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Dear 22 Year Old Me:

August 15, 2012 by Kristen

We were packing the living room, surrounded by a mountain of boxes, when she found it.

Her eyes lit up as she held the white fabric up for size. “Mom, can I try it on? Please.” My almost 13 year old was holding my almost 18 year old wedding dress buried deep in the entry closet.

I hesitated. Not for sentimental reasons, just because I’m task-oriented and it would be another pause in the long road of packing up our home for the pending move.

But I just couldn’t extinguish her shining eyes. And we needed a break.

I love times like these, the ones where I live in the moment.

I swallowed the lump as I zipped the back of my beaded dress.

Then she turned around:

Her Daddy could hardly speak. A flood of memories, doubts and fears, dreams and expectations assailed me. It was surreal seeing my child, so radiant, wearing my dress. The last day it had been worn was the day I committed my heart and future to her daddy, eyes brimming on the other side of the room.

I couldn’t help but think about that young naive girl so long ago. There are a few things I’d love to tell her today. I will share them with the my daughter standing in front of me when she walks down the aisle in her momma’s wedding dress one day …..

Dear 22 Year Old Me:

This marriage thing is going to be harder than you think. But it’s also going to be better than you could ever imagine. “Marriage is made in Heaven, but so is thunder, lightening, hail and tornado.” -unknown

The big stuff you’re worried about won’t really matter. It’s the little things you need to know:

  • Remember why you fell in love
  • Be willing to compromise
  • Kiss everyday for various and numerous reasons
  • Respect each other
  • Laugh when you feel like crying
  • Don’t fret the God stuff
  • Leave the past behind you
  • Lock your bedroom door
  • 40 isn’t old
  • One day your little girl is going to look amazing in your wedding dress. Breathe.

18 years ago today, we fell in love, after 3 years of being best friends. Remember when we “accidentally” kissed while hugging hello and then got married 10 weeks later?

Yeah, after all these years, I love you even more. The best is yet to come.

Love,

the 39.5 year old me

35 Comments Filed Under: I love my hubby

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. 1

    Sylvia says

    August 16, 2012 at 1:03 am

    This is so sweet. Thanks for sharing this beautiful moment.

    Reply
  2. 2

    nebuchudnessar says

    August 16, 2012 at 1:19 am

    What a beautiful moment, your daughter looks so grown up

    Reply
  3. 3

    Jennifer V says

    August 16, 2012 at 6:48 am

    What a beautiful post! I have been married 19 years and everything you said is so true. I love that quote.

    Reply
  4. 4

    michelle says

    August 16, 2012 at 7:00 am

    so sweet! my daughter is 5 and hopefully she one day will want to try mine on! i’m 40 and been married almost 17 years and you’re note to 22 year old you is so true. its funny most people who really enjoy life seem to have a similar outlook. there must be something to that 😉

    Reply
  5. 5

    Christie says

    August 16, 2012 at 7:30 am

    Wow, love this!! Thanks for always sharing your heart!

    Reply
  6. 6

    Emily B says

    August 16, 2012 at 7:49 am

    Sheesh, Kristen! I’m sitting at my desk with leaky eyes right now…and she’s your daughter, not mine! LOL! I’m all choked up, too.

    Reply
  7. 7

    Penny says

    August 16, 2012 at 7:59 am

    Tears welled up in my eyes too. Absolutely love your post.

    Reply
  8. 8

    Beth says

    August 16, 2012 at 9:00 am

    She’s radiant.

    And totally agree with your list, also!

    Reply
  9. 9

    Nikki @ Christian Mommy Blogger says

    August 16, 2012 at 9:02 am

    Kristen, this totally made my eyes well up with tears! What a beautiful moment to be treasured! I have little girls. I also eloped with their daddy (7 years ago!) and don’t have a wedding dress. I struggle with feeling sad about that because I won’t have a moment like this, but that is really NOT what the moment is about, right? Thanks so much for sharing. I am a busy bee online and your blog is one of the few I can count on one hand that I still subscribe to and read each time. Keep it goin’ sister!

    Reply
  10. 10

    Jerralea says

    August 16, 2012 at 9:18 am

    Oh she looks so beautiful in that dress!

    Love your list of what you would tell a 22 year old. I especially like “leave the past behind you.” Very important!

    Reply
  11. 11

    Sharon Bruyere says

    August 16, 2012 at 9:49 am

    I don’t even know you and I just teared up. I have a 13 year old daughter and I related to this post so much. Thank you for your amazing precious words.

    Sharon

    Reply
  12. 12

    Sheila says

    August 16, 2012 at 10:06 am

    Oh wow. I’m crying. Love what you wrote and so wish this were me writing it. Divorce takes a lot away from you and moments like this are just one of them. I do hold on to the One that knows me and my desires and wants only what is best for me.

    By the way, your dress is GORGEOUS. Simply gorgeous. And your daughter looks amazing in it 🙂

    Reply
  13. 13

    Tere Scott says

    August 16, 2012 at 10:18 am

    OK, now I’m crying. This is beautiful!

    Reply
  14. 14

    Sherri says

    August 16, 2012 at 10:38 am

    I am 41 this year and have been married 21 years. My daughter is 14. This post spoke volumes to me and it really inspired me to write a letter to my daughter. Thank you!!

    Reply
  15. 15

    The Chatty Mommy says

    August 16, 2012 at 10:42 am

    Ok- your daughter is absolutely beautiful in your dress.

    And so would want to know more about your lock the door comment. If it is what I think- so have been there recently. lol

    Reply
  16. 16

    Courtney says

    August 16, 2012 at 11:05 am

    How sweet!! She’s beautiful and I bet you were too the day you wore that! :<} That picture reminds me of a cute idea I saw on Pinterest (where else??? :<})- it was a 2 or 3 year old girl "wearing" her mother's wedding dress. Very cute!

    Reply
  17. 17

    Tracey H. says

    August 16, 2012 at 11:26 am

    How sweet was this to read today!! This is the big 40 year for me too, I somehow have a child entering high school and will have been married 20 years!! Whew, no wonder the tears have been flowing lately:0)

    Reply
  18. 18

    Michelle says

    August 16, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Whew! 10 weeks later! That’s some amazing wedding planning!

    Reply
  19. 19

    hsmominmo says

    August 16, 2012 at 2:56 pm

    Teary-eyed here, as well. Now I’d like to see a side-by-side pics of your daughter and you wearing the dress.

    Reply
  20. 20

    Kim/Doodles says

    August 16, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    Frame that picture. Write a note to her future husband, and pack it away. What a gift for her (and him) to open on their wedding day!

    Reply
    • 20.1

      Crystal & Co says

      August 16, 2012 at 8:15 pm

      What an awesome idea!

      Reply
  21. 21

    Janet says

    August 16, 2012 at 4:15 pm

    Beautiful…. just beautiful.

    I don’t have a daughter yet… but I do have 2 AWESOME teen boys who are mighty men of God! Hallelujah!

    Kingdom Blessings,

    Janet Powers

    Reply
  22. 22

    Tracey says

    August 16, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    This is the best picture. It made me think about what my girls will look like in my dress, something I’ve never thought of before.

    Happy Anniversary K & T!

    Reply
  23. 23

    Pamela says

    August 16, 2012 at 7:50 pm

    How beautiful she looks! Thank you for sharing this incredible moment with us. Yes, it is the small things like this that count. I remember my 17 year old trying my dress on for size. My husband and I will celebrate 36 years together next month. We met in June, had 2 dates and were married in Sept. You have only just begun, dear friend! Always enjoy sweet moments and memories as these<3

    Reply
  24. 24

    Camille says

    August 16, 2012 at 7:57 pm

    Such a beautiful girl and I loved the letter. You have me crying here. I always enjoy your blog.

    Reply
  25. 25

    Crystal & Co says

    August 16, 2012 at 8:13 pm

    I have no daughters- only sons. I can only imagine what this must have felt like. She looks beautiful! I saw you post this on Facebook a couple of weeks ago and thought then what a fun moment this must have been! Good for you for soaking up this moment!

    And I LOVE this quote:
    ”Marriage is made in Heaven, but so is thunder, lightening, hail and tornado.” -unknown

    So very true. What I know about marriage today and what I believed about marriage when I was 21/22 years old are two very different thing.

    Reply
  26. 26

    Monica @ Equipping Catholic Families says

    August 17, 2012 at 10:06 pm

    Wow, your post got me thinking..really how far off is 23 from 16! I’m not sure if I could see my eldest daughter try on my dress just yet!

    Reply
  27. 27

    Lessons Of A Dad says

    August 19, 2012 at 5:47 am

    Lock the bedroom door. Yes, that’s a must! 🙂

    Beautiful post. My daughter would look beautiful in my wife’s dress. But then, I don’t think she’ll fit it. She’s only 12 and they’re already around the same height.

    Reply
  28. 28

    emma says

    August 19, 2012 at 6:39 am

    Awww!! this is the sweetest! I have no daughter so I won’t be able to experience this (too bad :(). But thank you for those quick tips :). I wish you and your family all the best.

    How about a picture of you wearing that dress also? 🙂

    Reply
  29. 29

    Lindsay says

    August 20, 2012 at 10:19 am

    Wait. What? kiss, 10 weeks, married? I’m so glad it’s working out for y’all, but I will *kill* Ruby if she tries that! 😉

    Reply
  30. 30

    Kelly @ Sufficient Grace says

    August 21, 2012 at 10:12 am

    This…

    “This marriage thing is going to be harder than you think. But it’s also going to be better than you could ever imagine.”

    So much the truth.

    Reply
  31. 31

    Molly Powell says

    August 22, 2012 at 1:16 am

    Loved this! I just celebrated a 25 anniversary and it caused me to have so many of the same thoughts, looking back on good but at times surprising years. I just blogged about it too… What I thought I knew verses what I know now. But I don’t expect my 6’2 270 pound offensive lineman son to be trying on my dress any time soon! So glad to find your blog and look forward to reading more. Blessings.

    Reply
  32. 32

    Molly Powell says

    August 22, 2012 at 1:21 am

    And 50 isn’t old either!

    Reply
  33. 33

    Savannah says

    September 2, 2012 at 4:38 pm

    It could be the pregnancy but I just teared up, so sweet!

    Reply

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