Signs You Might Be a Mom

I cleaned out my big blue purse this week. You know since it was taking me 9.2 minutes to find my keys in the sea of stuff. Plus, I thought I was imagining an odor coming from the bag. Besides all my junk, I pulled out a progress report, a Pictionary Card Game, a smashed granola bar, two hair bows, a battery,  a plastic lizard, a small screwdriver and behold, two of my son’s dirty socks.

If my purse was ever stolen, there would be NO DOUBT I was either a mom or the Unabomber.

Some signs you might be a mom (from me and mostly the best Facebook Community ever):
You double-knot everything you tie.

You find yourself humming “What would the fox say?” (I dare you not to look it up on Youtube).

You really want Repunzel to GET A HAIRCUT.

You ask your husband if he needs to go potty while you’re on a date.

You can discipline your kids with JUST A LOOK.

You count to 5 constantly (keeping track of all the kiddos).

You have wipes and Kleenex in every room/car/bag.You go to grab your wallet and you pull out a Baggie with a tooth!
You point out diggers/construction trucks/animals out loud even when you are on your own.
You might be a mom of boys if…you find a snake head in a bowl of water on the kitchen counter!You dish your husbands dinner, making sure nothing touches, and cut his chicken into bite-sized pieces.You read closed captions out loud…even when alone.

You can stop any argument or fight with the kids by just shouting, “wow pow pow pow pow pa pow!!” And then they all break into dance.

You go to a meeting and pull a cheerio out of your pocket with your business card.

You have a pair of Star Wars angry bird underwear in your purse.

You find miniature ninjas in the bottom of your coffee cup when you finally finish drinking it…

You are constantly humming kids songs and don’t even realize it.

All sorts of things come out of your washer/dryer that were hidden in your son’s pockets… coins, rocks, sticks!!!

When your husband has a little something on his face, you lick your finger and go to clean it without thinking twice about it.

You call random people you know by your kids name, especially when they are ticking you off.

You say “so help me” several times a day.

You have a Hello Kitty bandaid on your leg, and a Batman bandaid on your finger.

You find yourself uttering all of your mom’s sayings from your childhood…”give me strength” or “I hope your child whines half as much as you do one day”.

You send the kids outside to play so you could watch Mr. Rogers in peace and quiet.

The only money in your wallet is plastic play money.

You go to the bathroom with little eyes staring at you.

You find yourself enjoying the toy aisle to see what’s new when you’re supposed to be grocery shopping.

You unscrew the top of the sippy cup and drink.

You can snap your fingers and their heads snap to see who’s in trouble.

You use your own shirt as a Kleenex, mop, napkin, and pouch for carrying toys to the correct toy box.

You look at one of your children that is just like you and get scared of the future.

You realize that your mom was right about you having one just like you and then you laugh because she gets to babysit.

You find reasons to discipline your child with an early bedtime just so YOU can go to bed early, too!

You  accidentally called your husband “daddy” in public (probably more than once) when the kids weren’t with you.

You have baby wipes stashed in multiple places in your car and house…and you may have whipped them out to wipe tomato sauce off a colleague at lunch recently

You know you’re a mom when you drive hours, sit in freezing weather, and rearrange schedules just to watch your child play an hour of soccer.

Moms, have a great weekend!  You deserve it.


Comments

  1. says

    So true!!!! My mother and I had a good giggle out loud more than once at the list, because we have experienced more than one of them! Our favourite? “You realize that your mom was right about you having one just like you and then you laugh because she gets to babysit”
    Thank you for an entertaining (because it is so true!) post
    Blessings!

  2. Penny says

    When I got to the one about, What does the fox say?” I fell out laughing. My 15 year old plays that everyday. My husband can’t believe they made a song so dumb. I think in this crazy world, we need something to make us laugh hysterically so we don’t get too serious.
    Blessings!

  3. Gina Mohrhoff says

    …”Enjoying the toy aisle to see what’s new…” Amen! My kids are 17 and 14, and I STILL wheel the cart through the toys because WHY NOT?? Toys are so much more fun than groceries anyway. And someday I’m gonna have grandkids. I have to be in the know!

  4. Natasha says

    Here’s 2 more. You rock the grocery cart back and forth even though you left the baby at home. And when things go missing you search through the fridge, trash bin and the bag of flour. This post is hilarious.

  5. Nichole says

    Haha I found a pair of my daughters leotards… You know when you force them to dress up and wear them but then an hour into the service or whatnot you just let them take them off because they are whining, itching and sighing far too loudly. ……

  6. says

    How about, you pick up a stack of napkins tall enough to wipe all the faces in the restaurant? I still do this, even when I’m eating alone or with a friend, even though both children have left the nest. Sigh. Old habits. . . prepare us for grandchildren!

  7. says

    My personal favourite and one that might just be uttered very frequently in my home starts with “Dear Naked Barbie in my hallway….” seriously – I buy the Barbie clothes – why won’t she wear them?

    A close second is the “that doesn’t go there” I constantly mutter.
    I’ve turned it into a fun Instagram game … because mom has to have fun too.

  8. says

    Haha! I’m a teacher, not a mom, and I have occasionally asked friends if anyone needs to use to potty before we get in the car. Glad I am not alone!

  9. says

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