97 Reasons You Might Be a Mom

 

You might be a mom . . .

 

1.     If having your wisdom teeth removed is like a vacation! -Tara

2.     
If streaking children no longer phase you. -Andi

3.     If you’ve ever wiped a snotty nose with your shirt! – Hope Yates

4.     If you don’t cringe at the thought of drinking after a toddler. Bleh.  -Mariah

5.     If you look for the parking spot closest to the cart return rather than closest to the front door. – Sandi

6.     If you realize you just watch a episode of Curious George all by yourself.
 -Holly

7.     If you wake up in your child’s bed and honestly don’t remember how you got there
– nebuchudnessar

8.     If you find yourself talking back to a kids cartoon… when the kids have been in bed for an hour already.

-Beth Lewis

9.     If you contemplate taking a shower or doing your hair, knowing you don’t have time for both!

- Linsay

10.   If you make silly faces into your van’s window while pumping gas.
-Melissa S.

11.   If you’ve ever felt guilty for doing something just for yourself!
 -Sarah

12.   If you shamelessly carry a potty seat around in a plastic bag, sometimes shoved in your purse too. -Bee

13.   If you’ve ever had to remove sippy cups, a diaper, a pull-up, treats from your purse before a night out with the girls.
-Amber

14.   If you look forward to them getting a cold (they’ll actually let you mother them (again!)
- Kim/Doodles

15.   If you’ve ever had a stream of pee hit your hair as you’re changing your baby boys’ diaper.
- Michelle Gullikson

16.   If you’ve ever yelled, “Stop hitting your sister with the monkey!”
- Lyndsey Resnick

17.   If you’ve ever said “Take the toilet seat off your head!” – I’ve said it…to two different children and two different times!
- Andrea

18.   If you have a cheerio stuck to your bottom from the kitchen chair at breakfast, stickers on your shirt and peanut butter and  jelly in your hair from lunch time you didn’t realize you wiped in your hair instead of on a paper towel.  - Melissa Porter

19.   If you speak of yourself in the third person, making reference to “mommy” throughout the day. -Sarah

20.  If you have fed all your kids supper, including 2 refills of drinks for one kid and 3 refills of noodles for another one, wiped up six spills off the floor and changed one dirty diaper, all before having a single bite to eat yourself! -Jennyroo

21.   If you’ve said, “What are you eating off the floor?” Then realized it wasn’t a choking hazard and said “Oh, okay.” -Jesica

22.   If you ride with your knees hitting the dashboard because the infant carrier takes up space in the car! – Melody Benschoter

23.   If you now realize CARS should be made with CARSEATS in mind (obviously not the other way around).”  -Jen

24.   If you are happy when you are able to get in a shower before your husband gets home from work. -Amanda Thompson

25.   If you have ever fallen into the toilet because you have 2 boys that never put the lid down! -Shana Anderson

26.   If the words, “Stop eating cat food!” fly out of your mouth more than once a day. –Kristen M.

27.   IF YOU HAVE NEVER FINISHED A MEAL!
 -Shellie

28.   If you’ve yelled, “No swordfighting by the stove while I’m cooking dinner!” (inflatable swords, not real ones!)

- Teish

29.   If you can make a song out of anything to keep a cranky kid from losing it while waiting.
 -Marie

30.   If you hide in the pantry to eat a doughnut!

-Marie Anderson

31.   If you honestly can’t remember the last day you showered– or changed your outfit. (NEW mom!)–Jen G.

32.   If your van smells like animal crackers.
 -Kelly G.

33.   If you can’t remember a full night’s sleep.
-Jennifer

34.    If your purse carries more toys and crayons than makeup and pens.
-Ivy

35.    If you’ve willingly used your sleeve as your kiddo’s tissue.  -Jen

36.    If you feel like everyone is staring at you-then realize you left the house with a burp cloth still on your shoulder! -Amy

37.    If you plan to camp out in the parking lot on your child’s first day of kindergarten–all day. -Lizzy

38.    If you only have 4 fingernails painted and the other 6 are bare because someone woke up from their nap too soon. 
-Christine

39.    If you make the same kid-pleasing meals over and over when you’d rather experiment with new gourmet recipes. -Lynn

40.    If you hand your child an iPhone without thinking twice.
 -Angie

41.    If your kids cover their ears when you wake them up with silly songs. -Kiki

42.    If you’ve cried yourself to sleep after comforting your crying child, knowing you couldn’t take their pain away, all you could do was pray for their peace.

 -Jamie

43.    If you have put a fallen pacifier in your own mouth to clean it before giving it back to a screaming baby. –Sarah Rogers

44.    If you realize half way through the grocery store that you forgot to snap your nursing tank. Oops.
- SarahJ

45.    If you can recite the entire movie Cars by heart.
 -Tonja

46.    If you purposely carry crayons in your purse… -Betty

47.    If your car has smashed goldfish and cheerios all over it. –Jennifer D

48.    If you grab the garbage can for yourself as you rush into your puking child’s room because you’re THAT sympathetic! -Jessi

49.    If when you change the sheets on your bed you end up playing the parachute game.
 -Kate

50.    If you love the smell of babies breath. -Laura

51.    If you have ever picked a nose that was not your own. -Jen

52.    If you choose to throw away an outfit because your precious had diarrhea while away from home rather than take it home and TRY to clean it.
- Jerry Tippett

53.    If you cut up the meat into tiny bite size pieces on the plate of your dinner companion (not a child). -Anita

54.    If you never seem to have “adult” bandaids and walk around with some character wrapped around your finger. -Kelly

55.    If you’ve ever tasted something to find out what it was doing somewhere where it shouldn’t be! -Amber D.

56.    If you’re so tired that you can’t remember if you took a shower yesterday… and when you take one today, you forget to wash the shampoo out of your hair before getting out and getting dressed. Rose Atwater

57.    If your kids can yell and you can tune them out.
 -Julie R

58.    If you find almost as many pocket-sized treasures (Legos, rocks, cars) as you do clothes in your dryer! –Christina O

59.    If you regularly choose sleep over eating throughout the day.” (new mom of a newborn!)
 -Jen U.

60.    If you let your sons “tinkle” outside when trying to potty train.
 -Rachel

61.    If you send your kids to school, counting the minutes until they return!
-Mary

62.    If you spend a few extra minutes in the bathroom just because you need a break. -Kristin

63.    If you washed a diaper in the washing machine (MORE THAN ONE TIME) and found what a joy it is to clean that gel ball mess up. -Jennifer K

64.    If you realize you’re singing along to children’s songs when you’re in the car alone!
 -Carey

65.    If you are still pulling hot wheels out of the couch cracks. – Sharilyn

66.    If you find toys under the covers in your bed! –Lisa

67.    If you put his candy wrapper in your purse without a second thought – and he’s 40 years old! -Linda Brendle

68.    If you can’t help but picture the cartoon characters voiced when you see and hear them in another movie or show. -Jammie

69.    If you have given up showers in place of baseball hats, yoga pants just to squeeze more minutes into your busy day! -Tara

70.    If you’ve claimed you bought the Oreos/Hostess cupcakes/swiss cake rolls “for the children. -Sarah at 32Flavors

71.    If a baby peeing through onto your clothes doesn’t bother you at all. -Deanna

72.    If you’ve ever caught yourself saying “No, there is nothing in the bathroom you can lick.” – Stephanie S

73.    If when your husband surprises you with a romantic night away and all you think is ‘I can sleep ALL night and sleep IN in the morning’….which is NOT what he had in mind.  – Michelle H

74.    If you’ve pulled out a train from your purse instead of lipgloss. 
 -Molly Nelson

75.    If when going to the bathroom is an event… mom, kiddos and dog! Don’t want to leave anyone out! -Natalie

76.    If you start talking ‘baby’ talk to your friends.
 – Abby Pedersen

77.    If you ever prayed for poop…..and then did a happy dance and praised God when it came. – Anna Waldmann

78.    If you’ve ever taken a baby into the bathroom with you! – Sundae

79.    If you have ever let you kids think you were “sick” so you could take a nap! – Lorie D

80.   If you have stopped caring that you went 24 hours without a shower while wearing a puke-stained t-shirt. -Kristen

81.    If  any child at the park calls “mom” and you look. – Carly Gonzales

82.    If you read “we are THAT family” and can usually relate. -Jessica

83.    If you have taken a shower while singing silly songs to a kid in a bouncy seat in the bathroom. Whatever it takes!  -Amy Jo

84.    If you consider it a privilege to bathe or go to the bathroom alone. -Miranda

85.    If you’ve read Good Night Moon a zillion times and can quote it. -Becky

86.    If you have a secret stash of “mommy only” chocolate! -Amy

87.    If you’ve ever said don’t do THAT, you could rupture your eye!  - Elva Jeanne Syvertson

88.    If you’ve frantically cleaned pee out of the booth at carino’s … more than once. –Tara

89.    If you carry baby wipes and boogie wipes in your purse.
-Melissa

90.    If you have stayed in one position in spite of leg cramps, just so you won’t wake the child sleeping on you. – Brenda Torres

91.     If your purse doubles as a diaper bag. -Jessie

92.     If you dread daylight saving time and the week that follows! -Emily

93.     If the sweetest words ever spoken after your child says mommy for the millionth time, you yell “WHAT” and she replies ” I love you” -Sharlie

94.     If you would never think of ringing a doorbell or calling between the hours of one and three in the afternoon. -Emily C

95.     If you walk out the door with everyone’s hair done but your hair in the rearview mirror is still a matted mess. – Racquel

96.     If you try to read this list out loud and you’re laughing so hard that you are crying and nearly fall out of your chair. -Andrea

97.     If you’ve gone from happy to sad to angry to frustrated to elated to disgusted to enraged all within a span of 30 seconds or so and all while in the middle of the grocery isle. I’m so glad I’m not a mom; I couldn’t do it… Kudos to all of you.
-Stephen

Happy (almost) Mother’s Day, y’all.

Thanks to all the moms who left these comments on a giveaway post a few weeks back. They are worth their weight in gold!


Comments

  1. 1

    says

    HAHA! Thank you so much for posting this. I needed a laugh (or three).

    I agree with and have done numbers: #3, 5, 6, 10, 11, 18, 19, 20, 21, 29, 31, 33, 35, 42, 47, 49, 50, 51, 59, 62, 64, 66 (with stickers instead of toys), 71, 75, 77, 78, 80, 82, 84, 85 (with other books), 89, 90, 91, 94, 95, 96.

    And, yes, yes I did just take time to list out all the numbers of the ones I’ve done. I love this list *THAT MUCH.* And now sending it to my husband.

    Thank you!!!

  2. 12

    Robyn says

    I can relate withg so many of those!! I must have missed the giveaway, but here’s one I often think of. When you are (finally) talking with another adult, and announce that you have to “go potty”!!

  3. 14

    Jessica says

    I love this! Sometimes you just need to know you’re not the only one out there…but I would like to add: If you’ve ever slept in a toddler bed with your child ( those of you who know how small that is…it was not a good night) OR while trying to type this got interrupted at LEAST three times!

  4. 15

    says

    These are awesomesocks hilarious! Love it! I can’t imagine cleaning a fallen pacifier in my own mouth— glad we chose to let her suck her thumb instead. Thanks for sharing this little mommy laugh!

  5. 17

    betsy says

    98. If you’re trying to read the list while trying to keep your baby from knocking everything off the desk
    99. if your reading this while telling your baby not to pull your hair
    100 If you are responding to this while dealing with squirming baby and a crampy neck bc ypu are holding your baby with one hand

  6. 18

    Heathr says

    I love it! I can relate to so many of them! I can also think of manny more and here is one…if you try (knowing its not going to help at all) to catch the vomit coming out of your childs mouth in your hands!

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