On Exhaustion, Desperation and Finding God

I’m functioning on less sleep in Kenya than I thought humanly possible. I’m emotional and weary and still scared.

SBP_2603

But I feel God’s presence so strongly with me. Maybe because I feel so inadequate and desperate for Him at the same time? Funny how that works.

SBP_2778

I spent the day trying to stay awake during the 2.5 hour church service, getting reacquainted with the girls, warming up to our three new ones and trying to convince the babies I wasn’t a scary white woman.

SBP_2772

The girls told me I’d really gotten fat since last seeing them (8 months ago). That’s a big compliment here (it means you’re healthy and have enough to eat), but never something a 40 year old woman longs to hear. So, I ate two plates of Kenyan food. Ha!

SBP_2581

Every time I cross the ocean, it’s a different experience. But every time, I end up needing more of God. And finding Him. I’m pretty sure He’s never moved…

It was a good first day/night/whatever-time-it-is start this week. I’m cramming about two weeks work into the next five days, keeping praying, okay?


Comments

  1. says

    Praying for you! Pray for us? We are making a huge move from Texas to Indiana on Tuesday. God keeps doing these insanely miraculous things and I keep getting more and more concerned that He won’t call me back to the states once we leave. I had all these plans mapped out and being this emotionally overdrawn wasn’t one of them. You get that right now chica. Praying for you!!!!!!

    • says

      Hi Andi. In 1989 I moved from Indiana to Texas, so I’ve done the opposite of your journey. You will have a much cooler summer and I’m sure you will be blessed in your new midwestern home. I hail from Northern Indiana and went to University in Evansville. Northern folks can see a bit prickly after being a Texan. Be patient.

  2. says

    Wow…this sounds and looks amazing/unreal/crazy-good :) Praying BIG for you on the other side of the world. May God grant all you need moment by moment, task by task, and soul by soul. Praying His protection over you, too!

  3. Erika says

    What a time of growth! I love the baby wearing picture—WE have so much to learn from them! Thank you for being a vessel!

  4. says

    I am really enjoying the theme/design of
    your web site. Do you ever run into any internet browser compatibility issues?
    A number of my blog audience have complained about my blog not operating correctly in Explorer but looks great in Opera.
    Do you have any advice to help fix this problem?

  5. says

    Sweet blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoo News.

    Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo
    News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!
    Appreciate it

  6. says

    Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic nevertheless I’d figured I’d ask.
    Wuld you be interested in echanging links or maybe guest authoring a blog post
    or vice-versa? My blog addresdes a lot of the same topics as yours
    and I think we could grealy benefit from each other.

    If yoou might be interested feel free to send me an email.
    I look forward to hearing from you! Grat blog byy the way!

  7. says

    Wοnderful blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoko News.
    Dο you have any suggestions on hoω to get listed іn Yahoo News?
    ӏ’ve been trying for a while but I nevег seem to get
    there! Cheers

  8. says

    Woah! I’m really digging the template/theme of this blog.
    It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s tough to get that “perfect balance” between
    user friendliness and visual appeal. I must say you’ve done
    a amazing job with this. Also, the blog loads extremely quick for me
    on Internet explorer. Outstanding Blog!

  9. says

    It is the best time to make a few plans for the longer
    term and it’s time to be happy. I’ve learn this put up
    and if I could I want to counsel you some interesting things or tips.
    Maybe you can write subsequent articles referring to this article.
    I want to read more things about it!

  10. says

    Hello! Someone in my Facebook group shared this website with us so I came
    to check it out. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m book-marking
    and will be tweeting this to my followers!
    Terrific blog and brilliant design.

  11. says

    PSN that stands for Play – Station Network and
    has been one of the widely used online gaming since it has
    been introduced. At that spot, you possibly can choose any merchandise you need, click
    the specific item and purchase the place for delivery. Some of us include questioned the particular reason why currently the codes have already been secondhand once you give them a go.

  12. says

    Not only that, but the punishment will depend on if the internet was used, or if the postal service was used.
    Or better yet, only accept international money orders or wire transfers.

    Lacking proof or support, many of the best employees seek transfers or simply resign.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>