How to Find God On a Monday

“Mama?”

“Hmmm?”

“Are you gonna cry again today?” she asked.

My hand stopped writing mid-sentence and just hearing her words, I could feel the tears threaten.

“Probably.”

She smiled and patted my hand. “Okay, just checking.”

My father had a heart attack on Saturday and spent Father’s Day having a nearly 3 hour procedure to save his life. My oldest has a difficult oral surgery  tomorrow and will be in bed most of the week.  In between, I am grieving someone I loved in Kenya and praying for Maureen and our Mercy House girls in the depths of sorrow mingled with the joy of two more babies born on Friday and through most of it, my husband was out of town. And I was out of my mind.

I haven’t slept well in a week and it’s Monday again. The week ahead is daunting, but instead of chasing after it, I’m looking for the new mercies in it.

Terrell, my husband, overheard me say to my 6 year old, “It’s been a hard week, honey.” He said, thinking of his sister who died  in January, “It’s been a hard year.”

He’s right. I am just a fragile clay jar, pressed on every side, but not crushed, sustained inwardly by a living God. He keeps me going:

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you…..

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.  So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” -From 2 Corinthians Chapter 4

Maybe your in a season of trials and you need this promise, too.

How to find God on this Monday:

  • Choose gratitude no matter what. Keeping a list of things we are thankful for doesn’t change the situation, it changes us.
  • Choose to let go of what doesn’t matter-dirty room, piles of laundry, it’s okay.
  • Choose to let Him carry the burden. I’m reminding myself that difficult days don’t take God by surprise, He’s right in the middle of it.
  • Choose to trust His heart for you when you can’t understand where His hand is leading.

I can’t thank y’all enough for your love and prayers the past week. I can feel them.


Comments

  1. 1

    says

    Oh, Kristin. A very hard year indeed. Well done, good and faithful servant. Praying for peace and rest for you, and for a full recovery for your father. You are so dear, so true, so faithful. Crying with you and Maureen, and rejoicing that the births went well.

  2. 4

    says

    Oh my goodness, my heart has been hurting for you this week. Yet God’s goodness is being broadcast in your life for all non-believers to see. There’s no way anyone could get through what you and your family have been/are going through right now without the power of Christ, and that’s a powerful testimony!

  3. 5

    says

    I’ve been thinking about you and your family all weekend. Sorry things are so stinkin’ tough right now. Makes me wonder if I could be this faithful given the circumstances. I hope so. Praying for you all and hope the oral surgery goes well!

  4. 6

    Aunt Mel says

    After reading your posts this week about Maureen, then reading about your Dad on Sunday, I do want you to know that you have been on my mind all weekend. Kristen, you are strong, you have kept the faith. You, Terrell, the kids, and your Mercy House family will come through! Thank GOD for the tears. They are you release valve.

    You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Love you!

  5. 7

    says

    Kristen–
    I am so sorry for all you’ve experienced this week, and this year. I love your perspective and your honesty. I’ll be continuing to pray for your entire extended family, including Maureen.

  6. 8

    says

    And continuing to pray, friend. I know only God can meet you right there, in your heartache and in the piles of dirty laundry. But you are surrounded by so many friends and fighters, praying space for your healing and light in your darkness.

  7. 9

    says

    Oh. You.
    Carrying you everywhere on this red soil in your Africa today– heart breaking with yours, praying with yours. Re-membering with yours.
    “Keeping a list of things we are thankful for doesn’t change the situation, it changes us.”
    Yes, amen. YES. I am with you, bowed low and counting new mercies… and praying for Maureen’s family everywhere I turn.
    Soul sisters forever and Jesus is always good.

  8. 11

    says

    Adding my prayers to many. Your family, Maureen and Mercy House have been on my heart all week and you will stay there this week too. <3

  9. 12

    Lynnebee says

    Kristen, I too am so overwhelmed with tears even as I write this and read your blog. Three dear, different men died within days of each other this past week: one is rejoicing right now with Jesus!, one we hope and pray is with Him, and one, barring a miracle or God’s intervention, is eternally separated from Him. I weep the hardest for the last, my dear next door neighbor. On to that pile, I cry for sweet Maureen (whom I’ve never met!) and cried out to God for your Daddy’s surgery (as I grieved missing my own Daddy, home with Jesus). I am SO thankful that you shared your heart today and brought those words from God to my hurting heart. I did hear Him say, in my quiet moment, that He is the man of sorrows…I needn’t take that responsibility. So I am choosing to write to you and say I am very grateful for you and Mercy House and your family and I will still probably cry a few more times…Love in Him, Lynne

  10. 15

    says

    Sweet Kristen, my heart aches with yours. That saying, “When it rains, it pours”? It’s been pourin’ in your life … but you’re right. In the midst of all the pourin’ sorrows, there is the goodness of God shining through. And you know that makes rainbows. :) Thank you for serving Him well and always choosing to believe in His goodness.

  11. 17

    SoCalLynn says

    You are in my prayers. I feel I’ve been living in a black fog for much of the past few months, since my dad was killed by a hit and run driver. I understand, I do. I know, though, that I will be ok, and so will you, because God has each of us in his hands, cradling us through our sadness and our fears. I know, because he was there when I woke up from nightmares, screaming his name and He brought me peace. Peace and comfort, to you.

  12. 19

    says

    Hey Kristin! Praying for you and your husband….what a perceptive little one you have. Thanks also for following God’s leading in posting this. It’s been a day where I am playing “Where’s the blessing?” like “where’s Waldo?”. Never stop searching for the good.

  13. 26

    says

    What a hard time you are facing. You are so right though about what fills our clay pot selves. Prayers for your family and especially for you as you juggled it all and grieve at the same time.

  14. 27

    says

    What a touching and thought-provoking blog post. You have certainly been through a lot these past 6 months, but the way you are choosing to look at it (and how you lean on Him) is a testimony for all of us. Thank you for sharing your struggles and faith with us as we can all learn through you!

  15. 28

    says

    Kristen! Oh no. Just seeing this about your dad. Sending you all lots of love and prayers. If you need anything, you know where we are. Any time.

    We’ve lived through a couple of years like these…it gets better, even when it seems like it won’t. Even if it takes a really long time. I promise.

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