I’d like to introduce you to my friend Arlene Pellicane. She is a speaker, author, wife and mom of three. She writes about creating a happy home in 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. Find free resources to encourage you at www.ArlenePellicane.com and Take the Quiz to find out of you are a happy wife.
Congrats to random book winners: Krista and Heidi.
Guest Post: by Arlene Pellicane
Whether you’ve had a baby three months ago or 13 years ago, it seems like that baby weight is awfully hard to shake. I get this. I had 3 babies and 3 miscarriages in my thirties.
My go-to exercise solution with young kids in the house? Buying a fitness DVD that promised to change my life and waistline.
Like a motivated mama, I faithfully clicked play. I stretched. I jumped. I lifted. Then something the instructor said really caught my attention.
You have to force your body to adapt!
She persuaded, “Don’t give up. Tell your body you will keep going. You have to force your body to adapt!”
Huffing, puffing and desperately wanting to stop, I kept forcing my body to adapt.
I realized this saying wasn’t only applicable to my workout. It was perfect for my marriage.
Marriage is about being adaptable, isn’t it? Sometimes you have to force yourself to adapt. To flex with changing circumstances. To adjust to the quirkiness you used to love about your husband.
When James and I were married 15 years ago, there were many adaptations for both of us. Even vacations required adjusting to each other. You see, James loved to camp under a different spot under the stars each night in the tent he had lugged around all day in his backpack.
I liked to stay in a lodge with a soft pillow and running water nearby at all times.
Our first camping trip as newlyweds was a clash of expectations and emotions. Usually I am a bright and cheery wife, but on the two-hour trip to the campsite to meet couples from a new church, I was quiet. Sullen. Irritable.
Right before we entered the campsite, James pulled the car over.
“Are you going to be like this all weekend? Because if you are, we can just head back home. This is supposed to be fun.”
Do you know what I said?
“You mean, I didn’t have to come?”
Through tears, I realized that I needed to change my attitude about camping so the weekend wouldn’t be ruined. I had to force myself to adapt.
I can’t say I had the time of my life sleeping in that tent, but I survived. I learned a valuable lesson early in our marriage. Happiness isn’t about where I sleep or how out-of-my-comfort zone I am. It’s a choice I make and it not only affects my life, it affects my husband’s well being too.
Just like forcing myself to work out for the sake of my health, I have to force myself sometimes to stretch and adapt to the needs of my husband. When I’m more bendable and flexible (picture a flexible straw here moms), I’m happier and more easy going.
And easier to be with.
Make a commitment to force yourself to adapt, to push yourself further than you think you can go. Be a constant learner about marriage and an enthusiastic student of your spouse. This doesn’t happen by accident. It happens intentionally, by an act of your will.
So press play. It’s grow time.
———————————
Today, Arlene is giving away 2 copies of 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife.
Leave a comment if you’d like to enter.
Being a happy wife works for me!
A great book to give wives direction to better themselves and their marriages.
The book sounds great!
I am really trying hard to work on being more flexible. I find it is easier said than done. I would love to read this book!
What a great analogy! Thank you for sharing your advice, it was refreshing to hear. It is very challenging in a marriage, especially once you add in those wonderful children! I would love to win a copy of your book!
My “happy” needs a jumpstart! Hoping this book will help. 😉
I would love a copy of this book. I definitely need to treasure my hubby more than I do and would love to learn some ways to do so.
Sounds like a good book!
I’m a Christian wife married to a non-believer. My husband was a marine and was taught to that showing love is showing weakness. It’s tough for him to show emotion. I pray every night for him. I would love to be entered and and win this book! I could use it!!
After almost 29 years, my husband & I are still learning to adapt! Good post! Enter me in the drawing?
Thanks for sharing, Arlene! I’m proud of you for choosing to change your attitude on that camping trip. I’ve failed in that many a time, but the times I chose to change my attitude and be positive, flexible, adaptable…things turned out so much better and I actually had fun (or at least I was okay:) I’ve got another opportunity to choose this this coming weekend, so this was SO timely! I believe God gives us a special blessing then, because we’ve crucified our flesh. Blessings to you!….and to you too Kristen. Been really enjoying your blog. Appreciate your stand on technology and self entitlement, and your openness about your marriage.
Thanks for sharing Arlene! Needed to hear this for this coming weekend. Got one of those choices to make—you encouraged me to adapt and be flexible.
Thanks for sharing Arlene! I needed to hear that for this coming weekend especially 🙂
This looks like a wonderful book! I’d love to win it and review it on my blog!
I need this, not just this weekend but every day!
I would love to read the book…….although I am a very happy wife! 🙂
I would love to win!
I would LOVE to read this book. I am going to ask for it in the library if I don’t win it.
I would love to learn more tips to being a happy wife! Thanks for this, Arlene. I really needed this on this very day.
Oh this looks fun!
I would love to read this…definitely needed in my life.
This is exactly what I needed in this very moment in time!! Thank you so much for the reminder and encouraging words!!
Thanks so much for this post! I would love to win this book.
Yes – intentional is a word that I hear quite often. I must intentionally refuse to give in to my nature and love my husband more than winning a fight, for example. Loving him like this deepens our relationship and, quite honestly, makes him easier to love!
I’d love to win! There is always room for improvement!
Looks like a great book! Something I need 🙂
Pretty sure I need this one…
I consider myself a very happy wife (and I think my husband agrees). However, that comment about being a constant learner and enthusiastic student — a little convicting — especially since that’s supposed to be one of my goals for 2014. 😉
Thanks for a chance. Good stuff.
This sounds like a wonderful book. Thanks for your insight.
I want to be a happier wife!
Thanks for the insight on adapting and not giving up. I would like to read this book.
Thanks for sharing and giving me a different perspective, especially going into Valentine’s Day. My hubby and I have been on different wavelengths this week and haven’t been able to reconnect, so I feel like I really needed to read this today to change my attitude and fix this so we can enjoy our time together.
Would love a chance to win! I could really use some help!
thanks,
Tess
Sounds like a great book, would love a chance to read it. Don’t we all go through those episodes. Nice to know we are not alone!
I know this is something I need. Thank you for sharing!!
Great post and great reminder that we can’t control the situation, but we can control our reaction to it…
I’m pretty sure my husband would love it if I read this book. I’d love to be a happy wife and mother. Thanks for the giveaway chance.
I would love to be on the path of 31 days to a Happier WIFE!! Thank you!
Looks like a great book!
Love to win this book. Making that choice to change your attitude can seem like a lot of work sometimes but can make a world of difference.
thank you, thank you, thank you! for sure needed this gentle nudge. 🙂
Perfect timing! It couldn’t have come at a better time for me as I was sitting here stewing about something my husband did. If I don’t win I am definately getting the book…both books 🙂 Thank you for sharing!
I would love this!
Thank for the encouraging words. I have something I need to learn to adapt to today.
I would love to win this book. It looks like a great resource!
I suppose she’s already given away the books. What a great article. Thank you both for sharing. 🙂
Thank you. What a great Valentine reminder. I need be a flexible straw in more ways than one lately. Thank you for the visual.
I would love to win this book! 🙂
Yeah, sometimes I just have to make myself adjust to something or do something. Attitude is so important.
With 5 children aged between 18, 15, 8, 6 and 4, our lives are very busy, with many needs to be met, and lots of activities too!!! A lot of the time the relationship with my husband gets ‘pushed down the list’ and we barely have time together doing ‘fun’ things like we used to before having a family. This book sounds wonderful, to make our marriage a priority and put some effort and time into it. Thanks for all your wonderful articles on your blog, I really enjoy reading them.
Yes please! I would love this book.
hi. i just found your website. It seems like you are on a great adventure with God! just like He meant for us to be! The book sounds great. Haven’t heard of it before. I love Gary Chapman’s books
Pain is weakness leaving the body
Sounds like a fantastic book and one I could really use. Who doesn’t want to be a happier wife? I know I do! Thanks for this opportunity!
I would love to win this book! Thanks for the opportunity 🙂
I know I could use a change in my marriage! My attitude is a good start. Ty!
I would love to have this book. I just had a baby (our 4th) and I really want to make sure that I don’t neglect my marriage while raising young children.
As time goes by, I realize more and more how important protecting and nurturing my marriage is to our family. It needs to be cherished and God needs to be in the details.
This book would be a welcome read–I can always use more inspiration to be a happier wife!
This is appropriate even for those of us who have husbands who are not interested in any kind of relationship with their wives. My husband feels that the act of getting married was all he needed so I have to work at staying happy when my husband has no intention of being involved in a marriage relationship or even in my life as a friend. God can give us the strength to carry on but we also have to choose to continue to love our husbands even when they don’t want it.
Thank you for a great giveaway! I would love to win!
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