How to Make Sheet Music

He starts his day nearly an hour before mine.

I wake up to the smell of scrambled eggs and find him in the kitchen making the kid’s lunches. He’s already dropped off our oldest at basketball practice and stopped by Chick Fil A for a sweet tea treat.

It’s sitting on the night stand when I reach for my glasses and wonder about my silent alarm.

It’s not even 7 A.M and he started the day making love to me–in the kitchen, doing my chores.

All day long, I think of this gift. His kind words, gentle expressions, his unselfishness–and I can’t wait to give back to him.

Sheet music starts long before you hit the sheets.

It starts with another S-word. One that doesn’t get nearly as much attention. Making sweet music in your marriage starts with service.

It begins with putting your spouse before yourself. Since we’re selfish people by nature, this little S-word doesn’t always come easy. But when we serve our mate, it sets up the perfect atmosphere for a symphony.

Sex doesn’t make a marriage, but the lack of sex and intimacy can certainly break it.

“When sex dies in a marriage, a man loses something very important to him—the knowledge that he can please his wife physically. And a woman loses the satisfaction that she has a man who is enthralled with her beauty.” -Kevin Leman, Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

It’s so much more than just a physical act. There’s a lot at risk when we neglect one another: his confidence as a man and her esteem in herself.

Three practical ways to serve your spouse.

  1. Treat your husband/wife like you would a guest in your home for a day. When we have company over and they ask for water, we don’t sigh and point. We anticipate their needs and bless them by meeting them.
  2. Surprise them by doing something unexpected: show up at work with their favorite lunch, do their chores, add a bit of romance to their day.
  3. Write them a note-tuck it in their drawer or in their glovebox, mail a card to your spouse.

Find simple, sweet ways to serve your spouse. It will be a warmup for some awesome music later.


  1. 3


    Wow what a great reminder! I just shared this on Facebook. Thanks for reminding us to serve our husbands to treat them like guests and meet their needs. I do try but then life happens and its so easy to forget and get used to the mundaneness and think hey I had a hard day he needs to meet my needs because I deserve it. Thanks for this sweet reminder!

  2. 4

    Beth in the City says

    Excellent reminder! One of the ways I’m serving my husband is by joining his world – of exercise, as he preps for the spring season. I didn’t expect it to be sheet music, but it is. My sedentary, selfish self does not want to get out of my chair but the rewards have been greater than just a few inches lost, by far. I’m learning trust in a new way as he spots me as I lift weights. We can flirt like crazy as we laugh and lift and stretch.

  3. 9

    Becky says

    Sheet Music is such a great book! (Even if Kevin Lehman is a corny old guy 😉 ) My husband and I use it when we do marriage counseling. It gives us an excuse to read it again! There is nothing Earth shattering in it – just a wonderfully encouraging reminder of what marriage should look like. Married folks should read it again and again.

  4. 10

    Heather S. says

    This truly is the most awesome book! My husband and I have given several *talks* on this book and given away countless copies! Thanks for sharing the message to a much larger audience than we could ever reach!

  5. 12


    we were at a marriage conference one time and i heard my all-time favorite line-about-sex: “sex starts in the kitchen.” chris has been doing the dishes ever since!

  6. 13


    Thank you for the encouragement to be a better wife! I love the part about treating your spouse like a guest for a day. I so often lose sight of service toward my husband. Thanks for helping me to see it again. . . today.

  7. 15


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