Within minutes of hearing of the seriousness of my sister-in-law’s condition, I had regret.

While I packed bags and arranged flights, I prayed and cried and wished for just one more chance to speak to her.

It had been just over a week since we’d talked last. Why couldn’t I remember my last words to her? Did I tell her I loved her? Why did we choose a family vacation at Christmas over a family visit? She knew we loved her, but I could have done more…been a better friend, sister.

Maybe it’s the road of grief that asks these questions, this place is foreign to me, yet is fills our home and my husband’s eyes.

It’s been said that grief doesn’t change you, it reveals you.

It has uncovered much in me.

And while I can’t change the past, undo or redo moments I didn’t know I would regret, I can let this sea of mourning change my future. In the past few days, I have learned the intimate power of grieving with a spouse, answering hard questions of confused children, holding onto the hope of God.

Grief is changing the way I live:

I will say what’s on my heart more and not let it be assumed.

I will follow thru with the urge to call or write.

I will make tough decisions (update my will, create a living will, etc)

I will hug and touch more.

I will be quick to forgive.

I will not put off tomorrow what God is prompting me to do today.

I will not regret.

I will choose love.

I will let this grief be an anchor in my life.

“Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place.” -Sarah Dessen

Life is precious. In this moment.

Live it to the fullest.

1. Our first Mercy House event and luncheon of the month was amazing with guest Maureen Owino. She is so well-spoken and passionate. And very sassy. Check out the video clip here. 
   
2. She read this beautiful letter to the crowd, written by our precious girls at the maternity home.
3. Maureen had her first trip to Hobby Lobby.
4. Someone’s going to get her first throw pillows!
5. We spent the morning in the cold Mercy House building organizing and Maureen got a taste of what I do several days a week. One of which would be falling off a chair I was standing on to reach a shelf. Call me Grace (and sore). 
6. Kenyans aren’t used to freezing weather. She asked if it would snow (Houston, Texas and my kids wish).
7. We visited Chick Fil A again (and were blessed with a free lunch)! The employee just happened to hear Maureen speak the day before and wanted to bless us. She did.
8. Maureen only woke up 4 times last night (jet lag is for the birds).
9. My kids were telling her about roller coasters and she said they are like “death and resurrection.” And followed that up by my favorite question of the day:
10. “Why does the government allow roller coasters??”
11. She watched her first episode of America’s Funniest Home videos (and loved it).
12. She woke up from a catnap this afternoon to blood curtailing screams from my 6 year old who was NOT jumping off her bed. Her busted lip, gums and pool of blood proved otherwise.
13. Maureen cradled my baby and hushed her while I felt faint and woozy. 
14. She listened to her “sister” play her flute and laughed her head off at our howling dog. (She still can’t believe there are doctors (veterinarians) for pets.
15. Maureen did several carlines with me.
16. I was photobombed:
17. We laughed and joked and talked and I am continually amazed at her big heart and how much she teaches me about wealth, poverty and God.
18. We scheduled a health checkup for her at a family doctor’s office.
19. She told me stories that made me weep and I realized (again), I can do and give so much more.
20. I have been reminded over and over how easy my life is. From laundry to dinner preparation, to shopping and living. I have no reason to complain.
21. Perspective is everything.
22. We went on a mini shopping spree –first scented candle, sassy insulated cup and much more!
23. She has blended into our home and family just like I knew she would.
24. I can’t wait for the next 24 hours!