What Our Yes Really Means

I opened the door and two friends looked up from tagging jewelry in the Mercy House building that sits in my backyard.  Both pregnant with eight month swollen bellies touching the table in front of them, both serving on a Thursday night, both due within a couple of days of each other.

I handed them a list and paused when one of my friends asked, “Do you ever get tired of saying yes?”

It’s one of those heavy questions.

It’s hard to answer.

It changes every day.

It doesn’t change at all.

My yes to God isn’t what I thought it would be.

Joy in a Kenyan Slum

Joy in a Kenyan Slum

But is it ever? Our any of the yes’ we say in this life safe and fun and everything we’d hoped they would be? God has a way or shielding us from seeing and knowing too much.

My yes to marriage isn’t what I thought it would be. It has been harder and better than I ever dreamed.

My yes to motherhood has been filled with my most challenging moments and also my proudest. How can we know what that tiny baby will do to us?

When we say yes to marriage, to parenthood, to God, what we are really saying is, I am committed.

Because we don’t know how long the nights will be,

Or how far love will take us or how quickly the feelings will flee,

We aren’t promised our babies will be born healthy or stay that way,

We don’t know unemployment is around the bend, with grouchy teens and sleepless nights.

We can’t imagine our yes will take us back to the slum that broke our hearts again and again.

Yes is our choice to live.

Sometimes there’s a long pause between the question and answer.

It might be heartache.

Doubt and disbelief.

It could be weariness.

Overwhelming work.

Or fear.

“I do. I get tired of my yes,” I answered my friend after a long pause. “But my yes in the good times, the bad times, the ups and downs, the beauty and the ashes, still means yes.”

No matter what.

Because where my yes ends, He begins.


Comments

  1. 2

    Heather says

    You have such a great perspective, and you inspire me to think differently with every post that you have. Thank you for challenging me and for bringing me closer to God.

  2. 8

    says

    Love this. It’s been one of those days where I’ve been wondering what it’s all for. Thanks for the reminder.

    How lucky everyone in your life is that you’ve said yes. XO

  3. 9

    says

    There is nothing like the peace that settles over my soul when I know God is knocking and I have opened the door. Many times I’ve had no idea what was waiting on the other side, but it’s always a chance to draw closer to him, depend on him more, and watch him work through me. Humbling? Yes. Oh, yes.

  4. 10

    says

    It is beautifully expressed. I never found such a unique writing ever. For my each and every work I use to believe that it is encouraged by some eternal power. Although in my materialistic life I have not seen it but I feel its existence. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful blog with us.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>