Her boys were just little guys and my first baby unborn when we made our Mother Covenant. At the time, my belly was swollen and there were blocks and toys scattered on the grandparents living room floor.

But it’s a day I’ll never forget: it’s the day my sister-in-law and I vowed to raise each other’s kids if anything ever happened to either of us.

It’s the necessary kind of stuff no one likes to talk about. It’s the hard part of living and most of our words and promises never happen. But we make our plans to try and control the uncontrollable. It’s all an illusion, this grasp on life and the future, but it makes us feel better about the unknown.

Years passed. More babies were born under our roof and her little boys grew. With each year, my sister-in-law and friend fought Diabetes. And even though she grew sicker, she never gave up. She never stopped singing. She never stopped laughing. She never stopped loving. She wanted to live. She wanted to raise her boys and love her husband.

But instead she passed away suddenly 5 months ago last week. The same week her sons, now 15 and 19 years old, with their big 6’5 bodies hanging off twin mattresses, slept under my roof.

I can see the toll five long months have had on these nephews. They are hungry for a mother’s love and all I can think about is the promise I made to their momma so many years ago. These boys aren’t mine; they were here for just a week and returned to their loving dad and home. I wanted them to hear the things their Mom would say to them.

But she couldn’t, so I did. For the week, they were mine.

Like most moms, I get tired of saying the same things over and over to my kids. I just want them to listen! I grow weary of the monotony of motherhood some days. But when I say the things moms do– to boys who long to hear instruction and encouragement, love and discipline from their mother–it makes every mother word sacred:

• Stop picking on your brother
• Put on more sunscreen
• Can you carry that box for me?
• How did you get so tall?
• Here, have another serving. Eat more.
• I love you
• [no words, only a quiet hug]
• Bring me the aloe vera and I’ll put it on your sunburn
• Come get your shoes
• Next time, use more sunscreen
• Yes, you can have more food
• Do you have enough money?
• Leave your brother alone
• Do you have dirty laundry?
• Did you just toot?
• Stop taking selfies on my cell phone
• Yes, I’ll read what you wrote
• I love you
• Don’t crush your cousin in the “sandwich hug”

I treated them just like my own. Instead of resisting my mothering, they were like sponges. It broke my heart and made my day. I know their momma was smiling, whole and healed from Heaven. But she is missed everyday and left a gaping whole, mother-size.

Before we took the boys to the airport, my husband and I held hands with our nephews in the kitchen and took turns praying over them and asking God to heal the broken places. We all dreamed and talked about more time together, even though a thousand miles separate us.

And then we let them go.

It was a simple reminder of how precious life is. We aren’t promised tomorrow. We must make today count.

Because it does. Count.

Motherhood is not about being a good mother or how we handle the hard moments; it’s about being what no one else can be: your child’s mother. [<---------Click to tweet]

We must look for the joy in the little things we say and do.

Because Mom? They are a big deal to our kids. 

This summer we are trying something new in our house. I have been collecting things for our Summer Box (which is really a big laundry basket). The ideas and items are SCREEN FREE, creativity builders and my kids can choose one item on slow days.

Several summers-ago, we set a guideline for summer reading. Your screen time (TV, movies, video games, etc) is based on your reading time. Read an hour, get an hour of screen time. It’s turned my kids into book lovers!

Here are some of the ideas in our box.

• Word search books or make your own (printable)
• Wash the car or dog or windows (also known as chores turned into water day)
• This Recipe on a card
• Play Teacher (red pen and this free printable) My girls love doing this.
• New pencils and copy paper (make paper airplanes)
• Sidewalk chalk (draw a target on the driveway to have water balloon target practice)
• Water guns (use for a water pistol range) or just to cool off
• Crayons with a coloring book
• Silly string for an epic backyard battle
• A new fiction book
• Seeds (grow something)
• Summer Bridge Activities
• Construction paper (ideas)
• Slip n slide (buy one or make one)
• Water balloons
• This 3D Scripture puzzle
• Deck of cards for card house
• Envelopes for compassion letters
• This ebook
• Origami paper or use money (cute Father’s Day ideas)
• Cardboard (turn your stairs into a slide)
• Age appropriate Jigsaw puzzle
• Bug jar
• Make Bubbles
• Board Game (ideas)
• Note: Movie day pass
• Old sheets/clothes pins in ziplock-Build a fort
• More cardboard to make an obstacle course or angry bird boxes to knock down
• Paper lunch sacks to make kites
• Balloons
• Tinfoil to make animals
• Frisbee
• Picnic basket (Redeemed Picnic Basket)
• Note: Geocaching (we love this app)
• Watercolors
• Missing odd socks (for puppets)
• Small rubber bands to make these popular bracelets (how to video)
• Melt old broken crayons
• Note: Tea bags, make sun tea
• Pom poms and Pipe cleaners (ideas)
• $1 Job list
• Tennis balls (games)
• Blocks (we have this Magnetic Tryron set)
• Rubber ball for dodge ball
• Jump on the trampoline with ice cubes
• Squirt bottle for water fight
• Shoe box (ideas)
• Washi tape (create a road/track for Hot Wheels)
• Sharpies and waxed paper stained glass art
• This book is in our box: Unplugged Play: No Batteries. No Plugs. Pure Fun.

It’s the first Monday of summer.

There’s a lot of joy up in the house this morning. And by that I mean my kids are still sleeping. We are all fine with that,

I am a mother slash referee slash encourager slash cook slash comforter slash resident laundry queen slash chief finder of all things lost. So in other words, what’s a summer break?

I love this time with my kiddos. It’s slow and I’m not yelling HURRY UP a hundred times every morning or making another peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Instead I’ve tossed out the kid’s alarms and I’m gonna let them make their own lunch.  I control the tendency to constantly be plugged in (watching TV, playing on the computer and video games) with a little program I like to call “For every hour you read, you earn an hour of screen time.” I own summer.

But not really because I have to make myself relax and enjoy my children. Being the “fun mom” doesn’t come naturally to me and on more than one occasion my kids have reminded me that my OCD is showing. Ahem. It’s also challenging working from home (Mercy House and book writing) without always being on the computer. [My plan: wake up before them and go to bed after them-thank you, room darkening curtains.]

Moms don’t get breaks. But sometimes we need a breakthrough.

What Every Mom Needs to Hear (on the first day of summer):

You are doing a good job

There’s no manual in motherhood, no report cards or progress reports. It’s a lot of winging it, praying and breath holding. Our day-in-and-day-out monotony is a lot like a giant art project–up close it’s messy and out of proportion, and we wonder what our grade is at the end of a long day. But when we step back, we can see the big picture. And what we see is a work of art. And that’s enough. You might have hands covered in paint, but I want you to know you are doing a good job.

Your value isn’t based on the way your home looks

Don’t let that enormous basket of laundry in the middle of the floor judge you. Your sticky counters and the toys scattered on the floor are proof that you are alive. Your house isn’t a museum, it’s a place to live. Your worth isn’t measured in square footage or a white glove; it’s love. Don’t look at the dust, look at the aftermath of your life at the end of each day and count your blessings.

This will get easier (and then harder) and then easier:

Just when you think your teen couldn’t push you further, he does. Just when you think she couldn’t sleep less in that crib, she does. Dear Mom, it will get easier. This hard pressed phase will end; it will bring another. Sometimes with room to breathe and sometimes it takes your breath away. But with every passing day, the ebb and flow of parenting, you both are growing.

When you clean up that mess (again), you are serving God:

I found a trail of orange Cheeto fingerprints yesterday. I bent down low to wipe and I remembered, whatever I do unto the least of these, I do unto Him. Wiping up spills, pairing stray socks-scrubbing grass stains–it doesn’t feel like service. It feels like work-the kind that is endless. Your hard work-the day in and out duty-it’s service to God. Don’t you ever forget it.

It’s okay to be okay:

I’ve had good days in mothering (no vomit and a finding forgotten chocolate) and bad days (projectile vomit and out of chocolate). But at the end of the week, the ups and downs equal the grand total of average. And that is okay. Just because we can’t see hair or grass grow, doesn’t mean it isn’t. Our children can flourish in our imperfection.

Tomorrow is a new day:

At the end of the day, you crawl exhausted into bed and think: Today didn’t go as planned. You yelled too much, the kids argued about everything, the macaroni boiled over, and you served macaroni again. It’s okay, Mom. Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start to hug twice as long and find new mercies.

You are loved:

Your kids might not be old enough or kind enough to tell you how much they love you, so I will. They love the way you get the bandaid just right on the boo boo. They love that there’s always clean clothes in the drawer. It’s like magic. They love when you cut up their fruit bite-sized and wait in carline every day.  And they love when you say no, because deep down, they know it’s said to protect them in some way. They love you in case you wondered.