20 Things No One Tells You About Motherhood

I like to talk about mothering on Labor Day weekend.

That’s why it’s a holiday, right? Because moms work really hard.

Y’all, don’t burst my bubble.

So, I made a list.

  1. Lo, there will be much wiping
  2. The words “Working mother” are the same thing
  3. Your baby really is cuter than other people’s
  4. The bathroom will be your home office
  5. Birthdays don’t age you, kids do
  6. Kids wait until you get on the phone to ask you questions
  7. You will keep a running list of items that won’t flush
  8. You know what to do if you have a tire blowout, it’s the diaper blowouts, that will kill you in the end
  9. Whoever said not to cry over spilled milk, has obviously never pumped their own
  10. You need to carry wet wipes with you for the rest of your life
  11. You will wear your maternity jeans home from the hospital
  12. You wake up one day and realize your mom was right about everything
  13. Your kids will do all the things you said they wouldn’t
  14. When you have a daughter, your accessories will mysteriously disappear
  15. What they say is true: If mama ain’t happy…. no one is
  16. Those “last ten pounds” will keep you warm in the winter
  17. Your kids will hurt your feelings
  18. Your kids will make you feel amazing
  19. The will do both in the same day
  20. You wouldn’t trade your unpaid and overworked job for all the money in the world

What would you add?

Comments

  1. 2

    says

    You will sit down on the couch with the kids for “just a minute” and wake up three hours later when they ask you if you’re making dinner tonight. ;-) (Happened when I was pregnant with #4. I’m still amazed that the older three played quietly long enough for me to nap! LOL!)

  2. 6

    says

    oh this makes me smile. no one told me i would have to get creative with punishments….once, i grounded a boy from chopping kindling. and another from his miami dolphins jacket. whatever works…

  3. 7

    says

    No matter how old they are, they walk around with part of your heart and when they hurt you hurt worse. Can you tell I’m parenting a grown child who’s hurting.

  4. 9

    Kit says

    #10 is so true! And so is #12– I always wondered why my own mother had wet wipes on hand for forever, but now I’ve stolen that idea from her :)

  5. 10

    Demetria says

    Fun! Here’s a couple more…

    You can’t have it all, and that’s perfectly fine. Learn to be content.

    The kids will want to eat all of the time. Every day. Even when you’re sick ;)

  6. 16

    Linda says

    You really will have conversations with your sons about how superman underwear does not give you the ability to fly. You will also catch yourself saying things like “Don’t hang from the ceiling fan” while talking to your mother-in-law on the phone ;-)

  7. 18

    says

    Love this! I would add

    You will use your potty training child to get out of boring situations! If she says “Mommy, I have to potty” loud enough, everyone knows I ‘have” to take her. So what if we take our time & do some pit stops before we make it back! :-)

  8. 19

    says

    Number 9. Ooooooh, number 9. The agony of spilled milk….. Urgh…. I had major supply issues and let me just say that I am SO THANKFUL my kiddo is almost 2 and I am not currently nursing.

    New here as of late and really enjoying your blog. Thanks!! :)

    Dana

  9. 20

    says

    I have to be honest, I clicked on this post because of that picture. I am SO SO SO relieve my kid is not the only one who does that (despite repeated “No, no” warnings and time-outs … sigh).

    I just read #9 to my husband who laughed and said, “That’s clever. That’s so clever.” :~)

  10. 21

    says

    thats a pretty good list. The one thing that I find no one tells you about being a stay at home mom is that its much much harder than having a job. Everyone says its hard and a lot of work but no one really ever tells you that there will be many a day that you would will wish you could just throw them in daycare and get a day job. I am only 2 years in but I know in the end raising my children is worth so very much more than any salary I might get paid.

  11. 23

    says

    You will have to swing by the drug store and pick up laxatives, ginormous pads and Preparation H after you deliver you first precious child. How did they tell me every horrible detail of pregnancy and labor….and leave out that piece of critical information?

    Love #9. And I wore my maternity jeans for several years after having my babies.

  12. 25

    Katie says

    A secret part of you will be glad when your little ones are sick because it’s quiet and they want to snuggle with mommy! (just so they’re not too sick!)

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