What Every Mom Needs

In my past eleven years of parenting, there have been moments when I’ve been absolutely desperate for a nod of approval from a family member or a friend or both-you know one that says, “it’s going to be okay, you’re doing a good job.” Just that simple act can brighten a mom’s day when she feels inadequate, exhausted, and is currently wearing the lovely shade of spit-up.

I guarantee there’s a mom in your life right now–a daughter-in-law, a friend, new neighbor with a baby on her hip and one in her belly, or you’re own reflection in the mirror–who needs a nod today.

What Every Mom Needs

Honesty

  • It’s okay, really. My kids argued constantly. You will survive this phase. This is normal.
  • I had a picky eater also. Once for a week, she only ate marshmallows and glue.
  • I lost my temper, too. That doesn’t make you a bad mother, only human (in need of chocolate).
  • Don’t be so hard on yourself. Every mother gets a year or so behind on well child checkups (RIGHT??)

Not-Too-Much-Honesty

  • No, that’s never happened to me. My baby slept 8 hours each night since birth and was perfect. Something must be wrong with you.
  • It took me seven years to lose the baby fat, too. It might take you eight (pats flabby arm)
  • My kids never acted that way in public.  Are you giving them red dye?
  • What is wrong with your child? <——–Don’t ever say that to a Mom.

Every mom needs to know:

——————————THEY ARE NOT ALONE————————————

Every mom needs to feel:

————————–LOVED WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS————————-

Every mom needs to be told:

——————————-THEY ARE APPRECIATED——————————

Every mom needs to believe:

———————————THEY ARE ENOUGH——————————–

Every mom needs to remember:

———————HE IS ENOUGH, WHEN THEY AREN’T———————-

Are you a mom? What do you need today?

In one word, what do you need?


Comments

  1. 1

    sandi says

    I am a proud Mommy of a 3yo boy and a 6 mth old boy, and this post is so true. Sometimes all I really need is to know that I am not invisible. Just because I am a Mommy does not mean that the rest of me disappeared. I am still ME! =) (I might also need for my husband to read this; although I don’t think he would get the hint.)

  2. 2

    says

    I once invited a friend over for tea in the afternoon, it had been a particularly rough morning with my 4 kids aged 6 & under, but I didn’t want to be impolite and cancel last minute.. During her visit she looked around and told me that my house reminded her of Lord of the Flies. Yup. That was a real ego booster right there. Guess we all have our moments!!

  3. 5

    says

    Every mom needs encouragement, right now, today… We are so hard on ourselves. Why don’t we just say “Great job” to the mom’s we meet today rather than moaning about the dishes or cranky mornings… The world of mom’s would be a so much better place!!!

  4. 6

    says

    All the above are true. I think what I need varies from day to day. I think what I need most is to know I am not alone when I feel I have the worst behaved kids despite my work and effort to raise them in the Lord.

    • 6.1

      says

      Rachel, I am right there with you. Somedays it seems no matter how hard you try you are fighting a never-ending uphill battle. Sinful nature stinks. I am often reminded that God is gracious and will cover every single one of my inadequecies. His mercies are new every morning. I have often felt like I am the only mom who struggles, yells more than she should and sometimes wants to hide. Thankfully, when you can be with a group of women(moms in particular) and be completely honest, you find that so many others are in the same struggle. Just so you know, from one mom to another, you are most certainly not alone

  5. 9

    says

    I need understanding, I have two new blessings who came with came with broken, hurting hearts. I need understanding to know that I am teaching them and loving them correctly

  6. 10

    Michelle says

    Seriously…AMEN to number 1 on the what I don’t want/need list! A friend told me her baby (2 months younger than mine) always slept 10 hours while I was about to snap on my 4 hours of sleep. I wanted to cry and kick her out of the house.

  7. 12

    says

    Today I need to remind myself that my kids will only be little once and that before I know it they’ll be spending most of the day at school. Maybe then my house will be clean. But for now I’m going to join them on the living room floor and we are going to play with legos. Who needs a clean house anyway? ;)

    • 12.1

      Marie says

      Pati: you are right! I try to remind myself of this everyday. I’m learning it’s ok to have a less than perfect house, and laundry always waiting because those things will always be there. Our precious little ones won’t.

  8. 14

    Crystal says

    I’ve always been jealous that my husband gets regular work performance evaluations. He’s constantly getting feedback on how he’s doing, whether he’s meeting expectations, etc. What do we get as moms? I wish it were SOMETHING!

    • 14.1

      says

      Oh Crystal, I totally agree! I have often told my husband that I need some sort of praise or acknowledgement for what I do every now and then. (We’re still working on that…LOL!)

      But I also know that there are those moments when one of my little ones comes up to me, puts their arms around my neck and tells me “I love you Mama. You’re the best Mama ever.” Treasure those moments and save them up for those days when you feel like you deserve to get fired from motherhood ;)

  9. 15

    says

    Patience. (especially difficult when the upstairs AC is out and dear toddler spends five extra minutes refusing each item of clothing I suggest. Gotta get back downstairs–like the house is on fire! Hurry up!)

    This post also reminds me of a botched mommy-support moment I had recently in the grocery. Another toddler-mommy was having trouble getting her child to stick by her, and with the child at one end of an aisle and she at the other, she said, “ok, I’m leaving. Bye!” and disappeared into the next aisle. I watched as the kid didn’t care one bit and the mom reemerged, frustrated, a moment later. Intending to express solidarity, I said in a surprised tone, “huh–that would have worked in our house!” I meant to express sheer surprise, indicating that I wouldn’t have known what else to do either, but I realized the moment I said it that it may have come across as “my kid wouldn’t defy me like that” (which OH YES, she would!)

  10. 19

    says

    I totally get what you’re saying with this post. I am a married (for 17+ ys) mom of three – ages 14, 12, 9. I have suffered with almost daily migraines for almost 10 years now, so parenting can be extra-challenging at times. But, I am so grateful. Why? Because what I think every mom needs, no matter how tough things are at this very moment, is to :

    1-Step back.
    2-Find perspective.
    3- BE GRATEFUL for how great a BLESSING it is to be a MOTHER.

    God gave you to your children for a specific reason and vice versa. Be you and be the best you God can help ou to be! Great inspirational verse and quote below! And btw, my 9 yr old still crawls in bed b/w me and my husband :)

    Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. –Psalm 127:3 ESV

    “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led diffcult lives and led them well.” — Theodore Roosevelt

  11. 23

    Rachel says

    I love this post……i have three kids (7 and under), the oldest with PDD-NOS (“graduated” from services, but with lingering issues). There are times I want to crawl under a rock because I often feel so responsible for my son’s issues – his biggest problem in life is that is he SO like me. If I were a kid today, I think I would be PDD-NOS too. But I constantly remind myself – God made him, not me. God knows better, not me. God is walking us all through this, sometimes kicking and screaming, but He knows best and I will follow.

    Even when no one else sees what we do and we feel like the invisible maid, God sees. He sees our hearts that push us to serve even when what we really want to do is flop in front of Food Network. He sees us losing sleep over sick children and nightmares. And yes, He sees me lose my temper, throw things and hurt my toe kicking the training potty in frustration (true story). And He uses those failings to teach me, mold me, and make me more like Him everyday. It is a daily effort to remind myself to be thankful, to trust God and walk obediently.

    I am eternally thankful for the opportunity to raise God’s kids, even when I want to scream like a banshee at them in Walmart.

    The occasional cupcake and coffee doesnt hurt either. Those are blessings from God too :)

  12. 27

    says

    I agree with another commenter: appreciation. Beyond that, I could stand to read this post daily for a few days (weeks). Also, my dad used to tell me to have a good day. He’s changed it to “Make it a great day for someone else.” I love that.

  13. 28

    says

    I needed this post today!!! :) It’s been a doosey! About 3 hours sleep dealing with 3 children awake at 3am, an ER visit cause I thought my Ty had broken his arm when he obeyed me at 4 in.the.morning and tried to get out of the sand table he was STANDING on but then fell out of onto the cement, trying to get someone to come watch my other 3 children without feeling guilty about not being able to take care of my own business while I took said child to the ER; dealing with a fussy, teething baby while also trying to do cornrows in my daughter’s hair so that we don’t get another un-asked-for comment at feeding therapy tomorrow about what I SHOULD be doing with her hair, then having to deal with a child screaming because his brother turned on the fan while he was on the top bunk and the blade of it knocked him upside the head… so I needed THIS… and especially the reminder that HE IS ENOUGH… ESPECIALLY when I sure don’t feel like it! Thanks friend for this today! And YOU- are appreciated, loved, not alone, enough and supported by the grace of a Father who is enough… don’t YOU forget that either! :)

  14. 30

    kristen says

    I just love all of you, moms. I’m praying that God gives you exactly what you need and that each of you knows how much you matter!

  15. 31

    says

    I’m the lucky mother of two darling girls aged 2 & 1/2 and 9 months.
    Motherhood is by far the most challenging role I’ve ever had – and as frustrating and exhausting it can be, I feel it is all worthwhile. Back in my single, white female days, I used to find comfort in the words “God will only give you what he knows you can deal with” and that beauitful “Footprints” story. I can confidently say that I never truly understand the impact of these words until October 11th 2008 – the day my first daughter was born. Your blog is also one of the best I’ve ever read. While Mothering can be hard work, especially on “off days” I’ve recently said to my husband we need to start turning the negative into positive. E.g. when both our daughters end up in bed with us overnight, we should be glad that they’re here at home with us, snuggled between us, not in some hospital ward, unable to be at home. Or when my eldest daughter won’t eat anything except rice crackers, I should be thankful that we have rice crackers to give her, and not be experiencing the famine like some African nations. Yes, it’s an extreme perspective, but I decided to start practicing what I preach. All we need is Love…everything else falls into place.

  16. 33

    says

    Mentor!

    I look around at all the older women and even those my age (I’m an older, first-time momma) and I just don’t see the character traits and godly training I desire to instill in my child. I’m far, far, far from having it all together and YES! I make many mistakes and find it hard to live apart from the world’s ideals. It would just be nice to have someone to fellowship with that would guide and encourage me. So thankful there are many wonderful blogs that are uplifting!

  17. 35

    Jenn says

    I just found your blog today. And what do I need…………this post of yours. I am the proud wife of and active duty Air Force man (almost 18 yrs). We have 4 daughters that we homeschool, ages 16, 13, 11, and almost 9. There are many days when I just want to throw in the towel and be done. I may be years past spit up and crying babies but the challenges just change. I truly appreciate your honesty here AND your encouragement. Thanks to this post I will look differently today (and hopefully past today) at those around me. Everyone we meet is facing a challenge of some kind, we have the opportunity to uplift and encourage them with our words. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, and THANK YOU again!!

  18. 36

    shaffy says

    i know it’s worth it being a stoned out, hair-pulling, frayed-nerves mum *this close* to abandoning my offspring when… my 5yo, who’s been in hospital for two days, wakes up, clouded from medication, still manages to whisper this: “thank you for taking care of me, mum”, before sliding back into medication-induced sleep. nevermind that i’ve hardly slept a wink, have not showered and looked like a homeless hobo. i felt i was the best-est mum in the whole galaxy!

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