with Maureen’s family after the loss of her sister and nephew in April. We presented each other with gifts and she fed us her best in her tiny, tidy home.

We then took Maureen’s family to their first dinner in a restaurant in their entire life! It was such a joy.

We started Monday early with an hour of worship and a devotional, led by my husband. He taught the staff and girls different ways to study the Bible. Maureen said they pay a lot of money in Kenya at Christian conferences for such information. He did a fantastic job.

After a short staff meeting, we split into two groups: My husband led in Staff Development, specifically focusing on Servant Leadership and Conflict Management. My mom and I, along with my oldest, taught the girls how to roll paper to make beautiful art. [SOON TO BE SOLD HERE!]

The girls are such quick learners and absolutely love rolling paper beads for jewelry and art. I know they will enjoy each day this week as they learn a new skill each day.

We joined back together to learn Infant CPR and about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. The girls did great practicing their new skill on their dolls.

And the staff did great with team building games:

Our first baby is due in just two weeks, so the staff is working hard to teach the girls about breastfeeding and childbirth issues, along with parenting information for new moms. Cindy’s smile is blurry below, but I just had to show you the JOY. These girls love learning!

Maureen and I traveled to the local church (just a few minutes away) and had an appointment with the Pastor about how we can partner together. It went so well and I might have cried a bit when he prayed over us. Everything is just so surreal for me. We are so excited about the potential of having church members volunteer and support the maternity home.

Here is a tour of Rehema  House:  GOD had made THIS possible through YOU!!

If you ever have a chance to wake up to Kenyan girls singing praise songs acapella, I highly recommend it! Every morning the staff and girls have a time of worship and devotion, sharing Scriptures and testimonies.

Yes, I cried the entire time.

I was so touched by the atmosphere in the room. God was present. I could feel Him wooing this sweet, young girls to Him.

They ended the time with a lovely Kenyan rendition of Happy Birthday to my Mom-something I’m sure she’ll never forget.

Saturday is chore day-handwashing laundry, a bit of cleaning and cooking, but once the girls were finished they enjoyed watching their first movie with my kids.

The rest of the day we unpacked the remaining donations and organized them in the ample cabinet storage throughout the house, while my husband did some honey-do projects, like fixing the oven, and teaching the housemother how to make homemade loaves of bread (yes, he is a catch).

My kids were very busy catching large, scary green lizards and left a trail of crackers for the monkeys in the branches above.

You know, just normal Saturday stuff.

Our beautiful new-to-us van was delivered and Maureen took us a surprise visit to Safari Zoo down the road. It was so fun spending this carefree time with the girls.

This house is a work in progress, the girls and staff are learning how to live and work together like a family. The highlight for me was talking with the girls (they are so shy, but warming up to us more and more). One of them leaned in and whispered to me, “You are such a good, good lady to work hard and provide this place for us. Thank you. I love you.”

I looked her in the eye and said, “Anything good you see in me is because of Jesus Christ. You are so loved by so many. I love you, too.”

God is doing something really good in Africa.

[trying so hard to upload video and pictures...so check back later]