Getting Along: Marriage {Giveaway}

UPDATE:  Congratulations, Lauren Plummer (comment 73), you have been selected as the winner!

I love my husband. Always.

But every once in awhile, there are *moments* when I don’t like him.

Yikes. Can I be that honest?

I’ve always said the line between crazy wild love and a crazy wild anger are close.

Here’s the deal: you are probably a robot if you get along with everyone living in your home 100% of the time. It’s just not possible to agree on everything, every day of the year.

But it’s how you get along that’s key.

I’ll give you a for instance: my youngest was playing with my phone a few months ago and accidentally (or either she’s got a wicked sense of humor and she’s just way more techy than me) changed my husband’s ringtone to the “Alien” ring, which sounds a lot like, um, aliens are invading.

The next time I was searching for my phone in my own house (a weekly occurrence) I asked my hubby to call it. When he heard his Alien ringtone, he was slightly offended. I quickly explained and we laughed about it, but I didn’t change my ringtone. What can I say? I’m a simple girl and it had a ring to it (drumbeat).

He casually asked me to change it. I told him no, and I might have said, “Baby, your out of this world.”

(I’m on a roll).

So, a couple of days later, he changed my ringtone to a song he thought was romantic. And I guess it was a little, except HE CHANGED MY RINGTONE. This irritated me. Why? Who knows. But I changed it back.

And we continued this ridiculous back and forth for awhile.

The point? I have no idea.

Oh yes, the point is we could have made this a huge battle. I believe when marriages end for “irreconciable differences” it’s often probably about ringtones. After 17 years of marriage, we are still learning to pick our battles and  not make everything a war.

The bottom line: we are in this for the long haul and getting along takes two. It really all goes back to forgiveness for the little stuff and the big. And usually when I’m irritated or angry at my husband, it’s an issue with me.  If I step back from the situation and look at the big picture, I know my husband loves me deeply and the little battles shouldn’t become wars.

P.S. His ringtone is now a motorcycle revving up. He will be so proud.

One little way I’ve tried to get along with my hubby in the every day stuff is by thanking him for the small things he does. I married a great guy and I tend to take him for granted. So, when he fills up my van with gas or brings me a sweet tea, I’m trying to show him my gratitude more.

I saw this on Pinterest and created my own variety. It’s next to our bed. It’s fun to wake up and see a little note to each other occasionally.

You can make one too!

You just need :

  • pretty frame
  • a piece of scrapbook paper
  •  a dry erase pen (write on top of the glass and it just wipes right off!)
  • velcro (optional) I attached velcro to my pen and to the back of the frame to keep up with the marker.

I created one for a lucky reader today. Just leave a tip for how you get along and I’ll draw a random comment and send you a romantic framed message board and pen.

Comments

  1. 1

    says

    THAT is a fun idea!

    A tip for how we get along, let’s see, we laugh together, we chat in bed, we do little things for each other, we forgive when we mess up..

    We don’t always get along. We irritate each other. We plain make each other mad sometimes. And yet at the end of the day we want to be together and wouldn’t trade our disagreements for anyone else’s.

    A big amen to “I’ve always said the line between crazy wild love and a crazy wild anger are close.”

  2. 2

    says

    I am constantly reminding myself that he is the God-given leader… if there’s an issue where we disagree and can’t find common ground, it is up to me to let him make the decision. Not always easy, but what is right.

  3. 4

    Kate says

    One way I “try” to get along is by pointing out the things I respect and appreciate about my husband. Sometimes it is hard, but even finding something small seems to help.
    Such a cute project! =}

  4. 5

    Amy says

    We get along because we WANT to get along. Does that make sense? We almost lost each other because of worldly evil, and now we make a point to remember how precious our marriage is. We don’t always get along, because we are human! :). But the little things are just little things.

  5. 6

    says

    Checking the attitude. It almost always boils down to this. Dang it. But even having a tiff over . . . well, let’s just say a ringtone ;) . . . in the midst of making an early Valentine’s dinner ultimately made me realize this: when you forgive and move past the attitudes over the seemingly senseless stuff, it means you truly love each other, you’re committed for the long haul. And then you can laugh about it later.

  6. 7

    says

    Cute!

    We do lots together. Eat dinner with our kids. Play games. Hang out with friends. Talk in bed. When we’re both home we like to be together. And we like to go places together too.

  7. 8

    Abby B says

    Such a cute idea! My hubby and I have a little notebook in which we list something we love about each other every day. When I’m irritated with him, I only have to remember the things we’ve written over the years, and the Lord is so gracious to change my attitude and perspective.

  8. 9

    says

    that is a cute idea. i love the battle of the ring tones. so funny. my husband and i both work hard to serve one another and i really think that is a key… if both people are serving then both are trying to lay their lives down and be like Jesus. this is not always easy and i too find the silliest things to get annoyed over! but, i have such an amazing and helpful husband that i realize i need to point it out more to him how awesome he really is to me.

    my recent post: when you have white paper and a bit of red paint

  9. 10

    says

    We simply take care of each other. He is sick and recovering from surgery; I am here. Present through the process. And he, with all of that, *still* ordered me flowers for Valentines Day. Delivered today, in advance, while keeping watch over him—he’s thinking of me. {I hope I always remember this holiday in those seasons where such things are so easily forgotten.}

  10. 11

    TracyDDK says

    One of my friends calls us the “Thankingest families” that they know. We’re constantly saying thank you to each other. If he grabs me a drink from the kitchen while he’s making his, I tell him thank you. He thanks me for cooking supper….EVERY day that I do it. But when tensions get high and we’re stressing each other out, we just walk away. If we’re feeling persnickety, we mention it and we come back to the stressful stuff when things have calmed down.

    • 11.1

      ely says

      being respectful and grateful and expressing is very important and goes along way. thanks for sharing and reminding me of this.

  11. 12

    carla says

    Ha! I actually started writing notes on our sheets under the pillows in sharpie! I figure no one sees them except for us :-)

  12. 13

    Amy jo says

    I’ve learned two very important things in the year and a half we’ve been married. One that was hard for me to wrap my head around was that even in a good marriage you need your own space. My hubby and I are both very independent people and even though we miss each other when the other is away, you sometimes just don’t need help, don’t want to talk, and just need to relax. If we force ourselves to be together then, it often ends in a fight. The other thing is he HAS to have the remote!

    Lastly, its important to understand love is a choice! It is hard work forgiving someone and not letting things get under your skin and if you’ve “fallen in love” and haven’t chosen to love your spouse, its going to be a tough road.

    I printed out the free valentine’s printable about being forgivers and stuck it on the fridge tonight. My Husband came home, looked at it for a minute, chuckled, and said, “Ain’t that the truth.” I felt like trekking telling him to use proper english but you have to pick your battles!

  13. 14

    says

    I love this idea, so simple but gives so much. I like to send thanksgiving texts to my hubby just to say things like, thank you, you rock or how good he is looking today. It’s so nice to see the cute smile on his face as he reads them.

  14. 15

    says

    I try to be really agreeable about things that don’t matter much so that when there’s something that does matter he understands when I really stick to my guns.

    • 15.1

      ely says

      I like this too. it shows them that we are engaged big or small, good or bad. This is a very good way to keep their attention. thanks for sharing.

  15. 16

    Sarah says

    I just found your blog (because of pinterest and the forgiveness quote…yay). My husband and I talk to each other a LOT. We are big on communication and being open and honest about things. We aren’t perfect by any means, but we know each other’s emotions and feelings well enough and talk about what is important to us. We’ve only be married 6 years, and we’ve definitely hit some major bumps, but we have learned to overcome things by being sensitive to each other’s feelings and by communicating kindly to each other (hopefully that’ll rub off on our kids some day)

  16. 17

    says

    I was planning on making one of these!

    We really like each. We “talk” a lot during the day. It might just be a text or quick phone call, but it keeps us connected. It helps when hubby comes home; we know how each others day has gone. And we laugh a lot.

  17. 18

    Kimberly says

    There are a few things that I think help keep our relationship strong. One is that when one of us needs the other, the other steps up. Usually its me in need for example I am currently on bed rest and not only does my husband work all day he comes home and helps around the house and does the shopping. Second we are each others emotional support we have suffered from some great heartaches in our marriage and somehow one of us is always stronger when the other needs it and then the roles will switch. Third and this is more for me than him, I have learned to drop the little insignificant things, if it isn’t going to affect our family its not worth arguing over. Fourth, laugh, sometimes you just have to think of a funny memory you share and laugh!

    I LOVE the frame and think its a fabulous idea!

  18. 19

    Rochelle says

    We try to be objective in our disagreements, and we never call each other names. Basically, we try to treat each other the same way we want to be treated. Not always easy! Love the frame, what a great idea!

  19. 21

    says

    My husband and I get along very well. In the 18 years of marriage together, I can count with my fingers how many times we got into a fight. But when there’s something I need to talk to him about, I ask if he can make time to discuss. That way I don’t catch him at a bad time!

  20. 22

    says

    Cute idea!! It was sweet of you to make one to give away.
    We’ve been married 20 yrs & they have been 20 very full years. Ups & downs
    galore. Right now one of the things we are doing is going to bed together each night.
    It is a bit of a challenge because our oldest is 16 & she typically will want him to stay
    up with her & watch movies, which is a good thing too! But we’re trying to teach
    her by example that husband & wife time alone is important.

  21. 23

    says

    Since I get up first in the mornings, I always try to make sure the coffee is made and ready to drink by the time he wakes up. Often times I’ll bring him a cup bedside. Just a little something to ease his transition into the day. :)

  22. 24

    says

    One of the way we “get along” is by laughing at our selves. When we laugh at each other’s quirks, we’re less likely to get “steamed” by them :) In May it will be 20 years!

  23. 25

    Melissa says

    We get along by making the little things into big things. We thank eachother for doing the little things (when he takes out the trash I will always thank him and give him a hug and a kiss).
    The frame is so cute, I just love the ideas you can find on Pinterest!

  24. 26

    Nicole says

    I get along by forgetting about yesterday. Letting it go. So what if he didn’t notice the trash was full and take it out? I’ll take it out and move on. It’s a small price to pay for peace and love. :-)

  25. 27

    says

    We get along by being honest. Sometimes it stings…nobody likes to hear the truth all the time. But, we say it with kind words and honesty in our hearts. We talk until we both feel okay or comfortable and make sure we each feel loved. It is not easy to be truthful so we must stand by our partner when they tell us something that was especially hard to say. Love, forgive, and most of all be faithful to each other.

  26. 28

    Tara says

    We are going on eight years of marriage, and I have to honestly say that the more faithful we are in our relationship with Him, the more patience, love and respect we have for one another. The times that we are more focused on spending time reading the bible and more actively involved in church, the better in my opinion. Date nights are also a plus, although I wish we could have more. Love your note idea and I plan to use it even if I don’t win! Thanks for all the Valentine’s inspiration you’ve given these past couple of weeks!

  27. 29

    Cindy says

    We leave notes for each other and he does little things like makes my coffee every morning. It is the little things that make you feel loved and get along! ;)

  28. 31

    tiabennett says

    We both grew up in homes where our parents fought A LOT! Neither one of us liked it and vowed not to let our kids grow up that way. We disagree in front of them, even argue, but we always treat each other with respect. We don’t raise our voice, or call names and be sarcastic. We try to be rational adults.

    No matter what there are times that we don’t “like” each other, that’s part of life. What you do during those times is telling. For us, divorce isn’t an option. God has brought us through way too much; infidelity, sex addictions etc., to let it go now. Like Kristen, I try and step back and look at a situation from a different perspective. A lot of times, it seems silly then. I also try to remember what made me fall in love with him in the first place, and what would my life be like without him.

  29. 32

    says

    How we get along…..we have worked hard on communicating effectively with one another. During our first 2 years, we realized there was alot of ‘he said, she heard’ going on, so we made a point to learn how the ‘he brain’ and ‘she brain’ hears things. If he says something and I take offense to it, I’m learning to stop my reaction and ask him to clarify what he said.

  30. 33

    says

    You are SO right! I often have moments when I don’t “like” my husband, but I always LOVE him! My high school chorus teacher said once that every morning she CHOOSES to love her husband. Don’t know why that came up, but it really stuck with me. No matter what, I CHOOSE to love my husband. Sometimes I have to literally ask myself “would doing such and such reflect that I love my husband?”. Sometimes words come out that do not reflect htat, so I put myself in time-out until I can be loving again :)

  31. 34

    Crystal says

    Whenever we’re having a disagreement and it’s getting heated, we have a rule that we have to argue with our arms around each other. Trust me, it’s hard to be angry and keep up your end of being right while doing that!

  32. 35

    Wendy says

    We like to “outdo” each other in how horrible our day was. “I changed 7 diapers today — 3 of them stinky! I e-mailed back and forth w/ the teacher about Special Person’s Day, found Paul’s hockey helmet and sweaty jersey, PLUS I listened to Mrs. LaLa rattle on about the wonderful homemade Valentine cookies she made w/ raw sugar. Does that mean we’re poisoning our family?” “Yeah well, my commute was INSANE! There were cars in the ditch — doesn’t anyone know how to drive in snow? Wanda has the week off so instead of two people doing the work of 5, it’s just ME! I had to place some orders for parts and none of the guys answering the phones speak English (literally). Oh and I have to work late — for the rest of the week. Enjoy dinner w/ the family, except for me.”

    This makes us laugh. I work “late” too but I get to be surrounded by my family. He gets to be in the car alone w/ out kids yammering in the back seat but he has to watch out for bad drivers and slippery roads. After we gripe, we catch each other’s eye and usually get a good, warm hug in there b/c we know that when all is said and done, we’re in this together.

  33. 36

    says

    We call it zigzagging–those times you swear you are speaking two languages or something because they took what you said in completely the wrong way and were mad or hurt. We ask each other, “How can I ask you / say that next time in a way that lets you know how I really meant it?” Telling me that the floors look GREAT and thanking me for vacuuming makes me feel like I’m a slacker for not doing it more often and maintaining it better. Yes, I’m sensitive about my housekeeping. :) or lack thereof. So now he just thanks me for taking care of the house, nice and general, and I hear his heart in a language my heart can understand. He, on the other hand, needs specifics or he feels like I am being insincere.
    Being humble enough to ask what the other person NEEDS to hear makes a big difference in our relationship. :)

    • 36.1

      joanne says

      I am struggling with this right now… he doesn’t fight fair, and does make personal attacks, and I shut down. I don’t know how to move on, but I like Kathleen’s (#37′s) suggestion to ask how things can be reworded into “his” or “my” language. Will work on this. Thank you.

  34. 37

    says

    I take a breath before I speak. I have trouble being kind with my words when I am upset. I usually can combat this with a moment to breathe before I say something. I realize that what I am going to say may hurt more than I intend. This helps alleviate many of the fights that we have.

  35. 38

    AR says

    I try to make breakfast for him on days he goes to work – he leaves extra early and I love giving him a special start to the day.

  36. 39

    Anita says

    That’s a tough one for me. There is nothing specific we do to get along. We just DO it. We realize that we are in this marriage for life and it’s not worth it to fight over the small stuff. Not to say we don’t get frustrated or angry at each other, but somehow one of us always apologizes, sometimes me and sometimes him. We say thank you and I love you and we laugh A Lot! Most of the time we even laugh about what we are angry about.

  37. 40

    says

    I’ll take one of those! Our “Irreconcilable Differences” are about the trash can. He thinks I should empty it more. I think he should put a bag in it after he empties it. Oh the horrors :)

  38. 41

    says

    We have a picture frame tht we write notes on too! Our scrapbook paper is printed ith “I <3 you because……", then we can fill it in! We also have heart shaped sticky notes. Just this morning, I found them all over with little love notes on them.

  39. 42

    says

    I’m the queen of snide comebacks and he is wickedly witty. We’ve agreed to hold our remarks for as long as we can hold our breath, and then let our words out with our breath only if they are still worth saying. We’re watching our words… and building lung capacity.

  40. 43

    Leigh says

    Like someone else said, we make the choice. I’m learning to hold my tongue and treat him as I would a good friend. I don’t just blast my friends with every little thing they are doing or saying wrong. He is so respectful of me, and I’m learning to reflect that. :)

  41. 44

    stefanie says

    wow, this post couldn’t have come at a better time. My hubby and I have been so aggrivated with each other lately…it’s gotten to the point where we’re not talking much at all. I know I’m a little sensitive about stuff he says but he’s also not very sensitive about my feelings when he’s tlaking either. Sometimes I feel attacked (the other day I mentioned to him that our 2 year old son had run off towards the street when I was picking him up from daycare…he was no where near the street and I was right behind him to scoop him up and carry him back to the car but hubs said ” you need to spank him when he does that he can’t be running into the street like that!” I felt like he was reprimanding me and it made me feel like he didn’t think I was a good mom. I became defensive and we argued about it…he wasn’t there and didn’t know the situation.. even since, we’ve been so distant from each other and I think neither one of us are willing to say I’m sorry or I was wrong…) This is such a little, stupid thing to fight about but it happens often enough that this time it’s really hit us both. We need to sit down and talk it out but I’m SO anti confrontation and don’t want it to blow up into an arguement so we just don’t say anything…at all. I love my husband and I think we BOTH need to be more thoughtfull of each other’s feelings…right now I just don’t know the words to express that to him… Anyway, thanks for letting me rant! Love the blog!

  42. 45

    says

    That is adorable.

    How do we get along? I don’t really know. We have our moments, but we tend to agree a lot and even when we don’t we never yell at each other or anything. I guess we’re just good at understanding the other’s point of view or walking away and agreeing to disagree on things that are insignificant in the long run.

    I do want to start writing love notes to him though. He used to write me love letters at the beginning of our relationship and I treasure them dearly. :)

  43. 46

    says

    My husband and I just got married in August, but you are SO right…we do have agruments over the stupidest little things. If it comes to a “battle” of words, we leave each other alone and come back and ask for forgivness from each other and respectfully go over what we wanted and then we agree to work on it on both ends. I also have been trying to show him how much he means to me because I think it is SO easy to take advantage of the ones we love the most…I want him to know he makes all the difference in the world to me…so I put little cards in random spots for him to find throughout the years we have been together to tell him how much I love him or to uplift him throughout the day :) Thanks for writing such an amazing blog! :)

  44. 47

    Racquel says

    We try to take the time to hear the other person’s side of an argument…then at least you feel heard!
    And what a cute idea!

  45. 48

    says

    Oh I love it! Like you, we get along by acknowledging the little things. Just taking the time to notice that we are taking care of each other in small ways.

  46. 49

    Yulie says

    I’d love to try the message board! Hubby and I do fight all the times but, we love each other! It would be nice to start writing love/appreciation note :)

  47. 50

    says

    We get along sillily…is that a word? We are so silly…it helps us laugh!
    I didn’t think that I would ever find a perfect match that I could be this silly with, but God found him for me and I am grateful!
    K

  48. 52

    Shannon says

    I’d like to think I could make this on my own, but it would be easier to just win it. ;-)

    How do I keep the peace? I try to bring up big talks/touchy subjects at the right time, like not right after he gets home.

  49. 53

    Kathryn @Expectant Hearts says

    I try and remember it’s about MORE than tone of voice. I’ve been known to apologize for my tone when I start talking “I know I sound whiny right now and I’m trying to get that out of my voice but in the meantime, please listen to my words and not HOW I”m saying them” And I’ll come right out and say: “YOu sound grouchy. What’s going on?” and BELIEVE him when he says its’ nothing.

  50. 54

    Amy says

    How do I get along with my husband? Well, when he does something that hurts my feelings or irritates me, I usually start to sulk(get real quiet) but a few years ago I heard this advice and it’s been working great-If I’m mad at him, I start making one of his favorite meals, and while I’m making it, I think about all the things he does for me that bless me. By the time I’m done, my anger has dissipated and he is sooo blessed by my “thoughtfulness”. Usually, he doesn’t even know that he’s ticked me off in the first place. This has inproved the atmosphere in our home so much. Incidentally, the little irritations seem to happen way more during my PMS week than any other time of the month which brings me to the SAD conclusion that-Yah! it’s ME that caused the tension in the first place. I always tell my kids that they can’t control how others treat them, only how they react. A good lesson that I’m still learning:)
    Happy Valentines day, Amy Kirby
    kids.sask@sasktel.net

  51. 55

    says

    We are learning the subtleties of each others moods, which can change quickly. Not only are we learning to be (and need to be) good forgivers, we are learning to prevent unnecessary wars.

  52. 56

    Megan G. says

    Love that! I pinned that on pinterest, too, but haven’t done it yet. Hmmm.

    We get along by choosing to just let things go a lot of the time. We used to feel the need to talk (and talk and talk) out every single minute disagreement or difference of opinion…of course the big (and even medium) stuff needs to be discussed, but we’ve learned to just let the little stuff go. It works for us! :)

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

  53. 57

    Jodi says

    This is a wonderful picture frame idea! My husband and I “keep the peace” by doing little things for each other, like texting each other during the day to let each other know we’re thinking of each other and letting each other have some “me” time while the other one takes the kids on an outing. Also, we don’t call each other names when we’re having an argument about something.

  54. 58

    Mary Johnson says

    We talk a lot, he calls me on his lunch break and when he gets off work, so we can get a feel for each others days. Then we talk every night, we aim to never go to bed angry…makes for some late nights :)

  55. 59

    Missy says

    Can single mom’s play? This would be an awesome thing to do with my daughter. We pray to get along! No kidding. Can’t tell you how many times in the middle of a crisis I have stopped, and prayed to “be a good mommy” right in front of her.

    • 59.1

      says

      Ooo..great reminder Missy! Wonder how many arguments I would avoid with my husband if I stopped and prayed for a moment? ;)

      And what an awesome example you are setting for your daughter! Good job!

  56. 61

    Jennifer Cooper says

    I like this frame! Such a cute idea.
    I leave my hubby messages on the mirror with wet erase makers. I also steal the crayons for the bathtub from the kid’s bath and leave him pictures and “love notes” in the shower. He will randomly text me or sets little I love you appointments on my calendar. My favorite little love note was left on my to do list, he added, “get a kiss and an I love you”!

  57. 62

    Lindsay says

    What a cute frame and an ADORABLE idea! I was just thinking how we used to leave lil notes for one another and we don’t do it anymore. This would def help and make it more fun! My husband and I are getting better at fighting. That may seem silly but it’s a 100% that we will disagree but it’s how we go about it that really changes everything! I often would get soooo upset over the smallest thing when it didnt even have anything to do with the main subject, it was the way he said it or his actions. We are both trying to make an active step forward and not act in the heat of the moment but first take a deep breath and talk to one another as adults. It has helped us so much!

  58. 64

    Stacie says

    Such a cute idea! Gotta love Pinterest. I just found this blog today because of it and I think it will be one of my favorites! Thanks for the inspiring words.

  59. 66

    Lauren Plummer says

    Making sure that I put into words the things that make him so special to me…not just knowing myself- but verbalizing it to him. (made easier when i see so many struggling marriages and i am again grateful for the set of problems that i have- and that i don’t have anyone else’s!) Making a choice to be happy everyday and be grateful for the life i have been blessed to have, the children that i am so thankful for, and the man who chooses to spend the days with me– we do our best to make every moment count. :)

  60. 70

    says

    What a great idea! And by the way, thanks for the reminder about not fighting the little battles. We’ve only been married 3.5 years, and we’re still learning that!

  61. 72

    Chelsea says

    What a cute idea! My hubby and I like to joke around..its are simple but effective way to get along! We sit in bed and laugh at silly things the kids did that day or what happened at his work :) it’s a nice way for us to reconnect!

  62. 74

    Melissa says

    Listening to him talk about his work that I don’t really understand and getting myself to be interested in what interests him helps. When I give him time to talk, he returns the favor and listens to all kinds of details of my day. We generally enjoy spending time together, and make time to snuggle every night after the kids are in bed!

  63. 75

    says

    It is so refreshing to read your blog and listen to someone being so honest! It seems like everybody wants to convince the world they have a perfect marriage–people don’t want to admit that, although they love their spouse and wouldn’t want anyone else, they sometimes get upset over little things like ringtones. I know my marriage has had its share of “ringtone battles” in 8 years!

    I love stopping by here and reading your words, seeing your heart poured out, hearing God speak through you without listening to someone get “preachy.” thank you for letting us all see something real.

    As a “by the way” kind of thing–one of my favorite quotes about marriage is this: “The conception of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.”
    -Alan Patrick Herbert

  64. 76

    Sandi says

    I have learned we get along best when I hold my tongue. I am a “quick to speak; slow to think” person by nature, but my husband is worth the hard work to change that. I love him dearly!

  65. 77

    Sarah says

    I love the dry erase board idea! My husband and I get along by always admitting when we need to talk. It took us about 9 years to figure out that instead of inward frustration disguised as “fine” when asked didn’t help us. I have been amazed how different we can view things and when we talk about it we both have to admit we saw a situation completely opposite of each other, which is why we didn’t find the compromise. It has been helping us In a major way since we have followed through and started to dothis ach time. We also pray together as a couple daily.

  66. 78

    Tara says

    We TALK – a lot! We are both quiet people by nature and don’t open up to too many people. But with one another, we talk about everything – big and small and just share life together (the messy and the sweet).

  67. 79

    Rebecca says

    I would love to win that!!! I have basically learned that I need to shut up!!! I just keep going and going and ugh! As good as it feels coming out (seriously, it does to me), the more it causes a wall to go up and it just isn’t worth it.

  68. 80

    Julie R says

    We make sure we have a little time each day just for us. Away from kids and any other distractions. Just so we can relax and really talk.

  69. 81

    says

    I found your blog through Pinterest, now you’re giving away an adorable bit of craftiness you found on Pinterest, and I also have an “I love you because…” frame pinned on Pinterest – its a trifecta!! lol

    How do we get along? Well, we read this blog together for starters :) Seriously, reading your posts about real life with real faith has been so encouraging to us. I am very blessed to have a husband who knows me better than I know myself. He makes getting along so much easier. When we do have the inevitable disagreement, it’s usually because I am trying to control a situation (working on that) or am overly tired and emotional. SO, I guess we get along with a mixture of respect, patience, humility (yeah, not always easy) and good sleep! :D And it helps that I think he’s hilarious! He can make me laugh til I can barely breathe…a good laugh can fix just about anything…I love that man…

  70. 82

    Jo says

    Once a week we ask each other what we can do to make your week better? We always ask at a neutral time and it really seems to take care of annoyances before they even become fights/arguments!!

  71. 83

    cheryl says

    We laugh A LOT! We text each other encouragement. He makes the bed every day and I feel totally loved every night.

  72. 84

    says

    I’m learning to step back and breathe before reacting. I tend to be so reactionary and it never helps the situation – so I need to focus on my reaction before getting angry with him.

  73. 85

    Carolyn says

    That is actually pretty funny about the ringtones. We would have a tought time with that as we only have one cell phone between us.

    I met my sweet guy lateer in life and after 18 yesrs, I think we have most of the wrinkles ironed out. I have had to learn to cool down and not have the horrible urge to run the opposite direction. I had to learn how to fight as I didn’t even want to be near a confrontaition.

  74. 86

    says

    I really loved this post. I felt like I am in a normal marriage! :o) The biggest thing I have learned about getting along in our marriage, is apologizing for the big and little things when I am totally in the wrong. Our first few years of marriage were extremely difficult because I had a lot of pride and of course thought that my hubby was doing everything wrong–of course! I started apologizing, and things changed dramatically for us, oh and I started communicating a lot better too.

  75. 87

    Sarah says

    We take care of each other in times of need such as while he was recovering from major foot surgery. He keeps me calm and helps when I start to let my anxiety get the best of me. He helps out tremendously with household things….and I remember to be grateful for that to him and to express that. I love the frame/note idea!

  76. 88

    says

    sometimes we leave notes to each other on the bathroom mirror, but I like this idea SO much better! And one thing that we are learning to do to get along better is to intentionally build each other up… instead of complaining about things.

  77. 89

    Erica says

    I just found your blog and I am hooked!!! The last 2 years have been spent not getting along, but this last deployment (my hubby is a Marine) God did amazing things in both of our lives and we have gotten on track by making sure God is ALWAYS the center of our relationship. The past 3 months have been the best months of our entire marriage!! We seek council from older Christian couples when we find ourselves butting heads, but mostly we just promise to love each other, even when we don’t like each other. I look forward to keeping up with your site everyday! Thank you!!

  78. 90

    Courtney says

    We take a time out. 5-10 minutes tops where we are absolutely not allowed to talk about what we are disagreeing about… it gives us (me mostly) the time to really think about what I am upset about and if it is worth a fight. It almost never is!

  79. 92

    says

    I love this! Such a great idea! We get along by remembering to lead our heats and not follow them. We also remember that we are not each other’s enemy…not that we feel that way, but you know, sometimes it does. We try to honor one another and treasure each day that God has given us together.

  80. 98

    Heidi says

    So funny…we rarely have conflict over big issues, it’s usually things like a ringtone. Haha One thing we do is to be very honest with each other. If I’m hurt over something, I tell him. Even if I know I shouldn’t be upset over it because it’s something silly. It helps to talk it out and understand where the other person is coming from. Plus it is just too miserable to go on with something between us…life is so much better if you clear the air quickly!

    I love the notes frame! Speaking encouraging and grateful words on a regular basis definitely helps us get along!

  81. 99

    Kristi says

    On the rare occasions that we are not getting along we have found that doing something else for a while (separately) makes a world of difference. He might go watch TV or play a game for a little while. I will usually go clean something (nothing like scrubbing a toilet to get your mind off an argument). After a little bit one of us will wander in with the other one and start talking about something that we are interested in, or that we read that day, or tell a story of something funny that happened with our kids or even during our childhood. Eventually one of us will reach out and hold the other’s hand and that is a signal that all is well.

  82. 100

    MaryAnn says

    Very cute idea. We used to write long letters in one of those blank books but when the kids came along we fell out of it. I love the frame idea because it only takes a few minutes to remind each other of the appreciation and love.

  83. 102

    Jennyroo says

    I’m afraid we don’t have any great suggestions. After almost 12 years of marriage, we still struggle sometimes (okay, a lot) with communicating openly and honestly. Sometimes we can all use a dose of kindness. I do love this sweet frame idea, I would love to write a kind note to my husband. I think it would make his day!

  84. 103

    Nicole Gaylord says

    Such a cute idea! I have learned that he needs words of affirmation so I have been working really hard at biting my tongue and thanking him more. He also left on a mission trip recently so I gave him a journal with words of encouragement in it and cards to open for most of the days that he is there.

  85. 104

    Jami says

    i love you and your blog. thank you for sharing your life and love.

    when i feel myself getting angry with my husband i tell him I need a break and he let’s me walk sweat away to cool off. he on the other hand internalizes everything

  86. 105

    Beth Lewis says

    The frame note is a sweet idea!
    When I feel my irritation rise, I step away and go clean and pray. It clears my mind, centers my spirit, and don’t we always feel better when the house is cleaner? :)

  87. 106

    says

    My wife and I have a daughter with a pretty significant special need and it has definitely cause it’s fair share of arguments and turmoil in our marriage. This Christmas/New Year’s time, we were as close to divorce as we will ever get, I think. The only thing that kept us from calling it quits is the simple fact that we are absolutely not going to get divorced come hell or high water. The resolve to keep on keeping on gave us the opportunity to realize how bad things had gotten and, also, to truly remember that we are on the same team. Whatever life throws at us, we are in it together. We finally talked about how much resentment about things, the big and the small, we were harboring and made a conscious decision to be completely and brutally honest with each other about things. Not that we were lying, but we were trying to avoid all of the small fights. Meanwhile, yucky feelings were building and building. We tell each other what we need and the times that we disagree with each other now and I think it has been amazing. It has been a long time since we were on the same page like this. Having a child with an emotional disorder has been, is, and will continue to be very trying on our lives. However, if we always remember that we are in it together, that all we want to do is help one another, and if we remember to simply ask for what we need from the other and let our spouse know when something is going awry, things will always be okay and that is a great thing.

  88. 107

    Dana says

    I have those moments with my husband too and I always try to remember the bigger picture. I love him for making me who I am. We had some troubles getting pregnant and he was such a great support. Now that we have our great daughter it is so much fun to see him with her. I am so thankful to have a wonderful family and try to remember all the great times we have and the great qualities my husband posses to keep the family running.

  89. 108

    Erin says

    Love this….this is right along the lines of making your room a haven to connect with eachother. You can’t have a pretty message board if there is too much clutter to notice it. Still working on that one, but I think it is so important. This is a great idea.

  90. 109

    says

    It helps getting along with my husband to remember that his differences aren’t automatically wrong, just different. And to even admire him in ways that he is different than me. But especially to learn to laugh about most of them, and laughing in a way of delighting in this mysterious man who is my husband, whom I have the privilege to discover for the rest of my life. Not laughing in a scoffing way.

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