One year. That’s how long I had been imagining going to that tiny cabin in the snow.
We live deep in the heart of Texas and the closest we get to a white Christmas is when the wind blows styrofoam in the air.
Our work is heavy. It’s fulfilling and life-giving, but it is heavy. With a new book coming out this month and burnout nipping at my heels, I told my husband I couldn’t think of anything I needed more than a couple of days in a remote cabin with my family and a lot of natural beauty. And skiing and a lot of snow.
But sometimes we don’t get what we want. But that doesn’t mean we don’t get what we need.
So, the day after Christmas we traveled about 4 hours down the road before we made the very hard decision to turn back home. If we continued heading west, we would run right into the worst blizzard to ever hit New Mexico. We would likely be stranded on the desert roads.
I cried the whole way back home.
I crawled into bed completely defeated and slept until 10:30 AM the next day. And then I woke up and I cried a little more.
We left the borrowed and bartered ski and snow clothes in the giant tub in the garage. And we traded our snowy cabin for home and 82 degree winter.
One minute, I was grateful. The next, I wanted to stomp my feet in a tantrum. I did a little of both.
We didn’t leave our house much over the next 10 days. We slept. We played games and watched movies, put puzzles together. We slept some more.
I read 3 books. Drank fancy coffee. I painted my nails. I started running.
I took time for myself for days. And slowly, very slowly, I started to relax. I sat in my War Room and I read Psalm 23 again and again. I wrote it out. I prayed, “restore my soul” until I felt like He had.
I opened my friend’s book, The Fringe Hours, and let it guide me to some hard questions about how I had gotten to this empty place:
- What items are non-negotiables in my life?
- What activities could be streamlined in my schedule?
- Am I doing too much? Do I need to say no more?
- Did I do anything just because it would have made me feel guilty to not do it?
- Would it be helpful to ask for or hire help for any of the things I spent time on during the week?
- Did I take time for yourself? If so, how much time?
- Overall, how did I feel this week?
God uses everything. I am more rested than I have been in a long time.
And I accepted that some roadblocks in our life are inconvenient and uncomfortable and flat out disappointing, but they are not meaningless. And sometimes you need time for yourself more than you need snow.
Get a copy of The Fringe Hours on Kindle for only $1.99 this week and find time for yourself.