Kristen Welch

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Kristen

Something New Will Be Born in the Pain

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Nearly two years ago, I dropped shrunken dried bulbs into what I hoped would become a flower garden.

I didn’t know that bulbs have a top and a bottom. I planted them upside down and covered them with thick dirt.

I buried hope in the ground upside down.

Stay with me.

Did those large dormant seeds even stand a chance buried in the darkness ?

Here’s the incredible truth about a seed: because it was born to grow, it reaches for the light.

I don’t know how it happens, but somehow in some scientific magical way, underground upside bulbs slowly turn themselves right side up and reach for the sun.

Something hard—and beautiful — happens in the darkness.

It’s difficult to describe the last six months.

When the floor gave way on March 3, 2022, I found it challenging to stand firm. My first reaction was to cling and control.

This became a physical, spiritual and emotional free-falling. Flailing.

Mercy House was displaced. So was I.

Everything felt unstable, out of balance. Temporary.

Painful. And I don’t just mean the ministry I lead— my marriage, parenting, me. Darkness threatens everything.

I Cor 15:58 both mocked and made me: “Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”

Here’s the thing about being buried: it’s not wasted.

Keep going. Keep toiling. It’s not in vain. No matter how hard it is. Even if it’s fruitless.

Even if your standing firm looks like crawling on the floor.

Jesus redeems everything.

“Jesus’ words to his disciples are just as true for us today. We will weep and mourn. We will have sorrow. And our sorrow will turn to joy. Today, in the tension of pain that persists, we are living the reality Jesus named. Here we find the descending, rising rhythm that creates our new life. As Henri Nouwen says, “It is the way in which pain can be embraced, not out of a desire to suffer, but in the knowledge that something new will be born in the pain.” KJ Ramsey

I’m back on firm ground today— physically, mentally, spiritually— in all the ways. Oh, I still battle anxiety, fear, and doubt, but just in the regular Kristen-way.

Pain birthed a deeper dependence in me. It forced my hand open—instead of clinging for control, in my fragile state, I had no choice but to be held.

A spring, summer and fall passed and nothing erupted from the ground where I planted those bulbs in the front yard.

I thought they had given up … that the darkness had overwhelmed them… that my planting error provided them with no way out.

It turns out they just needed more time. They shouldn’t be blooming today, but they are. We don’t always grown on schedule.

Don’t give up, dear friend, Jesus is working in the darkness. He promises something new will be born in the pain.

Jesus is Praying for You Right Now

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When I was a child, I woke up in the middle of the night because I heard something in the next room. It scared me at first, the muffled words. My childhood wasn’t perfect, but my parents did their best. I got out of bed and snuck around the corner and saw my dad in his old blue robe kneeling at his favorite chair. His Bible was open: I stopped short because I heard my name. I have carried this memory with me—of my father— praying over me in the next room. These are heavy days and I have ... Read More

Faith > Fruit

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Faith > Fruit I need to talk about this here so that it’s a permanent part of my story. It will be wordy and messy— as most processing is. Faith is > greater than fruit. I told my husband last night I literally need this phrase  etched on my skin as knuckle tats. He gave me a worried look. I don’t make a habit of regretting saying yes to God in starting Mercy House Global —even on the darkest days. But when you talk about something being hard for so long and “hard” ... Read More

One Day Can Change Everything

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I listened intently to her story. In a lot of ways, it mirrored my own--the startup, the striving, the struggle, the surrender. It seemed like she was miles ahead of me in her business success and ministry scope, so her words inspired me to stay focused on the path, and maybe one day I would achieve the same. But then her story took a turn as she vulnerably shared details I couldn't have known from the outside--the debt, the disasters, the decline. Bankruptcy.  This word snapped ... Read More

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

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There are rocks in my garden. Most people take rocks out, but I put rocks in and around each of my raised beds.  They do more than serve as a pathway for my wandering feet. They hold space. The other day I was tenderly walking on the path barefoot. I stepped on a raised rock that immediately made me stop and reach for it as it was uncomfortable underfoot. I held the smooth stone in my hand and stood there, thinking about the song lyrics that had been rolling around in my head for a ... Read More

Trust the Process

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I’ve been having night terrors or nocturnal panic attacks for the past 6 weeks. I fall asleep and wake an hour or two later in confused fear. It’s like my body and mind are out of sync and sometimes it feels like I’m trying to reach the surface from the bottom of the ocean and I run out of breath before I reach the top. Other times it feels like I’m trapped or falling. These nighttime panic attacks are a real blast. When my body catches up to my brain, my eyes pop open and I fly out of bed— ... Read More

An Invitation to Grow

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2020: When the floor beneath us figuratively disappeared two years ago with the onset of the pandemic, we fought hard to continue the empowering work of Mercy House Global around the globe. 2021: When the floor, walls, and the entire structure of our Transition Maternity Home in Kenya was destroyed in a fire in January 2021, Mercy House Global lost 1/3 of our assets and we begged God to turn beauty out of ashes. 2022: When the floor literally collapsed beneath us two weeks ago in our USA ... Read More

The Day The Floor Gave Way

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Sometimes you fall down, because there is something down there that you are supposed to find. -Anonymous   When the floor beneath us figuratively and collectively disappeared two years ago, I spent most of my time just trying to stay afloat, afoot, around. I feel like I've been crawling around on the floor in the dark--hands out reaching in the unseen and unknown, feeling, not finding.  Months have turned to years, waiting, wondering, worrying, wishing for a normal that has been ... Read More