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40 Things I’ve Learned in 40 Years

December 19, 2012 by Kristen

I celebrated my 18th wedding anniversary and 40th birthday this week while the world wept.  Sorrow still clings, but life goes on.

I hate that it does sometimes. It seems like time should stand still, school should be canceled, and jobs abandoned with the loss of such innocence. And women who are too young to turn 40, don’t.

Life continues, but we are never the same. Armed policemen frequent my kids’ schools, my children’s questions have gotten harder and my answers, fewer. With unprecedented tragedy that shakes a nation, we hold our babies closer, we beseech God more and sadness mingles with joy this sacred season.

I’ve learned a lot in my journey and I still have much more to grasp. 40 things I’ve learned in 40 years:

  1. Getting bangs makes you feel 35
  2. And makes you *think* you’ve lost 5 pounds
  3. Parenting gets harder
  4. Marriage gets hotter
  5. I will struggle until I die
  6. The sadness in our world makes me long for His Kingdom on earth
  7. The “baby” weight is just called weight after 40
  8. Going with your twin sister to get a nose ring on a Thursday night at 8pm will make you feel 40 years old
  9. Backing out, even older
  10. I will always be old to my kids
  11. But never too old to believe in things I can’t see
  12. I will always have a frequent shopper card to the emergency room (product of being in THAT family)
  13. It’s okay to pass up a good deal if you don’t need anything
  14. It’s good to break rules every once in awhile
  15. I will never catch up on laundry
  16. I’m okay with never catching up on laundry
  17. Life’s too short not to say I’m sorry
  18. The urge to have another baby will pass (hopefully)
  19. 40 is a good year to get a puppy (hint, hint, honey)
  20. Sweet tea catches up with you
  21. Asking your hubby for an exercise bike for your birthday will put him in a pickle (he got me sassy boots instead)
  22. I just don’t have time for everything (I’m looking at you Twitter)
  23. Age brings freedom: I just don’t care about some things any more
  24. Having a slew of 20 and 30-something moms ask you for parenting advice will humble you every day
  25. Related: I still don’t know what I’m doing
  26. I need God more today than I did yesterday
  27. And also chocolate
  28. Babies grow up too fast
  29. Then one day they are smarter than you and they know it
  30. Never let them in on this knowledge
  31. Write even when no one reads
  32. It’s okay to believe you are beautiful
  33. And It’s okay for your beauty to have nothing to do with the way you look
  34. There’s no shame in being yourself
  35. God is full of good surprises (yesterday I got one for Mercy House that floored me!)
  36. To be absent from the body, is to be present with Jesus
  37. Be happy–dream big, live scared, this is it
  38. Be kind to others.
  39. Be good to yourself.
  40. Evil will never win

29 Comments Filed Under: My Life

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. 1

    Susan says

    December 19, 2012 at 10:21 pm

    Happy birthday! Your writing is such a blessing to me!

    Reply
  2. 2

    bridget {bake at 350} says

    December 19, 2012 at 10:47 pm

    This is such a great list!

    PS…I was SO relieved to read #9.

    PPS…HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

    PPPS…that “weight”? It plumps wrinkles. Don’t tell me otherwise.

    Reply
  3. 3

    Wendi says

    December 19, 2012 at 11:10 pm

    Happy birthday Kristen and happy anniversary. Welcome to the 40’s, they really are great years. I smiled and related to so many things on your list. 🙂

    Reply
  4. 4

    Brandi says

    December 20, 2012 at 12:32 am

    Happy Birthday! Thank you for being a blessing to me!

    Reply
  5. 5

    Shannon says

    December 20, 2012 at 6:19 am

    Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary!

    Reply
  6. 6

    kendal says

    December 20, 2012 at 6:23 am

    well, i love this list. and somehow i missed that you have a twin (i know, i know, it means i’m a sporadic reader….) i have a twin, too and she is my best friend and we would giggle and chicken out of nose rings too but it would be one of our favorite nights ever.

    Reply
  7. 7

    Amanda @ Damanda Lynn says

    December 20, 2012 at 7:08 am

    Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary! I love your list, it made me smile!

    Reply
  8. 8

    Monika S says

    December 20, 2012 at 7:33 am

    Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary! Keep writing!

    Reply
  9. 9

    Amanda says

    December 20, 2012 at 8:23 am

    I need to accept #5. I’m not going to wake up one day and it will be magically easier. It might not always be the same struggle, but it will never be easy. And apparently I need to get bangs.

    Reply
  10. 10

    Melanie says

    December 20, 2012 at 8:44 am

    I can’t even tell you how much I love this!!! Some of these I have learned… some I’m still learning. Hope you had a great birthday.

    blessings,
    Melanie

    Reply
  11. 11

    Dawn St Amand Paoletta says

    December 20, 2012 at 8:48 am

    Love this…great list and thoughts. Nice to meet you! Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Um, happy “end of the world day” (tomorrow and all the other times it is supposed to happen and was supposed to happen yaddayaddayadda) and more so Happy Anniversary!

    Reply
  12. 12

    Melissa S says

    December 20, 2012 at 9:36 am

    Happy birthday and anniversary! I don’t comment much, but always read. You are doing amazing things!

    Reply
  13. 13

    Tamara says

    December 20, 2012 at 9:36 am

    I love #31 the most…write even if no one reads! Great advice. Because someone, somewhere will always read it. =) Merriest of happy New Years!

    Reply
  14. 14

    Crystal says

    December 20, 2012 at 9:54 am

    Happy celebrating to you. I wonder what will be on my list when I turn 40?

    Reply
  15. 15

    Jenny says

    December 20, 2012 at 10:48 am

    Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary! God has blesses you with being real and down to earth and thats something special! Thank you for being yourself 🙂

    Reply
  16. 16

    Penny says

    December 20, 2012 at 11:17 am

    Love it
    Happy Birthday and Happy Anniversary!

    From an old one too 😉

    Reply
  17. 17

    Kristi M. says

    December 20, 2012 at 11:45 am

    Love your list! I turned 40 yrs last year and celebrated 18 yrs of marriage this year. I can relate to your 40 things! 🙂

    Reply
  18. 18

    Sandi says

    December 20, 2012 at 11:46 am

    Happy Birthday & Anniversary, and thank you for this list! I am looking forward to growing in wisdom and true beauty. 🙂

    Reply
  19. 19

    Haley says

    December 20, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    Happy Birthday! and thank your for this blog : )

    Reply
  20. 20

    Amy W says

    December 20, 2012 at 1:37 pm

    I adore this list!!!! I just celebrated my 39th birthday a few weeks ago and decided to write down 39 things I want to do before I turn 40 and then do them! I love the idea of this too and may just need to do this myself next year. I especially like #24 and 25.
    Happy Birthday (& Anniversary) Kristen!
    Please keep writing!

    Reply
  21. 21

    CW says

    December 20, 2012 at 2:17 pm

    Happy birthday! I’ve enjoyed reading your blog; may the Lord bless you.

    I know this is presumptuous, but I feel the need to say: maybe the urge to have another baby is from God. Perhaps He has plans to reward you (Ps. 127: 3).

    Reply
  22. 22

    robin says

    December 20, 2012 at 3:35 pm

    #36 gave me goosebumps. So true. Happy birthday!

    Reply
  23. 23

    Renee@Joyful Mom says

    December 20, 2012 at 4:33 pm

    Happy Birthday! Happy Wedding Day!

    Your writing makes me happy–

    Be Blessed.

    Reply
  24. 24

    Jessica says

    December 20, 2012 at 5:38 pm

    Well said. Forty brought a lot of inner freedom to me as well. I am so grateful for the years the Lord has given me. Thank you for your blog and for your ministry. Yours is one of the few blogs I still read. Partly because you are a Texan and I can relate at that level, but mostly because you are real and honest, qualities that I greatly admire. Thank you.

    Reply
  25. 25

    Beth Ingersoll says

    December 20, 2012 at 8:10 pm

    Happy everything!

    I’m close to 40, but I could have the same list right now! I love #37: Be happy–dream big, live scared, this is it

    Amen, and amen!

    Reply
  26. 26

    Brandi Hansen says

    December 20, 2012 at 9:25 pm

    Happy birthday and anniversary! Thank you for speaking what I am thinking at times but just don’t say!

    Reply
  27. 27

    Beth says

    December 20, 2012 at 9:26 pm

    I just love this!! Happy Birthday Happy Anniversary to You!!! Thank you for your blog. I truly enjoy it!

    Reply
  28. 28

    Laura says

    December 21, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    Love love love this post; maybe my favorite ever! you must include this in your NEXT BOOK! (hint, hint)

    Reply

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