How Many Days Does it Take to Have a Happy Husband? {Giveaway}

UPDATE: Comment #189, Megha and comment #298, HTriplett have been randomly selected as the winners of this giveaway.

With just a word, I can make or break my husband’s day.

I hate when I use misuse my influence and make my best friend feel defeated.

He’s a happy guy. Naturally upbeat, a dreamer, a hopeless romantic and I fell head over heals with his tan, muscular legs a hundred years ago.

As we’ve grown older together, I’ve discovered the impact a look or a word tossed out carelessly can have on him. Just the other day, I second-guessed a parenting decision he made (in front of the kids). Immediately, I knew I was wrong. If I would just hush, I wouldn’t have to apologize so much.

When I saw the title of this book, 31 Days to a Happy Husband, by Arlene Pellicane, I knew I had to dig in. I’ve learned in the last 18 years that having a happy husband has less to do with him and more to do with me. Ouch.

I love the author’s heart:

What motivated you to write 31 Days to a Happy Husband?

I’m in the stage of life where kids can take over (mine are 2, 5 and 8).  I see that’s the case for many wives who pour themselves into parenting or their career.  Husbands can be put on the back burner indefinitely yet the marriage relationship is THE priority relationship for any wife.  This book helps spotlight the husband for a change!

Why do you believe a wife’s affirmation of her husband is vital to a happy marriage? 

Your husband needs a cheerleader to lift him up in good times and bad.  Words from others mean something, but over and over, I heard that the words from wives mean the most.  We need to stop demanding perfection -making our husbands feel like they can’t live up to our expectations.  Instead we need to look for things we can sincerely praise.  Thank you for hanging in there at work.  I know it’s been a tough week for you.  You are so good at what you do.

What are the five guidelines regarding a D.R.E.A.M. marriage?

Domestic Tranquility – Your husband needs a peaceful haven.

Respect – Your husband needs to respected in his own home.

Eros – Your husband needs to be sexually fulfilled.

Attraction – Your husband needs to be attracted to you.

Mutual Activities – Your husband needs to have fun with you.

How can a wife focus more on the positive aspects of her husband than the annoying qualities? 

Start by having a thankful heart.  Remember how you and your husband met? What tugged at your heart about him?  Chances are those characteristics still run strong in your man.  Measure the good stuff, recognize the good stuff, and you’ll uncover many treasures in that man you live beside day after day.

What are some ideas to keep the romance and intimacy alive in a marriage? 

If you have kids and/or a busy schedule, you must schedule time for sex!  If you wait until the perfect moment, it may not come until next year.  So talk about how you are going to make time for intimacy.  Maybe one night a week is your special time to look forward to.  I highly recommend a regular date whether it’s weekly or monthly, and an annual weekend getaway.  Also, men tend to be more romantic than women.  They buy flowers and open doors.  We can also be romantic…writing love notes, coming to bed wearing something pretty, or cuddling up at every opportunity.

You remind couples that it is important they plan some time together (without the children). Why do so many couples forget to do this? What can they do together?

It’s easy to cave into the routines of life.  You have to really make an effort to still date after you’re married especially if you have kids at home.  My friend hadn’t gone on a date with her husband in years and finally they went to dinner without the kids.  At first, dinner was awkward.  They had forgotten how to be alone together without food to cut into tiny pieces or kids to hush.  The first date was weird but the next time they went out, they were more comfortable and talkative.  You have to keep making connections – just between the two of you.

Today, I’m giving away 2 copies of 31 Days to a Happy Husband! Leave a comment and tell me how many years you’ve been married (as your entry).

This giveaway ends on Thursday.


Comments

  1. andrea says

    hubby and i have been married for 6 years this coming sunday the 16th. hard to explain but it feels like just yesterday but an eternity all at the same time.

  2. Jennifer says

    We’ve been married for 19 years! Some have been easier than others. God has blessed us with 3 amazing boys who fill our lives with joy!

  3. says

    Either I really need this book or I am missing something. My husband and I have been married a little over three years and he is not the romantic, I am, which of course leaves me a little saddened sometimes. I would love for him to supply flowers or do romantic things, but he is more of a practical guy and shows his love by helping around the house, cleaning, cooking, and taking care of all yard duties. Anyway, I love him, and maybe I need to provide more of the environment the author suggests in the book.

    • Aundrea says

      Sara-
      Sounds like you all just have different love languages! My husband (15 years) and I do as well. It took us awhile to find our way in our marriage. I spent too much time focusing on why he wasn’t who I wanted him to be rather then who he actually was. The Lord finally got hold of me and told me to be the wife my husband needed, and leave the rest up to Him. What I learned is that by serving my husband in his needs (yes, all of them), not only did I fall further in love with him, but he began to become, in his own way, romantic. It wasn’t what I expected. It was better. Hang in there!

      By the way- I would LOVE to have a husband who’s love language was cleaning and cooking!!!! hee hee

  4. SarahH says

    We just celebrated 9 yrs of marriage last month. He is deployed, and even though we are physically separated, our love for each other endures. It’s been a year of ups and downs, and I know we have a lot to work on when it comes to nurturing our relationship, but through it all I am still amazed at the love and commitment we have for each other.

  5. Kelly says

    We will celebrate 32 years of married life in October. 32 years, 6 children, 5 grandchildren and a new baby due in April. I bet my husband would LOVE it if I won this book!;)

  6. Maria says

    We were married 21 years in August. We didn’t get to celebrate on our actual anniversary, so we have a ‘date night’ scheduled this week! : )

  7. Amy says

    I’ve been married for 10 years to a hopeless romantic. Our 10 years together have an absolute whirlwind but never a dull moment!

    • Kathie says

      Keep looking to God to fulfill your needs, he is faithful, loving and knows what you need. He is our hope and refuge. My husband and I just reconciled after a 6 month separation. We are closer now then we have ever been, but truly it was a miracle straight from God. We had to trust Him and be very open, honest and vulnerable to one another. And we had to admit we were angry in a loving and respectful way. There is a freedom in honesty. I am praying for you and know that God is in the business of successful marriages and miracles.

  8. Katie says

    9 years! Woot!
    Hi! I’m a newbie to your blog :) I laughed my way through… relating to many of the stories in your book. Thanks

  9. Amber Byrd says

    This is such a good reminder for me! We have been married just over three years now, and we are expecting baby number 2. Our 19 month-old son has had some frustrating sleep issues that are slowly resolving themselves; and as we finally come out of the fog, we have realized that we haven’t been working as intentionally on our marriage as we should have been. It’s hard to remember to focus on the needs of your adult spouse when your child is so demandingly needy. But we are definitely seeing that it is important to make a point to focus on them anyway. It pays off in the long run!

  10. Darby says

    heading on 16 years… can hardly believe it – but with 3 kids and full time homeschooling, i totally need to read this book!

  11. Lynnea says

    1 year this past July! Already seeing the evidence of my words being used for good, or being very discouraging! Would love to read this book before we are too far down a path we don’t to be!

  12. Amanda says

    My husband and I will be married 1 year on 10/8. It’s been a difficult year, as he has dealt with job upheaval and stress as well as a cancer diagnosis, which has taken its toll on both of us. I want to become more encouraging and supportive of him, and to be the wife God created me to be.

  13. says

    I suppose I don’t actually qualify for the give away…but then again…who better to win a copy of this book? You see, I have been divorced for almost 8 years. Going forward, I want to ensure my next union is a happy one. Basically…I want to learn from my mistakes. Thanks for the opportunity to win!!! (Oh yeah…I was actually married 18 years before Mr. Man took a permanent vacation from “us”.)

  14. Michele Gustin says

    We have been married for 22yrs and counting. God blessed me with this amazing man who has put up with me this long and he hasn’t run away screaming as we raise our 7 children.

  15. Katie says

    Married 1 year with 1 baby! I could use this book! Our lives moved so fast once we bought our house. We got married and were pregnant 4 months later. I wouldn’t have it any other way but we need help finding one another again and I need help on how to make it happen. We work opposite shifts 5days a week and only see each other on the weekend. I would love to make us feel like he did when we started dating 5 years ago!

  16. Tracey says

    We have been married for 19 years and are daily learning more and more about each other!! Love him to pieces, not always easy, but there is no one else I’d rather do life with!! Would love to read this book, read some of the excerpts to him and he smiled:0)

  17. Stephanie O says

    10 years…. We have been all over in the ten years because we are a Navy family. A year ago we were stationed back in VA… were it all started.

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