MercyHouse — We are THAT Family

What Really Happens When We Dream Big

9:31 pm Bykristen

At least once a week, I want to quit.

One unexpected phone call, a big question I can’t answer, one more crisis and I just want to walk away from this great big beautiful burden because I don’t think I can take another breath.

Last week, I was drowning in understanding IRS laws, accounting questions, growing pains that come with seeking direction for the future and morestuffthanIcouldhandle. I cried more than I prayed and I felt sorry for myself. I left in the middle of it all and went to the grocery store and bought a pumpkin for my front porch. How spiritual is that?

I hope you respect me more for being honest and not less for being weak.

There are no plans for the 30+ hours I spend every week for Mercy House to ever be more than volunteer work. I don’t say that as a martyr. I just don’t know how to do this any other way. And yet the work, the dream, it grows bigger and more consuming every day. And I wonder how to keep going…how to make it to tomorrow…how to glorify God in my messy heart.

I am prone to wander, God, I feel it. Selfishness, it’s always there under the surface.

And at the same time, I love this house and these girls and this God-size dream so much that I cannot imagine quitting. Ever. Not even one day. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to sometimes. God-stuff is hard work, mainly because I’m being rewritten in the process.

Do you want to know what I’m really learning in all of this? This isn’t so much about me helping others and “helping God,” it’s about Him using The Helping to change every single part of me. It’s a digging deep, gut-wrenching, are you really going to trust me, Kristen, when you don’t have it all figured out question?

So I compartmentalize. I stir dinner, I watch my son play flag football, I write grants for Mercy House, I plan a trip over Christmas for my family, I drive my daughter to flute lessons, I manage a non-profit and I write as an outlet. I try to be a good wife, mother and friend and I mainly try not to drown. My life isn’t glamorous and it is messier than you think.

And I remind myself every time I feel the urge to run away that I’m not supposed to know what to do. I’m no more qualified today than I was when I trembled in my initial yes. I just need Him more today than I did yesterday.

I look at how this dream has reshaped my family, my children, our future. It’s breathtaking. And so I keep breathing.

And even though I wake up and go to sleep scared to death, I’m beginning to understand when we pursue His big dream for our lives, we are changed in the process. It’s a painful good I wouldn’t trade for all the selfishness in the world.

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” -Albert Einstein

Filed UnderMercyHouse, My Life, say yes 32 Comments

Why We Aren’t Meant to Know the Future

10:11 pm Bykristen

It was just an innocent question. It came from someone I didn’t know. Or better, someone who didn’t know why on earth I founded a maternity home in Kenya, Africa.

Fair question.

My short answer: God kind of tricked me into it.

Kidding. Sort of.

She wanted to help me with strategic planning, big picture, longterm sustainability, non-profit management.

Y’all: I had no idea what she was talking about. And then the question:

“What is your plan to keep this going?” She motioned to the picture of sixteen people I love on the other side of the world.

I smiled and said, “This is all a miracle and none of it was my plan and I honestly don’t know.” I said the words with a confidence that spoke of the supernatural, but when it hit me like a ton of bricks in the middle of the night, I only felt the natural.

How will I keep this going? How did a small yes turn into $150,000 + a year and dozens of lives looking to me for direction?

I got out of bed and started crunching numbers, looking through notes of a new project and future development, and everything ended with a big question mark.

I tossed and turned myself back to sleep and woke up hung over with the heavy burden that comes from trying to see into the future and not being able to.

Then I opened my Jesus Calling devotion to these words, “I did not design the human mind to figure out the future. That is beyond your capability. I crafted your mind for continual communication with Me. Bring Me all your needs, your hopes and fears. Commit everything to My care. Turn from the path of planning to the path of Peace. “

Humble yourself under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7

And I felt Jesus calling me (again) to give it to Him. We aren’t meant to know the future. We are meant to live in such close communion with Him that He makes the future known, one step at a time.

I love these words by Corrie Ten Boon–

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”

I don’t know. I’m saying it out loud and would wear it on a t-shirt if I could.

When this updated picture landed in my inbox this week, I took a deep breath. I couldn’t help but grin at those beautiful sassy faces. I touched each one, leaving smudges on my screen. I couldn’t stop the tears as I prayed over each girl and her baby.

I still don’t know how I’m going to keep it all going. But that’s usually the best place for God to show up.

Are you facing the unknown in life? Technically, we all are, we just have the illusion of control. Let’s say it together. I don’t know. Group Hug.

But it’s okay, we’re not supposed to.

He’s given us a hope and a future.

Filed UnderMercyHouse, say yes 22 Comments

One

10:37 pm Bykristen

“I still struggle with stuff,” I said to the young married girl standing in my living room the other day.

“You mean like having, buying, getting stuff? Even after Africa, after all you’ve seen? This makes me feel better,” she confessed.

Why are we afraid to admit we struggle? While my struggle has changed in the last two and a half years, it’s still there, resurfacing nearly every time I see a throw pillow that would look amazing on my bed.

Last week, I bought a new one. I hope you’re not disappointed in me.

Here’s the honest deal: When I returned from my first trip to Kenya, I was wrecked. My husband and kids had little wrapped gifts for me. I refused to open them and asked that they be returned. For months, I cleared and cleaned out, I struggled, I labored with responding to what I’d experienced. We sponsored six more Compassion kids, I didn’t go to my favorite store once in all those months. I decided we would only wear second-hand clothes, I only bought fair-trade gifts, I set up this prison of self-sacrifice that made my entire family miserable.

And then finally, I discovered all the pain was leading to an unplanned and unexpected birth, it was hard labor and it produced Mercy House.

One day a wise friend said to me (after hearing of my ridiculous search for second hand black pants my daughter needed for a concert), “what is your one thing?”

“What do you mean?” I asked cautiously.

“What is your passion? If you could pick one thing God has called you to. What would it be? One.”

I answered, “Encouraging mothers. Here and around the world.”

Then the words that brought freedom, “Kristen, you’re wasting a lot of time and energy trying to do it all. Your giving a lot, sacrificing with your time for Mercy House. Don’t let guilt rule you. Buy what you need and occasionally something you want. You’re all tangled up in sacrifice turned to good works.”

Maybe your one thing is fair trade clothes or healthy living and organic food, maybe it’s the local homeless shelter, orphan care or adoption. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be aware and generous in other areas. This is a given. I just think we shouldn’t try to do it all because we are motivated by guilt.

Take adoption for example. We are not all called to bring orphans in our home, but caring for the orphan (and the windows) is a Biblical mandate for believers. It’s not optional. Your one thing might not be adoption, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give to the couple in your church raising money to bring a baby home, host a fundraiser, become certified to offer respite care for foster families.

Finding and pursuing your one passion, changes your life and ignites a Godly desire to support others in their divine pursuits.

My dear friend Suzanne (who is my right hand volunteer for Mercy House) recently brought Reese home from China. This beautiful abandoned child with a cleft palate was just two years old when she came home, she couldn’t walk, talk or eat normally.

In just six months, she’s walking, talking, potty-trained, enjoys food, is in love with her three big brothers, bonded to her mommy and daddy and recovered from two surgeries.

When this baby girl walked thru my door the other day and hugged my leg, I thought my heart would explode.

You know what’s amazing about being a part of someone’s struggle?

You get to be a part of their victory too.

Because when you pursue your one passion, it’s so beautiful, others will want to be a part of it. So, I’m going to keep on struggling.

“If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” -Frederick Douglass

This weekend, I’m at Together for Adoption in Atlanta, Georgia, representing my one, Mercy House, but I’m also hoping to engage and encourage in someone else’s struggle and eventual victory.

What is your One?

Filed UnderAdoption, MercyHouse, My Life 24 Comments

Mercy Shop Grand Re-Opening Sale {Giveaway}

9:59 pm Bykristen

UPDATE: The following comments have been randomly selected as winners of this giveaway: 30, 57, 78, 89, and 95. Congratulations Lisa, Melody, Deb, Andrea P. and Hannah – an email has been sent your way.

16 miracles.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about the heavy responsibility of helping to provide for these beautiful young moms of Mercy House. It’s an honor. It’s also scary. When I was in Kenya this summer, the girls came to me, one-by-one, asking, “When I leave here, how will I provide for my baby?” I didn’t have all the answers, but I promised we would do everything we could to help.

While Maureen and I work diligently on a tailored long-term plan for each of our girls, they work hard on their studies, take care of their babies, and learn skills. Each girl can cook, clean, sew, make jewelry and a host of other items. They will soon be choosing either a higher education academic or vocational tract to help them develop interests and talents.

Our girls spend a couple of hours a day making beautiful items we export to America and sell at The Mercy Shop.

Today we are celebrating reopening our Shop by introducing new items! We are having a big sale and putting some of last year’s items on clearance. This is a tangible way to bring a bit of Africa to your home and life and also help provide for our young families. It’s a great because when you purchase an item to give or keep, you bless twice.

Check out some of our new items:

Beautiful bangle bracelets made from recycled magazines and wood. $12 each:

Beautiful and unique Love Mercy Sari Bags (in partnership with Freeset): $22 each (4 designs)

Our super cool Heart& Wings new women’s fit, v-neck comfy tee, $20:

“Mercy Made This Happen” Unisex shirt (made by Freeset): $20

Handcrafted Greeting Cards (sets of 3) $10:

Plus, many more items on sale and clearance!

100% of the proceeds from the Mercy Shop are returned to Kenya. We put the money towards paying the (high) monthly rent on our property and house, as well as set aside a portion of every sale in an account for each of our girl’s future.

Today, FIVE lucky readers will win their choice of t-shirt and Sari bag.

To be entered, please share this post on Facebook, tweet it on Twitter, Pin or email it to a friend. We are trying to get the word out about Mercy Shop reopening! Leave a comment with how you shared it to be entered.

Plus, for a short period, use this code: REGRAND to get 20% off your order!

This giveaway ends on Friday.

photos by my friend of Suzanne Box Photography

Filed UnderGiveaways, MercyHouse 156 Comments

Why We Have to Try {Free Printable}

10:23 pm Bykristen

If you ever wonder if the impossible is possible, this story is for you.

If you ever wonder if your yes matters and how powerful your no might be, lean in.

If you ever wonder if God still cares for the sparrow and works miracles, keep reading.

It’s been exactly five months since Mercy House found Edith with her 3 day old starving baby, whom she was feeding water from a rag. She named her Hawi (God’s favor in Swahili). We had a house full of girls, were short-staffed and overwhelmed, but we couldn’t say no.

We had an empty bed, support from donors and we had to try.

Maureen, Executive Director of Mercy House, saved their lives that day with her quick response.

This remarkable miracle story is still being talked about at the hospital where she and her baby spent several weeks.

These pictures were taken the day we brought them home to Mercy House:

Maureen realized just how sick this tiny 3 pound premature newborn was after she snapped this picture and rushed them to the hospital.

And yesterday, exactly 5 months later, when this picture hit my inbox, I burst into tears.

Our God is so big.

They are thriving. Edith wants to be a doctor one day. Baby Hawi is healthy and happy and meeting milestones, despite her prematurity.

Two years ago when Maureen and I set out on this wild and scary journey, we had no idea what we were doing. There were no promises of success.

But God didn’t ask us to be successful. He just asked us to try.

And when people see this beautiful picture, they will look past our inadequacies and see WHAT GOD HAS DONE.

And when our fear and doubt surface and the brokenness of our girls overwhelms us, we will remember:

We just have to try. He will do the rest.

And that big frightening mountain looming in front of you? He isn’t asking you to conquer it. He’s just asking you to take that first step.
Why We Have to Try :: FREE 8×10 Printable