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For When The Mother In You Is Desperate

February 18, 2013 by Kristen

UPDATE: Comment numbers 67, 492, 461, 151, and 264 are the randomly selected winners of this giveaway.

“I’ve had enough. I’ve had just about ENOUGH of the arguing and fighting!” I yelled.

My kids stopped the squabbling mid-argument. I took a deep breath. Finally.

And then my daughter whispered one word under her breath, an insult directed at her brother.

A dam broke. I said things I shouldn’t have. I was angry. I left my children standing in the kitchen.

And I closed my bedroom door.

I headed straight for the bathroom and locked it.

That’s when I felt it, desperation clawing it’s way into my heart. I couldn’t breathe.

I’ve been here before. Last week and the one before.

SBP_9828

I feel inept as a mother a lot of the time. I try. I try really hard and I connect with my kids, we laugh and talk and I get it right some days. But it’s the days in-between, I wonder if I’m undoing the good I’ve done.

Motherhood turns you inside out. Sometimes you feel overwhelmed by how tired you feel; the days go on and on, and you want to be a “good” mom, but you feel like a failure so much of the time. -Desperate

We don’t have a manual or how-to instructions that come with our children. It’s trial and error. It’s good and bad. It’s hard and easy. It’s heartbreaking and breathtaking.

I take a deep breath and lay my anger, failure and desperation at His feet. In that dark bathroom, I receive grace. Grace to breathe, to mother when I don’t know how.

Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson’s book is like oxygen to a mother’s body. It’s simple, yet often-forgotton permission to accept grace in motherhood. They challenge mommas to lean on God and others who are further down the road during the joyful and challenging days of raising little humans.

If you’ve ever felt desperate as a mom, this book is for you.

Today, I’m giving away FIVE copies of Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe.

We often don’t talk about the desperate moments because we’re ashamed. There is power in sharing them–it frees us and offers encouragement to others.

Please leave a comment if you’ve ever been a desperate momma (as your entry).

504 Comments Filed Under: Giveaways, Parenting

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. steph says

    February 20, 2013 at 4:21 am

    This definitely speaks to my heart, thank you for sharing. I would love to read this book!

    Reply
  2. Christy says

    February 20, 2013 at 5:15 am

    I really needed to know that I am not alone in this. Thank you!

    Reply
  3. Tracie says

    February 20, 2013 at 6:50 am

    Oh this would be wonderful right now!!!!
    I am enjoying your blog.

    Reply
  4. Jen Russell says

    February 20, 2013 at 7:10 am

    Breathe….it helps really. As a mom of four boys now 14, 17, 19, and 22 I can tell you grace is huge! The best thing? When we invest in our kids and an authentic relationship with them, grace naturally happens. I have a mentor friend who always encouraged me to build that relationship with my boys. Pick two or three big things…you know, things I will never compromise on. I chose lying and respect, then offer grace for the others. Relationship, relationship, relationship! I have a wonderful relationship with all my boys. Each so different and yet very much the same. GRACE got us all thru thus far….it will continue as we all grow…it also helps block from their memory (and mine) of my crazy momma days of which we all have some! (Ha ha ha!)

    Reply
  5. Carey says

    February 20, 2013 at 7:28 am

    I’ve heard from more than one person how much I need this book 🙂

    Reply
  6. melissa says

    February 20, 2013 at 7:30 am

    With two little ones, I am desparate to learn more! The energy from them flows all day long, and I reach my limit, especially in the cold and dreary winter months!

    Reply
  7. Amanda Barlow says

    February 20, 2013 at 7:32 am

    Wow! This really spoke to me. I felt like I was who you were talking to. Thank you for your honest posts and helping me know I am not alone in this journey of motherhood.

    Reply
  8. Bonnie says

    February 20, 2013 at 7:36 am

    Oh boy, did I need to hear this today! I am greatly struggling with my oldest. I have two boys, 4 and 2, and my 4 year old is branching out in an attitude that is very frustrating! We are very much alike so I understand his quirks but the crankiness and talking back are now rubbing off on little brother. Many days, I feel overwhelmed, overloaded and truly desperate for grace, release, relief… something other than frustration by 7pm (or earlier, depending on the day). I would love to read this book- ALL moms should have the chance to win this book!

    Reply
  9. Anissa says

    February 20, 2013 at 7:56 am

    Being a SAHM of preschoolers is rather isolating especially in winter. There are many desperate moments and to know that I’m not the only one, is relieving.

    Reply
  10. April Claggett says

    February 20, 2013 at 8:01 am

    I’ve struggled with motherhood and homemaking very much. I’d love a new attitude.

    Reply
  11. Carrie says

    February 20, 2013 at 8:30 am

    My kiddos are young…toddlers to preschool, but as their personalities emerge I am thrown to my knees with pleas of, “how do I do this? how do I raise each one best according to their bent keeping in mind that fair is not always equal….” My mom went to heaven three years ago, so I can’t do what’s natural and just call her. Would love to have another’s insight! Thanks for offering the book.

    Reply
  12. Christine says

    February 20, 2013 at 8:39 am

    I’m a first-time mama-to-be, and I can only imagine how I’m going to feel sometimes in the not so distant future. Maybe reading this book beforehand will help ease some of the struggles.

    Reply
  13. sarah says

    February 20, 2013 at 9:24 am

    I am desperate daily!! – Just yesterday I had my kids pray for me – they are 7,6 and 4 – James 1:19 is what I am asking them to pray for me – Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to be angry.

    Reply
  14. Michelle says

    February 20, 2013 at 9:46 am

    Oh yes! I’ve been desperate… I homeschool 3 kids and some days, I wonder if they’ll ever learn any lesson. I need God’s grace desperately in this homeschooling life of mine. Thanks for the giveaway.

    Reply
  15. Alexia says

    February 20, 2013 at 10:02 am

    Ugh I’ve been feeling like that a lot lately. So many stresses.

    Reply
  16. Ann McCarville says

    February 20, 2013 at 10:18 am

    I LITERALLY felt the exact same way you described, just yesterday. Like, I could’ve been writing those words myself (only much less creatively). Thank you for being the kind of mom who shares her desperate moments, so I’m not quite so hard on myself. I totally need that book!! Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  17. Angie says

    February 20, 2013 at 10:25 am

    I feel this all the time. I lost it yesterday for the same reason. It’s always that last comments that ends up being the straw. I lose my sites on the eternal goal and end up succumbing to the moment. I’d love to read the book!

    Reply
  18. amanda says

    February 20, 2013 at 10:40 am

    I feel desperate alot with a one yr old and four yr old that are very active and into everything. I felt desperate the other day when my daughter was in the corner for the 4th time and i went to the bathroom for like 10 seconds and came back to my 1 yr old son eating carrot cake out of our trash can!!!!!!! he put up a good fight to keep what he had in his hands too as he shoved it in his mouth and i tried to get it away from him and get him and the mess cleaned up while my daughter asked can i commmmmeee outtt of the corrrrrner yet??? Lol funny now but wasn’t then

    Reply
  19. Jammie says

    February 20, 2013 at 10:49 am

    Oh yes, I know the feeling well…desperate, tired, worn. One morning last week, in our rush to get out of the house on time, I snapped at kids. Later that afternoon, my 8 year old daughter told said to me “you weren’t being peaceful this morning.” Ouch. Good to know she’s been paying attention in Sunday School though – this month’s virtue has been Peace.

    Reply
  20. Rebecca says

    February 20, 2013 at 11:17 am

    As a homeschooling mom, it seems like everyday I have one (or more) of these moments. I have heard so much about this book! Praying I win.

    Reply
  21. Shani Pearce says

    February 20, 2013 at 11:27 am

    Oh how I needed to read these words today….being a mom is the greatest blessing, but wow it is HARD!!! Thank you for sharing your heart and reminding me that His grace is sufficient.

    Reply
  22. Tomi says

    February 20, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    Desperate for God. Everyday! Desperate for His love. Everymoment! Desperate for His grace. Like the air I breathe. Desperate is just the beginning place for all of who I am as daughter, wife, mother and friend.

    Reply
  23. Tiffany says

    February 20, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    Oh how I empathize with you! Just was in the “bathroom” giving myself a timeout last night!! I need this book as well, with four little ones, I strive each day to model a Grace dependent relationship, but most days I struggle! Thanks for you honesty, we all need to hear we are not alone!

    Reply
  24. Elizabeth says

    February 20, 2013 at 2:05 pm

    There are days when it isn’t easy being Mom … So thankful for the Father’s grace in my times of desperation… And His mercy for the other times…
    Mother of five, ages 12 to 25 =)

    Reply
  25. Monica says

    February 20, 2013 at 2:53 pm

    Desperate momma of a head strong little boy … Would LOVE some additional mercy and grace.

    Reply
  26. Heather K. says

    February 20, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    I would love to read this book. As a working mom of 2 it takes patience every day.

    Reply
  27. KR says

    February 20, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    Mom? Check. Desperate? Constantly.

    Reply
  28. Amanda says

    February 20, 2013 at 3:49 pm

    Desperate? Only on a daily basis. And usually because of squabbling or three year old nonsense. With 4 kids it is a way of life!

    Reply
  29. Katie says

    February 20, 2013 at 4:45 pm

    yes.

    Reply
  30. Miranda says

    February 20, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    I’m desperate a lot. And it won’t get easier anytime soon — baby #2 is coming in 6 weeks :).

    Reply
  31. Misti O. says

    February 20, 2013 at 7:03 pm

    This is the 2nd blog post I’ve seen on this book. We are in a trying season & I think I’m going to NEED to buy this book. Thanks so much for the honest post!

    Reply
  32. Amy T says

    February 20, 2013 at 8:16 pm

    thanks for being honest about your struggle and how hard it is to channel and recieve grace. i needed that!

    Reply
  33. Michelle says

    February 20, 2013 at 8:25 pm

    I told my husband the other day that I wasn’t cut out for motherhood (2 yr old and baby due in June) and he told me it was a little too late for that. I do feel on most days like I am failing.

    Reply
  34. Megan G. says

    February 20, 2013 at 8:42 pm

    Oh man. I have been there. Often. It is a little comforting to know that everyone else feels this way, too! I have not read Sally Clarkson’s books, but one of my good friends is her biggest fan, so I am really looking forward to reading this one.

    Reply
  35. Sarah says

    February 20, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    I am a stay at home mom of two under two and would love to read this!!

    Reply
  36. Jenny S says

    February 20, 2013 at 9:33 pm

    I feel like a failing momma way too often. Sounds like I could use this book.

    Reply
  37. Melanie says

    February 20, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    Expecting 5th sweet babe just before my oldest turns 6…had a few “desperate” moments and will likely have a few more 🙂 In this process, I’m seeking to learn the art of leaning toward God in each moment of need.

    Reply
  38. Stacy says

    February 20, 2013 at 11:30 pm

    This book is on my must buy list!

    Reply
  39. Sara R says

    February 21, 2013 at 7:32 am

    Thankfully most nights I now get at least 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Most nights someone joins us but now I don’t have to get out of bed and fully wake to calm a crying babe. I still have desperate moments of feeling a failure most every day but with sleep the desire to crash the car just to get some alone time in the hospital has subsided. I’ve also found out that I’m not the only one who’s had those thoughts and that in itself is encouraging. I love this book and I’d love the chance to share a copy with a friend.

    Reply
  40. Laura M. says

    February 21, 2013 at 8:40 am

    I have wanted to read this book since Sarah Mae first mentioned she was writing it on her blog. My husband lost his job in December and with him at home and 2 boys 2 and under I have been desperate several times. Thank you for the chance to read this book!

    Reply
  41. Teresa Henry says

    February 21, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    I started reading your blog about a month ago and it blesses my heart!
    This post preached right to my heart.
    I needed this to help me stay focused on my children…not what I think they should be “doing” but who they are as people.
    Blessings,
    Teresa

    Reply
  42. Barbara says

    February 21, 2013 at 9:22 pm

    Celebrating my oldest son’s 24th birthday today!
    Mom of 4. Grateful for God’s grace 🙂

    Reply
  43. Shannon Alexander says

    February 21, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    I find myself in the position of desperate mom quite often these days:(

    Reply
  44. Boon says

    February 22, 2013 at 11:35 am

    I sure can relate! Thanks for the reminder to breathe in God’s grace, daily, yes!

    Reply
  45. kelly says

    February 24, 2013 at 10:50 pm

    your story is my story. I would love to ready this book.

    Reply
  46. Gale says

    March 6, 2013 at 10:08 pm

    Yes, yes I have. More than I would like to say.

    Reply
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