Mom of All Trades

MacGyver was a hit show in 1985. I was 13 years old.

Why yes, that does mean I turn 40 this year.

Thanks for asking.

I tweeted the other day, “It’s 9pm and I’m so tired I can hardly stand. This is what it must feel like to get old.”

Womp womp womp.

So, I loved MacGyver because every week the dude saved the world with a paper clip and duct tape.

“If I had some duct tape, I could fix that.” -MacGyver

SO BASICALLY HE WAS LIKE A MOM.

In my parenting journey, I’ve learned that necessity (truly is) the mother of invention:

  • I’ve unlocked the bathroom door with a paperclip because my toddler was creating “bubble world” behind a locked door and let’s just say the door (walls, counter, floors, ceiling) were too slippery for her to get out.
  • I’ve used a garbage sack as pants for one of my kids.
  • I’ve left same child’s pants under a rock on the side of road.
  • I’ve created and worn duct tape accessories with my tween.
  • I’ve used a baby bottle as a hammer. (What? Something needed to be hung on the wall).
  • I’ve nursed a baby while standing in line for a ride at Disney world without losing my place or my shirt. Oh yes, I was THAT mom.
  • I’ve stolen batteries from every remote control in the house to bring a noisy toy back to life so my fit-throwing child would hush.
  • I’ve used my daughter’s Bubblegum Lip Smacker Lip Gloss for a diaper rash on her baby brother. She’s still bitter about that, but it worked!
  • I’ve used the car a/c vents to cool steamy chicken nuggets.
  • I’ve removed super glue from sealed baby lips.
  • I’ve applied pressure to stop my child’s bleeding with a maxi pad.
  • I’ve used my hubby’s pocket knife to trim nails while camping.
  • I’ve hung dog poo tennis shoes outside the driver’s window until I got home to wash them.
  • I’ve made people.

Okay, ingenious mothers, what have you done?


Comments

  1. Laura Akers says

    Just last week I nursed my baby in line at Disneyland! Hey, the ride stopped for a medical emergency and we were close to the front and he was hungry!

  2. says

    wow. that is hilarious stuff!

    mine are still little so I haven’t done as much yet! but I’m looking forward to it! :D my little guy is quite the adventurer so I’m sure I will have some crazy stories to tell as he gets older! poor baby girl better watch out!

  3. says

    I’ve pumped in the backseat of a moving car while feeding my daughter a bottle at the same time. I wish they would invent a pump with a nipple attachment for such situations.

    More practically but less impressively, I recently learned that Mylanta or Maalox makes a super-duper diaper rash salve. When Desitin wasn’t working on a particularly nasty rash, the ped office recommended Maalox, dabbed on with a cotton ball and topped with some Vaseline. Cleared it right up!

  4. Maria says

    Slugged a Gatorade and climbed over the seat to help my son go pee pee in the middle of Chicago traffic while on a trip. Because, well….the next exit was too far away and there was TRAFFIC, it’s CHicago and who knows what is at THAT exit!

  5. tonya says

    oh, the things a mom will do! these are great!

    let’s see, a few of the things i’ve done:
    –macgyver’d by daughter’s swimsuit with 2 ponytails when it broke on a ride at sea world
    –made both my kids change clothes on the side of the highway after an unfortunate cherry icee accident
    –saved frozen breast milk for about 10 years simply b/c i couldn’t bring myself to throw away the “liquid gold”
    –learned ever.single.word to the backyardigans b/c my son wanted me to know the songs too
    –listened to the wiggles continuously from kansas to michigan and back to keep a 2yr old from screaming

  6. says

    My Mom was in the drive-thru at the bank when the teller asked her why she had a roll of duct tape on top of her car. Mom stepped out of the car grabbed the duct tape and replied, “I’m like MacGyver, I never leave home without duct tape.” Absolutely true story!

  7. says

    I almost fell out of my chair laughing while reading this post! I too will turn 40 this year and remember watching in amazement as MacGyver would save the world every week. I don’t know that anything I’ve done as a mom tops your stories, but I have nursed while leaning over the carseat while my husband drove. Turns are tricky. Let’s just say I could use a little plastic surgery to lift these sisters up. I’ve also unintentionally sprayed an unsuspecting child with breast milk when trying to get everything back where it belongs while I sat on the floor board of my SUV after nursing the baby. ;)

  8. says

    I’m still a new mom, but my most MacGyver moment thus far was realizing I could use a baby bottle as a measuring cup when we lived in Israel for a year and I didn’t have (and couldn’t afford) a “real” measuring cup.

    I can feed the four of us for a week on $20.

    I can make a toy steam roller out of tape, toilet paper rolls, and paper clips.

    • Kimber says

      I used a sippy cup, and baby medicine droppers, as measuring cups and spoons when we were in Argentina for two months. :o) I couldn’t find any, and I had sick kids who wanted biscuits. So I made them!

  9. Kirsten says

    I used a safety pin, nuk type pacifier and a straw to feed my 3 week old premie with horrible latch issues when I forgot both already expressed milk and a bottle. Oh… Also a coffee cup from gas station. Hand express. pull milk into straw and place into pacib that now has a hole. I never forgot a bottle again,

  10. Julie says

    I ALWAYS use the AC vent to cool nuggets! My older girl is fine with hers, but my 4 yr old still needs her cooled off. You can see me driving down the road, with one hand on the steering wheel and the other with the nuggets and french fries in their containers with the air blowing on them! Hey, it works! Doesn’t everyone do that??? :-)

  11. Colleen Sorensen says

    I have had my son pee in our cat’s litterbox in a moving van while traveling cross country. That way we didn’t have to stop and it clumped up and I could just throw it out the window.

  12. Deb says

    Haha, your list got funnier as I read down it! I confess to doing a few of those things, too.

    My recent MacGuyver moment: white duct tape to fix my daughter-in-law’s wedding gown last Saturday. If you have a wedding coming up, buy the white duct tape. It is worth its weight in GOLD!

    Thanks for the comic relief! I needed it.

    Debbie

  13. says

    Can I brag on my own mom? We lived in Texas when I was growing up, and I had never seen snow except on television. When I was, oh, 4, there was a freak snow storm, and I was NOT going to miss playing in it!…but we had absolutely no snow gear of any kind, including boots. My mom gathered all the bread bags in the house, stuffed our feet into them, and secured them to our calves (or in my diminutive case, my thighs) with big rubber bands. Voila snow boots! Go-go Gadget Mom!

  14. says

    I have pumped breastmilk in every place imaginable, numerous airports, airplane bathroom, the Pentagon parking lot, a NASCAR race, Google headquarters. Maybe not ingenious, but definitely worth it.

  15. says

    I have nursed a baby in a moving car on an interstate: Dad driving, baby buckled in the seat, Momma in the backseat LEANING OVER THE CARSEAT. (Why, hello there, Mr. Trucker…sorry ’bout that.)

  16. Jessica says

    I’ve used multiple power tools to create the perfect sized coffin and head “stone” for Lavender the bunny, to build tree houses and bike ramps and barn-door headboards.

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