For When The Mother In You Is Desperate

UPDATE: Comment numbers 67, 492, 461, 151, and 264 are the randomly selected winners of this giveaway.

“I’ve had enough. I’ve had just about ENOUGH of the arguing and fighting!” I yelled.

My kids stopped the squabbling mid-argument. I took a deep breath. Finally.

And then my daughter whispered one word under her breath, an insult directed at her brother.

A dam broke. I said things I shouldn’t have. I was angry. I left my children standing in the kitchen.

And I closed my bedroom door.

I headed straight for the bathroom and locked it.

That’s when I felt it, desperation clawing it’s way into my heart. I couldn’t breathe.

I’ve been here before. Last week and the one before.


I feel inept as a mother a lot of the time. I try. I try really hard and I connect with my kids, we laugh and talk and I get it right some days. But it’s the days in-between, I wonder if I’m undoing the good I’ve done.

Motherhood turns you inside out. Sometimes you feel overwhelmed by how tired you feel; the days go on and on, and you want to be a “good” mom, but you feel like a failure so much of the time. -Desperate

We don’t have a manual or how-to instructions that come with our children. It’s trial and error. It’s good and bad. It’s hard and easy. It’s heartbreaking and breathtaking.

I take a deep breath and lay my anger, failure and desperation at His feet. In that dark bathroom, I receive grace. Grace to breathe, to mother when I don’t know how.

Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson’s book is like oxygen to a mother’s body. It’s simple, yet often-forgotton permission to accept grace in motherhood. They challenge mommas to lean on God and others who are further down the road during the joyful and challenging days of raising little humans.

If you’ve ever felt desperate as a mom, this book is for you.

Today, I’m giving away FIVE copies of Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe.

We often don’t talk about the desperate moments because we’re ashamed. There is power in sharing them–it frees us and offers encouragement to others.

Please leave a comment if you’ve ever been a desperate momma (as your entry).


  1. 1


    Today when the 5 year old not only snuck all Valentine’s candy in her room and ate it before 7 am, and then on a sugar high stuck 50 pushpins in her wall and unraveled Christmas lights from our back patio to smash them with a stick because “I wanted them to be colored lights, mom, not white ones,” then the dog peed in the house and the fence blew down and I’m pregnant and I just thought “Jesus, please – I cannot do this another day.”

    Yeah – I need some grace and I relate. It is HARD. So I say with you, “Jesus please” and I look for new mercy tomorrow.

    Love the post.


  2. 2


    I just brought my daughter home from the hospital a few days ago. Now when my husband leaves for work every morning, I’m home with a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a few day old. The word “desperate” certainly feels like an appropriate description of most days around here.

  3. 4


    between this post and the one from yesterday? you have described nearly everyday of my 16 years and 37 days of being a mom…uffdah. so much truth in so few days….

  4. 5


    Oh my gosh I literally *just* sent an email this past weekend to some friends saying that I wanted to read this book and do the study guide questions that come with it. With a 1-year old and a 3-year old, hoping to have more, and living overseas trying to learn a new language, I definitely feel desperate about all the time!

    • 5.1

      Jamie says

      Michelle, I live overseas too! And have small children. And feel desperate at times. I read this book in 3 days partly because I read it during nursing sessions with my third baby but mostly because I craved a life saving message of grace. Hang in there! From one overseas mama to another… :)

      • 5.1.1


        Thanks for the encouragement, Jamie! It is good to hear from others who know what I’m going through, because it sure is a different kind of life than living in the States! I need to get my hands on this book asap!

  5. 6

    Kirsten says

    I feel this way everyday. I find myself apologizing to my son all the time, and reality is, he is a good kid. He’s just not developed into a miniature adult. I don’t know why I expect him to be.

  6. 9


    Wow, what a great sounding book, I must read it.
    My daughter is almost 3 and pushes all of the time, just found her cutting a cake (for playgroup and it was out of the way)………

  7. 10


    My 13yo son has been on edge for the past few weeks. It has been incredibly tiring. We think he needs more sleep, but we’ve been unsuccessful at making that happen. We’re considering drastic changes. Like pulling him out of school and homeschooling. The frustration level in our house has been high. Yeah, we’re desperate. And those desperate moments have happened many times. After all, that 13yo is the oldest of 6.

  8. 11


    We’ve been waiting for 18 months to be matched with our two kids from Ethiopia, and yesterday got word that it may take even longer. I know they’ll give me desperate moments, but right now I’m just desperate to hold them!

  9. 12

    Kelly says

    I’ve certainly been a desperate momma! But, maybe the more we accept that adjective, the more we will rely on Jesus’ grace and seek His help.

  10. 13

    Shannon Fox says

    Oh goodness! I have 11 and 7 year old boys, and a 5 year old girl. Most days I feel fairly capable with the little ones, but the 11 year old and I butt heads like it’s our job. *sigh*

  11. 14


    Ugh. You put into words so well just exactly how I feel… Most days. And we’re ending a VERY long week where we (hubby, then 4yo, then 6mo old, then me) all had the flu!! Baby boy is still coughing so so badly and I’m one worried wreck, still exhausted from the flu and running on very little sleep. Desperate seems an appropriate term!

  12. 15

    Rhonda says

    My children are grown, married, and have children of their own, but I remember many desperate days. Days when I was sick and caring for two little ones, days when the challenges of parenting two daughters seemed overwhelming. Now that my daughters are parents I try to remember and help them as much as I can. I want to encourage them and let them know that those feelings are normal.

  13. 16

    E.G. says

    I’m not a mom, but as I read this post I kept thinking about all the relationships where I so often feel like a failure – with my sister, my mom, my friends. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed feeling like I’ll never get it right. I feel like I keep saying the wrong thing, I’m selfish, I’m not modeling Christ through my words and actions. There are tons of good moments, of course, but when I fail I feel so bad and so insecure. I definitely need to receive God’s grace. Thank you for ministering to me through this post!

  14. 18

    Jan says

    I have 9, 8, 6 year old boys and a 3 year old daughter. Those days when I need grace are…well daily! I’m so thankful that Jesus doesn’t leave us to raise our children on our own. The book looks great, thanks for having a give away. I may have to get it regardless!
    Thank you for your honesty on your blog!

  15. 21

    eva scott says

    I have a 4 year old and an 18 month old. Sooo many desperate moments every day. It will be a good moment, then not so good moment. Very thankful for God’s grace!

  16. 22

    Mandy S says

    When I felt overwhelmed with the number of “Mommy”s I heard in an hour, and I hid in my bedroom and read a fashion blog for a few minutes, then came back out feeling a bit refreshed, only to find them grating several blocks of cheese onto the tile floor in the living room…yeah, I felt desperate.

  17. 23


    Sometimes I feel like I must be the only mother who screws up so many times, and then I read this and think ‘whew, I’m not alone!’ It’s hard when you try so hard only to feel that in one moment you’ve undone everything good.

  18. 24


    Five kids. Three come from very hard places in their life prior to adoption. Two worlds collide every day, and I frequently have desperate moments when all I can do is force myself to take deep breaths and ask God to hold me and move me forward and give me His wisdom.

  19. 26

    Carley says

    I must admit I’m blessed so far. I have a one year old who is (so far) very easy. But #2 is on the way…and I know my desperate times are coming!

  20. 27

    Mel says

    Desperate is my middle name…I constantly seem to lose patience with my kids, and then I feel horrible because I know that they are still young and are completely acting their age.

  21. 30

    heidi says

    My husband is going on a 6 week business trip next week, leaving me with a preschooler, a toddler (who has just decided she wants to potty train, but only when she’s in the mood for it), and a cranky-pants infant. I feel frazzled to the core when my husband is around and helping. These next couple months are for sure going to make me more desperate than ever!

    • 30.1

      Hilary says

      Heidi! My husband just returned from four weeks of travel, and I have preschooler and a 7-month-old baby. I’m going to pray for you these next six weeks. I felt exhausted and frustrated and frazzled–and I tell you that because I also felt guilty, like I should be relishing every second, like all the other moms whose husbands travel for work wake up happy and magically showered with brushed teeth. Certainly they make flaxseed pancakes for their kids, with fresh-squeezed OJ, before taking them on beautiful outings where no one cries and the baby never spits up all over the mom’s only clean shirt! I’m learning how to show myself grace and not to beat myself up for having hard days. (LOTS of hard days.) I pray you will, too–and that people will come into your life to shore you up while your hubby is away.

  22. 31


    Yep, yes, absolutely. Felt it, struggle with it, and pray hard against it. God is changing my heart, but I still struggle with lots of momma guilt. Pick me!

  23. 33


    I feel this way so often. We do not have outside help or any family in town, so nearly 100% of the time, it is just US doing everything. All the time. No breaks unless we hire expensive sitters. And I feel like some days I’m going to crack! Then there’s a new day, then I feel like I’m going to crack again. Crazy-making stuff! I would love to win a copy of this book!

  24. 34

    Karen says

    Oh yes! We’ve been through many ups and downs of desperate. Most recently our oldest struggles with her in-between-ness as a 10 year old. How I need to grow in grace and lean into Christ, not relying on me!

  25. 35

    Vicki says

    It’s good to know I’m not alone. Thank you for the reminder that God does give me grace – if I only remember to ask for it.

  26. 36

    Kaitlin L. says

    I feel desperate often (as a homeschooling momma of 4, there isn’t much “time to breathe”) – would love to read this!

  27. 37

    Amy says

    We all have our desperate days…I feel a few more coming on now that I’ve added our newborn girl in the mix with our 6 year old son!

  28. 38

    lydia says

    I have been eyeing this book for a while now. As a mom to 4 under 7 (oldest of whom is autistic) the word desperate is a very descriptive term for my life! I will get this book eventually but boy would I love to win one!

  29. 41


    Yesterday morning I was desperate at 7:46 a.m. I’d been out of bed less than an hour. I’m thankful this morning is different. But, yes, I know the desperate moments well. Sometimes I tell the kids I’m using the bathroom, but really I’m just catching my breath.

  30. 42

    Chris says

    When I read this post, I wondered who had seen and heard what happened here in our home…seemed much too familiar. Lots of tears from this mama, and frustration that I couldn’t be a better example of unconditional love to my children…desperate…yes, that’s me these days.

  31. 44

    Diana B says

    YES!!! I get so frustrated when I look around and it “appears” that other moms have it all together. We need to be more willing to be honest with one another, to know that we are not alone. I have a 5 (almost 6) year old boy who is strong-willed to say the least. And a 3 year old girl that is a darling little diva. I adore my children. In the same breath, there are days when I want to tear my hair out. WHY WON”T THEY JUST LISTEN??!! I struggle to remind myself that it’s about their hearts, not about their behavior. Whew!! This is not for wimps.

  32. 48

    Deb says

    I thought I knew desperate during the sleepless nights of baby/toddler hood but having teenagers gives that a whole new meaning. At 16, 18 and 19, these kiddos making “forever” decisions makes me desperate…………thanks Kristen….

  33. 49

    Jennifer says

    So desperate! When 2 of your 3 kids are as head strong and as stubborn as you are, it makes for eventful times. Add into the mix the “I want to live with my dad because he is more fun” and desperation hits you smack in the face. I cannot even count the number of times that I head for my room just to find solace and have a good cry.

  34. 50

    Deanna says

    Yes! My daughter just turned two, but she can already push buttons. :-) She’s learning it can be fun to be loud and destructive and I’m needing to learn more patience to go along with it. . .

  35. 51


    I’ve been wanting to read this book since before it was released. :) My desperate moments of late are that we just moved from a perfect home to an old-fixer-upper and in the midst of all the renovations and me trying to unpack and organize things in a smaller home, my kids like to go in the other rooms and destroy everything I’ve just done. Sometimes I just give up. But I know it’s all good. Just nice to hear it now and then and would love to read this book. Great stuff!

  36. 53


    I started reading this post and, honestly, I thought to myself, “Hey, how did she know that’s how my morning went?”. I’d just plopped down in my desk chair preparing to start my work day after a hectic morning getting the kids (& hubby) packed up and out the door. Here I sit feeling awful that our day started out this way…especially because today is my son’s birthday. Fantastic. Ugh. Thanks for posting this and letting me know I’m not the only one who feels like I’m going to loose it some days!! Clearly, winning a copy of this book wold do me some good! :)

  37. 54

    Jessica says

    Yes, when I read yesterday’s post it spoke to my heart (and to my husband’s, too!). I call them “mean mommy” days (when I take out the desperation on my little in the way I talk to him), and I swear I would drown in motherhood if I couldn’t read about others’ desperate days and connect to my MOPS moms, because they are always there to encourage and remind me that I am not the only mom who has bad days!!!

  38. 55

    Nora says

    As a homeschooling mom of 3, I have desperate moments almost every day! I am thankful that God is the one who molds and shapes their hearts.

  39. 57

    Julie says

    Some days I feel more than desperate…I feel more out of control than my kids are. My husband and I have gone through a lot in the past year and while we’ve tried to keep it from affecting our kids, there have been times when the kids have pushed the issue, pushed our buttons and we’ve reacted in anger and yelling. My 8 year old has said “Mommy, I was scared when you yelled” and I feel awful. Sometimes I wonder if I’m screwing my kids up for life but then something great happens and I feel like maybe we’ll all make it during these hard times.

  40. 58

    Laura K says

    I am often desperate. Desperate for them to be babies again, desperate for them to grow up and leave, or yes, I am even crazy enough at times to be desperate for them to stop growing and stay just as they are.

  41. 59

    Shelly says

    Oh my. This is such needed information. I would love this book. I have often found myself in desperate situations on my motherhood journey. Thank God for grace and encouragement from people like you!

  42. 60

    Linda Maxie says

    I have two little girls, one is 3 months and the other is 15 months. I feel like every day I double check all of my decisions: Did I put them to bed too early, too late? Did I give them enough “food” or too much? Did I give them the right things that they needed? Did I dress them cool enough/warm enough? I love my children and want to make the best life for them that my husband and I can. How on earth can this be accomplished?

  43. 61

    Rhonda says

    You’re post is almost word for word my days :) I’ve told my kids “Mommy’s in a time out” and walk to my room before I make more bad decisions with reacting to my kids…just wish I knew how to handle it all before it gets that far. Thanks for your post…

  44. 62

    Machelle says

    Yes, those days when you think everything is going alright with all three kids staying on task and getting their studies done. BUT, in a blink of an eye one decides to not stay focused and you quickly begin to lose your cool with the remaining two kids who have done nothing wrong but you just can’t find the patience for any of them at the moment. Praying to God asking him why you were called to homeschool and knowing in that very moment why you were and the many benefits of it for your family, oh how easily we forget the many blessings we have in that one moment of feeling as if we are failing.

  45. 63

    Pat S. says

    When our now grown and married daughters were in their late teens, God started sending us to the nations to adopt His kids. At a time when our friends are empty nesters or close to that stage in their marriages, we have four children with varying degrees of special needs (one minor, three significant)…17, almost 17, almost 13, and soon to be 13. Some days we live minute at a time, yet we are truly blessed by the children we chose.

  46. 66

    Tonya Ingram says

    Funny how God shares stories like this EXACTLY when we need them. Just this morning I told my boyfriend “one day, ONE DAY, the boys are going to get up and do what they’re supposed to do without me having to say anything and without picking and fighting with each other”. LOL I would love this book.

  47. 68

    Shannon M says

    I have 3 year old daughter and 18 month old son and many times I’ve felt overwhelmingly desperate. I’ve heard about this book and would love a copy. We are family following God’s plan but many times motherhood is not as easy as I thought would be!

  48. 69

    Char says

    Tears…..glad to know I’m not alone. Thanks so much for taking your time to be an encouragement to other moms. Your post was truly a blessing this morning. Can not wait to get my hands and heart on this book!!!!

  49. 70

    Hillary E. says

    I’m a mom of two boys, ages 8 & 7. I just started homeschooling them, run my own business out of my home, and have a husband who travels every week for his job. So many days I just hide my face in shame, feeling as if I walk around as if I am engulfed in a cloud of shame. How did I get here? Why can’t I be better? Why can’t I stop hurtful words? Why do I continually fail them all? So desperation? Yes, it’s a large part of this life of mine. Thank you for the giveaway.

  50. 71


    As a mother to two littles who’s husband just had to move 4 hours away for a job – I’ve had several desperate situations as we are learning to deal with this transition time. Would love a copy of the book – thanks for a great giveaway!!!

  51. 72


    I am a blessed (and sometimes stressed) mother of five boys, ages 4-16 and one daughter, age 12. We homeschool, are a loud lot and quiet strong-willed to boot! Desperate? You bet!
    I just read a review of this book on Tim Challies blog and he recommended it.
    Thank you!

  52. 74

    Heather says

    Desperate? Oh yes. Many times I feel desperate! Desperate for answers, desperate for energy! Desperate for ability to keep up with the ever changing nature of kids, I am so desperate to show them that Jesus IS who He says He is, but who is adequate to such a task???????????????????????????????????????????????????

  53. 77

    Jen says

    I have been that desperate mama more times than I care to remember. Thank you for sharing your struggle with us. God bless!

  54. 78

    Amy Roberts says

    I feel desperate almost everyday! Three children, ages 7, 5, 2. Some days are better than others. Just need the encouragement.

  55. 80

    Elizabeth says

    Yes, I’m desperate! I know change starts with me. I am begging God to change me! I am struggling just getting the basics covered daily. Im weary.

  56. 81

    Lara Harrison says

    I’ve been feeling this way everyday for the last week! I feel like a complete failure most days! I’m not the mom that I want to be, I’m overwhelmed…. Completely! I need this!

  57. 82

    Carrie says

    I’m in tears reading the honesty of others. Sometimes I’m so desperate, I feel like somehow I got this all wrong. My middle son, who is 3, has some issues we haven’t fully identified yet, and he is angry and rages from the time he gets up in the morning. I can’t take him in public because lights and noise make him scratch at himself and scream like he’s being murdered. I feel desperate and hopeless and like I’m failing him every moment.

  58. 83

    Rhonda says

    YES!! I get frustrated A LOT!! I have twins who just turned 9 and another child who will be 8 next month. One of my twins has ADHD and the mornings (before his medicine kicks in) and evenings (when the medicine has worn off) in this house are CRAZY! The other twin is exhibiting anxiety attacks. The two boys pick at each other or their sister some days almost constantly. There are days I just feel like pulling my hair out!! I don’t understand why I have to repeat myself numerous times and don’t get WHY WON’T THEY LISTEN AND DO WHAT I ASK THE FIRST TIME!! I feel guilty when I yell. I know they are children and it is my job to teach them right from wrong and I constantly remind myself that some of the behaviors with the ADHD child are beyond his control. It is a constant struggle to keep in mind that this is an issue of the heart. It is not just that they are behaving badly. Motherhood is definitely one of the toughest jobs there is. All that being said I LOVE MY CHILDREN and wouldn’t trade them for anything, but I am DESPERATE!!

  59. 85

    Jen says

    We all feel desperate more often than we like to admit…I do. It is wonderful to know that it’s “not just me.” I could just copy and paste a few of the previous comments. In my circles, I don’t think most moms are honest and transparent enough to talk about it. Wish they were.

  60. 86

    Brandi s says

    So many times I feel that way! Especially with two kids that never sleep past 6 in the morning and are ready to go go go without break until bedtime. It’s so great to know we aren’t alone in this.

  61. 87

    Joey says

    I love that mommas are all being honest we have all been there… The days when my husband comes home and I basically throw the baby at him and go in our room and cry? Yup so been there but it’s not long until little footsteps of our 3yo can be heard and knocking… Working full time and being home full time makes for many many desperate moments

  62. 88

    kelly says

    i work with my hubby and father and mother in a small business..while my parents were out of town for 3 months the hubby and i are trying to work together and then be at home together will to teenager girls and a pre-teen girl…its been rough difficult and down right messy…if we are not fighting with each other we are fighting against the girls and each other….i am pretty much angry ALL the time and i know the girls see it…i am sure it bothers them as well…I just cant seem to get a handle on anything lately…i need help

  63. 89

    Crystal Olson says

    I am the mother of 3 kiddos. 6 yr old Boy, 4 yr old Boy and 1 yr old Girl. My husband is a Worship Pastor and that means he spends a lot of evenings away from our home working. I work full time as well during the day and often feel defeated before I walk through the door to start dinner. I struggle with the image I’ve created in my mind of what our home should look like, how my kiddos should behave and how I should react to every twist and turn that comes our way. I couldn’t be more thankful for God’s grace, without it I would be locked up for sure! 😉

  64. 91

    Mary Kay Meyer says

    I am a desperate mom of 4 daughters – raging hormones that are unpredictable – including my own. I want my daughters to grow up strong, think on their own, be their own person and celebrate their uniqueness – am I going to squash that – PLEASE GOD, WITH GRACE AND LOVE AND PRAYER I HOPE NOT…..

  65. 92

    Megha says

    I am a desperate momma more often than not! My patience wears thin so quickly sometimes, and I often find myself disciplining without grace. I want to point them to Jesus, not to a list of rules they will never be able to perfect. Thank you for your encouraging words – I truly look forward to reading your blog each day!

  66. 94

    Karen says

    My kids are grown, but I did have my share of those moments, unfortunately. I would love to win this book for my neighbor who has 7 children, a husband who travels and sickness runamuck since Christmas!

  67. 95

    Rebecca Jevne says

    I too am Blessed, but overwhelmed and stressed. I am grateful for the opportunity to possibly earn this book, what a blessing it would be, at the absolute right time. I feel like your last two posts were wrote for me!

    Thanks for all you do. You are a blessing to me.

  68. 97

    Cristy says

    Definitely… and it’s the times when they are at their worst and need us at our best…. the times when we’ve had enough and we just need a minute to breathe…. the times when we can’t take any more but they are dishing it out SO fast… WE are never enough but He is.

  69. 98


    Sadly, I caught my 3-year-old in a lie yesterday. She was in an incredibly disobedient mood yesterday evening, and my husband and I were at the end of our ropes! Grateful for new mercies each morning.

  70. 99

    Jaime says

    I feel desperate more often than I would like to admit! There are times when the Lord’s help seems so far from me.

  71. 101

    Jen Mountney says

    Desperate is usually not strong enough of a word to describe my feelings. |I adore my children but some days I feel like all they want to do is push me to see how fast I will break.

    We homeschool and it is so easy to look at other moms who homeschool and think that their family looks so peaceful, considering all the time they spend together.

    I am daily apologizing to my kids and begging God for a reminder as to why he chose to entrust them to us. God is merciful and the good days are good. I cling to that.

  72. 102

    Erin W. says

    I have been at the end of my rope for two days now. I’ve been struggling to find the patience I need to deal with my 5- and 2-year-old. A timeout to breathe sounds exactly what I need.

  73. 103

    Kendra says

    As a mom of 4 (oldest being 7 and youngest 15 months) I struggle every minute of every day with the role that God has blessed me with as Mom!! I put unneeded pressure on myself to be a great mom, great wife, great housekeeper, great cook, great room mom, and on and on and many times without feeling as if I can ask for help. Instead of living in the moment sometimes and savoring time with my husband and kiddos I let the pressures of how “others live” get to me in both my actions and the physical appearance of our lives. It is only when I pause and be still and let God work in me and thru me that I can feel peace and joy in knowing that I don’t have to be a PERFECT mom…just the best mom that I can be!

  74. 104

    Kathryn says

    Since the New Year this has described me…I am desperate, desperate for peace, desperate for the whining to stop, desperate for anything. I have found myself, in the last month and a half, really learning what it means to turn to God in the midst of great weakness, and a sense of failure as a parent. Yes, as you said, there have been some good days, but it seems as if the rough, hard days are outweighing the good one’s. I have seen beautiful things come out of this season. I am turning to God more, but in addition to that, I am turning to Him with my daughter. We pray together several times a day when things feel out of control, or one of us is too emotional to think straight. It has been great for practical application, it has been a very humbling season. It has been hard. I still find myself in the midst of it, and keep trying to convince myself that this is a season, and it will come to an end. My 2 year old is one of the funniest little girls around, and a joy to be around…but this past month and a half, I have felt like a failure in many ways. Thanks for this post! It was very timely for me!

  75. 106

    CHERYL says

    Oh the joys of being a momma! Definitely feeling Desperate….I have 4 boys, a 1 month old, 18 month old, an 8 year old and a 14 year old. Then there is my 11 year old girl who is going on 23!!! The fighting, the bickering and of course the snide remarks made under their breath. I have no escape for a moment…apparently the bathroom is also known as the family reunion meeting place! Haha Some days I think when God was handing out patience I must have got impatient and left the line. I would love to have this book although i fear by the time I get a moment to sit down in peace and quiet my kids will be moved out of the house:)

  76. 108

    Rebekah says

    Oh, I am SO often a desperate mom to my four boys. I get overwhelmed, nearly daily, but I’m so blessed to begin to see the Lord working in me in these weaknesses and failures. The small victories are encouraging, but can also mean that the next fall brings even more desperation. WHY CAN’T I DO IT THE RIGHT WAY!! Why is parenting so hard? We’re fighting for the souls of our children in an evil world, in the face of constant opposition. It’s a holy war that we must stay faithful to fight. How wonderful the promise, the in HIM, the victory is already won!

  77. 109

    Sarah says

    I have been so “desperate” the last 2 days, especially. My youngest is a very “spirited” little girl. I am struggling to find a balance between letting her be that BIG personality that she is so naturally and the right amount of discipline. It’s hard. So hard.

  78. 110

    carla k says

    thank you for being so real! being a mom is the hardest but most rewarding job!! we all have our moments of desparation and it’s good to know we are not in this alone … God is always with us and he calls us to help and encourage one another too. so again, thank you for sharing your heart!!

  79. 111

    Adria says

    Desperate for relief over here…………4 kids all sick in one way or two ways, *including poison ivy!!! I feel like I am in a tornado……..can someone pull me out???? I know this scenario all too well. Great post. Would love to read the book!

  80. 112

    diana says

    Desperate? Yes, definitely been there as a new momma with near sleepless nights and trying to figure this all out!

  81. 113

    Sunshine says

    I’m that desperate mom! Sometimes parenting an 11 year old with Asperger’s and a 3 year old is overwhelming. I look at other moms with larger families with special needs children and wonder how they keep it all together?! God has blessed us with the responsibility of raising these two wonderful boys who are unique in their own way. I pray that for more patience every day.

  82. 115

    CL says

    Without the positive influence and example of an involved mother as a girl growing up, sometimes it is daunting to know what is the right and healthy way to handle the many moments of motherhood. I am so very thankful for those whom God has placed in my life who have shared their wisdom and personal experiences with me. I would love to read this book.

  83. 116

    Courtney Howard says

    With a husband in the Navy, 5 yr and 10 month old boys and 15 and 17 year old step daughters I feel overwhelmed and desperate almost daily! Have been so excited to read this book and see many other great Christian mothers feel the same:-)

  84. 117

    Betty-Jo says

    I feel like this more often than not. I would love to read this book. Thank you for the opportunity. God bless you!

  85. 118

    Susan says

    That was me yesterday! My son is teething and NOTHING made him happy yesterday!!!!!!!!!! NOT ONE SINGLE THING! I thought I was going to lose my mind! I yelled at him to go to bed because after a long day of whining, I couldn’t take it anymore.

    There is nothing I hate more then yelling at them when all he is saying is “I need you”. I feel like I fail him and his sister EVERY SINGLE DAY.

  86. 119

    Sarah says

    I, too, am a desperate mama who would love to love my children (7, 5, 3) better by learning through this book. I have been in this moment of desperation many times.

  87. 121

    Robyn says

    Thank you for just being real – I have more of those desperate moments than I care to admit, and looking at things like Facebook and Pinterest just makes it seem as though every other mom is having happy, beautiful craft times followed by a five-course everything-from-scratch meal yet miraculously keeping the house spotless!

    I am so thankful to be able to come here and hear from another mom who gets it – how blessed we are to have healthy children, with good hearts, and a Savior who gives grace so abundantly… but still! Those moments happen and you just feel so inadequate. So, all that to simply say, thank you!

  88. 124

    Jolene says

    Desperate moments? Many.
    Some friends and I would love to read through this book together as our next book study selection.

  89. 125

    Carisa says

    There are three little doll babies who are on “toy timeout” on top of the bookcase in the family room from one of my desperate moments yesterday. <3

  90. 126


    I need this book! You put my feelings into words: “I feel inept as a mother a lot of the time. I try. I try really hard and I connect with my kids, we laugh and talk and I get it right some days. But it’s the days in-between, I wonder if I’m undoing the good I’ve done.”

  91. 127

    Amanda says

    My desperate days have been coming way too much lately. I could really use this book as the struggling mom of a 4 yr old too smart for her own good girl and a mischievous 1 yr old

  92. 129

    Darlonna Vaughan says

    Love you honesty, I definitely relate. Motherhood is humbling and makes me realize almost daily how much more I have to learn.

  93. 132

    Erin says

    I am a mother of a 6, 3, and 1 yr old that homeschools! I have a lot o desperate moments daily!! God is faithful and leads me through each day if I let Him, otherwise it ends up really messy!

  94. 133

    Monica Warren says

    I’m a home schooling mama of 3, ages 10, 5, and 2. I get no breaks except on Sundays at church when my kids go to childcare. I can’t remember the last time I had alone time. So, yeah.

  95. 135

    Kristen says

    I definitely find myself in a desperate place many days. My husband is in grad school and we have a 5-year-old, a 2-year-old, and a 5-month-old. Between the the fighting/arguing, nursing, teething, and the attitude coming from my oldest, many days I jus have to lock myself away for five minutes just to get a break. I wouldn’t trade this job for the world, but it is one if the hardest things-no, THE hardest thing I have ever done. Praise God for mercy and grace and His provision day after day.

  96. 136

    Susan Collins says

    I have had many days when I feel down right desperate. I homeschool 3 children and a baby all while going back to school for my 2nd degree for financial reasons. My days and nights are long, and if it wasn’t for the Lord I would not make it. He is my strength. I would love to read this book. I need some encouragement!

  97. 137

    Kim E says

    Desperate – what a telling word. I have 4 kids – 26, 22, 16, and 14. The two youngest are causing my desperate feelings. I homeschool the 16 year old as she has a chronic illness and would miss so much school that she would have a hard time completing one grade per year. The meds make her not sleep well. She is grouchy – ALOT. The 14 year old was just diagnosed with ADD. Not a major thing, but enough to make a mom worry. These two might actually be the death of me! There are days when I really want to get in my car and drive far away. Love them with all my heart and would never do such a thing, but the thought is appealing sometimes!

  98. 138

    Kari says

    This is how I feel more often than not lately…no matter how hard I try with my three little ones (one of which is diabetic) it only seems to be worse instead of better. I can totally relate to everything you said…

  99. 139

    Crystal says

    Just this past Sunday….we all woke up feeling fine…..then by afternoon I started feeling sick. It wasn’t long before I was visiting the toilet from both ends =( then a while later my two year old started vomiting as well……and then after another hour or two both my 12 year old and my 9 year old started complaining of the same symptoms as I started with….and by bedtime they both were also vomiting along with stuff out the other end as well (they went through several changes of underwear). My husband had decided to go into work for a few hours, and at my encouragement he left. I know he doesn’t do well with this sort of thing and it seemed that my part in the throwing up was over enough that I could slowly take care of everyone else. It was getting past midnight when I finally decided to go to bed and as soon as I got comfortable the 9 year old yells out that the 2 year old threw up in bed again. I tried five times to go to bed only to be dragged out again to deal with more pukey stuff. By 1 AM my six year old was throwing up as well. Me and four of my five kids were all sick to our stomachs! I was so tired….tired physically because it was very late at night, tired emotionally because I hate seeing any of my kids sick, let alone four at the same time, tired….just so tired!

  100. 140

    Stacey says

    I try not to have those moments but when my 3 year old daughter and 2 year old son are (ahem) not the best of friends, I about pull my hair out. Pushing each other off the furniture, biting each other’s hands to get the toy they want, screaming, hitting… All part of my daily life.

  101. 141

    Erin H. says

    Oh I SO want and need this book. Why is it that we can be complimented on our children, we can enjoy them ourselves, yet at the first sign of trial or difficulty we break and feel like failures? (Or is it just me?!?!) I have an 8 year old boy, a 6 year old girl and twin 4 year old boys…and I homeschool…yeah, I know desperate!

    Thank you for your honestly and your humor Kristen. I have been reading your blog for a few months now and I now have my mother (a grandmother of young children – and soon to be a great grandmother!) reading it as well.

  102. 145

    SusanB says

    My kids are older now so I am not feeling so desperate, but I have a friend who is desperate everyday! I am entering to give the book to her.

  103. 146

    Michelle says

    Wow! Thank you for this post. It’s so encouraging to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with feelings of inadequacy and anger. I so badly want to be a mom that shows Jesus to my kids through the way I live but some days (OK most days) I fail miserably. I’m so thankful for God’s grace for me and I pray that through my failures my kids will see that grace shining through. Can’t wait to read this book!

  104. 147

    Diane says

    Oh yes, I know about the “desperate days”! I have 6 children ages 6,9,12,14,15 & 16. I dearly love my children but some days I feel at a loss to know which way to turn anymore. And, then struggle with feeling like a failure as a mom. I constantly need to remind myself that it’s their hearts I need to reach, I’m not training them to be performers.
    A dear “older” lady told me just the other day about this book.

  105. 148


    We have five children, two on the spectrum, my husband’s a soldier, we are still settling in from out last move and I have had migraines every night for almost two weeks…I think I’m just going to buy this book now!! Thanks for bringing it to my attention!

  106. 149

    Tracey says

    I have five children from 1 yr to 13 yrs old. There have been all sorts of desperate times in my life as a mother. They range from the struggles of independence as a toddler, to the struggle with realizing they are sinful humans at (about) age 6, the again with the NEW independence struggle at 13 yrs old. I wasn’t raised in a Christian home, so this these struggles are brand new to me as I try to navigate the unknown waters of Christian motherhood!

  107. 150

    Elizabeth says

    Desperate, kinda hard to admit, not sure how to articulate this well. My girls are 8 and 5, I want to care for them well, bring them up in the right ways, and for them to have a real relationship with me/eachother now and later on.. But I tend to be rules driven and don’t have a good example of my own to go on. My parenting style and my husband’s is very different and causes clashes where he becomes the good guy fixer after mommy has lost it. I need to learn more gentleness and when to insist on rules and when to let them go for the sake of relationship. It just feels kinda terrible and like its not happening soon enough.

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