It was time for my usual “I’m leaving the country and the people I love most behind and I’m scared half to death” pep talk.
Yeah, tomorrow I’m leaving for my 20th-something trip overseas and I still a chicken.
A few months ago when my husband and I were invited to Israel, my kids were the first to encourage us to go on this once-in-a lifetime trip. And at the time, it seemed sort of brilliant for me to go ahead and fly to Kenya since I would be half way there and I needed to make another trip before the end of the year.
Of course, as I pack for a 15 day trip I think I have stupid ideas.
I could tell my kids were feeling the anxiety too as we packed and so I asked them what they were most afraid of. I waited and they mustered up the courage to name their biggest fear: a plane crashing, something happening to one of us while we are apart–you know the usual terrifying what if’s that keep us up at night.
I sucked in my breath because I TOTALLY GET IT.
I, mean, a freshly printed copy of our will is filed on my desk.
We live in a world filled with death, violence, disease and terror and it scares me.
But I will not let fear dictate what I do and I will not raise my children to be afraid. We will go, we will do it, afraid.
“You might think we are being reckless. I think we are in far greater danger of being safe in our modern Christianity. We do not bow at the alter of safety. This is what it means to follow Jesus, to cling to Him in the face of danger,” David Platt.
Because I’m much more afraid of letting fear determine how I live.
While our world seems to spin out of control and our government debates and refugees run for their lives, we live scared. But we live.
I pulled my big babies close and we had an incredible conversation about the Sovereignty of God..how He is in control and we can have peace in our uncertainty.
We believe God is greater than the evil in this world.
We believe God orders our steps and has a plan.
We believe God had predetermined when we will live and die.
We believe Jesus is coming back.
So, here I am. Bags packed. Doing it afraid again. We are living scared and that’s better than living safe.