“Are you gonna cry again today?” she asked.
My hand stopped writing mid-sentence and just hearing her words, I could feel the tears threaten.
She smiled and patted my hand. “Okay, just checking.”
My father had a heart attack on Saturday and spent Father’s Day having a nearly 3 hour procedure to save his life. My oldest has a difficult oral surgery tomorrow and will be in bed most of the week. In between, I am grieving someone I loved in Kenya and praying for Maureen and our Mercy House girls in the depths of sorrow mingled with the joy of two more babies born on Friday and through most of it, my husband was out of town. And I was out of my mind.
I haven’t slept well in a week and it’s Monday again. The week ahead is daunting, but instead of chasing after it, I’m looking for the new mercies in it.
Terrell, my husband, overheard me say to my 6 year old, “It’s been a hard week, honey.” He said, thinking of his sister who died in January, “It’s been a hard year.”
He’s right. I am just a fragile clay jar, pressed on every side, but not crushed, sustained inwardly by a living God. He keeps me going:
“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you…..
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” -From 2 Corinthians Chapter 4
Maybe your in a season of trials and you need this promise, too.
How to find God on this Monday:
- Choose gratitude no matter what. Keeping a list of things we are thankful for doesn’t change the situation, it changes us.
- Choose to let go of what doesn’t matter-dirty room, piles of laundry, it’s okay.
- Choose to let Him carry the burden. I’m reminding myself that difficult days don’t take God by surprise, He’s right in the middle of it.
- Choose to trust His heart for you when you can’t understand where His hand is leading.
I can’t thank y’all enough for your love and prayers the past week. I can feel them.