The Christian Parent Manifesto

We walked into church and my daughter grabbed my arm and whispered, “Why is it so crowded?” I looked around and she was right, every seat was filled.

“This is what happens when Christians think the world is ending,” I whispered back.

“Mom!” she said as we found our seat.

I wasn’t sure she even understand my sarcasm. It was the week of the Supreme Court decision when I wrote about love instead of fear. On the way home from church, I told my kids about the packed-out churched the Sunday after the 9/11 attack and explained that people often look to the church when they are unsure of where our world is headed or if they are afraid.

We talk a lot about cultural norms and shifts in our home because I want to teach my kids God’s standard of right and wrong, especially when issues become hot topics in our society. Because I know for a fact that their peers will be talking about what they are reading online and I’ve always wanted my kids to compare what they hear with what they’ve been taught in God’s Word, so they will know His standard in contrast to the world’s.

“Should we be afraid?” one of my kids piped up from the backseat.

We are living in uncertain times and what used to be unthinkable is now daily headlines. When I read about nearly 100 children being executed in the Middle East by ISIS lunatics because they refused to fast, I couldn’t help but want to protect my children from the evil in this world.

I understand that teaching absolute truth that sometimes contradicts cultural norms could be making life a little more challenging for them. And if the evil that is targeting Christians in the Middle East ever found its way here . . .honestly, the thought terrifies me.

But perfect love casts out fear, so we are just going to love people and hold onto Jesus.

I woke up in the middle of the night burdened for our world and these challenging times when truth becomes a battleground; hate is louder than love and children have become targets of an evil enemy. I am not a doomsday crier, but it doesn’t take a genius to recognize that our world has become more violent, darker and more uncertain in the past few years.  I wrote this manifesto as a reminder of what I want to teach my children about following Jesus in uncertain times:

The Christian Parent Manifesto

This world is not our final home.

Because of this, we won’t always fit in, and actually, we should strive not to conform to the world.

The Bible is our standard for holiness and guides our everyday living.

Truth may shift in our culture, but we look to God’s Word as our standard.

There will be people who choose to live differently than we do. This doesn’t affect, change or alter how we treat them.

We love people no matter what.

There are scary things in this world, but we can hold fast to the peace of God.

His peace comforts us when we don’t understand things around us.

God is in control and He sees all and knows all.

One day, He will return for us.

This is our blessed hope.

Until that day, we will stand for what we believe is right.

We will serve others who cannot serve themselves.

We will speak up for those who have been muffled by oppression and poverty.

We will give more than we take.

We will love others because He first loved us.

We will follow Jesus wherever He leads.

(Download a copy for your family here) (or print one here)

I don’t always know how to navigate this changing culture as a Christian parent.

But this is a good guide:

“Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got! Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.” Deut. 6:5-7

This Is What I’m Going To Do Today (In Response to the Supreme Court Ruling)

While my kids slept in on a summer morning, the world changed.

And I’m not just talking about new legislation.

On Friday, while some celebrated and others fell into discouragement, terrorists had a bloody field day on the world. Again.

Children lost parents, little girls were raped, men were beheaded, the poor faced another hungry night, women faced unspeakable oppression and innocent blood ran in the streets, while racial hate crimes and tension continue to divide our country. We might have paused to read a headline or shuddered at the atrocities our neighbors are facing, and then gone about our normal life.  I’m convinced if Christians spent half as much time praying for those suffering as we do arguing with those we don’t agree with, the Church would be stronger and our world would be a different place.

Children from minority Yazidi sect, fleeing violence from forces loyal to Islamic State in Sinjar town, make way towards Syrian border, on outskirts of Sinjar mountain

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It’s probably not shocking that our family disagrees and is saddened by this new law. We are also discouraged by the hate on both sides of the opinion and the lack of concern for the poor and persecuted in our world.

This isn’t the first time courts have tried to redefine truth based on cultural shifts or opinion. I still hold fast to a Biblical worldview, not a secular one and we choose to live by the truth in God’s Word.  I’m convinced that God’s love for mankind cannot be limited or defined by our culture and we will continue to look for ways to love people.

This decision may change Christianity in America. But I believe it needs to change.

We are too comfortable in our easy faith.

We are too concerned about our neighbor’s sin when our own is glaring.

We need less comfort and more concern for others.

We need to spend less and give more.

We need to cling to the Cross instead of fear.

We need less of us, more of Him.

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Our faith in action isn’t a To Do List. It’s a response to Christ laying down His life for us. We comfort and care because we have been comforted and cared for. We give because He has been generous to us. We love because He first loved us.

I want people to see my love for others louder than my opinions and doctrine. I want my children to see me love people. Period. Locally and globally. The Church hasn’t done a good job of both standing for absolute truth and loving  people no matter their religious beliefs, race or sexual preference. It’s time we do both well.

If we hold the Bible as truth, we know the end of time as we know it, will come. And we can let hope arise within us or walk in defeat. We can convince people we are right or we can lay down our life for those we think are wrong. We can spend our days bemoaning a Supreme Court decision or we can spend it on the Great Commission.

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One is easier than the other.

It’s easy to be right. It’s easy to ignore the needs of others.

Do not be astonished, brothers and sisters, that the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life because we love one another. Whoever does not love abides in death. All who hate a brother or sister are murderers, and you know that murderers do not have eternal life abiding in them. We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help?

Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.

At the end of the day, this is what I want my kids to know: Love really does win- The Greatest Love of all defeated death, hell, the grave and every one of our sins on a Cross more than 2,000 years ago. No  matter what we believe, God is love and legislation can never alter that truth.

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I’ve heard over and over from other Christians in despair…”What now? What do we do now?”

God has not changed—and neither have his requirements for us. “He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” Micah 6:8,

I’ll tell you what I’m going to do today: There are 8 young girls in India, rescued from a brothel where day after day they endured a hell I simply cannot fathom. They have suffered at the hands of evil men and for the first time in their young lives, they are tasting freedom. These 8 precious girls have been making hundreds of earrings for months now-it’s not only kept their hands busy, while they’ve experienced real love, it’s renewed their self esteem, restored hope and provided sustainable income.

I’m going to pray for them. I’m going to tell their story. I’m going to find 50 more women to buy their earrings so we can provide more jobs. I’m going to close my eyes and imagine their beautiful faces in the middle of their hell because it’s too dangerous for me to see their photographs.  And the next day I’m going to do the same with another group in Kenya, and then Ethiopia and the Middle East. Because that’s the need in front of me. This is how I can love the world around me today.

That’s what I’m going to do.

What about you?

Join the Club that is empowering women and changing their world!

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The Serving Bowl: 3 Simple Ways to Serve This Summer

[This post contains affiliate links]

So far, summer looks different for our family.

It’s the first time since our teens were toddlers that my husband works from home and I work at the Mercy House warehouse three days a week.

It’s the first summer our part time, on-the-side yes, is full time.

On the first Monday morning of summer, my kids opted out of sleeping in to go with me to volunteer.

They counted beads from around the world for hours for a big Fair Trade Friday project we’re working on.

(They also set a timer and raced to see who could do the most. I love productivity, so I didn’t mind).

On Tuesday morning, I was going to go by myself to get volunteers started when I overheard my teens tell their dad, “No, we set our alarm to get up and go with mom. Have you seen how much work there is at the warehouse? She needs us.”

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I smiled back a Texas-size lump in my throat.

Because sometimes different is good. And sometimes our kids just need to know they are needed.

Of course, our summer work and summer serving will be sprinkled with plenty of summer.

But there will also be plenty of service.

Because we’ve all realized it’s easier to stay home, easier to spend our days doing what we want, but easy doesn’t always make us feel good. Maybe that’s what makes serving so special?

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One morning this week, one of my kids was a little grumpy. I encouraged them to stay home. “Yeah, I can do nothing and feel sorry for myself,” they replied.

Yes, you can.

“Or you can do something for someone else and I promise you’ll feel better about yourself and your life,” I replied as I headed to the car.

My kids had a great time that morning and when a family stopped by so their little 9 year old could drop off the $80 her family raised with a Mercy House bake sale, my kids noticed me trying not to cry.

And the grumpy one left that warehouse without a care in the world because that’s what happens when you care about the world.

I didn’t even have to say I told you so.

(It also might have helped that their youth pastor called to ask if he could bring students to serve every week of the summer. Serving is contagious fun).

Turn a few days this summer into a sacrifice. You will be so glad you did!

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I like to think of summer with my kids like a serving bowl. I keep the serving bowl on my counter filled with colorful, healthy fruit for them to eat. When it gets empty, I refill it. When we spoon out what we have an abundance of–time, talent, energy, finances- we fill someone else’s bowl.

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There are a lot of empty bowls out there waiting to be filled!

Here are 3 easy ways to serve this summer:

1. Take someone a meal-get your kids in the kitchen. We took some friends a meal to celebrate their new foster baby a couple of weeks ago and they invited us to share the meal. It wasn’t fancy, but this simple gesture not only filled a bunch of bellies, it filled our hearts to serve someone else.

2. Invite someone to eat with your family. Something as simple as dinner can be such a blessing to someone who usually eats alone or doesn’t always have enough to eat. My kids love when we invite someone into our mess and share our live with them.

3. Turn your regular dinner time into a plan of action. Ask your kids how they want to serve others this summer. They may just surprise you.

 

I’m partnering with Dayspring during their Customer Appreciation sale this week to turn your summer into a serving one. Through this weekend, get one of these beautiful Daily Grace serving pieces pictured above at their lowest price yet!

Daily Grace: Wide Serving Bowl 

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Daily Grace: Pitcher
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How fun would it be to fill one of these up to encourage a neighbor or friend in need this summer?

 

To The Weary Christians in the World

Your newsfeed probably looks a like mine.

Disagreements on Duggars and a torrential flood of opinion on transgenders. Racial divide. Controversy. Hate.

Last week, I decided to avoid the conflict and instead write about my son at the pool.

Yeah.

And while it’s disheartening to see my name and blog being shamed online by a small percentage of readers for supposedly shaming innocent girls, I believe my community at large understands my heart, supports truth and can clearly recognize the double standard.

I’ve never apologized for being a Christian parent and a conservative writer. I’ve never hidden that I believe in absolute truth or avoided the Bible’s standard of right and wrong. I’ve never run from standing up for what I believe in. I’ve openly shared about my desire to raise Godly kids who live a pure life. Over the past 8 years, I’ve also talked about my family’s failures in faith.  So, it’s always a shock when my views are attacked and ridiculed for being conservative.

Although I tend to find unkindness a little unsettling, I honestly don’t care what people think about me.

But I am weary.

Beautiful young woman enjoying summer in a field.

Maybe you are, too.

My newsfeed makes me sad. The divide and contempt and disrespect for each other makes me tired.  I’m weary of the double standard that says we can speak freely and take a stand for what we believe in as long as it’s politically correct or doesn’t offend anyone.

It’s not just liberals against conservatives or Christians against atheists, it’s also ugliness between Christians. Maybe that’s the most exhausting thing of all?

We all read opinions we don’t agree with or have family and friends we don’t see eye t0 eye with on every subject. For some reason in our culture, we’ve drawn the line in the sand so many times, we are gridlocked and everything is a battle. Except what matters most–loving God first and others more than ourselves.

We have to remember these small battles and disagreements and daily struggles are just that-small and temporary.  Because there are real people- believers- facing certain death today. From ISIS in Iraq to Al Shabab terrorist in Kenya, there are followers of Jesus who aren’t worried about sex changes and reality TV stars or being offended by something they don’t agree with.

So, what do we do when we are weary and heavy-ladened?

We keep doing what is right.

But we choose kindness over proving we are right.

We refuse to run away when the world opposes us.

We shine our light wherever we go.

We pray for our enemies.

We remember who the enemy really is (and it’s not always those who disagrees with us).

Above all, we love people no matter what.

So, if you’re like me and you find yourself a little weary of all the heartache and heartbreak in our world-don’t give up and don’t lose heart.

For greater is He that is in me, than he who is in the world. 

Our Culture’s Confusing Message About Courage

I was wide awake by 6 AM on Saturday morning.

I made a cup of strong Ethiopian coffee and drank it black, while the rest of the house slept.

Snuggling up on the couch with a cat and a blanket, I opened my Bible and my laptop and I started thinking about the words I planned to share at The Refugee Project fundraiser tea this weekend.

I stared at the blank screen and typed the first word that came to mind:

Courage.

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I wrote down a few thoughts and turned to Google for a familiar quote I couldn’t quite remember.

I was surprised to find Bruce Jenner at the top of my search for the word courage. 

I didn’t watch his interview the night before, but apparently nearly 15 million people did.

But I only feel compassion for a confused man who decides to become a woman. And I believe God loves him either way and will do anything to let him know it.

The two words most associated on social media with the interview were courage and bravery. And that makes me think that maybe our culture has confused courage with compassion?

We ache for miserable and unhappy people and feel compassion towards them when they do something to change their situation, even if we don’t agree with the choice. This is compassion and it’s good.

I may not understand Bruce Jenner’s choices or agree with them, but I don’t have to in order to feel compassion for him.

What is courage? 

Our culture says it’s when someone is brave enough to pursue happiness for themselves at any cost.

But we aren’t promised happiness in this life. Especially if we are following Jesus.

When I think of courage, I don’t think of a confused former Olympian turned-reality-show-star declaring he’s now a woman. No, instead I think of Tee Mo, a precious refugee lady with a tiny voice and a bulging belly, about to deliver her third child.

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Bravery is this woman who lives in a small apartment with more than a dozen other people in heart of Houston and tries to learn and understand her new home. She left the dirt floors of the refugee camp she was born into in Nepal so her children would have opportunity in America.

When I think of courage, I think of her showing up for weekly ESL classes and working her fingers to crochet something she can sell in order buy diapers for her baby.

When I think of courage, I think of her family and friends digging in rubble, searching for life under collapsed buildings in her homeland.

When I think of courage, I think of first responders and soldiers and people who run into danger to help someone they don’t even know.

When I think of courage, I think of the 100 clergy from all denominations linking arms and walking with the protesters against violence in the streets of Baltimore.

Because no matter what our culture says, courage isn’t thinking about ourselves. It’s not choosing a path that makes us happy at any cost. No, bravery is revealed when we lay down our lives to serve someone else.

This is courage.

9 Ways Families Can Impact The World Right Where They Are

It only takes a couple of minutes of watching the nightly news to recognize our world is a scary place.

I was on my way home from Ethiopia with my daughter when 20 Ethiopian men lost their lives on a beach in Libya. Their crime? The same as mine. They were Christians.

I have to point out the elephant in the room and ask: Do we really care?

I loved walking the streets of Ethiopia and visiting groups of women we are partnering with through Fair Trade Friday. It feels safer than Kenya. It’s not as heavy or oppressive, I whispered to my daughter as we stood in a dump as tall as a mountain and held hands with children who were digging for food.

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Now, I’m sitting in my home safe and sound and one country I visited is in mourning and the other one is burying hundreds of college students massacred by terrorists.

And honestly, I don’t ever want to leave home again.

I’m finding my rhythm, catching up on hot baths, laundry and sweet tea. It’s easy to slip back into the comfort of easy living.

I know God is not safe. He asks us to go further than we think we can go and do things we think we cannot and believe in the impossible.

Sometimes following Jesus is scary as hell, even when God asks us to stay right where we are.

I find staying is as hard as going some days. I’m lulled into thinking I’m safe. I’m sucked into the culture of more stuff, bigger and better and I find it’s actually easy to forget how the rest of the world is living.

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Or dying.

And then some days, I’m haunted by the suffering of people around the globe. They aren’t really different from my family. There are moms wondering what’s for dinner. And dads who travel to look for work to take care of their families.  But what can my family really do to help the poor and oppressed, to remember the persecuted church suffering when my own government mostly ignores it?

And how in the world can I raise kids who are grateful for what they have when they don’t even realize the freedom they enjoy?

It’s a question we have to ask ourselves in our entitled culture.

Because while Christians are losing their heads in Libya, it’s too easy to turn off the news and pretend the most important thing on our list is shopping for summer clothes or deciding which Vacation Bible School to attend.

This week, Glen Beck (like him or not), said this and I agree, “So often we cry out for justice. We raise our hands on Sunday. We call for the enemy to be crushed, but then we retreat into our humble abodes, castles by global standards, and go about our daily lives. And we get busy, honestly busy, wrapped up in our own day and our own chaos, honestly busy, and we forget that the second part of justice is mercy and compassion. That’s our job, to show mercy, to have compassion, to kindle it in our heart and the hearts of others…. [Why do we do nothing?] We feel helpless and we don’t know what to do, so we do nothing.”

9 Ways Families Can Impact The World Right Where They Are

Some believers are called to go. Some are called to stay. But we are all called to do something. Nothing is not an option for my family or yours.  And there are many things we can do with our families to actively become a part of this story God is writing in our tumultuous world.

1. We Can Pray For The World :: Prayer is generally first on our list, but last on our lips. When we get up in the morning or lay down at night, when we eat or worship, walk or workout, prayer is the most powerful thing we can do. For years, off and on, this book has educated our family on how to pray for the world.

2. We Can Hang a World Map :: It may sound simplistic, but when my son was a baby, we wallpapered his room with an enormous world map. What started out as decor, turned into a resource. For years, we congregated in his room and searched the life-size map for countries we learned or talked about. And before I traveled across the ocean the first time in 2010, we all put our fingers on the word Kenya and prayed together. I have a globe collection and maps hang all over my house now. Hang a map in a high traffic spot in your house and refer to it. Pick a country and pray for it. You never know where it will lead you (without even leaving your home).

3. We Can Host a Global Party In Our Home :: One of the reasons I love Fair Trade Friday so much is because it is empowering and employing around 1000 women in 16 countries–all in the name of Jesus through on-the-ground faith-based non-profits. And now, Mercy House is expanding our home party line and taking applications to host a free global Fair Trade Friday party in your home, so you can see and touch and buy products made by women all around the world. I hugged and loved on women in two of those countries this week and with tears in their eyes, they thanked me for a job that is providing food and rent. This is a beautiful way to see the world and change it. Learn more about hosting a party today.

4. We Can Talk About World Events :: Our first inclination is to protect our kids from the bad in the world, but this doesn’t always mean we should shield them from current world events, especially if they are old enough to read, overhear the news or attend school. Silence can breed fear and ignorance. Educating them is different than scaring them. When we prayed for Ethiopia last night at dinner, we talked about recent events and cleared up misconceptions. I’d rather my kids hear the truth from me than be afraid of what they overhear from someone else.

5. We Can Eat a Meal to Remember :: Whether it’s rice or beans on Mondays, a visit to a global food market in your town or an attempt at a new recipe for something you can’t pronounce, we can remember the world (and experience it), through food. Last week, my daughter and I sat in homes of women and ate our fill of injera and shiro. Yesterday, we attempted our first coffee ceremony and just the smell of the coffee I brought home, took me back to the small home where I was served with great love. I dare you to expose your kids to the world through their dinner plate.

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6. We Can Complete a Family Service Project :: Last year, Mercy House mailed out 20,000 prayer bracelets as a reminder to pray for the most oppressed people group in the world: women. Your family can do something to support them! Order a kit for $10 today and share the bracelets with your family and friends. 100% of the proceeds go to help us reach women all around the globe.

7. We Can Redeem Consumerism :: Shopping is as much a part of our culture as tea is a part of Kenya. A couple of years ago, I would cringe when people referred to our consumerism.  Just look at the empty Lilly Pulitzer racks at Target. I can’t stop people from buying. I won’t even try. Instead, I want to challenge people to buy something that changes a life. Give a gift twice. Support a woman with a purchase. Teach your children that cheap things aren’t always free.

8. We Can Practice Compassion and Mercy :: When our family prayed for Ethiopian Christians this week, my husband reminded us we should also pray for the Islamic persecutors. We are tempted to ignore or be prejudiced against what we don’t understand. But we can show compassion and mercy to everyone. Especially those who are different than we are. Is there a better way for our family to shine Jesus than this? Child sponsorship is a beautiful place to start.

9. We Can’t Pretend For Another Minute That Our Freedom is Free :: Without a doubt, I believe perspective is the greatest gift we can give our children. If their only view is an entitled world where they get everything they want, we will most likely end up with entitled children. But if we are going to compare ourselves to those around us who have what we want, we also have to balance our view by comparing ourselves to those with less than us. This shift is eye-opening for our families. It’s where gratitude is born.

Do we really care? Can we really do something?

The answer is yes.

The First Yes Is The Deepest

More than eight years ago we sponsored our first child through Compassion International.

We picked Bereket, a 5 year old boy in Ethiopia.

We chose him because we had a new niece from the country and because our son wanted a brother.

It was a big decision for our little family. And it turned out to be the best one.

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We spent most of our time inwardly-focused, trying to create a great childhood for our kids, a happy home and we chased the American Dream like it was our job.  So, sponsoring Bereket, sending money every month for his care and school fees, cracked open the door to compassion for others that would soon overwhelm us.

In so many ways, this was our first yes.

It led to my blogging trip in 2010 with Compassion that led to sponsoring more kids that led to meeting Maureen which led to starting Mercy House.

Yesterday, my daughter and I walked the jagged, dirty path that led to Bereket’s mud-walled home. He’s nearly 13 now, just like my son. I knew when we made our travel plans to visit some Fair Trade Friday partners is bordering Ethiopia, we would have to meet him.

His mother ran to meet us and threw her arms around my neck. Her family stood close by taking it in.

“I knew you would come some day. God told me,” Two minutes in and I was already speechless.

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We sat in their tidy home and the proudly pulled out every letter and picture we’ve sent for the past 8 years. They showed us what they’d bought with the annual family gifts we sent. Bereket’s mother never stopped smiling and his dad listened intently. As I looked at this beautiful family, I felt like I was home. Only God.

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Bereket had many questions about my son while we enjoyed the traditional coffee ceremony. The boys have shared letters for years now. They are the same age, they both love math, football and want to be engineers when they grow up. We gave him a new soccer ball and Legos. Bereket’s family has lived in their home for 15 years and the joy of knowing Jesus was palpable. I have never seen a more affection or tender looks passed between a mother and father and their children.

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(Right after I took this photo of my sponsored child’s mother, I realized I was standing in a mound of black ants. I jumped away and shook my shoes off. But about 3 minutes later, I could feel them under my jeans up and down my legs. I literally had ants in my pants.)

After our visit in their home, my daughter and I took them to their first restaurant. It was such a treat.

The family ordered traditional Ethiopian food (raw oxen and injera). Well, everyone except Bereket. He ordered this:

IMG_9138He really might be my son’s brother.

They asked many questions about Mercy House and I showed them pictures of the beautiful girls we are trying to help. They promised to pray for us.

As we said our goodbye’s, we took turns speaking from our hearts to each other. (Yes, I cried). They asked me to bring the rest of my family back to their home and they offered the most gracious thank you I’ve ever heard.

As we drove away, my 15 year old girl burst into tears.

We will hold this day in our hearts forever.

This first yes has led to countless others. Including meeting Kalkadon, our newest sponsored child through Caring for Korah (a Fair Trade Friday partner and a ministry very close to our hearts) this week. She pointed out the chairs and double bed, pillows and blankets filling her 8×8 home that our small family gift paid had purchased.

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Sometimes we wonder if the sacrifice is needed. Or appreciated.

We question our decision and our ability.

We try to squeeze a little more money out of our budget to share with others.

And sometimes we wonder if our small yes even matters.

God told me it does.

5 Things My Daughter Is Teaching Me About Changing The World

I emailed the principal at the high school and asked him what he thought about my daughter missing a little more than a week of school to go to Africa with me.

It will be life-changing, he said.

Yeah.

I thought of all the reasons it would change her perspective, remind her what really matters and shift her awareness.

Parenting is funny.

It turns out these are the exact things she is teaching me during this journey. I’ve learned so much about my 15 year old this week and mostly, from her. She’s more compassionate than I thought, more selfless than I imagined, more genuine than I dreamed and she has challenged me to be a better me. She has been to Mercy House many times, but with 6 flights this week to not only visit Mercy House, but also Fair Trade Friday partners in other places, it’s stretched our limits.

It’s like you pour love into your kids their entire childhood and then at the right time and in the right place, they overflow it on others.

Here are 5 things my daughter is teaching me about changing the world:

1. Selfies are okay when they focus on others | I’ve never been a fan of duck lips or selfies. I’ve taught my teen to know there’s a time and place for both. But she chose the right time and the right place because she turned a selfie into something about others and these girls, her peers in so many ways, fell in love with their girlfriend from America. I watched her put them first over and over again and I learned that sometimes selfies aren’t so bad.

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Don’t take yourself too seriously | We have shared a lot this week-a bed and a mosquito net, bottles of water and the same Kleenex a time or two. We’ve traded sweatshirts and soap and a good attitude when things go wrong and a nudge in the side when we needed it. If traveling across the world with your daughter will teach you anything, it’s this: don’t to take yourself too seriously. She reminds me when I’m too proud or frowning. She’s raised her eyebrows at my sighs and impatience. She tells me to smile more and give more. I’ve watched her hold hands and hug dirty children and wipe away a tear or too. She gets it.

Remember to have fun | Sure kids need to be rescued and loved and sponsored, but they also need to have fun.  My daughter is a child-magnet. They flock around her like flies. She’s always ready for a quick game to play. I laughed so hard at the Kenyan chanting slap game the Rehema residents spontaneously played in Kenya.  I stood back and watched, but my daughter jumped right in the middle of a popular game in a different culture and nearly won the bag of Skittles up for grabs.  She’s half little girl and half woman and she’s a constant reminder for me to loosen up and have a little fun.

You’re never too old to try something new | The minute the coffee ceremony started, so did my worry. The black liquid gold filled to the rim and I knew I would need to drink what was offered. My daughter eagerly sipped and nudged me. “But I like tea,” I whispered to her. “Mo-om,” she said. I took a drink and the sweet warm coffee tasted different than I imagined. I took another drink. “I love it,” I whispered. “I told you,” she said. I’ve watched her cross cultural boundaries in fearless abandon. We’ve stepped over rotting oxen heads and legs on dirt roads (the only parts Ethiopians don’t eat), passed out live chickens, and eat a wide variety of different food (turns out lamb is a new favorite for her), but we aren’t big fans of fried termites (yes, we tried them.) I want to be this brave when I grow up.

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Nothing matters more than people | I’m a doer. I’ve always got my nose in a book trying to figure something out or answering an email. More than once my daughter has reminded me to put away my resources and tools and live in the moment. It’s a powerful lesson and she’s a good example.

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Our kids will teach us so much.

If we let them.