World’s Okayest Mom

Well. I don’t know about you, but after admitting this week how hard parenting is, I feel better about motherhood…not because I’ve figured it all out, but because I know I’m not alone.

I have proof that 500 other women have desperate moments in their motherhood journey. It’s like we’re a posse of honest confessions. Yo.

And now I’d like to sit down with you over a virtual cup of coffee because I need to tell you something else. Do you like my *mug? 
worlds-okayest-mom

I want to whisper an important truth in your ear. You need to hear this today. More importantly, you need to believe it:  it’s okay to be an okay mom.

Some days I’m an awesome mother–I mean knock-it-out-of-the-ballpark–kind of awesome. But that’s not the norm. I have really bad days where I hide in the bathroom and change all the clocks so everyone goes to bed an hour early. Just kidding, but I’ve seriously considered it. So, if you add the really great days with the really not-so-hot ones, they equal okay. And that’s well, okay.

My kids don’t need perfection, they are actually learning all the things I so desperately long to teach them because of my inadequacy. It’s  powerful when I apologize or ask them to pray for me. I’m admitting failure but I’m also teaching them strength. It’s a positive lesson in humility when they see me ask God for help in my weakness.

Some days I feel like Joni, who left this painfully honest comment:

“I actually feel like I’ve accidently stepped into a dark deep hole and haven’t hit the bottom yet. . .There are no pinch hitters; this is the motherhood no one talks about. Be 100% for both kids and still have something left. Haven’t yet figured out a way to keep from feeling like a failure.” -Joni

I want to talk about this motherhood- the one no one talks about because honestly we can’t achieve the motherhood we all expect of ourselves. This is the raw place where our high expectations meet the reality of our back-talking teen and a baby who won’t sleep anywhere but our chest. This is the real motherhood we live.

We are human. And some days are good, we fly thru them with ease. While other days are so hard we cry ourselves to sleep and regret our mistakes. But however we rate our days, we have to remember we are not alone and we don’t serve a God who keeps track. He offers us grace, just like we offer our children when they mess up. Not only are there countless mothers experiencing the same things we are,  there’s a Great Friend who is desperate for us to lean on Him.

I may not be the World’s Best Mom. But I’m okay and that’s enough for today.

*photo source


Comments

  1. 1

    says

    Thank you for this reminder, Kristen. Ever since we moved cross-country, I have felt the loss of communal support (as meager as it was up where we used to live, it was SOMETHING) deeply. I have felt depression like never before; I used to think people were exaggerating when they said they had days when they just didn’t want to get out of bed and face the day … I’ve had one of those now. How humbling, isn’t it? I’m grateful that my God is bigger than even this season of intense loneliness.

  2. 7

    says

    I haven’t ever considered changing the clocks to get everyone to bed, but we have paid them each two dollars to put themselves to bed without being “tucked in” (meaning I just really didn’t want to walk up the stairs) ahem. I’m okay with being okay too…

  3. 8

    celina boulanger says

    great post….in all my wisdom…(ok stop laughing now…lol) i realized that i CANNOT be everything to everyone all of the time…

    sometimes i am the best mom, sometimes i fail
    sometimes i am a super wife, other times i humbly ask for forgiveness
    sometimes i must be selfish and take time for myself (new addition, put ozygen mask on mom first in a plane crash type of thing)

    most of the time…i’m surfing between the 3 trying best i can not to drop the balls i’m juggling..but as you said…showing my kids some grace (hopefully) with my flaws and failures teaches it’s own lessons..(right??)

  4. 10

    says

    So glad messages like these are getting out there. Back when I had little ones at home, I thought I was the only one, and it just makes it all so much worse. Kudos to you.

  5. 15

    says

    Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for this post!! I needed to read this today. It’s so easy to feel like you are the only mom who experiences those desperate moments. Thank you for your honesty…it has encouraged me more than you could know!

  6. 16

    Ginger says

    As much as I appreciate your transparency, even more I appreciate your pointing to Jesus. He is the reason that “okay” is okay. His grace allows for forgiveness and renewing. Every single day.

  7. 18

    says

    Love this. Thank you so much! I needed to hear this, especially this week. Such great reminders because often the guilt slides in, the tears overflow, and the days seem long and rough. Motherhood is full of days of laughter and feeling like a super hero, and days of crying, exhaustion… praise the LORD for reminders of HIS grace and how much He loves us.Thank you for your sweet, honest words. We need this as mothers. THANK YOU!!!

  8. 19

    says

    Love this! I struggle with guilt as a mom and have remind myself constantly who is behind that guilt… definitely not of God. This was awesome to read. I shared it on my page. Thank you!

    Sharon

  9. 20

    says

    I had exactly one of those not good parenting days just this week! Its very hard to remember that sometimes you are are a rock star mom, when your child is having a meltdown in front of the school building and then….. well gets walked in by the Police who monitor the school in the morning :)

  10. 21

    says

    I love this conversation! And I love your mug. Where can I get one? Seriously. It looks like a mug I would refill 5-6 times a day with tea so I can gulp down the tears, swallow the stress, and muddle through the rest of the day with my three littles. I love ok; it takes all the pressure away.

  11. 22

    says

    I love your writing and your heart. On a regular basis your honesty, openness and truth provides hope, inspiration and a bit of rest for my soul. Thank you for sharing what so many of us desperately need to hear and what we so long to see in others. You are a blessing to Your heavenly Father, your family and those of us who benefit from afar.

    Megan

  12. 23

    Aunt Mel says

    Kristen…..wow, I just wanted to add a different perspective. I know how you are feeling…I remember (many times) as soon as my husband walked in the door from work, I would “high- five” him and say,”Dude, it’s your turn to be in the ring….I’m outta here.” I would get into my car, drive to Sonic, get a Dr. Pepper Route 44 and drink the entire drink then slowly drive home.

    The thing is…after you children grow up and move out, then you get to see the results of being an “okay” Mom. We have, THANKFULLY raised two amazing daughters that are independent, because I didn’t/couldn’t/wouldn’t do everything for them. They prove to me, daily, that as badly as I perceived my parenting skills, they were good, on target, and appreciated.

    Don’t take these moments for granted because in realizing them, the pay-off down the road is PRICELESS!!!

  13. 26

    says

    This post reminds me of an old song from way back in my Southern Gospel roots: “I’m not perfect, just forgiven.” If I could be a great mom on my own, I wouldn’t need His abundant grace. That just isn’t do-able. And quite frankly, I crave His grace and want to share that with my kiddos.

    Awesome, needed, worth-repeating post! In Christ, Gin

  14. 30

    Katie says

    I am an okay mom too. Thank you for allowing us to admit that to ourselves and each other, and for helping us to know that it is okay to be okay. :) I think (at least this is true for me) that we all need to remember that even in our not so stellar mom moments, God chose these particular children for each of us. He gave them to us as a gift. He knew we would be the best mom for the children He gave us. And I think these wonderfully frustrating, beautifully trying, amazingly baffling little people were also given to me to teach me, to shape me, to make me into more of the woman and mother, God intended me to be.

  15. 33

    says

    it’s okay to be an okay mom…I want this on a t-shirt! No one warns you about these feelings of failure before you have kids. No, it’s all sunshine and cupcakes. No one tells you that even on your best days it’s not perfect. I hope that me being okay as a parent will help my girls when they get older and have kids of their own…that they will not be so hard on themselves.

  16. 34

    April says

    I just stumbled upon your website via something someone posted on pintrest. Talk about God’s timing! I had a pretty rough mommy day, actually more like a week and this and some of your other posts were truly encouraging. I am a first time mother of a almost 2 year old. What a blessing he is, but I am still learning a great deal. I frequently feel mommy guilt. I like the thought that if I am striving to be the best mom I can be it is okay to be an ok mom.

  17. 37

    says

    We’re always the hardest on ourselves as mothers anyway. I bet you anything our children will grow up and remember the good, and none of the bad, or hardly any of the bad, and will say we were awesome mothers.

    Janelle

  18. 39

    Rebecca says

    I stumbled upon this blog on Mothers day and have cried with relief. I became a stay at home mom a few months ago with the birth of my third child and have felt like I am failing motherhood because it is so hard to keep up with a 9, 1 and three month old. If I didn’t pray everyday about it I don’t know where I would be! I cried with relief to see that I’m not the only mom who has a baby that only sleeps on my chest. This was such a blessing! I’m so happy to have found this blog!

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