Friday mornings around my house are hectic.
With one kid in the high school marching band with a football game at night, it means for a very long day. This past Friday was no different, except that my marcher overslept, my son had to be at junior high early and my youngest was still asleep. My husband and I tag teamed it and while I took my son to school in the dark, he went the opposite direction with our girls, one still in pajamas.
There was traffic and a bad hair day and drama in the car and a lot of oh-my-goodness-the-weekend-is-almost-here thoughts.
Our second grader is years behind her siblings and usually takes their schedule in stride. But not on Friday.
What started out as a small thing, quickly grew to a full blown meltdown. You know the kind. At one point, she was so angry, she started spouting off all the bad words she knew, words like dumb and stupid and shut up. And then she let out the big one she read on the wall at the taco bar we visited this summer. The one I hoped she had forgotten. I knew it was a mistake eating there when she read loudly off the wall “The best damn tacos around” as we were ordering. A good reader has its disadvantages.
We hushed her and told her that was a bad word. Our first mistake.
Because when you’re riding in your pajamas, taking your sister to high school and you’re not getting your way, those bad words are the first thing you think of. Oh, sin nature, you do start early.
She used the word completely wrong and it wasn’t funny at all-the whole morning was a disaster, and when I looked down at the shirt I was wearing, I really wanted to laugh.
Sometimes I think people think our family has it all together. Childless young married couples have told us, “We want our family to be like yours one day.” Oh, to be a fly on our wall. Sure, we run a non-profit and we said yes to God and it looks good from the outside…like we are perfect parents with perfect kids. And it couldn’t be further from the truth. We are a big fat disaster most days and that’s why it’s remarkable. Because God uses weak, messy people to change the world.
Two out of three of our kids told us we were mean parents that morning. I don’t know what’s wrong with the third one.
But after taking her consequence like a boss, my little girl hugged us hard and apologized. I chaperoned the marching band on Friday night and thought I saw pride in my high schooler’s eyes. And most of all, I was reminded that my family rocks.
Even, when it doesn’t. Especially then.
We are just [damn] normal.
And I have the t-shirt to prove it.
I’m so glad you shared this. I’ve been getting really discouraged on social media and IRL. So many moms talk about their “amazing children” and how “blessed” and “wonderful” everyone is. Our children have serious struggles and especially one in particular. It’s been a rough couple of years. Just glad to know that there are “real” people out there.
I so relate to what you said, Kelli – and just said a prayer for you and your family. We have three adopted children and my youngest little girl is really struggling, which causes a lot of chaos sometimes. But we pray, put our best foot forward and rely on God’s grace! This article made me feel better, too.
I think the thing we often forget while on social media is that it can be both! (it’s always both! lol. No person or family is perfect…)
My children are absolutely amazing, and I AM very blessed. I also struggle with severe depression, argue with my hubby sometimes (not that I try to, but it happens), have financial struggles, and deal with huge fits and disobedience sometimes from my children. And have a son with high-functioning autism.
None of that negates the fact that my kids are amazing or that I am very blessed. I think that’s part of how we get through this life–recognizing those facts, even on the worst days and in the bad circumstances.
Those parents that are posting that their children are perfect, etc aren’t telling the truth. There is no child perfect, no matter what kind of home they were raised in, how well they did in school and how they were raised. You can’t be with your child (mainly teens) 24 hours a day, so you have no idea what they are doing when they aren’t with you. We all make mistakes, because we are all sinners. We won’t be perfect until we are with our Lord Jesus at the end of our lives.
This post is hilarious! I found myself cringing…and laughing…at the same time!
Because, oh I can relate!
Thank you for a real look at a real family…and for reminding us that “God uses weak, messy people to change the world.”
Oh, I can so relate! So glad to know that the crazy doesn’t just happen at my house! 🙂
I love this! Thank you for sharing your messy day with us! So often we are discouraged because we think we are the only ones who don’t always have it together, we all need to be more transparent! 🙂
Right there with ya – except it’s usually me using the cuss words and losing my temper. I daily repeat, “His mercies are new every morning”…
I recall the day not too long ago when we were on Day 4 of my husband being out of town, and I had 3 extra kids at my house (plus my own 4 ages 10-17) – all whom I had invited and welcomed with open arms. I was frantically trying to figure out some lunch for all 7 and still get most of us to the pool at the time I had planned. Under my breath, but loud enough for ALL to hear, I said, “I look forward to a day off when I don’t have anyone else’s kids in my house.” >sigh< Def not my proudest moment, but I have to agree with you in saying my family still rocks, even when it doesn't.
I’ve been teaching primary grade school Sunday school for almost 20 years. ALL families are like that. I know this because kids can’t keep secrets (and because I live in one). :). Thank you for the post!
Haha. This post is so true! Even when we daydream about others who seem to have a perfect family, the truth is, we’re all imperfect people just trying to be a little more like Christ every day. I’ve caught myself in this same tee shirt conundrum a few times with my “My Husband Rocks” tee spouting off a list of nagging complaints. Oops.
Someone told me on facebook last night that we’re the best parents she knows. Meanwhile, my son was in the middle of a full-fledged meltdown, and we didn’t even get to have the celebration dinner I was planning because of his behavior. This parenting stuff is HARD! It’s wonderful when people are honest about how hard some days can be.
Thank you – SO needed to read this today! XOXOXO
Always appreciate posts like this from you. Thanks for making us all feel just a smidge more normal 🙂
Oh my, this post made me laugh several times. Thanks for sharing. I especially loved: “A good reader has its disadvantages.” Much to my mother’s dismay, I sometimes read what was written on the bottom of playground equipment.
I know exactly what you mean about family rocking even when it doesn’t. My family has so much dysfunction – seriously – and yet we always have each other’s back. We have come together through the hard times my middle sister has put us through and we are better off for the trials. There are a lot of us, and we tend to be loud and crazy but I do love them and wouldn’t trade them!
THANK YOU!! i too have a marching band kid…MAN are they BUSY!!!!! i SURE don’t remember it being that rush around everywhere when i was in it but man oh man why does it always happen when the other two kids have similar obligations in opposite directions????
Your posts make me laugh and cry(in good way) and I am glad that someone else out there doesn’t have it all together….its normal-ish kind of things that makes us all ok even if we dont feel that way.
Oh, how I enjoyed this post. It reminds me of the stories you used to tell when I first fell in love with your blog! Keep ’em coming!
P.S. We are THAT family, too!
Torchy’s, eh? They are delicious 😉
Love this post. Thanks for your transparency.
so FUNNY! it’s so easy to believe that other families have it more together than your own does, but this just serves to remind me that we are ALL just doing the best we can, and some days we unravel a bit more than others. it’s normal. love the authenticity!
Love this story so much!! We are SOOO “that family” right there with ya!
Kristen & everyone else that has commented on this blog today…THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I have honestly been so very discouraged lately…and I am simply a Nonnie, doing online school with our grandson whom we are raising. He is 6. We have 3 grown children…so I feel very alone at times because I think I am supposed to “have it all together”…since I have “been there, done that”….again, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you all <3 And by the way, MY FAMILY ROCKS, TOO!!!
I so relate to this post! As a marching band family, I get it! There are many days that unkind words are said, but we we apologize and show grace. Thank you for keeping it real!
I sure can relate to all of the above. When I had my daughters, I just KNEW that my girls were going to be the most well behaved, “I love Jesus with all my heart” little girls. How wrong I was. I was so stuck on myself for homeschooling and being at home with them that I never saw the “sin nature” in them come out until it was roaring out!
One day, while at the grocery store, I had my three year old in the shopping cart. In the meat department, she starts calling her sister, Ev’Yan. She said, “Ev’Yan! Ev’Yan! Then she pointed at an elderly man and said, “Look at the ugwy man!” I could’ve curled up and hid under the shopping cart. I whispered in her ear that what she said made that man sad. Of course, she said, “I sad too!” then started to cry. After getting the tears dried up, we head down another aisle and she points again at a lady and says, “Ev’Yan! Look at that….pwetty lady!” Lessons happens but they come in imperfections and not perfection!!!
Thanks for being real!
Oh, that was seriously laugh out loud funny. I almost lost it with that next to last line. You know what transparency does? It reminds people that they are not alone. Oh, I have so been there – and the kid who was old enough to know better used the profanity in exactly the right way. Thankfully, there are new mercies for us all every morning.
so glad that I’m not alone….I’m from Norfolk VA and when an talk to someone looks like everyone got the perfect child but I don’t, they make you feel like you are the worst parent around. I have a 11 years old who is trying to copy his 14 years old uncle attitude so is always an answering back, yelling at me, than I have a 3 years old and she is not a quiet girl, she is my tomboy (she cut under the chin twice already…just like daddy) and a 1 year old. The day begins with mine 11 years old try my patient because looks like that brushing teeth is a loosing of time, then my brother ( the 14 years old) start and answering back ( no punishment works with those two) when they finally are out for school, I have my three years old that doesn’t want to understand the word “no” and usually get in the corner by 9 am. Yes I can solo related with this poster.
Thanks for sharing this and being honest (I’m sure it took a lot of guts). It’s so easy to look at someone’s life and think it’s perfect (I’ve fallen into that trap more times than I’d like to admit).