How Many Days Does it Take to Have a Happy Husband? {Giveaway}

UPDATE: Comment #189, Megha and comment #298, HTriplett have been randomly selected as the winners of this giveaway.

With just a word, I can make or break my husband’s day.

I hate when I use misuse my influence and make my best friend feel defeated.

He’s a happy guy. Naturally upbeat, a dreamer, a hopeless romantic and I fell head over heals with his tan, muscular legs a hundred years ago.

As we’ve grown older together, I’ve discovered the impact a look or a word tossed out carelessly can have on him. Just the other day, I second-guessed a parenting decision he made (in front of the kids). Immediately, I knew I was wrong. If I would just hush, I wouldn’t have to apologize so much.

When I saw the title of this book, 31 Days to a Happy Husband, by Arlene Pellicane, I knew I had to dig in. I’ve learned in the last 18 years that having a happy husband has less to do with him and more to do with me. Ouch.

I love the author’s heart:

What motivated you to write 31 Days to a Happy Husband?

I’m in the stage of life where kids can take over (mine are 2, 5 and 8).  I see that’s the case for many wives who pour themselves into parenting or their career.  Husbands can be put on the back burner indefinitely yet the marriage relationship is THE priority relationship for any wife.  This book helps spotlight the husband for a change!

Why do you believe a wife’s affirmation of her husband is vital to a happy marriage? 

Your husband needs a cheerleader to lift him up in good times and bad.  Words from others mean something, but over and over, I heard that the words from wives mean the most.  We need to stop demanding perfection -making our husbands feel like they can’t live up to our expectations.  Instead we need to look for things we can sincerely praise.  Thank you for hanging in there at work.  I know it’s been a tough week for you.  You are so good at what you do.

What are the five guidelines regarding a D.R.E.A.M. marriage?

Domestic Tranquility – Your husband needs a peaceful haven.

Respect – Your husband needs to respected in his own home.

Eros – Your husband needs to be sexually fulfilled.

Attraction – Your husband needs to be attracted to you.

Mutual Activities – Your husband needs to have fun with you.

How can a wife focus more on the positive aspects of her husband than the annoying qualities? 

Start by having a thankful heart.  Remember how you and your husband met? What tugged at your heart about him?  Chances are those characteristics still run strong in your man.  Measure the good stuff, recognize the good stuff, and you’ll uncover many treasures in that man you live beside day after day.

What are some ideas to keep the romance and intimacy alive in a marriage? 

If you have kids and/or a busy schedule, you must schedule time for sex!  If you wait until the perfect moment, it may not come until next year.  So talk about how you are going to make time for intimacy.  Maybe one night a week is your special time to look forward to.  I highly recommend a regular date whether it’s weekly or monthly, and an annual weekend getaway.  Also, men tend to be more romantic than women.  They buy flowers and open doors.  We can also be romantic…writing love notes, coming to bed wearing something pretty, or cuddling up at every opportunity.

You remind couples that it is important they plan some time together (without the children). Why do so many couples forget to do this? What can they do together?

It’s easy to cave into the routines of life.  You have to really make an effort to still date after you’re married especially if you have kids at home.  My friend hadn’t gone on a date with her husband in years and finally they went to dinner without the kids.  At first, dinner was awkward.  They had forgotten how to be alone together without food to cut into tiny pieces or kids to hush.  The first date was weird but the next time they went out, they were more comfortable and talkative.  You have to keep making connections – just between the two of you.

Today, I’m giving away 2 copies of 31 Days to a Happy Husband! Leave a comment and tell me how many years you’ve been married (as your entry).

This giveaway ends on Thursday.


Comments

  1. 169

    Pam says

    Kristen,
    This so describes me. My mouth and my careless looks of questioning get me into trouble with my easy-going husband so often. Not because he says anything, but I know by the look I receive back that I have wounded a part of him that will require more repair than a quick apology can provide. He is my hero for putting up with me over the past 11 years. I thank God for him and that He gave me someone who knows me, loves me, and continues to LOVE and not just TOLERATE me through every season of our lives and the learning we (really, just I) am having to do every day to make our love stronger! Would love to read this book!

    • 169.1

      Pamela says

      You just described me top a tee! I,like you, thank the Dear Lord He gave me my husband. I prayed every day as a teen that He would give me some one who would understand my crazy self! And Praise God,He heard my prayers. For the past 36 years,this month, I have thanked God every day for my wonderful hubby!And yes, I have been on the receiving end of some of those same looks!

  2. 174

    Kathryn says

    My husband and I will be married 7 years in October! It has flown by sooooo fast! We have an almost 2 year old daughter, and we have definitely found keeping “us” the priority harder than before! I, too need to hush more, and encourage more. Great post!

  3. 177

    says

    We’ve been married for 10 years this last June, and we’re getting ready to embark on our biggest adventure yet. It’s scary and exciting and I’m so nervous about turning into a harpy.

    This sounds like a great book. Thanks, WatF, for hosting this giveaway. /hug

  4. 180

    Katy says

    4 years and 2 kiddos. We are really starting to grow together towards God and the power up shutting up has been big on my heart lately!

  5. 182

    says

    You grabbed me with your FB status update: “How many days it takes to have a happy husband is usually related to how many days I hush my mouth!” I have become SO convicted that my major “contribution” to our marriage is what I do NOT say!

    Today marks 24 years since two crazy kids said “I do”…and truly had NO CLUE! ;-)

  6. 184

    Debra Stanley says

    We have been married 4 years, 10 months!!! We hit 5 years on November 17 of this year. It’s been a long hard journey with a blended family but God has been so good to us!

  7. 189

    Mindy says

    We have been married for almost 8 yrs! We have one daughter and just started Fostering a little girl and boy! This will help me focus on him!!!

  8. 190

    Jamey says

    In November my husband and I will be married for 8 years. I can’t say the first 5 were blissful! We are working on it now to build it up to what it should be, but I love him more now. So I know it can only get better.

  9. 193

    says

    We have been married 14 years. Yes its amazing how powerful words can be in your marriage. Its a lesson I wish I would have learned earlier but find in the last few years I am finally getting it through my thick skull!

  10. 197

    Stephanie says

    3 years married,11 years together. He’s a good man for taking the backseat while I run around managing kids, house, work, and so on. I just need to remember to tell him that more often. If it weren’t for him, there would be no home to make.

  11. 200

    Lindsay says

    We’ve been married 3 years and are just starting to try to have kids. We’ve been working on strengthening our marriage so that when kids come along, we are strong for them and for us. I completely agree with you about working on ourselves (me). We will never be able to change our partner, but if we focus on ourselves and what we can do better, we ultimately are happier for it and your partner will respond.

  12. 212

    jenn says

    3 and a half years:) but yep, me too, I have the same problem you do… I speak much to quick and with realizing it I judge his decisions or his dreams… I would love this book ! Thank you for this chance:)

  13. 213

    Heather Overholtzer says

    As of this August, it’s been 12 years. It hasn’t all been storybook romance, but I consider the tough tines growing pains. We’re better together today than a decade ago, and we’re definitely better together than apart!

  14. 218

    Samantha says

    We’ve been married for nine years this last June. I’m careless with words I use towards my sweet husband all too often.

  15. 221

    says

    7 years for us too! And I totally agree…it’s hard ti figure out how to keep dating with a little one in the house and another on the way! Not so conducive to romance and intimacy. Would love some help and insight into that!

  16. 223

    Helen says

    Eight and counting. I never thought marriage would be SO HARD, but it is also SO incredibly WORTH IT! Apparently, opposites really do attract. Fortunately, over and over and over again! :)

  17. 224

    Amanda says

    We have been married for 7 1/2 years after dating for 5….with three boys 6,3 and 10 months our marriage does seem to get pushed onto the back burner sometimes. :(

  18. 229

    Dawn Uselding says

    We have been married 9 years and are now raising 3 grandchildren. I found it illuminating how important a
    a peaceful home is. That is a challange with 3 grandchildren ages 4,6 and 7.

  19. 240

    Shani Pearce says

    3 beautiful years….but sadly it’s very easy to fall into these patterns with crazy schedules and little ones. This book sounds amazing!

  20. 241

    Amber says

    I have been married for 13 years and have an 8 and 3 year old. I must admit I often pour myself into my kids and my career while pushing my husband to the side.

  21. 245

    Melissa says

    7 years. And with a 2 year old and a full time job out of the home, it’s very easy to let my honey fall to the side. I would love this book.

  22. 246

    Anna says

    In one month we’ll celebrate our 5th anniversary!! No kids yet, but we’re starting the process to foster babies, so I’ll need to make sure hubby isn’t neglected while dealing with the kids!

  23. 248

    Danielle F says

    We met 17 years ago and married 14. While we have had our share of rough patches, I can honestly say I love him now today than I did 14 years ago.

  24. 252

    Hilary says

    We’ve been married 11 years! My husband is my high school sweetheart, and now with two kids, ages 3 and 7 weeks, I could definitely use a reminder about how to encourage him. So much of my energy goes to the kids!

  25. 254

    says

    We are going on 8 years in November and just went through our 7-year crisis. Wish I would have had the DREAM formula a couple months ago, we are doing much better, but would really like to read this book. Thanks for hosting!

  26. 265

    Andrea C says

    In November, Mike and I will be married 12 years. We’ve been through some big challenges together, and SO glad we stuck it out. Our marriage is the best it’s ever been :)

  27. 266

    Tina M says

    Married 12 glorious years…working on 13 and my marriage STILL rocks. He is the most perfect spouse for me. I thank God every day for him and would marry him again in a second.

  28. 269

    Dee says

    I am so excited to hear about this book! I have been married to my husband for 8 years. I went to a women’s retreat recently and we touched on the power of our words and attitudes. Extremely convicting!!! But a lens to see what kind of wife I am truly called to be!

  29. 272

    Lydia says

    4 fantastic years! I have birth to our first child this year. It’s been a big change. I would love to read this book.

  30. 276

    Sharon says

    We celebrated 16 years this June! We’ve had some rough times, recently three years of my husband being unemployed, but God used it to draw us closer to Him and to each other. My mouth often gets me in trouble—I have been convicted lately that I need to be quiet more often and I don’t have to have the last word. Would love to read this book!

  31. 281

    Gen Green says

    We married in 2000. It’s perfect – I never have to do the math!! This book sounds like an amazing (and very necessary) read!

  32. 294

    Lindsay says

    14 years on November 1. I married my high school sweetheart. We have two small kids. There have been some hard times, mainly due to taking each other for granted. We are working on being a better us. I know I could use this book!

  33. 295

    H Triplett says

    A few days short of 17 years. A month shy of our 16th, he walked out. I don’t want to ever lose him again.
    We have some friends who are fighting for their marriage right now. I know this book would help them, too.

  34. 296

    Wiggy says

    Blissfully for 4 ~ love that you shared the little tidbit about “having a happy husband has less to do with him and more to do with me”, oh so true!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>