In Honor of The Real Labor Day

A couple of years on Labor Day, I shared the hardest labor I’ve ever done: Becoming a mom!

I thought I’d share my facts again and you can do the same in the comments.

We will give each other a virtual, sweaty high-five!

How long were your labors?

Kid #1, 12 hours

Kid #2, 10 hours

Kid #3, 8 hours

How did you know you were in labor?

Kid #1, 2 weeks late, induced due to begging.

Kid #2, 1 week early, induced due to threatening

Kid #3, 7 weeks early, emergency c-section, because I like to mix it up a little.

Where did you deliver?

In the safety and security of the hospital, where most patients with OCD deliver.

Drugs?

Yes, many and all kinds.

C-section?

On my last one, after 7-8 hours of laboring without dilation, I was rushed down the hall because the baby and I weren’t doing well. I’ve never been more afraid of a nurse with a razor!

Who delivered?

Kid #1- A nice midwife who sat on the end of my bed to ‘take a looksey’ broke the end of my bed–completely off—she went on to do a great job!

Kid #2- We moved when I was 8.5 months pregnant and a very reluctant doctor I only met once, delivered my son.  When she told me I was too far along to accept as a new patient, I burst into tears and said my hubby would have to do it.  She quickly changed her policy.

Kid #3- The best OB in Texas!  I love this woman.  I’m pretty sure she saved my daughter’s life!

How about you? What are your numbers?

Did you adopt? (how long did you wait? Those hours should win you a trophy!)

 

originally posted, Sept. 1, 2008


Parenting Doesn’t Get Easier. But We Can Go Easy on Other Parents

That screaming boy in Target.

That mismatched messy girl in the restaurant.

That eye roll.

I have silently judged, questioned and mentally accused the mothers of these children.

Because I was an excellent mother-

Before I had kids.

And then I became a mom and I discovered just how wrong I’d been.

Hand holding cardboard

 

Because if the world judged how great a mom I was by my well-behaved kids who are styled to perfection without ever displaying attitude or laziness–I would be in deep trouble.

Parenting is hard.

The kind of hard that knocks you off your feet, leaves you gasping for air, and has you wondering what the heck just happened all before 8 a.m.

I used to think if I could just get them to sleep through the night or eat their veggies or stop crying, or pick up their toys, or stop fighting with their siblings, or make a new friend, or get a better grade or stop slamming their doors, or fill in the blank–then parenting would be easier.

But then I realized parenting doesn’t get easier.

It just changes.

I understand now that the little boy is probably screaming in Target because his mom told him no. She is being consistent even though it’s hard. She’s second-guessing herself and she really just wants to cry along with him.

I get the mismatched messy girl at the restaurant because that mom chose her battle. She let the little things go and is just simply doing her best.

I can now appreciate letting teenagers get away with the eye roll. Because you can’t win them all.

Once I heard a exuberant, quirky guest speaker say, “You might think I’m wrong because I do things different than you do. You might wonder why I get excited more than most or pump my fist or jump up and down. You might judge me. Go ahead. Because you don’t know the road I’ve walked. You can’t understand that this fist bump means I haven’t quit. This jump means I will not give up. I may not do things the way you do them, but I do it my way for a reason. And that doesn’t make me wrong.”

The thing is we may never understand why other parents do what they do. And then again, we may totally get it when we reach that next trying and beautiful phase.

But the truth is we all know how hard parenting is. We all try to do our best, hoping we offer our kids mercy or justice when it’s needed most. We all love our children. The last thing we need is to second guess the way someone else is parenting.

An encouraging word, a kind look, a sympathetic smile can change someone’s day. Including your own.

And if your a parent, you’re going to need it.

 



Saying Yes. Again.

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Four years ago we said yes to the improbable. The impossible. It seems like yesterday we sat down and planned out something we would call Mercy House. It seems like forever ago. 2011 "Several times over the course of the weekend, the … [Continue reading]