Your newsfeed probably looks a like mine.
Disagreements on Duggars and a torrential flood of opinion on transgenders. Racial divide. Controversy. Hate.
Last week, I decided to avoid the conflict and instead write about my son at the pool.
Yeah.
And while it’s disheartening to see my name and blog being shamed online by a small percentage of readers for supposedly shaming innocent girls, I believe my community at large understands my heart, supports truth and can clearly recognize the double standard.
I’ve never apologized for being a Christian parent and a conservative writer. I’ve never hidden that I believe in absolute truth or avoided the Bible’s standard of right and wrong. I’ve never run from standing up for what I believe in. I’ve openly shared about my desire to raise Godly kids who live a pure life. Over the past 8 years, I’ve also talked about my family’s failures in faith. So, it’s always a shock when my views are attacked and ridiculed for being conservative.
Although I tend to find unkindness a little unsettling, I honestly don’t care what people think about me.
But I am weary.
Maybe you are, too.
My newsfeed makes me sad. The divide and contempt and disrespect for each other makes me tired. I’m weary of the double standard that says we can speak freely and take a stand for what we believe in as long as it’s politically correct or doesn’t offend anyone.
It’s not just liberals against conservatives or Christians against atheists, it’s also ugliness between Christians. Maybe that’s the most exhausting thing of all?
We all read opinions we don’t agree with or have family and friends we don’t see eye t0 eye with on every subject. For some reason in our culture, we’ve drawn the line in the sand so many times, we are gridlocked and everything is a battle. Except what matters most–loving God first and others more than ourselves.
We have to remember these small battles and disagreements and daily struggles are just that-small and temporary. Because there are real people- believers- facing certain death today. From ISIS in Iraq to Al Shabab terrorist in Kenya, there are followers of Jesus who aren’t worried about sex changes and reality TV stars or being offended by something they don’t agree with.
So, what do we do when we are weary and heavy-ladened?
We keep doing what is right.
But we choose kindness over proving we are right.
We refuse to run away when the world opposes us.
We shine our light wherever we go.
We pray for our enemies.
We remember who the enemy really is (and it’s not always those who disagrees with us).
Above all, we love people no matter what.
So, if you’re like me and you find yourself a little weary of all the heartache and heartbreak in our world-don’t give up and don’t lose heart.
For greater is He that is in me, than he who is in the world.
I wish I could say I was surprised by the reaction last week. I tried leaving a comment, before you had to close them, but I think your page hates me because 95% of the time my comment doesn’t post 🙂 That being said, I loved what you wrote last week. I agree–the Christian vs. Christian stuff makes me sad and makes me weary. I have been (and will continue) to pray for you for being a light.
God bless!
I was able to comment on your open letter post. I support what you wrote 100%. I also was not surprised at any negative comments you received. It’s sad that you were attacked for rearing Godly children. Just keep doing what God has called you to do. It is the right thing.
I wrote a very similar thing as a Facebook status recently the gist was what if our first reactions were Ephesians 4:32 and philipians 2:3-4 and then shared both verses.
Our identities as a whole are so wrapped up in what others are thinking, doing and saying, so wrapped up in comparing so that we are better than those around us. When our identities are wrapped where they should be, as children of God, we can see others through him and respond to others with His love exuding His Fruit.
Also as a mama of three boys and as a stupid insecure girl who grew up searching for my identity through the opinions of others/boys. I related to your recent post. There is another side of course but you weren’t saying there wasn’t you were just sharing the one you have to deal with.
Keep going. The enemy wants you to give up but God’s not going to let you go. There is a strong feeling of weariness in the church at the moment and it seems like the enemy is trying to beat us down so we give up. But God is greater and praise Him that Jesus has overcome the world.
Thank you so much for that – exactly what I needed to hear right now. I feel very weary too – and more and more feeling in the minority. I have just come off FB to read my sister-in-law’s comments about her going in to her son’s room this morning to wish him a Happy Birthday – only to find him in bed with a naked woman beside him…. and she thought it was hilarious! Then, reading the comments from friends and family congratulating him….Not what I wanted to read about my nephew on FB… !!!! It’s just so disheartening sometimes… I know that we live in a world now that is becoming more and more against our faith and what we are trying to teach our children, and although we need to understand others’ decisions, I know that we can’t be compromising our beliefs. So thank you so much for the encouragement right now!
I am also one of those Christian parents who struggles with raising Godly children. Thank you for your blog. It’s reaffirms for me that we will be ridiculed and persecuted in this world, but it’s temporal. I’m in this race for the greater good.
I am speaking 1 Thessalonians 5:11 over you today:
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”
You’re Awesome!!!!
I so needed to read that this morning. I have been so worn out from all the “big stuff” being thrown around everywhere. I thought maybe it was just me. Nice to know I’m not alone.
Thank you for your post the other day. I have 3 girls and took no offense. It was spot on and it’s what my husband and I are trying to instill in our girls. I know you are weary, but keep fighting the good fight! There are a MULTITUDE of women that are encouraged and less weary because you are speaking the truth in an honest and uplifting way. Thank you, Kristen!
Beautifully written – and exactly my heart this morning. There is so much ugliness in the world – anger, hurt, hate and pain. But, our God is a beautiful hope in all of that. My prayer is that I will shine a tiny light of hope, joy and love into the world. Thank you for writing, for sharing your heart and thoughts.
If only your page included ‘like’ buttons for what you wrote, and for the supporting loving comments that people are writing. BIGHUG!!!!
I’ve filtered out a lot of negativity on my news feed by un-following, hiding, and sometimes even un-friending. And in some cases, I just have to exit out of it and get back to work or play with my kids.
I believe when we are doing/speaking what Christ wants us to, we will be attacked. So take heart. Satan is mad and he’s gonna take it out on you! Know that this just means you’re doing what God has called you to do. You’ve spoken the truth friend. You’ve done what God has called you to do. It’s not fun when Satan riddles us with difficulties, but we can know we’re rattling his cage and he doesn’t like it. God is pleased with what you have spoken. He will bless you!!!
Thank you for your post today. It is exactly what I needed this morning. Thank you for standing up for your beliefs, respectfully. Thanks, also, Jill, for sharing 1 Thessalonians 5:11. We need to be doing so much more of this.
You have no idea how you talked directly to my heart and spoke in response to the very thoughts running through my mind this week. I have struggled, or rather, waged war this week against being right. Kindness is always better but it is hard. It does hurt. I’m reminded that is why I am to cast my burdens onto Christ, instead. At the same time, I wanted to encourage you that the only way to not make enemies is to never believe or speak any truth. Thank you for reaffirming the lessons I’ve been struggling with this past week. <3
I have two daughters & one son. I was so NOT offended by what you wrote last week! I am teaching my children & trying to instill the same moral & ethical qualities that you are teaching yours. I do not want any of my children to think of the other sex as objects or to treat them as such.
I totally agree with your double standard comment also. It seems that unless you are politically correct in your thoughts & words that you are considered ignorant & hateful. It seems everyone can endorse other views but you cannot oppose them.
Thank you for your boldness in expressing your thoughts & beliefs!
Amen! “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” – Romans 12:12
“I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His spirit….Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.” Eph 3:16-17
“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” Gal 6:9
Sweet promises from God to you, Kristen…..and to all of us who trust in Him!
I appreciate what you wrote about your son at the pool. I am a mom of 3 boys…4,5, and 6. You were able to put words to feelings I have already begun to have. Thank you for the encouragement and boldness about raising pure boys. I believe God gave me these 3 for a reason and it is my job to protect them and build them up to be pure, Godly men.
There’s this word–surrender. If we all lived with open hands and didn’t try so hard to hold to our rights to be right and gave up just to walk in submission with our Savior, unity would happen. We don’t have to be right and hold the win up high. Heads down, world small, and love whomever comes into our shere…the world might know us by our love. Keep it up, Kristen. Walking alone is lonely, but you are never really walking alone!
Exactly what I needed to read this morning, and the comments have added richly. Keep on keeping on. You are touching more people with the gospel than you will ever know.
Acts 20:24…24 But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.
You’re amazing. Please don’t ever stop what you are doing. Last week our pastor said, it’s not easy to run with God, it’s a lot easier to run with the crowd….
Spot.on. Seriously, if I could hug you right now, I would. We don’t have to prove that we are right and certainly right never stomps on another in an ugly way. We don’t have to point out the flaws we perceive in others. We just need to be a light. We need to remember Him whom we love. We need to remember that Satan wants us to think we’re fighting against one another when in reality it’s him we’re at war with. And then we need to get over ourselves and remember that the battle belongs to the Lord. We need only be still. (Ex. 14:14)
Hi Kristin,
I have been following your blog for awhile now. I always love what you write. You always put into words exactly what I am thinking. I completely agreed with your post the other day. I have two daughters and a son, and these are the values that am trying to instill in them too. Thanks for not being afraid to speak up for what you feel is right!
I love this so much. Thank you, Kristen, for standing firm and for sharing your journey. I have very thin skin, so I can’t imagine enduring the hatefulness you’ve had thrown at you the past week, but please know that those who are with you are more than those who are against you (2 Kings 6:16). You and your family are such an encouragement to me – more than you will ever know – to keep going, keep trying, keep fighting the fight for my children. So thank you.
I’m doing John Bevere’s study “The Bait of Satan” right now, and never realized before this study that all this super-offendedness pervading our world these days is a sign of the end times. Jesus, talking about end times in Matthew 24:9-10, said, “Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and kill you, and you will be hated by all nations for My name’s sake. And then MANY WILL BE OFFENDED, will betray one another, and will hate one another.” Isn’t that interesting?! People being so offended about everything all the time is just another tactic of the enemy to take our focus off God as his (Satan’s) time draws short. Stay the course, friends, and keep your eyes on Jesus!
I struggle every day. I am a Christian, but I don’t know the Bible inside and out and I have little desire to now. I see Christians taking the Word of God and twisting it to suit their lifestyle so they can justify their actions and I see non-Christians using the Word to point out all my faults. I am so tired that I don’t even know what I believe any more. I will be digging in to your blog more, getting to know you better and just a head’s up – I might track you down on FB for an actual conversation. Thank you for the encouragement to keep pressing in. It gets harder every day though.
Oh, Dawn, flee to Jesus. Read the Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, and maybe some Acts, and just marinate in Jesus. He won’t condemn you. He didn’t come here for that. Don’t listen to all those gabbling voices *about* Jesus or about the Word, only the Word itself and what the Holy Spirit teaches you through it. I love a Bible study or a good preacher or teacher, but as I get older, I’m feeling like I just need to read and sit with the stories of Jesus, and get to know Him rather than about Him.
Dawn, I’ll be praying for you!
I needed this so much right now. I feel comforted knowing others are weary. I’m so weary and just cry when I look at my news feed – or any news period.
Thank you for your words!!
I want to share that although we are often light years apart on beliefs and issues that are important and matter to us individually, I too am weary of conflict and often just downright meanness from people who disagree with me. It’s as if they believe taking a verbal hammer to my head will move me over to their beliefs, etc. When I don’t budge, the hammer gets larger and heavier. Respect and concern for others has been replaced by a huge need to be right. I want to shout out t them to just keep scrolling! No one is being forced to read what I write on my own social media page! And like you, I don’t care what others think of me. But I’m weary of behavior that is just downright……ugly.
I am so happy that I came across this blog post, I too feel the weariness you describe, and some days it is so heavy it seems like it is a physical weight on my heart. We all need to remember to run to Christ especially in those times, and surrender our burdened hearts to him. Thank you for speaking the truth, don’t ever stop. You will be in my prayers.
I am very confused by the post at the pool and negativity towards it. The negativity repeats saying that your son shouldn’t be noticing the girls at the pool and its not the girl’s fault. Am I misunderstanding when I thought I read that they were repeatedly interrupting you and your family on a day out. These girls were going up to him. Not just once but repeatedly. It was the actions of the girls that prompted the article. The word “hot” didn’t come from the writer (mother) but from the girls so it’s not as if she was calling her son hot. I am so very distraught hearing about those who were sexually mistreated. I hope you change your mind and feel like me about being glad some parents like the writer are actually working on making their child grow up to be different than those who hurt others. I have children too. Thank you for bringing this to mind. Blessings!
Me too, Kristen. Tired and weary, but choosing love. Lovely one, keep shining your light for Christ. Xox
Yes! Yes! I so agree with you. I had to “unfollow” a popular Christan women’s speaker on twitter last week because I couldn’t take the “hate”. I just have to keep reminding myself that “we battle Not against flesh and blood”! I get your blog post in email form, so wasn’t aware that there was any controversy over the pool girl post. Gotta say I’m shocked that anyone in their right mind would be offended by what you wrote! You are such a blessing and wonderful role model! Keep doing what God has called you to do!
It always amazes me what Christians will say on social media that they would not dream of saying to someone’s face in the “real” world. I too have unfollowed people on Facebook because I need to be able to look them in the eye on Sunday morning and not have the overwhelming desire to take them to task for their un-Christian attitudes on Facebook! If they’ll know us by our love, we’re doing a mighty poor job of showing who we are…..
Keep up the good work, Kristen, both here on your blog and raising your lovely children. I’m glad to know there are parents like you out there raising the next generation!!
Kirsten, your willingness to share your journey as woman, wife and mother on your blog, encourage and build up many more people out there than you know. We read your words and thank God we are not alone. God says himself that He looks within us, at our heart. Thank you for being a transparent, imperfect seeker of love and truth. Your writing is needed and much appreciated.
Thank you for this post! Sometimes it’s hard to remember who we are fighting against. I also read your post about the pool. As a Mother of a girl I am so very hopeful that my daughter will meet a good Christian young man like you are raising your son to be. I was definitely not offended by what you said, only hopefull that my daughter never acts like those young women did. The only reason I can see for someone to be upset is that they feel bad they haven’t taught their daughter to know better than to do those things. Keep doing what you do!
Keep doing what you’re doing. Your post about your son and the girls was spot on.
No rest for the weary! Shine on Kristen!
You took the words right out of my mouth Kristen. This is how I’ve been feeling lately too. Weary and just plain tired of it all. Let us encourage and hold one another up in prayer during these dark times. Blessings to you!
I just want you to know that this blog has helped me in so many ways, I cannot even begin to summarize. Thank you, thank you, thank you for being the voice for so many of us. Thank you for standing up for what you believe, for being bold, and for not being afraid. <3
I for one, just love what you write, who you are, and Who you stand for! God bless you and don’t let others ruin your day, not ever! ♥
I was catching up on email, blog reading , etc last week when I saw you had to close the comments for your post: re your son at the pool. I was perplexed so I read it again, and again. I was trying to find what angered others. I don’t see it. I love that you are teaching your son to be an upstanding young man of God, who might someday date my daughter. I love that you stood up for protecting your family time. I love that you stand up against the world, and for the truth, when you post about it. Run the good race and don’t grow weary doing what’s right. I, for one, will keep,reading and being encouraged by your writings.
I love this. All of this. And I’m in full agreement with you….yes, yes and yes. I am not aware of the kerfuffle from your post, although I did read it [and thought nothing of it]. The same people who would bash your Christian stance of how *young* boys and girls should ask are the same people who will burn you alive if you *dare* to disagree that Bruce Jenner becoming Caitlin Jenner should be anything other than celebrated and embraced.
What a weird, twisted (and hopeless) world we live in. Thank God I know where I’m going after this!
*act, not ask 😉
I feel like I need to add, “Thank you Jesus for continually inspiring me to believe in you no matter how hopeless I may see this world as. If that is not the very definition of hope, then I don’t know what is.” 🙂
Well, speaking as a liberal who has had become accustomed to being “closeted” about my opinions around my conservative family, in order to make it through Thanksgiving without causing trouble, let me just say that it would be refreshing if once, JUST ONCE, someone on the other side of the aisle would say “I don’t totally agree, but your opinions are valid and I’ll try to see where you’re coming from.”
I don’t expect to anyone’s mind to change, but if I could express a contradictory view without being accused of being “godless” or “brainwashed” or “politically correct” (seriously–it isn’t 1995, “politically correct” just means “not being a jerk” nowadays) would really be lovely.
I’m so glad you wrote this. I am weary and I have been weary. Clearly, I need to pray more 🙂
I shared a blog that I read last week (not yours) that was maybe a little hard to hear and I received backlash from two Christians on my FB page. I was floored and two of my other Christian friends, as well as myself, rallied, got our thoughts together and tried to educate on not waivering from God’s word. (I agree Christian vs. Christian is scary sad!) We spoke mostly about the lies that satan is and will spin for us. Right will appear wrong and Wrong will appear right. 🙁 I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your words (all of them). So frequently I feel like you are in my head and you’ve got me pondering the idea of starting a blog and of getting out of my comfort zone with service and the poor. Your book has really really moved me. I’ve really been trying to feel and hear the Holy Spirti within me, He’s so powerful when we let Him be. And unfortunatley, it’s not going to get any easier for Christians. It’s only going to get harder and we will continue to be in the line of fire. I’m guilty of not being prepared, but I’m certainly working on it and so is the Holy Spirit. AGAIN, thank you!
That song was running through my head as I read your post.
Kristen, I have two girls. No sons. But I tell you what, I strive with all my might to have my girls be considerate of boys in this way. I was not offended by your post one bit. It’s real. And it’s sad. My heart hurts for girls that throw themselves at boys; that are physically inappropriate and suggestive. It bothers me the most when I see sweet girls of God doing it. I wonder what’s going on in their hearts and lives that they feel the need to cry out for attention that way.
I also feel for the boys who become their victims.
I appreciate your honesty. There will always be naysayers, but usually those that get most offended are really just feeling….convicted? Share on, woman! Do not let the voices of others change what you feel led by the Lord to share on this space. Blessings to you!
Next time don’t post something so misogynistic then. And then don’t throw a tantrum and close comments because a rape survivor dared tell you that you were contributing to rape culture, that just makes you lose all sympathy.
LL, you are certainly entitled to your opinion, as we all are. But I’m not sure why you would spend your time on this blog if you have so little respect for the author.
In my opinion, teaching young women, to act like ladies, have self-respect, show restraint, and not to pathetically throw themselves at a boy who is not interested and trying to spend time with his family, isn’t misogynistic, it’s exactly the opposite.
Teaching a girl that she is a priceless treasure, created and loved by God, which is where her true worth comes from, is a good thing. Also not misogynistic.
Flaunting your body and/or desperately trying to gain attention by whatever means necessary is sad. I know. I was one of those girls. I was trying so hard to fill a void in my heart and was going about it in a tragically misguided way.
I’m confused at why you would think that anything the author said is misogynistic. She’s a woman. Why do you think she hates women (or girls)? Nothing she said demonstrated an ounce of hate, but rather concern and love.
The “rape culture” comment just plain boggles my mind. I’ve read the comments and I’m still not sure how anyone could construe anything that the author said as a contribution to rape culture. Again, exactly the opposite.
Show respect for yourself & don’t throw yourself at boys = rape?? Really??
Very bad things happen to good people who are living out strong biblical values. Does that mean that when the bad things happen, it’s the values that are to blame? I just don’t understand the thinking there.
Why the need for such negativity, sister? Why not give some uplifting, encouraging feedback on a blog with an author you can really get behind?
Those comments last week hurt my heart for you. I had to quit most of my social media because of the hate. I am slowly getting back in there but I am super careful about it. I don’t understand someone above trying to start another fight on your blog. Apparently being “right” is more important than kindness. Keep writing from your heart. He knows yours…and that is all that matters.
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