How Grief is Changing the Way I Live

Within minutes of hearing of the seriousness of my sister-in-law’s condition, I had regret.

While I packed bags and arranged flights, I prayed and cried and wished for just one more chance to speak to her.

It had been just over a week since we’d talked last. Why couldn’t I remember my last words to her? Did I tell her I loved her? Why did we choose a family vacation at Christmas over a family visit? She knew we loved her, but I could have done more…been a better friend, sister.

Maybe it’s the road of grief that asks these questions, this place is foreign to me, yet is fills our home and my husband’s eyes.

It’s been said that grief doesn’t change you, it reveals you.

It has uncovered much in me.

And while I can’t change the past, undo or redo moments I didn’t know I would regret, I can let this sea of mourning change my future. In the past few days, I have learned the intimate power of grieving with a spouse, answering hard questions of confused children, holding onto the hope of God.

Grief is changing the way I live:

I will say what’s on my heart more and not let it be assumed.

I will follow thru with the urge to call or write.

I will make tough decisions (update my will, create a living will, etc)

I will hug and touch more.

I will be quick to forgive.

I will not put off tomorrow what God is prompting me to do today.

I will not regret.

I will choose love.

I will let this grief be an anchor in my life.

“Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place.” -Sarah Dessen

Life is precious. In this moment.

Live it to the fullest.

Comments

  1. 4

    says

    Precious blog that touches me in my heart. Grief is changing our lives and the Lord is teaching me to see things in perspective of eternity . Now I will count the blessings round me.

    I am thinking of you!

  2. 5

    says

    My brother died in September. I try to not live with regret, we had no clue, it was sudden, but every day I remember that tomorrow is not promised. I hate that his death changed me for the better, but I’m thankful that grief is not being wasted.

  3. 6

    Kristy K says

    The last words I spoke to my brother before he died were “I love you.” We had often argued and had very heated disagreements, but i praise God that we parted that day with those words instead of something I’d regret forever. I regret plenty of things, but that is not one of them.

    There are blessings, even in this sadness.

  4. 7

    says

    The book, “A Grace Disguised” by Jerry Sittzer is a wonderful companion while you grieve. I have read it many times and given away many copies. It truly is a help.

    Praying for you as you grieve.

  5. 9

    says

    Losing my daughter suddenly changed me in so many ways. I do realise the importance of the moment I suffocate my children with love scared that they could leave without them knowing how much they are loved. I do risk things more, I stop waiting and do.

    Losing someone of course makes you reevaluate life. Each moment to be cherished, memories to be made.

  6. 10

    says

    Grief does change the way you live. Our family has been living with grief for over a year now. And, sadly, it still hurts. Although the hurt comes lest often, it surprises me how the little things will overwhelm me with thoughts of them. It’s a consistent reminder that each day is a day to be lived and loved fully.

  7. 11

    says

    I’ve been on this grief journey for 10 years. I have just started writing about it in the lst few months at my blog. Every Friday I write a heart lesson. Sometimes there just are no words for the pain you feel. I found that God wanted me to unlearn some things. Just stripped me bare of all my pride. See my book list for some great help. God is ever faithful.

  8. 12

    says

    praying for you. Grief does change. I remember how my Dad’s death changed me….

    and last night my son’s best man Chris’ parents house burned down. His mom was missing…. they just found her in the house. So sad. In an instant… life changes.

    Hugs and love.

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