This little email came last week, at a time when I needed it most.
Some days I feel so alone.
This might surprise you: I have had my ups and downs in this life–in my marriage, in mothering, in being wrecked, in the God-sized dream I struggle to live out. In all of those seasons, there has been a constant struggle-a common thread, a foe I know well.
Not loneliness as in I don’t have anyone, but feeling alone in my struggle and journey. It’s why I started this blog more than five years ago. I was reaching out to encourage other mothers and to feel less alone.
I still struggle with it today. It looks different in every phase of life; it’s taken a completely different face in leading a nonprofit, but it’s there.
And yet, I know, I KNOW, I’m not alone.
But it remains the ugly weapon the enemy uses against me almost daily. And since it’s been a theme of my life, I wonder if you might feel it too?
Here’s what God is teaching me in my struggle:
- It’s a lie– I am not alone. I have an amazing family, a fantastic church, a wonderful support system, a host of people I have never met who said yes with me. I am not alone. Everyone might not understand or support me in my specific journey, but I am not alone.
- I need to believe– It’s one thing to say we’re not alone, it’s another to believe it. Even when I feel utterly isolated and misunderstood and unappreciated, I have God. He is always with me. And when the expectations I put on others fail, I have to believe it isn’t intentional. It’s just life.
- I can’t live isolated– It’s my tendency to do things alone. I’m an introvert and I’m happiest in a quiet house all by myself. It’s not even sad or depressing, I am energized this way. But I can’t accomplish life alone. I need community. I have to step out, ask for help and accept it.
I’m not giving up and I refuse to give in. I know I’m not alone.
And wherever you are on life’s journey, you’re not alone either.
Thank you for being here. xoxo