We spent the first 5 years of our marriage surviving-hard jobs, finances, infertility and more. The next 5 years of our marriage we spent struggling-kids, career changes, finances, freedom and forgiveness. Then during the next 5, we discovered our sweet spot.
But the last 3 years? Whoa. Maybe it’s because we decided to live scared, but it took years to unlock the door to hot monogamy, And now that we’ve found the key, we are never going back.
Lean in, I’ll whisper the secret (since this is a family blog and all)…..
:: serve your spouse::
Not what you were thinking, huh?
I think we skip right over serving because it’s sounds so, well, servant-like. But I’m telling y’all, that’s where it’s at.
And by service I don’t only mean, picking up their clothes, running a dreaded errand for them, hushing instead of nagging, surprising them with their favorite drink, having sex when you really don’t feel like it, ETCETERA. I’m also talking about putting aside your own desires, interests and dreams occasionally and helping your spouse pursue theirs.
When my hubby turned 42 in September, the kids and I surprised him with NASCAR race tickets. My hubby has been an avid NASCAR fan since college (go 24!). About a hundred years ago, when he was considering a career switch from full time ministry, we talked long into the night about direction and the future. When I asked him what he really wanted to do in life, he answered drive NASCAR. He was kidding. Sort of.
So, this past weekend we traveled to the Texas Motor Speedway to watch the race, my first. We got there early because my hubby knew I’d love to add in a visit to a huge flea market nearby. It’s not his favorite thing, but he enjoys that I enjoy it and serves me like that. Rabbit trail: Look at this fun red shelf he carried all the way to the car for me:
and this tin Texas on my wall:
The race was hot and there was a lot of walking. We were surrounded by rednecks galore and the blood alcohol count around us was epic. We blocked out the deafening speedway noise with intercom headsets and we had an awesome time. Do you know what I loved most about being there? Being with my hubby and and sharing something he loves with him. In that crazy, loud place, we fell in love all over again.
On our late night drive home, we held hands and talked about how much fun it was to spend the day with each other. It was fun for our kids to see us enjoying each other’s interests. It’s hard for them to know where he ends and I begin…
We’re one month away from 18 years and I just want a million more.
Unlock the door to the marriage of your dreams by serving your spouse, even when they don’t deserve or return it. God will honor it!